I’m a Little Gay For Nigella Lawson
Hey readers–have you watched this The-Voice-meets-Master-Chef show called The Taste? It’s over now, but you can catch all the episodes here. The primary reason I watched was because I’m a huge fan of Nigella Lawson. She is the perfect romance heroine, in my mind. Really gorgeous, British, and she’s super into comfort food.
Her figure is whack. Naturally slender arms and legs, total hourglass. Very large breasted. It’s a classic va-va-voom figure and it’s a figure that’s gotten larger, and shrunk again. To me, she’s a very glamorous woman with a great body. She even has crazy large ears she hides under all that hair.
I first went swooney over her cookbooks, and and of course, a million college guys sat drooling over her cooking show. While their eyes glazed over with lust, and they contemplated their sudden mother/older-woman fixation, Nigella would make some slathered and luscious yet uncomplicated dessert that required just the right amount of finger licking before it was finished. Always sexy, in her earth-goddess way, but never cheap–that’s what I like about Nigella.
She’s also got that classic romance heroine arc going on in her life. After a privileged youth, she suffered tragedy with the illness and death of her first husband. She’s overcome all that, and she’s risen as well above the bullying she’d gotten from the cooking world and British tabloids about her weight gain. (Gordon Ramsay was particularly nasty on his show The F Word about her weight.)
She older now, too, and I fear for what kind of chemical-frankenstein-hollywood terror she could be putting face and body through to try and match up to her youth. I actually like the way her body looks now. It’s more real, and just as amazing to my mind. I enjoyed seeing who she was on the show–how she was up front about what she liked and why. We got to see her question her own strategy and try to find a way to gracefully handle the decimation of her team.
I also liked Ludo, the French Chef they had on the show. He was the outsider, with an accent as thick as beurre blanc. Ludo has the supreme Gallic charm and flirty sexuality–but you can see he’s taking the playing right to the edge, and that in his eyes he’s a split second away from letting go. He also has the Gallic temper that comes out of now where like a flash flood. His fury cracks over the head of his team, and then just as quickly goes away again. His team was almost unbeatable in the challenges. When he helped–they were supreme.
He and Nigella were the show for me. However, if I had to choose which one I had to sleep with–as tempting as Ludo is–I’d have go with Nigella. That’s just the way it is. She turns straight women gay.
Anthony Bourdain meanwhile,–eh. I mean, I think I came away liking him better than I did before I watched the show. I’d always thought him rather arrogant before. He’s a little too real for me. The New Jersey guy with his sack of issues. Whereas I find something inspirational about Ludo and Nigella. The greatness of the show was that you got to see some seriously gorgeous people who were very passionate about food. For them, the taste of great food was sex in their mouths.
Speaking of people who are passionately aroused by food — have you checked out Liz Everly’s book Saffron Nights? It’s on sale right now for $1.99 online at Barnes & Nobel. Check it out here.