As an erotic romance writer, I’ve thought a lot about oral sex. Personally, I’m not squeamish about it at all. Neither are my characters in my current projects. But I do know people who are very squeamish and will not do it or let it be done to them. Now, as a ER author, I wonder if they are actually MY readers. But, just in case they are, and because I like to keep my readers in mind if not when I’m writing, then I definitely do when I’m editing, I have to keep the squeamish and the ambivalent in mind.
We Lady Smut writers sometimes email one another about these very matters. The subject line might read: Should the first sex scene be a blow job or should I ease into that? (God forbid if anybody should get a hold of our emails.)
In my current work-in-progress, CRAVINGS, my main female lead, Sasha, likes oral sex and really likes this guy she’s met. So the tension is building in the story and I find that she is on her knees in front of him and gives him a mind-blowing experience, so to speak.
Over the next few days, I reconsidered. Would this REALLY be their first sexual experience together? Or would my main male character step back, being the hawt gentlemen that he is and say, “Wait. You first.”
Hmmm. I think that is more in keeping with Sanj’s personality. So I changed the scene. Oh yes. I did.
And I have to say I think that since many readers of erotic romance are women, maybe they’d prefer this romantic gesture as well. After all the romance is an important element—even in erotic romance, right? It’s one of the things that separate us from pure erotica, right?
In reading BEYOND SHAME, I thought the first sex scene was hot and very well-written. But I have to admit that I was shocked that Lex ( a female character in the book) felt that this was where she got her “secret power” from—though I think that my Sasha would agree to a certain extent. She acknowledges the power she feels when she’s has a man in her mouth.
Here in Sasha’s own “words” is how she feels:
“… And she enjoyed knowing the way a man felt on her tongue, her teeth, and even on the back of her throat. When she took a man in her mouth, she held his very essence. The sense of power thrilled her.”
But the power she’s feeling is much different than what Lex in BEYOND SHAME is wielding. Sasha’s is more a power-of-the-moment, oh look what kind of pleasure I can give you, yum-yum, kind of thing.
So what do you think, reader? Should oral sex be the first sex in a book? Does it matter to you when you’re reading it?