Three’s Not A Crowd


Menage-a-TroisLike many writers, I belong to a critique group. We met last night and one of the writers happened to have brought in some pages for us to critique that included a very graphic ménage-à-trois scene. We all listened carefully and made notes for comment, but one of the ladies in the group summed it up well at the end. When the writer finished reading her scene, our fellow member said only, “Wow.”

It’s no secret that many male fantasies include either watching women-on-women “lesbian” sex or being able to participate in a ménage-à-trois, with only one y chromosome in the bunch. But three way sex isn’t just for the guys. Take a look at the hot sellers of any erotic romance publisher and you’ll see a good number of them include three-way sex, but as we girls like it – with two of the guys and only of of us.

It’s interesting to me that ménage is such a fantasy for women because it seems to go against how I often hear women describe themselves. We’re not the ones with the commitment issues; it’s the guys. We women want to find our one true love and, just like two turtle doves, mate for life. We sing the choir fidelity. So what gives with fantasizing about a three way?

Part of the answer, I think, it’s the fact that it is just a fantasy. I certainly don’t know a woman who lives and loves equally with a guy and another woman, and I don’t even know anyone who’s been in a three-way sexual relationship just for fun. So all that hot ménage sex only seems to be happening in our minds and in our erotic romance where it’s all just as safe as can be.

The “bad girl” element also comes into play when considering the attraction of three-way sex. It would definitely be a little bit naughty, wouldn’t it, to have sex with a girl and a guy at the same time? We’re often turned on by bad boys; maybe we secretly crave wanting to be a bad girl. Fueling the fantasy as a bad girl would definitely be having “bad girl” sex, meaning a good ol’ fashioned three-way romp.

Depending on one’s fantasy, a girl’s three-way sex may also include having her two hunks goin’ down on each other just as lustily as they go down on her. Oooooh, now we’re really being naughty! The m/f/f erotic romances I’ve read always have the characters being fully bi-sexual, which does lend itself to a variety of options in the bedroom if it’s a no-holds barred kinda relationship.

It’s easy enough to speculate on why women may have ménage-à-trois fantasies but in the end, who really cares what the reason is? Like all turn ons, it’s no single factor that makes us blaze with lust for one thing and roll eyes at another. As long as the fantasies don’t hurt anyone, I say the more the merrier. 🙂

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14 Comments

  • Suzie
    March 20, 2013 at 2:37 am

    I love a good m/f/m romance, though it’s still got to have a good story premise for me to be interested. I like the naughtiness that goes with a three-way, but need to connect with the characters on some level for it to truly entertain me. Some books are all about the sex and almost no story, but if that’s all I wanted I’d just rent a video. When an author can write strongly for both elements I’m a happy reader. Doesn’t matter if three-ways aren’t common in the real world. A good story can make you believe they are and enjoy every minute of it!

    • Elizabeth Shore
      March 20, 2013 at 12:12 pm

      I agree with you completely, Suzie. The naughtiness is fun, but not if there’s no connection with the characters.Thanks for stopping by!

  • madelineiva
    March 20, 2013 at 5:57 am

    Is it just a fantasy? I think I read in a survey summary about polyamorous relationships that a one woman and two men “triad” was the most common among the people interviewed. ;>

    • Elizabeth Shore
      March 20, 2013 at 12:15 pm

      Interesting! Certainly there are the more adventurous among us but I do think it’s a fantasy for many and it may explain the popularity of those particular erotic romances.

  • cmkempe
    March 20, 2013 at 8:50 am

    Heh, just sent off my latest ménage novella to my publisher last night. Fun! More of what you enjoy — who’d say no to that?

    • Elizabeth Shore
      March 20, 2013 at 12:15 pm

      Exactly! 🙂

  • ellaquinnauthor
    March 20, 2013 at 11:47 am

    Tweeted.

    • Elizabeth Shore
      March 20, 2013 at 12:15 pm

      Thanks so much, Ella!!

  • LizEverly
    March 20, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    To inject a note of reality into the fantasy, I think it would be very hard to find two guys willing to share a woman in bed. I’ve mentioned it to some of my male friends–and they felt like they didn’t like the thought being naked around another man at all. 😉

    • Elizabeth Shore
      March 20, 2013 at 4:29 pm

      I’ve heard that, too. I’ve asked some male friends about it and the response has been universal – they’re not getting naked with dudes!

  • cmkempe
    March 20, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    You need a bi-guy…

    • Elizabeth Shore
      March 21, 2013 at 5:05 pm

      Yes, I think that would certainly resolve any objections!

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