Because I recently finished writing M/M/M ménage I suppose it was inevitable to have permutations of penises in my head, but somehow outside my head there does seem to be an explosion (d’oh!) of strange penis-related stories about just now.
Or maybe they’re always there and I’m just noticing them more at the moment. If you know anyone in the health care industry, doubtless you’ve got more stories of the ribald and racy kind. My friend [name redacted]’s husband has delighted in showing us X-rays of the things he’s had to pry out of people. “Guess what happened today?” he says with eager glee and whips out his phone to show us. It can be anything: “Look, staple gun accident!” or “This started as a bet.” He always takes before, during and after photos.
I don’t know if the epic Mumsnet “Penis Beaker” story has made it across the pond yet, but it’s certainly entertained a lot if people, whose reactions range from horror to disgust to helpless laughter.
But wait — as they say on infomercials — there’s more! In fact, there always seems to be more.
How about this: penis in toaster?! That may be the best “places not to put your penis” story ever.
But what of penis-terrorism? Surely that’s what all men worry about on a daily basis (what Freud couldn’t bring himself to really say). Your worry has not been in vain; they really are after your penis. Well, one rugby player is.
Okay, maybe after that story you need a special kind of unicorn chaser: how about this? Fun things to do with your penis.
Do you have any favourite ‘unusual places for a penis’ stories?