Dark Desires: A $3,000 Orgasm

21 Oct

A few weeks back, when Lady Smut held a pre-launch party for our book THE LADY SMUT BOOK OF DARK DESIRES, sex toys were given out as prizes. They were from the store where we had the party. Such a fabulous a generous group. In any case, it was an odd sensation to be sitting with a group of women talking sex toys and passing around these rather intimate objects and testing them in our hands.

Photo by Bahia Noticias

Photo by Bahia Noticias

I don’t think my mother would approve. And that suits me just fine. Grin.

I don’t think this is something I could have imagined doing 20 years ago. I wasn’t embarrassed and it didn’t make me the least bit uncomfortable, even though many of the women there were people I barely knew. It helped that many of the women there were as comfortable as I was.

But we were all women of a certain age. Most of us have had children; none of us were virgins. All of us had probably had more than one lover in our lives. So, what’s to be embarrassed about with a little vibrating sex toy?

So I won the most expensive and probably most interesting sex toy there. It’s the Olga by Lelo. It’s metallic and doesn’t vibrate. It’s much heavier than one would think you could have use for as a sex toy. I thought if I didn’t have kids I might use it as an interesting paper weight–you know it would be a great one for an erotic romance writer.

But then, I looked it up online.

It’s weight is supposedly one of it’s many benefits–as when it’s inserted, it presses right on the g-spot in most women. The other thing it’s very good for is holding temperature. So if you put it in ice, it will remain cold—and vice versa, if you prefer the warmed-up version, so to speak. I’ve been sending pictures to my friends and one said, “Now that I’ve seen it on ice, I admit–I kinda want it.”

Well, too bad. It’s mine. ;-)

Here it is on ice:


If you’re interested, check it out here, which is the company website. You’ll note that this is the silver one. There is a gold-plated one available for over $3,000. That’s right. A gold-plated dildo. That, my friend, must be one hell of an orgasm. But if you can spend even more, I’ve seen toys for $7,000 and $13,000. Here is a good review of the Olga. 

In any case, between the new toy I won, and the lovely toys LoveHoney recently sent me, I’m flush with sex toys. Which is not something I’d ever imagine myself saying or writing. But there you have it.

P.S. Please don’t send me any more sex toys. (More words I never thought I’d write.) If you have an itch to send me something, fine chocolate, champagne, jewelry, lingerie, and for the price of one of these luxury sex toys, a trip to Europe or a tropical island, where I could, indeed, have the time to indulge with all of my new toys, are at the top of my I’ve-been-a-very-good-girl list.  Grin. In the mean time, if you like historical fiction where dildos ARE NOT included, check out my latest : Tempting Will McGlashen, featuring Scottish blacksmith and an innkeeper’s daughter.

Click to order!

Click to order!


Kiersten Hallie Krum Is Away Today….

20 Oct

But will be back next week.

Enjoy this eye candy — our new anthology cover. :)


Take Me Away: F Coupes and Fantasies of Abduction

19 Oct


That's nice, isn't it? It'll be his turn soon enough.

That’s nice, isn’t it? It’ll be his turn soon enough.

By Alexa Day

I love this year’s line of Jaguar commercials. The ones that reassure us that Brits make the best villains. I think they started during this year’s Super Bowl. I remember watching Mark Strong driving that gorgeous F coupe around. Between his sinfully sexy voice and the delicious growl of the engine, I’d have bought whatever the television told me to. It’s probably best that the base model F coupe costs $65,000, or I’d be living in it now.

I lost sight of the ads for a while, until I heard bits of breathless praise for one featuring Tom Hiddleston. Tom doesn’t do anything for me. I’m sure he’s a lovely person; I just don’t find him attractive. As a result, I didn’t pay loads of attention to what people were saying.

Tom Hiddleston … something something … Jaguar … something … bag in the trunk … something … what’s in the bag?

Here’s how it really goes.

When I finally watched it, my first thought was that the bag was too small. I had envisioned a large bag, made of silky black fabric, with a sleek length of rope to fasten the top.

You know, something big enough for me.

I’m not saying that I fantasize about being dropped into the Jaguar’s luxuriant trunk by Tom Hiddleston. I’m not attracted to Tom. If Mark Strong wanted me in the trunk of the F coupe, however, he wouldn’t even need the bag. I’m not just going to hop in because he says to, mostly because I enjoy listening to him talk. But I would offer him only token resistance. I might bite his hand just to see what sort of sound he made, but my plan is to end up in the trunk like a good girl.

The abduction fantasy has been one of my favorites for many years, at least since high school. I’ve long indulged thoughts of being carried off by strong, powerful men who needed me for something they knew I would not surrender willingly. The fantasy’s politically incorrect surface discourages most people from examining it further. I think people struggle to understand that it has no correlation to actual abduction, and I think they struggle with this more than they do with a lot of other sexual fantasies. Because I enjoy the abduction fantasy and its permutations so much, though, I don’t mind studying it from time to time. Themes of power, surrender, control of self and control of others pop up in my writing fairly often. I just think that sort of thing is hot, and I like experimenting with all those boundaries.

The abduction fantasy wears many faces. I maintain a mental shortlist with a rotating cast of fantasy kidnappers. (And they are all mine. Not sharing them.) Some of them are good-looking sophisticates, guys like Mark, who want something I have. A state secret. Launch codes. Passwords. Knowledge of arcane languages. They’re endlessly patient and wonderfully seductive, and this flavor of fantasy is more about power than about sex. I mean, until I give up the launch codes or whatever, the plot for world domination is at a standstill, right? I’ll get to see just what this person will do to get what he wants from me. That’s a nice train of thought.

Click to get in line for release day!

Click to get in line for release day!

And sometimes I’m dealing with a rough character with baser interests. These guys look more like Jason Statham, accustomed to the use of force. They might deliver me to someone who wants the launch codes, but along the way, any number of inappropriate things might happen. This one’s about power, too, but not in the same way. It’s about being desirable enough to erode a man’s self-control. It’s about driving a man beyond regard for consequences. In a world where successful single women still hear that men are “too intimidated” to approach them, the rougher abduction fantasy, starring men who are not at all afraid of women, will always have a place.

I’m so tempted at this point to get into the family of fantasies featuring us women as the abductors of men. If you’re following my author page on Facebook, you’ve already seen occasional pictures of hot shirtless dudes tied to beds, showerheads and the like. I think that sort of thing is stimulating. But it is perhaps another story for another day.

For now, I’m going back into the trunk of the imaginary F coupe. I’m going to look at the trunk release handle — because a $65,000 car certainly has one — and I’m going to wonder just what Mark Strong is going to ask me for and whether I’m inclined to give it to him today.

As for you, get your own F coupe! Preorder your copy of The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires for more hotness.

And follow Lady Smut if you know what’s good for you.

Sexy Saturday Round-Up

18 Oct

By Liz Everly and the Lady Smut Bloggers

LS Fb squareHappy Saturday! We’ve got a great line-up of blog posts for you this week.

From Liz:

Barbara Freethy into print, keeping all digital rights.

A new twist on the dangers of sex in the ocean. 

But what was she wearing?  Why it doesn’t matter.

From CMK:

Cosplay is NOT consent: the creepy things guys say

Gone Girl and Why We Need Female Villains (spoilery)

If I were locked in a bookstore, I’d be in heaven; this guy, not so much

From Madeline Iva:

Science has found the Cure For A Broken Heart.

Oh No!!! Oh yes –It’s the annual Wife Carrying Race.

This from Romance University: cultivating cruelty as a romance writer.

This from Romance Beat.com: 10 Ways You Know You’re Not Living In A Romance Novel.

From Alexa:

This problem is not limited to the Sexiest Woman Alive stories, but it’s worth considering anyway.

The primal forces behind sex and terror have held hands for a long time. Here’s why.

Maya Rodale gives us this list of things romance novels teach us about life. Check out 10, 26 and 27 in particular.

A Tempting Man

17 Oct Spinning Gold by C Margery Kempe - 500

Tempting Will McGlashen by Liz Everly - 500by C. Margery Kempe

This week we’re spotlighting Liz Everly’s latest, Tempting Will McGlashen, out now from Tirgearr. In case you need a reminder, here’s the blurb:

Mathilde Miller wanted to be a good daughter and marry the son of a long-time family friend, Joshua Bowman. But she didn’t want to be the wife of a Pennsylvania farmer. She loved her life, cooking on the Virginia frontier at her family’s ordinary. The minute blacksmith Will McGlashen walks into her kitchen, her restlessness focused on him. Fresh from Scotland, with a voice “like a song” and thick coppery hair, her heart belonged to him. Was it possible for the daughter of a Pennsylvania German to marry a hired man from Scotland? What did she really know about Will McGlashen and his secret past?

Well, we know how easily I am tempted by a Scotsman ;-) And a blacksmith, too — think of the muscles in those arms! I’m sold, but then I love Liz’s books. She has a way of capturing sensual scenes with perfect attention to the right details and great dialogue, too. I’m looking forward to catching up with Mathilde and Will as they fall in love.

I’ll admit it’s not my favourite time period for historicals: my alter ego Kit Marlowe writes stories set in the medieval period, the 19th century and the roaring 20s. I only got American history in my schools and was sick to death of pilgrims, colonists and revolutionary war. But you know, all it takes is the right story to get me interested in something again. There’s so much potential for adventure, too. We forget how much of wild place Virginia is in that time period. It’s really on the edge of wilderness and the colonists are interlopers in another country.

You don’t want to miss the chance to find out what happens — and hey, look what I’ve got coming soon: a medieval M/M romance, Spinning Gold. At Lady Smut we do what we can to please you. Follow us if you don’t want to miss a thing.

Spinning Gold by C Margery Kempe - 500

Rogues, Romps & Revolutionaries!

16 Oct

By Madeline Iva

delectable 18th century fashion

delectable 18th century fashion

I heart the messy frosted wedding cake fashions of the last quarter of the 18th century. It’s not just period in time, but a spirit of change — the dawn of Romanticism, the era of enlightenment and chaos combined.

Perfect for kicking off while you're on a swing.

Perfect for kicking off while you’re on a swing.

What a great time – what glorious panache the people had.  A great big mix of good, bad, saint & sinners, cosmopolitian intellectuals and nature loving stewards of the land.  Humanity was just about to raise her skirts and take a big step out of the muddle puddle of misery we’d been languishing in since the dark ages.498EL MONTE-  71.

There was a stiff side to things, to be sure, but also what I call a Wild Child Enlightenment.Fop me Wild child enlightenment

Modern science was embryonic, Mary Shelley was having nightmares of monsters. Western culture began chugging along on steam while great minds reflected on our animal desires and our inner nature.Fan me

Poets and philosophers made love with each other and planned utopian visions high on opium.

Fop me now.

Fop me now.

Freedom fighting revolutionaries took their politics and passions to the streets, wrapping it all up in a bloody red American bow.betsy-flag-crop-main

Tempting Will McGlashen by Liz Everly - 500

Click to buy it now.

Tempting Will McGashon is a romance about that time. With title you can roll around on your tongue and a Scottish hero you’d happily invite into your bed, Liz Everly combines nature worship, small town coziness, and a hot Scot with big troubles into a revolutionary historical that will tingle your toes.

Check it out—and follow Lady Smut.  Alba gu bràth!

If This Cover Was a Man, I’d Have Sex With Him

16 Oct

If you want a review copy, you blogger/review writin’ gal you, just email me at madelineiva@gmail.com. We’ll hook you up.

by Madeline Iva

It’s here, it’s here!  Just in time to celebrate the second anniversary of our Lady Smut.com group blog is the cover for our anthology THE LADY SMUT BOOK OF DARK DESIRES.

Pre-order it now from Barnes & Noble.  Or let Amazon notify you when you can grab this puppy all for your own.  Word on the street is that it’s releasing November 6th.

I really like the cover.

It’s edgy — like our anthology.

Hot — like our anthology.

Mysterious — you get the idea.

Here’s a blurb:

Uncanny moments mix with steamy romance in these four adventurous tales. 

  • When a vampire materializes through her computer, Brenna Bang finds herself marked for inescapable passion with a tech savvy bloodsucker.
  • Jenny needs to unravel the mystery of what she does at night and whom she does it with in order to subdue the sexual demon inside her.
  • A young woman tries to figure out how to unlock her grandmother’s wardrobe and uncover what happened all those years ago when the goblins came to offer their sensuous erotic fruits.
  • Locked in an abandoned mental asylum, an ambitious filmmaker soon discovers she’s trapped with a Dionysian god.  He offers her a glimpse of astounding future artistic success—but there’s a price. 

Go ahead, tell us what you think below — and win a free copy. :)

For more fall frolics, follow our blog –believe me, the adventure has only just begun!

No Sex, Please – I’m Cuddling

15 Oct
Cuddling, tattooed man

Let’s just cuddle

By Elizabeth Shore

Right around this time last year, big brouhaha was afloat in Madison, Wisconsin over the proposed opening of The Snuggle House, a go-to place for reaping the benefits of “touch therapy,” to help us feel connected in our disconnected world. So cozy! The very thought makes me feel like the fabric softener bear with the squeaky voice. Except not all Madison councilman were snuggling up to the idea, many expressing concerns that The Snuggle House was a cozy front for not-so-cozy prostitution. After much dickering among the owner, a bevy of lawers and a multitude of politicians, The Snuggle House at last opened its doors. For three weeks.

Alas, The Snuggle House is no more. Dang. So what’s a person to do nowadays who just wants an honest-to-goodness snuggle? Or cuddle? Is there no hope? Well, of course there is, silly. All you need to do is download Cuddlr. It’s like Tinder but without the sleazy casual sex association. Cuddlr, according to its website, is a location-based, social media app to find people who are up for a cuddle. And that’s it. Errr … right?

Perhaps I’ve just been around the block a few too many times, but I have to confess, I have … concerns. Am I truly to believe that two strangers meet, hug, and then go their separate ways, a balance of peace and harmony restored in their lives from their quickie cuddle? Maybe if it really, truly worked as the app developers envisioned, then maybe. Maybe. But here’s the thing: if I just need a hug, I can get one from my true friends. There aren’t sexual expectations from them. We’re friends. We love each other as friends, support each other as friends, and give each other hugs as friends. If there’s someone out there who can’t get a hug from his or her friend, is that person I myself would want to be hugging? Or, worse yet, cuddling?

I have visions of using Cuddlr to get myself a nice dose of oxytocin through the warm touch of a stranger, only to have said stranger start groping me. Maybe his arm “accidentally” slips a little too far down as we cuddle and suddenly my ass is getting grabbed. Or I feel his stiff “member” pressed not-so-cuddly against my butt. What then? According to Cuddlr, they’ve thought of that. You can report on the cuddlyness of your cuddler by rating him or her after the encounter as “successful” or “unsuccessful.” Too many bad ratings aren’t likely to get one repeat cuddle requests, and Cuddlr says it bans anyone consistently using the app improperly. I suppose I could, as a  woman, decide only to cuddle with other women. Cuddlr doesn’t allow users to filter for things such as age or gender, but you could just keep declining cuddle requests until you get one from someone you think looks OK. Except all you really have to go on is the cuddle requestor’s Facebook picture, and we all know how accurate those can be. Another disagreeable side effect of the app is that, without warning, a map appears documenting you and your potential cuddler’s whereabouts. Hope you’re not caught up in privacy concerns!

As earnest as the developers’ intentions, the biggest problem with Cuddlr is that it doesn’t take the awkwardness factor into account. People in today’s world are lonely for good reason. It’s hard to meet and connect with people on an intimate basis, even if you don’t intend for the intimacy to be sexual. So an app attempting to address the loneliness factor is conceptually a fine idea, but technology isn’t going to help us overcome how weird and awkward it is to simply start spooning with a stranger.

For a better, safer, and much more rewarding cuddle, I recommend Liz Everly’s wonderful new historical romance, Tempting Will McGlashen. We’re celebrating its release this week, so why not give yourself a good ol’ self cuddle and get yourself a copy. And while you’re at it, be Tempting Will McGlashen by Liz Everly - 100sure to follow Lady Smut. We’ll wrap our virtual arms around you and we promise not to grope.



Five Surprising things about the Colonial Backcountry

14 Oct

By Liz Everly

Tempting Will McGlashen by Liz Everly - 500I’m so thankful that my fellow Lady Smut bloggers are celebrating the release of TEMPTING WILL McGLASHEN with me this week. Today is release day–YAY!

This book is very special to me—I wrote it a few summers ago, asking questions of my historian husband and my agent Sharon Bowers along the way. I learned lot during that summer about history, writing, and the business.  Our passion for reading and history is one of the many things that has brought my husband and I together.

One of the intriguing things about history is how perceptions of it often don’t stack up to the reality of it—which is why when I read about something that kicks my school-learning-belief system in the head, my writer’s ears prick. Being married to a historian has given me a keen sense of how history written in books skims the surface. My husband has taught me to look deeper and think harder about history.

TEMPTING WILL McGLASHEN takes place in the Virginia backcounty—a very different place that, say, colonial Boston. Wilder, to be sure, but it was also a time of culture clashes and growth, along with exploration and hardship. The backwater was a brew of different ethnicities, religions, and customs. Thinking about romance in that situation provided much fodder for my writer’s mind.

Here’s a few things I thought I’d pass on that might give you something to think about.


  • African-Americans were not all slaves at the time, which is not to say that even though they were free, life was good and easy for most of them. I’ve worked a couple of “walk-on” characters into this novel that are based on odd but true stories. One of the stories is about Ned, the African-American man who was married to a white woman. This was mentioned in the Moravian Diaries and there is a recently-published book about it—The Road to Black Ned’s Forge: A Story of Race, Sex, and Trade on the American Colonial Frontier by Turk McClesky. I actually went to hear Turk speak about his book and was able to ask a few questions.
  • Speaking of marriage. Often in the backcounty, there were no preachers or magistrates. Agreements may have been made by families. But many “marriages” were not what we would deem legal. Sometmes couples would live together for years, have a huge family, before a traveling magistrate or preacher would come through and make it legal.
  • Almost everybody was a “farmer.” My manuscript has been through so many edits by now—and at one point one of my readers asked me if my characters were innkeeper or farmers. Hmmm. Then, if you didn’t farm, you didn’t eat or feed your family. Subsistence farming was the way you lived on the frontier of Virginia. You didn’t necessarily call yourself a “farmer.”
  • Women did not sit idly by needlepointing. In the backcountry, women had to be strong to survive, of course, and there could be no slackers in a family. Everybody worked—and worked hard. One of my walk-on characters is a real historical person named Mary InUnknown-1gles, whose story of capture, escape, and survival is nothing short of miraculous. “Follow the River” by James Alexander Thom is a novel that brings to life this inspiring true story. Her escape consisted of a 43 day and 1000 mile journey through incredibly rough country. She and another woman made it back home to Draper’s Meadows. Mary’s hair had turned completely white although she was only about 24 years old.

5. The puritanical view many Americans tag on the the colonist was not prevalent. Sure, among the “puritans,” it was. But the made up a small portion of the population. Colonists came from everywhere and brought their views with them. Many of them had healthy, sort of earthy, views about sex—especially sex after marriage. Sex before marriage is trickier business—but according to the medical records of the time, a huge percent of women were already pregnant when they were married—this is across all colonies.

A clashing of cultures. A shifting of paradigms. Great changes that brought about the United State of America. Set a romance against all of this—featuring a recent immigrant from Scotland who wields a blacksmith’s hammer and the daughter of an innkeeper—and be still my beating heart.

If you get a chance, stop by the Heart of Fiction blog today and win a copy of TEMPTING WILL McGLASHEN.

Historical Fiction Isn’t History…It’s Better

13 Oct

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

I’m on vacation this week, which for me means attending New York City Comic Con with Entertainment Weekly while shepherding my sister’s first visit home from Arizona in three years and, later this week, helping my New Jersey Romance Writers chapter run our Put Your Heart in a Book annual regional conference.

Basically, I go to the day job to rest.

This week, we’re celebrating our own Liz Everly’s new release Tempting Will McGlashen by looking at bits of Revolutionary War era. I confess, I’m not a big fan of the era, or of American history in general though I infuse it with all relative importance. As a lover and student of Medieval European history, American history still feels so…young.


Fantastical as it is, Sleepy Hollow has made Revolutionary War history fun and interesting again. There’s a lot to love there that gets lost in the high school required reading of tea tax and winters in Jockey Hollow. High-stakes, big risks, bloody battles, split families, patriots, traitors, passionate arguments on the nature of and sacrifices for liberty and freedom. Watching Ichabod’s enlarged sense of insult as he viciously debunks the historical myths that have grown up and around such things as Paul Revere’s Midnight Ride is as entertaining as his lovelorn chats with Yolanda the North Star operator. (Fist bump, Yolanda.)


I know a brilliant history and religion professor who, when we were in undergrad together, told me historical fiction inaccurately dramatizes history. Well, yes, given that most of the characters in the novel aren’t real, hence why it’s called “fiction”. And sure, authors have been known to take liberties with historical events and people for the purpose of drama, but the good ones notate when and why they’ve done so. No harm, no foul.

Contrary to my friend’s learned feelings and those of many history academics who share his opinion, I love historical fiction. I think it takes what can be the tired and boring listing of events and dates and infuses it with relatable characters from whose points-of-view we can once again internalize what might otherwise come off as more than a little emotionally removed.

Through historical fiction, we can experience the internal conflicts Henry V may have felt on the eve of battle or the desperation and fear of the Jacobite mad rush onto the field at Culloden (you had to know I’d work Outlander in here somehow). It humanizes history in a way textbooks and tomes miss with regurgitation. It’s easy to think that the men and women of the Revolutionary War were all about the debates of the Continental Congress and the somewhat farcical images we have of The Boston Tea Party. In truth, they were rebels of limited means and numbers going up against the Great British Empire, courageous men and women turning their backs on centuries of English rule for the hope of something better for themselves and their children. In short, they were bad ass. Historical fiction helps bring these emotional truths to the fore; historical romance fiction weaves in the love elements as well. The conflict that arises when the love of one’s life is risking his or her own for a higher calling…or even is on the other side of the revolutionary divide.

To be sure, few things are as exemplary of the dangerous ways actual history can become historical fiction than today’s observance of Columbus Day as a national holiday. Many business no longer observe the holiday despite the inconvenience of post offices and bank closures. But it yet remains part of the national lexicon. John Oliver took the matter to hand last week in his hilarious “How Is This Still a Thing?” segment on Last Week Tonight. As I can in no way do it better, I invite you all to take a look for yourselves.

Click to pre-order!

Click to pre-order!

Check out Liz Everly’s take on historical romance in Tempting Will McGlashen, now available for pre-order. And follow Lady Smut where real-life is much too crazy to be mere fiction.


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