By Alexa Day
A great many of us lost an hour last night. Congratulations! Spring is on its way, and not a moment too soon. Sure, regular schedules are going to feel weird for a little while. Some folks are going to show up for stuff at the wrong time. But the good news is that losing that hour is going to create a low-grade sleep deficit for some lucky individuals. Those people, like me, will eventually get an excellent night’s sleep, if not tonight, then within the next few days.
My plan is to invest those extra z’s in a nice sex dream. What do you think? Want to spend a night having really safe, completely consequence-free sex with a very interested party (or parties)? Well, I can’t make any guarantees, but I can tell you how I’ve managed to induce some really interesting dreams.
If you explore the web, you’ll find a lot of fairly involved methods for inducing the sex dream. (The exception: sleep on your stomach. I’ve not tried it this way, but it sounds simple enough, right?) I’m not sure it has to be quite so complicated. In fact, I think trying too hard to induce the sex dream can have the opposite effect, whatever that might be. I’ve gotten my best results by thinking pleasant thoughts at bedtime and not getting too attached to the results.
My last experience was with Campbell Scott, circa The Exorcism of Emily Rose, which was on television when I dozed off. When I went to sleep, Campbell was speaking to the jury with that lovely voice of his, which is actually very well suited for the sex dream. Of course, all that loud exorcism-related shrieking woke me up later, but Campbell made the most of our limited time together. I would not have chosen Campbell for myself; I just hadn’t thought of him in that way. Thankfully, my subconscious knew better.
Now, it took about a week of pleasant thoughts to open my subconscious to Campbell Scott, but he was worth the effort. Just as I was getting ready to fall asleep, right after lights out, I casually directed my thoughts toward the idea of having a sexual dream. Nothing specific. Just casual easy thoughts, with the same level of detail one might assign to a dinner one might prepare ten days from now. If I start preparing now, then I should be about ready for the sweetest part of slumber right about when daylight savings and my already freaky schedule conspire to take me down for the count.
So who’s next? I don’t know. The mystery is part of what makes dream trysts so exciting. I do know I’ll have to avoid some stuff, though. Full Metal Jacket is on TV a lot lately, and I don’t want Stanley Kubrick or any of his body of work anywhere near my subconscious. If I don’t find a better alternative, though, I might wind up with some seriously surreal unsexiness in my dream life. Hopefully, I can find something a little more inspiring to guide my subconscious this week on the way to my next sweet dream. I do have a nice tall stack of books next to the nightstand.
Who’s waiting for you in the shadowy, consequence-free world of your dreams? Tell the world in the comments section. And make sure you’re following Lady Smut. We’ll keep all your secrets.