What Men Think of Erotic Romance

3 Jan

Do you wonder what men think of erotic romance?  Sure, maybe they sneer at straight romance as being far too emotionally gooey, but Elizabeth Shore has discussed couples who read together on our blog, and this made all of us at Lady Smut wonder: given that men DO like to read erotic romance with women to get everyone in the mood, would men enjoy reading erotic romance on their own?

Author Cassandra Carr says: Men know if they can manage to engage our brains the sex will be better too.

Author Cassandra Carr says: Men know if they can manage to engage our brains the sex will be better too.

So we at Lady Smut decided to perform an experiment.  We asked three guys who were willing to read some erotic romance to give us some feedback.  Do they find these stories arousing? What do they think of this new concept of erotic romance for men?

We found a Mr. X, a Mr. Y, and a Mr. Z  who were willing to read some erotic romance by women and some erotic romance written by women but specifically written for men.  Then we asked them what they thought.  All are very well-educated, sophisticated men—and their replies were surprisingly blunt.  Here are some of their thoughts on the subject:

LADY SMUT:  Mr. X, let’s start with you. You found that you don’t really like erotic romance—not even the stuff for men?

MR X:  Some men might. I’m into hardcore nonfiction and literary fiction when I read. I’m looking for work that will make me feel invested in the characters and situations.

LADY SMUT: What do you think of the elements in erotic romance for men that seemed specifically aimed at men?  For instance, is there a focus on big breasts and things being mightily shaved in lady land?  Was this arousing?

MR X: I admit that these bits were arousing, but look, large breasts and a shaved hoo-haa aren’t the only things that arouse men.

LADY SMUT: Mr. Z, we hear you thought that some parts of the erotic romance stories you read were pretty hot?

MR Z: True.  But overall the writing came across like what women imagine guys would like. For instance, in one story a woman shows up on a first date with a gigantic suitcase full of sex toys.  Would a woman really do this on a first date? To me it seems more like what a prostitute would do.

switch me up

Author Cristal Ryder writes: I’ve had men email me about my story. It’s based on someone’s experience – although very *highly* embellished LOL

LADY SMUT:  In one particular story a dildo came out.  What was your reaction?

MR Z: Would a straight guy want a dildo anywhere near his ass? No way, no how.

LADY SMUT: We also heard that you noticed a lot of references to how hard the guy’s cock is.

MR Z: As if that’s the uppermost thought in any guy’s mind. After awhile my feeling was, “OK. I get it. Your dick’s hard. Let’s move on.”

LADY SMUT: Meanwhile, the woman in the story wants to go on and on pleasing her lover. We heard that you had a strong reaction to this element as well.

MR. Z:  In a guy’s mind if the woman still needs more then he hasn’t “conquered” her. Men view the world as a battlefield. It’s all about conquering.

Lady Smut needs to point out here that Mr. Z grew up in a foreign country and while we wanted to report his honest answers, his take on women needing to be conquered made our eyes open up wide in shock.

MR. Z: If you’ve still got the woman wanting more sex right after they finish, then she hasn’t been conquered and you have to keep going. What a guy really thinks is that he’s conquered this chick. Give him a half hour and bring in the next one for him to conquer as well.


We have to interject here because it’s interesting to think about Mr. Z’s reactions.  Lady Smut has heard other men—some who were also foreign, but not all—relate the same idea of “conquering” the women so that the women is completely sated.  Phrasing aside, being sated to the point that you don’t want to even move or talk after sex is certainly a great sensation.  Point noted, Mr. Z.

Meanwhile, as far as dildos and men go—Lady Smut has noticed increasing cultural references to men vis-a-vis dildos over the years.  Not only in major men’s magazines, and on TV (there’s a “first date” scene in the television WEEDS that totally plays on a dildo-for-the-man scenario.  Granted, it’s done for maximal grotesque comedic effect.) But Lady Smut has also heard stories from people at parties relating their experiences with doing this (“It was his birthday and he wanted me to, so I did.”) And of course, Lady Smut has even read of this scenario in erotic romance–Jasmine Haynes work, for instance, comes to mind.   One wouldn’t want to suggest it’s common place, but it probably happens more than one would think.

Lea Barrymire: If you can seduce a woman with words--the whispered promise of a great experience--you've got them hooked.

Lea Barrymire: If you can seduce a woman with words–the whispered promise of a great experience–you’ve got them hooked.

LADY SMUT: Mr. Y, obviously your significant other is into romance.  What part of her interests in romance do you share?

MR. Y: I share her interest in people finding their perfect mate and the tension that comes from that kind of stuff.

LADY SMUT: What’s sexy to you? Give us your top five.

MR. Y:  1) strong women

2) f/m/f threesomes

3) historical romances


MR. Y: Because they tend to be better written.

4) humor – and by that I mean a heroine who can laugh at herself

5) f/f sex scenes

I also like the men not to be too overbearing.  You know, that I haven’t found so much in reading women’s romances. The guys are real dicks.

LADY SMUT: Obviously an erotic romance line for men–like EC for MEN–is not going to be Penthouse Forum.   Do you think that the idea of erotic romance for men is a good one? If so why? What kinds of erotic romances would you like to see written for men?

MR. Y: I think it’s a good idea. You can focus on some of the things that are a little too obviously aimed at women.  Like the men taking complete care of the women and the male being overbearing, dominating jerks.

Male erotic romance can focus on scenes that you don’t find in most romances for women – like f/f/m stuff.  There’s a lot of m/f/m stuff—way more than f/f/m.

LADY SMUT: What kind of endings work for you?  Is ending with sexual gratification enough? Are you looking for HFN (Happily For Now) or are you seeking a stronger connection between the characters in the story?

MR. Y: It would depend on the length of the story, I guess.  I think all three endings–sexually gratified, HFN, HEA– could be satisfying.  Shorter stories are fine with being just sexual, but I’d want a HEA with a longer story.

LADY SMUT: Bonus question: It’s a whole new world out there for men in terms of masculinity, being open about feelings, and basically just “how to be a man”.  Do you think men need the same kind of emotional outlet for sex, romance, and feelings that women have with romance novels?

MR. Y: Yes.  For most men, their female partner is where they find that emotional outlet and they store all their intimate feelings with her.

LADY SMUT: Are there outlets for men that already exist?

MR. Y: Not as much.  Of course a lot of stories already do have romance in them – an element of romance at least.  Most thrillers have an element of romance.

LADY SMUT: Give us an example.

MR. Y: An example would be the Bourne Identity. There’s almost always an element of sexual tension in most detective stories.  But they aren’t always dealing with intimate emotional elements.

So there you have it, ladies!  Wondering what your man would think of erotic romance written for men? Try your own experiment…click on the photos in this post to link to these EC for MEN stories. Let us know how your experiment goes. ;>

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