Why Tom Hardy Won’t Play The Hero

19 Jan

by Madeline Iva

There’s scuttlebutt going around about Tom Hardy playing Bond. (My vote is still for Idris Elba).

It’s a tease, folks.  Don’t believe it.  Won’t ever happen.

Tom Hardy can look like that really bad boy–the one your parents worried about when you were growing up.  tom1He can look like trouble on a stick, and his lips are all smokin’ hot and sensual, making one’s panties go perfectly damp. Yet he’s elusive.

He wrinkles his forehead and all you want to do is clutch him to your cleavage and sooth him.  You see pictures of him cuddling his dog and your ovaries get all rumbly.tom2  Yet he manages to evade massive female adoration, mostly by doing projects like this that we’re not really that into.  It’s as if some gravitational pull of the universe was drawing him away from us.

He simply won’t play the hero.  He denies that women could be attracted to him, yet he knows how to look perfectly pretty-boy if he wants to.

You can play the pretty boy if you want to, Tom. If you *want* to.

You can play the pretty boy if you want to, Tom. If you *want* to.

However, he says he’s got crooked teeth, toothpick arms, and yada yada yada.  Bullsh*t. He’s got those lips, that nose, that voice and that smoldering something.  I submit to you the following evidence:

I see a toothpick, but it's not your arms, Tom.

I see a toothpick, but it’s not your arms, Tom.

Gah!

I first noticed Tom and his wonderful British accent in RockNRolla – and I admit, one had to squint a little to see him around the combined mega-wattage of Idris Elba and Gerard Butler.  But I remember his role far more clearly than the characters that the other two played.tom4

I think Tom didn’t have much success with more woman-friendly roles at first. So he went sideways on us.

Clearly he wants respect.  In interviews he speaks with such concentration, as if not wanting to say anything ass-hat-ish and sorta squinting with multiple pauses.  It’s like he’s struggling to not say any words that aren’t spoken from his deepest principles, but these principles are hard to hear amidst all the other jostling emotions surging up inside him.

He’s had his troubles.  He was a wee bit bi at one point in his life. And did his baby-mama ever actually marry him? No.  Now he’s engaged married to Charlotte Riley, who’s that funny looking yet excellent actress from JONATHAN STRANGE & MR. NORRELL.  They met on the set of Wuthering Heights, yet even while playing Heathcliff for god’s sake he still denies he’s the hero-type women want.

Because we don’t want someone intelligent, Tom? Because we don’t want someone who defies boundaries and stereotypes? Pah.tom3

Fine.  Make us chase you, Tom.  But your destiny is written in the sky, and you can’t escape fate.  If not Bond, then some other role will reach out and pluck you by the back of the neck.  Some other role will require you to once and for all demonstrate that you know how to hold a woman in the palm of your hand and with one twist of the fist make her all orgasmic.  You can’t fool us, Tom, even though you try.

Follow us at Lady Smut and SUBSCRIBE to our hot-hot-hot news & giveaways by hitting that subscribe button.

wickedapprenticefinal-fjm_high_res_1800x2700Madeline Iva writes fantasy and paranormal romance.  Her fantasy romance, WICKED APPRENTICE, featuring a magic geek heroine, is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and through iTunes.  Sign up for Madeline Iva news & give aways.

 

 

Why You’re Not Cruising Down The Threeway Freeway

18 Jan

By Elizabeth Shore

Over the past almost five years now, we’ve written our handful of posts on ménages here at Lady Smut. Madeline Iva has covered both zombie ménage and vampire ménage, and she and Elisabeth SaFleur have written about it from Charlotte Stein‘s point of view. We’ve also had my post on a friend’s recollection of her real-life ménage. If all these threeway fun play posts have gotten you in a mood to dabble in the world of ménage, then how come you’re not cookin’ up a bacon samie of your own? Because, as we’ve learned, it’s damned hard.

A friend recently  hipped me up to an interesting article in the New York Post about the challenges of morphing your ménage fantasy into real-life slap and tickle among you and two lusty partners. On the surface it seems as if it wouldn’t be all that tough to find a willing partner or partners to make the ménage fantasy happen. You’ll see it listed on those top ten lists of women’s fantasies plastered all over the internet. A ménage is kind of like a Miss Texas contestant in a beauty pageant – almost always among the finalists. So in theory, with so many people allegedly lusting for three-ways, finding a partner would be like finding a vibrator. Just take your pick from among the many available. But according to the article, it’s not that easy.

If you think about it, it’s hard enough finding one person with whom you want to have sex multiple times. Sure, you can do a quick hook-up on Tinder for an easy one-nighter, but inevitably it’s just a single night for a reason. Getting the chemistry right is work, and it does indeed require you to kiss a lot of frogs before finding a prince. Or even just someone normal. On top of that, if you’re wanting to add a third person to the mix, now you’ve got two people – you and your partner – who both have preferences for what they like and want in the additional person.

Introducing the concept of a “unicorn” – a bisexual person who joins an existing couple’s relationship – can be an exciting way to add spice. The unicorn can theoretically make that ménage fantasy come true without damaging a couple’s foundation. Kind of a real-life sex toy with no emotional strings attached. Except that the unicorn is, in fact, a live person with his or her (often a her, though not always) own set of feelings and needs. In an article in marie claire, a woman who served as a sexual unicorn ended up getting involved with the husband behind the wife’s back and ultimately tossed aside when it became too complicated. Talk about being the ultimate third wheel.

But the NY Post article interviewed several women who’ve served as unicorns for which the experience has been positive. They cite several reasons: the ability to please and tease both men and women (assuming the ménage is M/F/F and the unicorn is a woman); it’s flattering to be wanted by not one but two people; it allows for the ability to be a pleaser, to make other’s fantasies come true; and it allows one to have intimacy but not the jealousy that can often come when an additional person invades a traditional couple relationship. If you’re just “servicing” the couple, you’re not going to be jealous. Or so it’s supposed to go.

But the downside, as noted earlier, is that unicorns do have feelings and they do have needs. If involvement in a relationship turns emotional but the emotional needs aren’t being met, that’s going to be nothing but a complicated world of hurt. The woman in the marie claire article had that very thing happen to her. She and the husband began developing feelings for one another, but his desire not to leave his wife meant she was eventually kicked to the curb. And the unicorn herself didn’t want only the husband, she wanted the package deal. Since the wife no longer desired it, the unicorn misses out.

So what to do? How do you have a successful threeway? An article at greatist.com offers sage advice, including establishing ground rules and having an exit strategy. And don’t forget about the needs of your unicorn. They’re not just there to serve as glorified toys. Take these tips and you’ll soon learn that unicorns aren’t just fantasies.

What do you say, oh reader? Would you have a threeway? Would you serve as a unicorn? Let us know in the comments below, and don’t forget to sign up for our Lady Smut newsletter. Free stories and fun stuff you won’t get from the blog alone. Go ahead, hit that little pink button. You know you want to.

Elizabeth Shore writes both contemporary and historical erotic romance. Her newest book is an erotic historical novella, Desire Rising, from The Wild Rose Press. Other releases include Hot Bayou Nights and The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires

 

 

Come Again … Eventually

17 Jan
anatomy-of-arousal

Sheri Winston taught me a thing or two about meditation. Click and get yourself some sexy science.

By Alexa Day

Things worth doing are worth doing slowly.

It’s one of the philosophies that gets me through life, but much of the real world is built for speed. We’re conditioned to work faster, eat faster, and move faster. Sadly, this need for speed has begun to stretch into the bedroom.

I sense resistance to this idea. No one wants to admit, even quietly to themselves, that they’re having sex too quickly. You’re raising your eyebrows at me.

And that’s fine. Let’s pretend for the moment that we’re talking about someone else.

Back in November, I wrote about Regena Thomashauer’s book, Pussy, in which she describes a Demonstration of Extended Massive Orgasm. In a live demonstration, the DEMO course features a one-hour female orgasm. Thomashauer describes the experience of being brought to extended orgasm by one of the class leaders, in front of a gathering of students.

My mind was blown.

I’ve been to sexual meditation before, a loosely guided journey out of the here and now and into the world of sensation that’s usually kicked under the rug of so-called real life. An eye mask pushed the outside world a little farther away, and I sat up after fifteen minutes feeling fully rested. Sexual meditation is a must for writers of erotic fiction, a practice that slides business and productivity concerns out of the way in favor of communion with the feelings and sensations of our characters.

Ready to grab your own? Click to buy.

Ready to grab your own? Click to buy.

Somewhere in the DEMO and sexual meditation between is Orgasmic Meditation, or OM. In OM, one participant (the stroker) strokes the clitoris of another participant (the strokee, naturally) for fifteen minutes. The practice is intended to create heightened connection between the participants and to bring about extended, deep sensations of pleasure.

The orgasm as we know it, that which we typically call a climax, isn’t really the point. Indeed, the strokee may not experience a climax. The practice of OM is focused on orgasm, a “goalless, intuitive, and dynamic” state. Orgasm isn’t something to achieve in OM. It’s heightened consciousness, sensation, awareness, and connection, and it starts as soon as stroking overtakes the flood of conscious thoughts. All this stroking is often performed in front of other people, too. I don’t know what’s up with all the observers, but it seems to be working for other people, so I’m not going to cry about it.

Nicole Daedone is the founder and CEO of OneTaste, the organization that teaches Orgasmic Meditation. She advised two first-time OM observers that the clitoris is home to ten loci of sensation, and that each locus feels different when stimulated.

Damn. That’s worth handling slowly, too.

It is no surprise that there’s resistance to a meditation practice focused so intensely on the female orgasm. The stroker, typically male, doesn’t even remove his clothing. Critics are quick to call it a cult or to jeer that the fifteen-minute journey into the state of orgasm is easily achieved by any woman with a sex toy.

That’s missing the point, I think. Although I do find it interesting that these critics almost uniformly recommend a sex toy and not a partner, as if they are aware that they lack the necessary patience, the necessary technique, or both.

Speaking as someone who recently experienced a sex toy intense enough to vibrate my dental work, I question whether a toy is the way to the state of orgasm achieved through OM. Because much of the point of OM is to take the strokee out of her own head, I also question whether the goal can be achieved with self-stimulation, which does require the sort of thought OM strives to avoid. My suspicion is that a great many people are threatened by any practice focused exclusively on the female orgasm to the exclusion of the male’s climax. I can see how that would be a problem. There’s so little in Western culture that addresses male sexual pleasure, right?

Now, doesn’t it seem like a good idea to slow down? Everything will still be here afterwards. And who knows how long it’ll take to traverse orgasm, now that we know it’s a state and not just an off-ramp?

Follow Lady Smut. We know how to keep it coming.

Alexa Day is the USA Today bestselling author of erotica and erotic romance with heroines who are anything but innocent. In her fictional worlds, strong, smart women discover excitement, adventure, and exceptional sex. A former bartender, one-time newspaper reporter, and licensed attorney, she likes her stories with just a touch of the inappropriate, and her literary mission is to stimulate the intellect and libido of her readers.

Join our Newsletter and Get FREE Stories All Year!

16 Jan

uzamr0jyqwi-les-andersonby G.G. Andrew 

I have some exciting news to share from the Lady Smut crew: we’re launching our newsletter! 

Starting January 21st, we’ll be sending out monthly newsletters with treats you”ll love. The newsletters will include links to our most popular posts, from robot sex to which Tv shows we can’t get enough of. There will be special profiles of our authors and sneak peeks at what they’re writing, which you won’t find on the blog. And, best of all, we’ll be offering FREE stories to our special subscriber list.

Because who doesn’t love free stories?

See the pink button at the top right of this page or go here to get these and other goodies delivered to your inbox all year.

Our free story sent in the January 21st newsletter will be Somewhere Warm, my short novella about a woman who falls for her best friend’s ex. It’s a snowbound, enemies-to-lovers tale, and a great read for a winter evening. It’s usually for sale for .99, but if you subscribe to our newsletter soon, you’ll have it in your hot little hands next weekend without paying a cent.

Here at Lady Smut, we not only know what we like, we know what you like. So subscribe and let us treat you each and every month with all things sexy and fun!

~

G.G. Andrew writes quirky romantic comedy. Sometimes it’s paranormal, sometimes it’s New Adult, sometimes it’s between two consenting adults in the real world who are arguing about grammar–but it always involves a lot of awkwardness and ill-advised kisses along the way. Her latest is the short story Girl Meets Grammarian, coming in February in the geek romance anthology Covalent Bonds from World Weaver Press.

Sexy Sunday Snippet

15 Jan

by Madeline Iva

Dear fantastic readers, Carlene Flores Love is here today with a sweet little excerpt from her book WICKED FLOWER.

wickedflower1m Here’s a blurb: 

Sin Pointe front man Stefan Calderon is playing a very dangerous game and his mom’s live-in caretaker, Dani Foster, just landed right smack in the middle of it.

Practically strangers when Stefan rolls into his small hometown looking to patch things up with Mom, his and Dani’s worlds collide with a hot and intense hook up. He knows right away this woman will make the perfect partner for his two weeks in town. But when she realizes whose son he is, and what he’s there to do, sexy times come to an abrupt halt.

That is until they come up with a solution. Rules. Every game needs them. The question isn’t if they’ll break them, but when and how hard.  It’s a wickedly delicious game, one neither of them intends to lose.

Excerpt from WICKED FLOWER:

Was Stefan ready to listen? Way back, like all the way back in his mind, he wondered if maybe it was time to consider quitting the game. There was something about seeing her in there, protecting what was hers.

One thing he couldn’t do was stand out here all night. Rain soaked through his hair and began to do the same to his shirt.

He stepped up to her car, leaned in and tapped on her passenger side window but she clearly mouthed the word No.

Fine, he could be creative when he wanted something and felt bad for how he’d already treated her. He leaned closer and then wrote through the raindrops on the window with his finger, TALK.

Nothing.

He tried again. PLEASE.

Zilch.

His head dipped and he tried once more. If she didn’t go for this one, he was done. This didn’t mean anything to her and it shouldn’t mean anything to him.

Instead of using his finger to write, he leaned down, and then pressed a kiss to the glass. The rain felt nice on his dry lips. He probably looked foolish but luckily he didn’t care right now. He took a step back and waited. It took a few seconds, but the lock sounded with a pop. He tried the handle.

She’d let him in.

Exhilaration at the clear win spiked his pulse for a moment until he realized something.

They had to talk and he doubted Dani was going to like anything he had to say.

Carlene is a huge sweetie!

Carlene is such a sweetie! We absolutely lurv her–check out her book!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Carlene Love is a fan of the stars (especially Orion), music (especially Depeche Mode), and the ocean (especially at sunset). These inspire her intimate stories. If she could touch someone’s heart with writing the way others have for her, she’d say there never lived a luckier girl. She’d love to hear from readers so feel to drop her a line at her website.

 

Sexy Saturday Round Up

14 Jan

1-ssruHola friends! Time to turn away from the stresses you faced this week and turn towards the joy and fun that is Sexy Saturday Round Up.  Come and revel in the mystery and whackness that is our human sexual side.

From Madeline:

Cosmo interviews two kinksters and declares: Golden Showers Are A Thing.

Making those Valentine’s Day plans? Not so fast! Did you know you actually have a chance to be Idris Elba’s date on V-Day?

If the spanko world has a celebrity, Erica Scott is it.

Like TED Talks? Here’s one talk by Sofia Jawed-Wessel called: “Women’s Sexual Pleasure–What Are We So Afraid Of?” In it she explores her own research on women’s sexuality while pregnant.

This study challenges the idea that one of the side effects of the pill is that it can make women depressed.

Well, here’s one bit of good news for women this past year — in 2016 TV and film, women’s sexuality was displayed in complex and nuanced ways.

From Thien-Kim:

Even presidents can write erotica–and it’s super hot.

A geeky boudoir photo shoot for men? My Spidey senses aren’t the only things tingling.

Another reason why drinking coffee is good for us, er, him.

Brrr, it’s cold this weekend. How about some free hot reads to keep you warm?

Science has come a long way when it comes to women’s bodies. Thank goodness.

Turned on by wires & circuits? Intrigued by the opportunity to pre-program your experience? Robot fetish 101

13 Jan

By Isabelle Drake

Want to get busy with a techno man?  Interested in androids? Love the AMC show Humans?

If you are a Duran, Duran fan, or remember the old school video to Electric Barbarella, the sexy robot thing is nothing new to you.

Here’s something that might be new. Robot fetishism, considered part of technosexuality, is divided into two usually separate fantasies:

  • Sex with a person dressed in a robot costume, a person acting like a robot, or sex with pre-made sex android robot.
  • Sex with person who has been willingly or unwillingly transformed into a robot or being transformed into a robot oneself and subsequently having sex. The transformation is of key interest in this fantasy.

Both of these interests stem from the uncanniness of the android.

Ernst Jentsch, credited with being the first to identify the state of the uncanny in a 1906 essay, “On the Psychology of the Uncanny,” defines the state as a person’s “doubts whether an apparently animate being is really alive; or conversely, whether a lifeless object might be, in fact, animate.” He was quick to note that awareness and understanding of such a state is important to a fiction writer. “In telling a story one of the most successful devices for easily creating uncanny effects is to leave the reader in uncertainty whether a particular figure in the story is a human being or an automaton and to do it in such a way that his attention is not focused directly upon his uncertainty, so that he may not be led to go into the matter and clear it up immediately.”

In the show, Humans, Anita confesses her love for Ed the scene is both compelling and disturbing. According to Sigmund Freud the basis for this reaction in the uncanny.

In his essay, “The Uncanny” Freud expanded this concept of the uncanny state being linked to the relationship between the animate and the innate. Additionally, he examined concepts of human development in regard to maturation as having a key relationship to a person’s perception of what is uncanny. For example, in childhood humans enjoy repetition. This appreciation begins before the child is old enough to desire, or even understand, control. As the child matures, and begins to understand the advantage of control and thus desires it, the child takes less pleasure in repetition.

Therefore, continued, undesired, and uncontrollable repetition is disturbing because it represents a lack of control and thus regression and is therefore potentially alarming. Freud asserted that the state of the uncanny is linked to the subconscious in additional way. He stated that a person experiences something as uncanny because it reminds the individual of the conflict between their repressed desires, desires which the individual presumably struggles to control, and feared punishment for deviating from societal norms.

Tell us what you think in the comments. Are human-like robots sexy or scary? Want to get busy with an android?7818008_f260

And – follow us here at Lady Smut. We’re always here to inform, entertain, and keep you up to date.

Isabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, urban fantasy, and young adult thrillers. She’s also working on her own sexy android erotica.

Tough Talking Princess in a Tiny Package: Princess Leia We’ll Miss You

12 Jan

635858723393663304-e-fisher-vadergraf-22-3461259by Madeline Iva

There’s nothing like Carrie Fisher’s death to make one ponder Princess Leia afresh.  Carrie Fisher was many things–and I especially appreciate how she single-handedly brought bi-polar disorder out of the shadows and broke that taboo.  I also appreciated her book POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE because she had a wonderful sense of humor.  But her death causes me to ponder her alter-ego icon Princess Leia in a way I never have before.

Princess Leia was a tough talking princess in a tiny package.  She had a gun in her hand – but she was one of the good guys.

star-wars-a-new-hope-sliceThis was so massive at the time.  There’s so much she wasn’t in terms of negative female stereotypes. She wasn’t the manic pixie girl (a type I love btw).  She wasn’t the transgressive bad girl (I love this type too) or a femme fatale (ditto).  I mean, as a little girl, you want options, right? Princess Leia provided another pathway for how to be strong, active, and yet…not an outsider.

Yeah, she's gonna take charge. You gotta problem with that?

Yeah, she’s gonna take charge. You gotta problem with that?

She’s wasn’t afraid, or weak, she wasn’t a scream-y victim, a bimbo, or a slutty-McSlutty (by which I mean: those roles in which the character wants to be sexually objectified by others and is possitively insulted if she’s not seen as an object of sexual consumption).  She’s definitely not the reverse stereotype of the time: the amazon-wanna-be-a-man freak.  Not that there’s anything wrong with Amazons–(I’m looking at you Zena) but this was yet another old blicky stereotype where a woman of action is presented as ‘the other’.

I used to ponder Princess Leia’s particular brand of femininity whenever I happened to encounter her image – Ultimately, I’d say she had a 1930’s kind of femininity, comprised of half wise-cracking dame talk and half small, delicate features.

Can't you just see her in a 30's film with that hair and face?

Can’t you just see her in a 30’s film with that hair and face?

I very much appreciated that she was not overtly sexualized…well, not in the first Star Wars movie. Or even the second, though the whole love interest thing ramped up with Han Solo and they suddenly got all kissy face.

I have this postcard on my desk at home...

I have this postcard on my desk at home…

(But remember the kiss with Luke before that happens? Ugh! Did Lucas *know* then that Leia and Luke were twins? What was he thinking?)

In movie number 3 they went there. Sigh.  Yet note that it seemed to have this *profound* effect on the sexual awakening of an entire generation of pubescent boys…Her princess-slave costume seemed to send out shock-waves of yearning in the hearts of aching teenagers in a way that other bikini fodder babes at the time didn’t. Why? Was it because they saw Princess Leia as a person first, instead of as a sex object? (I hope so.)

Carrie Fisher, cocaine thin. At least she got to kill the slug herself.

Carrie Fisher, cocaine thin. At least she got to kill the slug herself.

I included a You Tube link to my favorite part of the movie below.  These days my niece and her friends fight over who gets to be Princess Leia.  I never wanted to pretend I was princess Leia.  I think I was a little too old by the time I saw the first movie to play pretend anymore.  However, I wished like mad that I could get away with wearing the cinnamon buns on my head at school.

Please can cinnamon buns come back in style? Pleeeeeeease?

Please can cinnamon buns come back in style? Pleeeeeeease?

I think the reason behind why the girls fight is because real problem is that there is only one Princess Leia, but many male roles.

Hopefully in this galaxy right here and not too long from now, we’ll have a massively important and successful sff film in which the next most awesome Princess Leia will come with a host of fellow kick-ass female buddies.  She won’t  be the token girl in the boy gang.  I very much appreciated that she was not just the princess but also big honcho in power and was the one handing out medals at the end, instead of sitting on the side lines.  But I hope in the next Big Movie (any screenwriters out there listening?) the Princess Leia 2.0 is handing out the medals for intrepid daring-do, to some women and not just the guys.

 

wickedapprenticefinal-fjm_high_res_1800x2700

May the force be with you all–and follow us at Lady Smut!

Madeline Iva writes fantasy and paranormal romance.  Her fantasy romance, WICKED APPRENTICE, featuring a magic geek heroine, is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and through iTunes.  Sign up for Madeline Iva news & give aways.

Big Brother Censoring You

11 Jan

Don’t look, it’s not good for you

By Elizabeth Shore

Isn’t it nice that nowadays porn viewing can be simple and discreet? No need to truck on down to a seedy video store and rent tapes while ignoring the cashier’s smirking face. Or, worse yet, slink into some stained-filled booth and watch videos in semi-public. With the age of the internet, it’s a piece of cake! One’s porn viewing can be done in the privacy of home. Just launch your browser and go to town. Oh, wait. Maybe not if you live in South Carolina.

Palmetto-state dwellers can watch porn on their computers, too, but if a certain legislator has his way, that might change. Residents will still be able to do it – as long as they pay for permission. State Rep Bill Chumley (R) has put forth a bill that would require all new computers sold in the state to come pre-installed with porn-blocking software. Don’t want it, you say? You like watching naked people online? Good news – that pesky software can be removed as long as you ante-up a $20 fee.

Admittedly, $20 bucks isn’t much, and the money would go toward the state attorney general’s efforts toward anti-sex trafficking. Rep Chumley, who says this is an issue he’s “pretty passionate about,” says the blocker would prevent kids from accessing obscene material or from being exploited themselves (just how that would work Rep Chumley hasn’t elaborated on, but it sounds good). So, in other words, Chumley’s “pretty passionate” about state-sponsored censorship.

This all might sound like a whole lotta public shaming, but South Carolina’s not alone in their war against porn. In April last year, Utah officially declared porn a “public health crisis” by passing a resolution declaring that porn is “evil, degrading, addictive, and harmful” and hoping the resolution will work to unite communities in trying to stop it. After all, if it’s a public health crisis, like obesity, for example, than surely it must be costing communities tons o’ money in lost revenue, right? Except that studies are conflicted as to whether viewing pornography – even at a young age – has a detrimental physical or psychological effect, and therefore it’s unclear what “public health costs” pornography brings about. Details!

Aside from the legislation publically shaming new computer buyers into having to admit they want their porn, the whole issue of free speech comes into play. Isn’t blocking an expression of something equivalent to blocking the right to express it? Courts in the past have struck down proposed laws to block porn, citing First Amendment rights, but South Carolina’s Chumley says  the concern isn’t based on morality or free speech. It’s corrupting people! That’s why it must be blocked.

Exactly what will come of this legislation, if anything, remains to be seen. Nowadays porn is everywhere and filters or not, getting it for free is as easy as a couple clicks of the mouse. According to an article in The Washington Post, porn trafficking website Pornhub had one of its biggest years ever in 2015, so the appetite for porn has only increased. But that seems to be the very reason congressmen (and yes, it’s men behind the legislation), are passionate about starting conversations around the evil ills of porn – because it is indeed so ubiquitous.

Public health hazard? Evil ill of society? Cool thing that millions want? The debate against porn rages on, which is exactly what legislators say is the aim of their resolution: to get people talking about porn.

So…do you like a little government with your porn? Does the South Carolina porn blocking resolution make sense? Sound off in the comments below, and be sure to follow us at Lady Smut, where we’ve always got ways to get people talking.

Sex Robot Anxiety: Alexa, Why Can’t We Have Nice Things?

10 Jan
I still think we'll all eventually have our own robot gunslingers. We just need to be very careful with them.

I still think we’ll all eventually have our own robot gunslingers. We just need to be very careful with them.

By Alexa Day

Am I obsessed with sex robots? I’m not sure obsessed is the right word. I prefer enthusiastic. I’m enthusiastic about sex robots.

And I really think we’re close to making sex robots a reality. I mean, we have most of the component parts out here right now.

For the first time, I’m a little worried about that.

Before I get to my concerns about the future, let’s have a quick look at where we are now.

Until recently, the reality of the sex robot was sufficient to dampen my enthusiasm (and not in a good way — heyo!). The real sex robots, predominantly women for male consumers, honestly didn’t look all that good. I don’t mean that they didn’t look hot. I mean that they didn’t look human. The average mannequin was a more attractive partner.

Sinthetics is changing the game. Elizabeth Shore wrote about them last month. They’re featured in a Vice Video, where the host Karley Sciortino commissions a sex doll named Gabriel with a sculpted body, blue eyes, and an erection that won’t quit until Karley wants it to. Gabriel was made by sex-positive people with a real eye for detail. You can see the veins in his arms. He has body hair. Thanks to Sinthetics, male sex dolls look pretty damned good.
(If you skipped the video last month, you missed out big time. Gabriel’s not shy about full frontal. Seriously.)

As hot as the modern male sex doll is, what separates him from the sex robot we’ve been talking about is a brain. We need him to understand what we’re saying, what we mean by what we’re saying, and what we might want later.
So where is our fabulous sex doll going to find a brain?

Ask Alexa. Not me. The other Alexa.

Amazon’s Echo Dot connects users to the Alexa Voice Service, a powerful artificial intelligence that recognizes and responds to a multitude of commands. Alexa knows your morning commute. She can read you the headlines. She’ll adjust the temperature in the living room. And the best part is that Alexa is learning as she goes. Amazon promises that the Echo Dot is adapting to its user’s “speech patterns, vocabulary, and personal preferences.” The more you ask of Alexa, the more she learns about you.

You don’t have to be terribly pervy to see the possibilities here (but it helps, I think). Alexa’s brain in Gabriel’s body seems like a fantastic idea, right? Aren’t you excited about the chance to educate your new friend?

Slow down, neighbors. Didn’t you read Frankenstein? That sounded like a fantastic idea at one point, too, but that snowball went downhill very, very quickly. We all have a lot to deal with right now, between smashing the patriarchy, protecting reproductive rights, maintaining our Netflix queues, and things of that nature. We won’t have time to chase a suddenly willful Gabriel all over creation, and we don’t know how quickly his hungry brain learns things. So we need to anticipate a couple of problems now.

We have an advantage over the Echo Dot in that we can move independently and it can’t. We could put the Dot into the underwear drawer if it starts getting a little ahead of itself. There’s a limit to how much it can do if it becomes disenchanted with its servile role in the household. Our robot friend isn’t going to be like that. I’m thinking about the Synths in the AMC show Humans. The Synths think independently enough to have secrets. It’s a big jump from following orders to keeping secrets, sure, but all a robot has to know in order to keep a secret is that knowing the truth will displease its owner. The sex robot’s job is to make you happy. How long do you think it would take our robot’s new brain to figure out that you would be better off not knowing the whole truth about something? It might start off innocently enough — one well executed surprise would teach our robot that withholding the truth sometimes pleases you. But once we’re not in complete control of disclosure, problems are going to arise.

The other problem is, well, people. Other people.

We aren’t out to take advantage of the sex robot, of course. To the extent a robot consents to sex, we’ll only be engaged in consensual activity. This is more about partner availability, the ability to have sex without having to make an effort to find an attractive partner whose presence we can tolerate. We are not awful people. We’re just about convenience and efficiency.

But awful people exist.

If you really want to be depressed by all of this, check out the brief documentary My Sex Robot. Along with all the rudimentary robots, you’ll find a host of men who will cheerfully tell you that the best part of having a sex robot is that she can’t say no. It’s kind of disturbing.

Is it possible to rape a sex robot? If it has a brain like the one we’re talking about, then I think the answer is yes. At the very least, the question invites discussion. Ideally, that discussion involves our new robot friend.

Damn. All I wanted was a robotic sex partner. Now that he sounds expensive and complicated, I might be forced to re-evaluate things.

And I will.

I promise.

Someday.

Are we moving too fast? Am I worrying about the wrong things? Let’s consider it in the comments.

And follow Lady Smut. We’ll get you all the nicest stuff.

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