Waiting For It: Are Erotic Romances Rushing to Sex?

25 Jan
Hold on, buddy. Can we not wait another few pages?

Hold on, buddy. Can we not wait another few pages?

By Alexa Day

Last week, I got to hang out with a colleague of mine for burgers and beer. After the Pro Bowl ended and before we started talking about whether Tom Brady’s balls were indeed perfect, we chatted for a moment about our writing.

Okay. Mostly, she indulged me as I complained about one of my pet peeves: erotic romances where the hero and heroine have sex too soon. Way too soon. Like within the first 15 pages. This is not the awkward near-miss that might have been sex or mere sexual thoughts or something like that. This is the hero and heroine having sex before I’ve really gotten comfortable with them.

It’s not so much that I object to sex between strangers in my romances. I’m a firm believer in the “slutcelebratory” romance, after all. I guess my issue with sex so soon is that I don’t know the hero and heroine yet. I don’t care enough about them to be invested in the sex. They just seem like two lucky people who fell into bed, and how nice for them, and I wonder what’s on TV right now.

My colleague and I wondered if sex so soon was just part of the genre and its tendency to test romance’s boundaries. I wasn’t so sure, but the thought bothered me a little. Erotic romance leans pretty heavily on both the frequency and intensity of sexual encounters, but how much emotion could anyone muster up within the first few pages? How much anticipation? How much tension? Where can these two people go from here? Is it possible to accomplish more than titillation that early?

Is titillation so awful?

I think Debbie Ford wrote in The Dark Side of the Light Chasers that the stuff that irritates us the most is also within ourselves, and I wondered aloud how long it took to get to naked fun time in my first book, Illicit Impulse. So I went home and checked my paper copy. The first page with actual story on it is page 7. Grace, the heroine, has sex for the first time eleven pages later.

Yep! Pot, this is Kettle. Kettle, meet Pot.

In fact, my latest story, “1-800,” opens with the hero and heroine having sex. Like on page 1. Now, to be fair, it’s a short story, so there’s not a whole lot of time to get to the sex, but still, it’s right away.

I had to scramble for excuses. Debbie Ford or no Debbie Ford.

Click to buy.

Click to buy.

Sure, Grace gets it on right at the start of Chapter Two. She isn’t with John, who’s the hero. She does have to share every detail of her encounters with John — you know, for science — and they have a pretty difficult time working through all that. But Grace does get an early start on donating her orgasms to the advancement of neuroscience.

I don’t really have an excuse for starting “1-800″ in bed. I knew the most important thing in the story was that the hero, Jason, was deeply in love with his fiancee, Kate. I guess I thought this was the hottest way to go about proving it. And it was kind of fun. I gave Jason a hard time after that. So there.

One of my favorite things about writing erotica and erotic romance is having the freedom to use sex for any number of plot and character development reasons. I think we have the most latitude to write angry sex, random sex, fearful sex, experimental sex, and this-won’t-go-beyond-tonight sex. I love that because I think we real people are having real sex in the real world for any number of reasons, many of which have little to do with romance.

So should I be more okay with the sex right at the beginning of the book?

I’ll try. I really will.

But if there’s a happy ending that close to the beginning, I’m going to need to see a much happier ending at the end. Know what I mean?

Do you think the sex is getting too close to page 1? Is that necessarily a problem? Let me know what you think and where you see it being done well.

And follow Lady Smut. We won’t make you wait for it.

Sexy Saturday Round Up

24 Jan

By Liz Everly and the Lady Smut Bloggers

AnthHello Sexy! Hope you are having a fabulous Saturday. Check out all of the fascinating blog posts we’ve found for you this week.

From Liz:

How to Write a Book Review

The Sexiest Words

From C. Margery Kempe:

2nd HarperCollins Virtual Romance Festival!

Invisible Boy/Girlfriend?

3 Damaging Myths about BDSM

From Madeline Iva:

Does he feel your pain? Maybe you’re feeling it for the both of you.  Call the Midwife — in Hindi! 

How people in India are learning about childbirth for the first time from a TV show.

24 Ways You’re Already Acting Like An Old Lady. In case you were wondering, yes, tea is my jam.

From Alexa:

This account of “A Day at the Porn Convention” raised a surprising number of the same questions I face every day as a writer. Check it out. A man with a foot fetish shares what he likes … down there.

Ruth Wilson explains that we won’t see sexual equality on TV until the men start catching up.

Winter Slips

23 Jan

If you don’t keep your wits about you in this icy time of year, you end up wearing one of these. At least it’s basic black, eh? So as I’m down to one-handed typing (hey, none of those jokes!). While I figure out working around life with a dislocated clavicle (who knew you could do that?) here’s the round up of tis week’s tour stops.

Don’t forget to sign up for the second Romance Festival! We’ll be there.

Romance Festival 2015
Events team from HarperCollins and Harlequin Mills & Boon
Saturday, 7 February 2015 at 14:00 – Sunday, 8 February 2015 at 20:00 (GMT)

This week’s tour stops for the Lady Smut crew:

19th January: http://www.confessionsofabookwhore.org/
20th January: http://houstonhavens.wordpress.com/
21st January: http://eroticaforall.co.uk
22nd January: http://sslyblog.wordpress.com/
23rd January: http://www.reviewedthebook.co.uk/

Hungry Like the Wolf: Sexy Paranormal Rec’s

22 Jan

Dragon! Dra–gon! Dragon!

By Madeline Iva

Don’t you love talking with other readers about paranormal romance? I do. It’s like raw honey. Part of it’s goodness is that it’s straight from the source. This one reader-friend I met at the Washington Loves Romance Reader’s Luncheon gave me the nitty gritty on shifter romances.

You see, I drift towards vampires–and I don’t think we give enough love to the wolf here on LadySmut, so this post is an attempt to help rectify that. (Let us not forget Kiersten Hallie Krum’s excellent pro-wolf post HERE.) So if you’ve been looking for some great paranormal romance, here’s what my favorite reader-friend ‘Donna’ recommends–both her recent reads and some past recommendations.

“Looking back at my reading the past few months I’m surprised that more of the paranormal reads aren’t shifters which will help make this a little easier to come up with just a few.

GA Aiken’s Light My Fire (dragon kin #7)


Who knew gargoyles could be sexy?

I’ve mentioned before that I love her books because she writes strong & smart characters. I love the interactions between all of the characters—the teasing, harassing & whatnot that often occurs between relatives & close friends. You can also see the love & support that underlies those relationships. In this one the hero is a dragon who is able to take human form when he wants/needs to (rather than a human who turns into a dragon or has an “inner dragon” , these are always dragons even if they happen to be in human form, they’re still a dragon in their head) gotta love dragons ,

Next there’s Christine Warren’s Stone Cold Lover (Gargoyles #2)
Who knew Gargoyles could be cool & sexy?

Bianca D’Arc’s String of Fate books 3 & 4

Jacob’s Ladder & Her Warriors respectively (book 4 is mfm)

This series while centered around big cats also includes other types of shifters including foxes & seals. There’s lots of action that happens because of the back story arc of good vs. evil (which she actually manages to run & interweave btwn all her shifter books). Also while it sticks with the fated mate there’s also period of are they/aren’t they that they have to work thru rather than “insta-love”.

Last but not least would be Remembered by Moonlight (moonlight #9) by Nancy Gideon. Wolf shifters in New Orleans.)


Max & Cee-Cee sittin’ in a tree…can true love withstand total memory loss?

In this book she returns to her original hero/heroine (Max & CeeCee-books 1-4 of the series. Other books in the series have their own heroes/heroines that are in Max & CeeCee’s world.)

A couple books earlier, a situation occurred that resulted in Max losing all his memories including of his mate. So this book is him rebuilding his life, her learning to accept that he may never remember their past but instead be a “new Max” and the two of them finding love together again. All the while dealing with clan/society politics, outside & inside threats to all they hold dear & that their friends care about.

She did a great balance so that the book was enjoyable if you had read all the prior books, but also if you’d only the past few books or were completely new to the series. You weren’t over or underwhelmed by the series history either way.

So there you go, some of the good shifter books that I’ve read the past few months & would recommend. Guess one thing they have in common is that they all have something unique to them–especially with the world building that makes it interesting–but manages not to go so far out there that it loses the appeal of the base trope.”

I asked ‘Donna’ about the heat level in these stories. Paranormal has a reputation for some of the hot, hotter, hottest sex out there in Romance-landia. Here’s what she had to say:


Here kitty-kitty!

“As for sexy times in stories, I’m fairly flexible as to how much is enough or too much (if I’m not in the mood to read it, I’ll just skim through that part). I can’t say that I’ve ever really thought a good book that I really enjoyed had too much or too little. What is important more than the how much (either in detail or frequency) is does it make sense to the story & characters? If a sex scene feels as if it’s been added to make a book “more sexy” or expounded so “it reads hot” that’s when I have a problem.

Part of why I don’t read much straight erotica is because I want a story that happens to also be sexy, not sex that happens have some story. Maybe since I’m older now I’ve come to appreciate the “Quality over Quantity” argument. Sometimes I miss the sexual tension build up that always use to occur. Why all the “insta-love, you’re the only one for me, gotta f*ck now” that a lot of shifter (& other paranormal) books have? It can get a little boring.

I guess us readers can make it hard on authors since when we find something we like we demand more & more of it, but then suddenly we’re over it because we’ve read so much of that it becomes the same old same old and we’re looking for that next new something different.

Meanwhile more books are being put out & the publishing folks are like ‘hey, you said you wanted this so here it is.” Perhaps that’s where the wisdom lies in not writing for the what the reader wants now but rather the story you want to tell. Hopefully that’s the story that will hold just the right uniqueness to keep the reader coming back for more.”

Hopefully! Are you new to shifters? Here are some other rec’s by ‘Donna’. Enjoy!

Shelly Laurenston/GA Aiken (a little snarky/rough-edged but she makes me laugh out loud)
Thea Harrison (her Elder series is very good & popular, includes a variety of supernatural beings)
Eve Langlais (sexy humor)
Shannon K. Butcher (Sentinal Wars which is more serious with a variety of series plotlines crossing through the books.)

Do you enjoy smexy romance and like writing reviews on Goodreads? Say hello in the comments section. As we launch into 2015, Lady Smut might be looking for a few good woman who know what they like.

AnthMeanwhile–come visit us as we Roam Around the World — or at least the UK and parts of the U.S. unknown….If you like paranormal you’ll j’dore our anthology THE LADY SMUT BOOK OF DARK DESIRES.  We’ve got goblins, gods, techno-vampires and a succubus from hellllllllllll.  Buy it, consume it, lurv it!

16th January: http://www.pinkypollock.blogspot.com

19th January: http://www.confessionsofabookwhore.org/

20th January: http://houstonhavens.wordpress.com/

21st January: http://eroticaforall.co.uk

22nd January: http://sslyblog.wordpress.com/

23rd January: http://www.reviewedthebook.co.uk/

Cookies And Cowboys: My Weird Obsession With The Pioneer Woman

21 Jan
Oh Ree, how I love thee

Oh Ree, how I love thee

By Elizabeth Shore

Even though I spent my childhood in the suburbs, as an adult I’m a fully converted city girl. Everything I could ever want is at my fingertips. Yes, I know, in NYC we have rats, roaches, rude people, sky high rent, too many honking cars, and gazillions of tourists, but that’s OK. We also have every variety of ethnic restaurant on the planet, we have theater and arts and culture and music and sports and on and on and on. While some people get panicked by the thought of being jam-packed like sardines on a subway, I take comfort in crowds. Isolation, on the other hand, freaks me out. All that space! No stores, no services. No people! Where do I get my mani/pedi? My lip wax? What the heck do I do about my dry cleaning? Where are all the Starbucks?

These concerns and more are easily addressed in the city. But in the country – egad! You gotta fend for yourself. So it’s quite unexpected that I’ve recently developed a weird crazy obsession with Ree Drummond, a.k.a, The Pioneer Woman. Do y’all know Ree? She lives on a remote cattle ranch in Oklahoma with her husband, Ladd, and their four kids. She cooks and bakes (a lot!), she blogs, she gardens, she’s a photographer, she homeschools her kids, and she has a cooking show on The Food Network. She lives in the middle of nowhere. We have virtually nothing in common. So why do I find myself not only watching her show, but making sure my DVR is set to record every episode? No really. I’m not kidding. Every episode.

As I try analyzing what’s behind this fixation of mine, I realize it’s probably because Ree does a whole lotta things right when it comes to her own career. She can be, and should be, a source of inspiration for us writers because there’s a lot to learn from her, specifically as it relates to her blogs and her website. They’re awesome.

A friend who’s an expert in website communications and publicity told me that one of the most important attention grabbers on a website is high-quality imagery. A page with pictures versus one with just text gets clicked on 94% more. Ree – who happens to be an amateur photographer – has tons of photos on her site. There are pix of where she lives, of her family, her vacation. But where she really shines is her recipes. With each one on the site there’s a step-by-step series of photos showing how everything is supposed to look as you’re preparing it so you can pretty much tell if you’re doing OK or royally screwing it up. And, of course, there are photos of how it all should all look once you’re done.

Photo courtesy of Ree Drummond

Photo courtesy of Ree Drummond

Take a peek at the recipe and photos for chocolate chunk cookies to see what I mean. Absolutely divine.

She refreshes the pages on her website all the time. I know when I go there I’m not going to be stuck with broken links and content that was uploaded last spring. To be fair, she may nowadays have helpers to keep up with all this stuff, but that hasn’t always been the case. She had to build her career just as we need to build ours, bit by bit, and she’s now one of the top three female bloggers on the web. Over the years she’s learned a thing or two about blogging and has got some great advice. Her words of wisdom about blogging are here.

Another thing about her site that keeps me coming back are the sprinkles of humor throughout her writing. Her sense of self-deprecation is often laugh-out-loud funny. To see what I mean, check out her hilarious post,”All I Wanted Was A Doughtnut.”

Ladd Drummond. Photo Courtesy of Ree Drummond

Ladd Drummond.
Photo Courtesy of Ree Drummond

As for her show, her house is beautiful, her man’s a stud and her kids are extraordinarily well behaved. In front of the camera, anyway. Seems it would be easy to hate the woman, yet you just don’t. Her blog is read by thousands every day across the globe, and another thing that keeps ‘em coming back are her giveaways. Really good ones, drawing tons of readers. Just recently she gave away three beautiful dutch ovens. All you had to do to win was leave a comment about what you had planned for the weekend. That giveaway alone drew over 126,000 comments. As fellow blogger Alexa Day would say, heyo!

So cowboy hats off to the “accidental country girl” Ree Drummond and her words of blogging and career inspiration. Maybe one day she can teach me how to make those cookies of hers.

And although we Lady Smutters might not be talking about cookies, we bake in words of wisdom of our own each and every day. Be sure to follow us do you don’t miss a thing.

We’re on our blog tour for the Lady Smut anthology — visit us this week! :)

16th January: http://www.pinkypollock.blogspot.com

19th January: http://www.confessionsofabookwhore.org/

20th January: http://houstonhavens.wordpress.com/

21st January: http://eroticaforall.co.uk

22nd January: http://sslyblog.wordpress.com/

23rd January: http://www.reviewedthebook.co.uk/

Geneva DeCroix: Erotica, Reinvention, and Living the Dream

20 Jan

By Liz Everly

At Lady Smut, we love smart women who write what they want to write. With the way the publishing industry is set up, often that means taking on several different names—which is more complicated than it sounds with all of the social media  venues these days and so on. It’s hard to keep up with all the names and personaes. But it also gives us a chance to play. 

Enter Geneva DeCroix, a writer who has reinvented herself more than a few times. And has done very well. She started out as a erotica writer, was very successful (under another name), then wrote a more traditional kind of series. Now she’s back to erotica. I don’t think she’d mind my telling you that she is one of the few writers I personally know who actually makes a damned fine living. So listen up, friends. It’s my pleasure to introduce Geneva DeCroix. 

Q: I’ve known you for a long time and been through several of your pen names with you. I met you when you were writing erotica and erotic romance and doing quite well with it. Then you were inspired to go in another direction and used another name. How important is it that erotica writers use pen names while they are writing in another genre? What are some of the reasons for it and doesn’t it make it more difficult to find your platform?

A: For me, I wanted a clear line drawn between my erotica and my mainstream work. My mainstream work doesn’t even have sex scenes in it! So a pen name only makes sense, because there probably wouldn’t be any crossover in fan bases.

I would do the same if I wrote two very different genres like epic fantasy and westerns.

As far as finding my platform, well, I’ve really just started working to build my erotica platform. Before, I focused my marketing efforts on my mainstream work, whereas erotica was something I wrote for fun when I was feeling inspired in that direction.

Building an erotica platform (aka social media connections) can be a bit more difficult. So many people are reluctant to review erotica stories. For a lot of people, erotica is something they enjoy privately but maybe don’t want to post where their mom can see it on Facebook! I totally understand that. So I have my brand new Facebook page for those who want to contact me, but I am not worried about it if people don’t feel comfortable with it.

Q: You’ve been very successful in writing in the newer genre. Why are you going back to erotica?

I’ve wanted to for some time, but always felt like I had more projects on the go than I had hours in the day and the erotica fell by the wayside. But recently, I’ve been working with someone who has taken on both the editing and formatting of all my work. That helps immensely!

Also, the rise of Kindle Unlimited inspired me to take a second look. It occurred to me that subscription services are perfect for erotica readers. There’s so much out there on Amazon, but how can you know if a particular story is going to fill the bill?

There’s a lot of free stuff out there, but let’s face it, some of the stories we’ve all seen going are, well, terrible. There’s others that might be well written, but they just don’t scratch my particular itch, if you know what I mean. Using a subscription service means I can try anything I want, download as much as I like, and there’s no risk! If I don’t like something, I just delete it and find something else.

I’ve recently been having all my collections broken up into single stories and adding some new bite-sized nibbles as well. Last week, I added six stories to Kindle Unlimited (with about twenty more to come over the month as I continue the process.) Since I did that, all of my downloads have been through Kindle Unlimited! I expected them to do well, but I didn’t expect that! Seeing that success has been exciting and inspirational!

Q: Could you just write in one genre your whole life? I know I couldn’t. I’d get bored writing one kind of story. What about you?

A: I totally agree. I don’t like to read only one genre either. Sometimes I’m in the mood for a good murder, other times I want something sexy, still others I want fantasy, magic, adventure. Sure, bits of each can creep in and cross over.

For example, my story The Dealership is a futuristic story about a woman who goes into a sex toy dealership to purchase a new model. Despite being shown “The William”, “The Sven” and “The Dante”, she sets her heart on “The Alex,” a most unusual prototype.  FREE TODAY FOR LADY SMUT READERS! (Click on the book covers to go directly to Amazon.)


Even in my sexy stories, I explore different types. Some is F/M, like A Reminder For Him, some explores spanking and anal sex, like The Gangster, and my latest story, The Bodyguard (just published this weekend) has no explicit sex at all, despite being (if I do say so myself) one of the hottest stories I’ve written (it’s got explicit language, nudity, and touching, but no sex happens on the page)




Q: You are an Indie publishing proponent, yet I know you started to be traditionally published. Would you care to share your reasons for Indie publishing?

A: My first ever paid publication was an erotic short story. Then I signed a contract for a paranormal romance (which I published under another name). I was delighted to be accepted into this profession I’d aspired to for so long, but I found quickly that my publisher wasn’t my friend. I was naive, I suppose, but what new writer isn’t? I got assigned book covers that I hated, was forced to make edits I didn’t agree with, and on top of that, my books were priced so high that sales weren’t great.

After a time, I asked for my rights back, and because sales weren’t fantastic, my publisher agreed. (They weren’t happy, necessarily, but they we did come to an agreement, which is a relief. I know not all authors under contract are so lucky.) I put my own covers on the books (I have a background in graphic design) and gave the books what I felt were reasonable prices, uploaded them to Amazon and sales took off.

I love being in control of my own career. It’s scary sometimes, because I’m the one to blame if things don’t go well, but at the same time, unlike a large publisher, I have the flexibility to make changes on the fly if something isn’t working. I can respond quickly to reader demand, which is what it’s all about.

Q: It seems to me that you are one of those rare writers who has a balance between left and right brain. You are very tech savvy and have used it to your advantage. Can you peer into your crystal ball and make any publishing predictions based on what you’ve seen and what you know?

I think subscription based models are here to stay. Just look at the entertainment industry as a whole and how Netflix and Spotify have changed the way people seek out what they want to watch or listen to. But I don’t think that means buying individual books is dead. In fact, Russ Grandinetti, Amazon’s VP in charge of Kindle, told a Book Seller’s Conference recently that “if you look at a customer’s buying patterns 60 days before KU and 60 days after, these customers are spending more money on books after enrolling—25% more on average.”

So book-library subscribers actually buy more books after subscribing than they did before! That’s good news for authors who fear that the subscription model will mean the end of people being willing to pay for books a la carte.

Publishing is changing rapidly. It has been since the ebook revolution began several years ago. It will continue to change, and authors have to be prepared to adapt. Remember that when we say it’s “market forces” driving the changes, it sounds like there’s some unknowable monster out there making our lives difficult, throwing up obstacles just when we got comfortable with something that worked. That metaphor couldn’t be further from the truth. All “changing market forces” means is that readers have new choices, and they’re loving it. We authors need to adapt to give them what they want.

Q: What some of the most important lessons you’ve learned in your publishing and writing career?


  • Living a dream takes hard work, but it’s worth every moment
  • Readers are the only critical part of the publishing chain
  • The only thing constant is change.

Thank you so much for hosting me today! It’s been a real pleasure.

Thank YOU, Geneva!

Question for Lady Smut readers from Geneva: Have you ever tried a subscription service for reading? Do you plan to in the future?”

Be the One You’re With: Writing Couples While Single

18 Jan
Click to buy.

How far will a man go to get the right gift for the woman he loves? Click to find out.

By Alexa Day

It’s been just under a week since my new short story, “1-800,” was released, and sharing my excitement about the story has naturally led me to think more about the characters and their situations. I’ve been spending an unusual amount of time watching home shopping channels, for example. I can see how people wind up spending hours watching the products parade by.

Yeah, I can see that because I’m one of those people now. Between the jewelry and the kitchen stuff, I’m definitely hooked.

I mentioned on Friday that I enjoyed this opportunity to write romance from the man’s perspective. I’m not sure what makes the male POV so much fun for me, although I’ll admit that I make my heroes’ lives as tough as I can. Maybe as they’re working to enjoy the story’s resolution, I’m enjoying the trouble I put them through.

But “1-800″ presented another interesting challenge: writing the married couple. Okay, Jason and Kate aren’t married just yet. Still, starting the story off within their very committed relationship definitely meant starting in a different way, especially for a single writer.

I got to plug in some of my knowledge from relationships past. Jason’s uncertainty about Kate’s clothing size, for instance, echoed my favorite ex’s annual confusion about my date of birth. But the day-to-day experience of being in Jason’s sort of relationship is mostly foreign territory for me, and it took me a little while to learn that exotic land’s particular customs.

In the end, I learned something important. I learned that the unmarried life suits me. It suits me better than I ever imagined it would. I’m addicted to the freedom of it. I can have as much excitement or stability as I want. I get to act on spur of the moment decisions. And lately, I’m exploring the idea of settling down and finding a place to call my own, where I can build a future of my own.

A single woman has a grand opportunity to fully discover who she is in her own context, to know her truest self before becoming part of a larger unit … or deciding not to do so. I wonder how many of us are taking advantage of that opportunity in the face of society’s push to see us paired off for good. I definitely think living alone for a while makes for better relationships, and I think that’s how things have worked out for Jason, the hero at the center of “1-800.”

He knows who he is. He knows that Kate has made him a better man. And he’s committed to protecting and nurturing the future they might create together.

I had such a good time bringing Jason and Kate to the page. I love reading the two of them together, even as Jason faces the surprising challenges of finding the perfect gift for the perfect woman. And now that Liz Everly has suggested it, I wonder if these two might have a hot wedding story waiting for them in the future.

It’s too soon to say. Right now, I love that their coupled bliss has made my hot single life even better. What else could a writer ask for?

Maybe something from a sexy home shopping channel. Maybe.

Are you following Lady Smut yet? Now’s the time.

Sexy Saturday Round-Up

17 Jan

By Liz Everly and the Lady Smut Bloggers

LS Fb squareHello Sexy! How I love the weekend, don’t you? Catching up on reading is always at the top of my to-do list—well, along with a few other things. Wink.

Here’s our list list week. Enjoy!

From Liz:

The Sex Toy Graveyard

Feminist moments at the Golden Globes. (Made me wish I’d seen it!)

Blow-job bib, anyone?

From Madeline:

Want to fall in love? Try THIS.  Here are The 36 questions you’ll need.

Surviving for better and for worse: More good reasons to get and stay married.  (Hmmm.)

Not gay? Reallllllllllllly? “My Husband’s Not Gay” premiere clip about SSA (same sex attraction.)

Wonk-o-mance blog post on “Confessions of a gay submissive sexelf”

From Alexa:

Book Riot’s just starting a conversation about diverse reading.

Also from Book Riot, check out this face-saving guide to frequently mispronounced authors’ names. I knew how to say Stiefvater, but you don’t want to know how badly I’ve been mangling Palahniuk.

If your love life were an erotic novel, which one would it be?

Click to buy at Amazon. :)

Click to buy at Amazon. :)

Follow along on the LADY SMUT BOOK OF DARK DESIRES Blog Tour:

19th January: http://www.confessionsofabookwhore.org/

20th January: http://houstonhavens.wordpress.com/

21st January: http://eroticaforall.co.uk

22nd January: http://sslyblog.wordpress.com/

23rd January: http://www.reviewedthebook.co.uk/

26th January: http://www.kaydeeroyal.blogspot.com/

27th January: http://galestanley.blogspot.com

28th January: http://lucyfelthouse.co.uk

29th January: http://areadersreviewblog.com/

30th January: https://alliwantandmorebooks.wordpress.com/

P.S. A Word from Liz: Part 5 in my serial EIGHT LAYS AROUND THE WORLD is now available on Amazon. This installment is set in Mexico. If you haven’t read the first installment, it’s now free on Wattpad and my website.

The Guys Have It: What Makes a Man’s Romance?

16 Jan
It's the thought that counts ... but some thoughts count more than others.

It’s the thought that counts … but some thoughts count more than others.

By Alexa Day

It’s been a very exciting week! My colleague, C. Margery Kempe, loaned me her blog day so that I could celebrate my new release, “1-800.” It’s a hot little story told from the male POV, about how one man’s search for the perfect Valentine’s Day gift leads him to a sexually explicit home shopping channel. The story’s out today on Amazon, and I’ve enjoyed reading this week’s posts on What Men Want.

I’ve only gotten to visit the male voice intermittently as a romance writer, but I enjoy hanging out on the dude’s side of the book. While it’s certainly a story for both men and women, “1-800″ is supposedly a men’s romance, but what makes a men’s romance a men’s romance?

Is it coarse language? My vision of the erotic romance for men includes a vocabulary that’s more vulgar than my other work — and I definitely like writing coarse sexual language under normal circumstances. I think men are not as inhibited when it comes to talking dirty (and thinking dirtier), but love does have a way of taming even the filthiest tongue. My hero, Jason, isn’t above mental vulgarity, but when he’s with his lady love, Kate, he manages to keep it relatively clean. She inspires him to be his best self.

Click to buy.

Click to buy.

I also think men enjoy a little more freedom in the variety of their sexual thoughts. They don’t seem to be working around the same kind of guilt and shame that keep so many women from exploring sexual thoughts and fantasies. To the extent that any of our thoughts is “normal,” I think the range of “normal thoughts” is broader for men than it is for women, as far as society is concerned. But here, again, love changes things. No matter how wild his afternoon of home shopping gets, Jason’s fantasy world revolves around Kate. She’s his reason for watching, and he never forgets it.

There might be less difference than ever between a “regular” erotic romance and its counterpart intended for men. With greater access to a wider variety of work, we’re all able to experiment with the same turn-ons, with no regard for gendered distinctions. I hope we’re on the way to an audience with an equal footing in both genders. That’ll make for an interesting shift, and I look forward to working both sides of the fence.

And now, since you’ve hung out with us this week, here’s a tiny little peek at “1-800.” Enjoy!

The girl in red waved at the camera. “Hi!” she said. “I’m Cassidy.”

Merry widow waved. “And I’m Marissa.”

Then, in unison, they announced, “And this is…The Toy Box!”

The two of them put their arms around each other’s shoulders and tittered like this was going to be the most exciting television show in the world. He put the remote on the table.

“We’d like to welcome you to the Valentine’s edition of the most popular show on the Shop From Home Channel,” said Cassidy.

“But these toys are for grown-up boys and girls,” said Marissa. “So if you’re under eighteen, you need to change the channel.”

They stood there and giggled some more.

Come on, kiddies, he thought. Change the damn channel.

“All right, then,” said Marissa. “Now we’re ready to show you some awesome gifts that are sure to spice up your special day.”

This was probably going to be something lame, like crotchless panties or a cake pan shaped like a dick. But he kept watching. Just to be sure. Until one of those games turned around.

“Why don’t we get this party started with one of our most popular goodies?” asked Marissa. “Cassidy?”

“This is our Little Giant,” Cassidy said. She held up her hand, one finger extended as if she were pointing at the ceiling. She had a little gizmo on her fingertip that looked for all the world like one of those little vibrators. “It’s a great present for a special someone you might like to know a little better.”

“I’ll take some calls while you give us a demo, Cassidy,” said Marissa.

A demo. Like the people in TV Land needed her to show them where the on switch was. Actually, he and Kate had gotten a toy once where the button was hidden in the—

Cassidy had walked to the back of the set, where she tucked her thumbs into the waistband of those festive red panties and pulled them down, bending at her waist and supplying just the right amount of jiggle. Then she hopped up onto a chaise longue and spread her legs, bending them at the knee. Jason felt his mouth drop open.

What the hell channel was this?

For a good time, you can pick up “1-800″ right now. And you can catch up with the rest of the Lady Smut crew on their blog tour. And then you can make sure you’re following us. We keep things pretty exciting over here.

What Men Like: BBW

15 Jan

By Madeline Iva

It’s theme week! We’re talking about what men like.  So far, over the last two years writing for this blog, I’ve learned that:

1) Men like women who are friendly, confident and open to being approached.

2) Men like to pursue women.  Sometimes to their detriment–if they try too hard or look needy.

3) Men like women who are 18 – 21 in person, but they fantasize about MILFS all the time.

4) Men like women for their (fill in the blank here) a) boobs b) ass c) pretty face

That’s all you really need to know.  As DH says, “it’s not rocket science.” ; > A lot of men are wired to respond this way.  They see what they see and their reptilian brain goes bing! and then they are off to the races.

BBW1The other thing I’ve learned in researching posts for this blog is that when it comes to men and women watching porn, men — unlike women — are sexually attracted to BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN or BBW.  Apparently BBWs can make a man’s brain go bing!

I like this.  Why? Because even though curvy women are beat down in the media for being over a size 8, men still like their figures.  It’s something men like that’s not disgusting.  And WHY do they like curvy women? The answer is just because they just do.  Not because society tells them to.  Not because they’re being nice.  Not because they’re willing to ‘lower their standards’.   No, a curvy woman can involuntarily turn them on.  Not all men of course, but the ratio seems to be 5 to 1 for a larger sized femme over a skinny-mini.

The point here is–as an online Discover article relates–men like larger women when no one is looking. They like larger women despite society telling them not to. Some speculate the reason men are sexually attracted to bigger women works along the line of  “if a little is good then a lot is better”.  If men like boobs, hips, & asses, then larger women means bigger breasts, bigger hips, bigger asses.  I get it.

Chris Pratt

I will always love you Chris Pratt, no matter what size you are. <3

Meanwhile, it’s interesting to note that there is no category for large men in porn that’s directed at women.  By large I mean all over.  There is most certainly a Big Dick category.  But there is no BBM category.  There’s a chub category–but that’s for gay men. Again, these are MEN who like or appreciate rounded proportions. (The whole bear/cub thing is different, but I suspect somewhat overlapping.)

If you look on the internet there’s BBW dating.  BBW Romance.  BBW awards — oh wait, that’s base ball writers.   And Big Beautiful Men? Not so much.  So who is it being hyper-critical about appearance?

At any rate–3 cheers for what turns men on! Here’s where you can find a long list of BBW romances on Goodreads–complete with books by Delilah Devlin, Charlotte Stein, Mary Jo Putney and others. Which brings up another question — women might not like BBMen, but are they attracted to BBW? Or do they read BBW because they are BBW themselves and identify with the heroine? Hmmmm.

1-800_MSRMeanwhile, if you’re looking for that nice guy in erotica who wants to please his partner but wanders into a friendly home shopping network selling sex toys — look no further! Our very own Alexa Day’s latest short story 1-800 is available HERE.

Oh, by the way dear Lady Smut readers — We’re on a blog tour this week! As we roam across the world we’ll be delving into the dark temptations of our anthology. Stop by and visit us in the comments section and say ‘hi’.  :-)

12th January: http://locglin.blogspot.com/

13th January: http://yougottaread.com

14th January: http://kdgrace.co.uk

15th January: http://www.lovebitessilkties.co.uk/

16th January: http://www.pinkypollock.blogspot.com


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