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Posted in News
January 25, 2013

All Choked Up About Taboo

Choking

When actor David Carradine died back in 2009, there was speculation aplenty that it was the result of “erotic asphyxiation.” In other words, getting off by getting choked. Never having practiced that form of kink, I did a little reading up on it. Apparently, from what I’ve been able to learn, cutting off the oxygen supply just before orgasm and then releasing the choke as your lover comes, heightens the orgasm by the resulting sudden rush of air combined with the natural rush of endorphins that we all get when having le petit mort, as the French so French-ily call an orgasm.

All of that sounds OK in theory, but I don’t see it written about much in erotic romances and as these things go, it got me thinking. Why? How come fetishes in general, as Rodney Dangerfield might say, “don’t get no respect” in erotic romances?

The expansion in the field of erotic romance has included group sex, vampire sex, other worldly sex, homosexual sex, and BDSM, but what about real “kink” stuff? People who like having sex with toy dolls, for example? I saw a show once in which a couple shared the experience of having sex with each other and their blow-up doll. It was, as I recall, a rather expensive doll and very realistic looking. The girl of the couple fondled the doll’s “breasts” while her lover made love to the doll. Now, I’m all for different strokes (ha!) for different folks, and isn’t that shared experience – odd for some, perhaps, but it worked for the couple – not something that should be incorporated into erotic romance? Or is, really, just a little too weird?

I’m wondering, too, if a hero who’s aroused by things that are definitely not in the mainstream viewed as not being heroic enough? Not manly enough? If a hot guy really likes wearing women’s underpants does it make him less hot and therefore less desireable as a hero? Does he dive from delectable to detestable in a not-so-hot nanosecond?

We’re always hearing in the corporate world about “thinking outside of the box.” So how about thinking outside the romance box? There are plenty of authors who’ve done it, and done it well. I think it’s why the genre continues to thrive today just as it did 30 years ago – because it changes with the times, adapts to readers wants and needs, and leaves us panting for more. But my question is, how much more? How far is too far? When does taboo become no longer sexy?

Questions to ponder over the weekend. And speaking of that, have a great one!

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