Gettin’ Off In The Office

30 Jan

Office GuyLike many corporate slugs, I spend a lot of time in an office. I mean, like gross mega-maniacal amounts of time sitting in my chair, in front of my computer, doing sometimes seemingly pointless work. I’d venture to say that many folks feel imprisoned in the office and dream of better days spent lounging on a beach chair just listening to the waves. Alas, life calls, and there are bills, and so we keep coming back whether we want to or not. But there are some folks who’ve managed to spice up their bland corporate existences and, dare I say, even have some fun. I refer, of course, to the ol’ office romance.

 Throw two people together who wouldn’t otherwise necessarily have anything in common, get them working together for long periods of time and you’ve got the perfect recipe for office lust. Office Joe begins realizing that Sue over in billing is suddenly starting to look hot. Now, if Office Joe were to see Sue on the street, she wouldn’t necessarily cause a rise in Joe’s Levi’s. But when he sees her in the office day in and day out, and his mind grows numb with the work he’s been hired to do, a fling with Sue seems like the perfect cure for what ails him. In my day job I have access to a lot of confidential information, and it’s interesting to see what some people do at work besides working. Texting, sexting, flirting over e-mails, long “lunches” away, a quick feel in the closet, a romp on the desk, on and on and on. A 2011 CareerBuilder survey revealed 38% of respondents said they’ve dated a colleague. Other surveys put the number even higher. But other than the mere fact that you’re spending a lot of time with someone, what’s the appeal? Where are there so many trysts? What’s so darn fun about having sex in the office?

 I’m thinking that for starters, there’s a multitude of places in which to do the deed. Your office, their office, conference room, closet, bathroom, breakroom . . . a plethora of options! But I also think that part of the appeal of office romances is the illicitness of it all. You have sex in the boardroom with a colleague, and the next day you and he are sitting together in that same boardroom in a meeting, stealing glances at each other as you remember what happened a mere few hours ago. It’s yours and his dirty, juicy little secret.

 The problem with office romances is that often, inevitably, they end, and you and your now ex are still expected to work together. There’ve been situations in which former office lovers turn into office enemies and it can be career suicide if someone decides to get nasty. But as you’re flirting with that hot guy in marketing, you’re not thinking about how things will end just as you’re focusing on getting them started.

I’ve never had an office romance myself, but I’d love to hear about experiences from others and whether the risk was worth the reward.

3 Responses to “Gettin’ Off In The Office”

  1. Liz Everly January 30, 2013 at 10:55 am #

    I worked in offices for years and while there were romances going on, I never saw evidence (or heard of) actual sex going on in closets and so on. I ran into an old BF of mine from college and he said that was the thing that disappointed him the most–that there was no sex going on IN the office. 😉


    • madelineiva January 30, 2013 at 11:03 am #

      I’m sure the cleaning people were happy about that. 😉

      I wonder how much office flings happen because people are just people and are going to do it where ever/when ever OR if the repression in most office situations causes these grunty passions to build up and then burst out from time to time. I mean, do you think people are surprised that they just suddenly, madly, had to have their way with martha/donald?

      After all, back in the 70’s there was a MASSIVE amount of sexual harassment going on — men weren’t really holding back much of their sex drive at all. Chasing the secretary around the desk was considered a hoot.


  2. madelineiva January 30, 2013 at 10:35 am #

    I think what gets people hot n heavy at the office is how intimately you get to know some one. Working relentlessly on a project means you just can’t keep up a facade in front of others. In a way they really get to know you–and they really see you. That can be quite sexy.

    There’s also the common goal sharing on a project and that subverted aggression thing. “You killed it.” “You nailed it.” “We crushed it.” etc. Take an office hunk with pumped up biceps, put him in a tie, and have him all worked up from the thrill of your common victory, where he’s feeling intense, and you’re feeling intense…OF COURSE you’ll want to rip his pants down and fire one off on the copy machine.


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