Get Shorty: Hot Vertically Challenged Guys
Okay, I’m watching Chris Messina on The Mindy Project. If I weren’t married, I’d do him. Am I right, ladies? And there was a bit in a recent episode where he was mashed up against the male nurse. That guy’s a giant, and Chris Messina is tiny. I remember thinking, “My God he’s so petite, and yes, I’d STILL do him.”
Speaking of the not super tall — we were wrangling over the song Blurred Lines yesterday, and I have to say, Pharrell Williams is the eye candy that sucked me into that video/song/performance. While not as tall as Robin Thicke, I just can’t help it…I want him. (But if I can’t have him, can I at least get some skin care tips? His gorgeous complexion is beyond crazy beautiful.)
I saw a poll somewhere – like more than 80% of romance reading women want a TALL hero. Why? My friend says: “When I’m with a guy I want to feel feminine and pretty. I don’t feel that way when a guy is shorter. I don’t want to be an amazon, -all hulking and…it just feels wrong.”
I get that, yeah, sure. And, I’ll even mention the elephant in the room. Short guy= small penis. Right? Not always. And as someone once said: it’s not how big it is, it’s knowing what to do with it.
Again — if you read a lot of romance, you’ve read about a lotta lotta mondo dicks.
My rebuttal: Brad Pitt with Geena Davis in Thelma & Louise. He had her up on a dresser—and even so, her legs could have wrapped around him twice. But it’s Brad Pitt, and…he looked like he knew what he was doing.
The thing is: if you’re not over six foot and you’re a guy in America, you’re under the same onus as women who are larger than a size 8. And if you’re skinny? Sensitive? Fagettaboutit.
Some others have also blogged — I loved the quote from a book on this blog:
“He’s not so short…he’s just concentrated.” (Squee!)
Then there was this episode on Entourage that sticks in my mind. A model who wants to move into acting basically attacks Eric with total joyous Amazon-y aggression. He’s so cute and she’s ready to plaster herself all over his Irish elf-ness. Eventually she tosses him–literally–onto a bed and has her way with him.
Now, his attitude is very engaging. He’s not at all threatened by her attitude of intensity and sexy aggression. If she wants to have her way with him…well, okay then. Yet when he sees her tape and she’s a horrible actress, only then does he take a strong stand and refuse to represent her. I have to say I liked this story line, I just wish we saw more of this.
Kurt Cobain – I’m STILL so obsessed with him. In the official biography (yes I read it page to page) his girlfriend said he was so self conscious about his lack of bulk he used to wear three pairs of pants at one time. I don’t care – his lyrics are to DIE.
Topher Grace and whassherface from That 70’s Show. She learned the art of the Kelly McGillis stoop (that classic from Top Gun, where she’s sort of gracefully draped herself over Tom Cruise’s shorter figure.)
Tall guys haven’t got it all wrapped up. I was entangled at one point with a guy who was 6’ 5”. He said he spent most of his time looking at the top of people’s heads. I couldn’t kiss him when I wanted to, spontaneously—he was orbiting a different atmosphere that I just couldn’t reach. Also he had a chronic bad back—because being tall, people assume you’re strong and expected him to lift everything (heavy objects, cheerleaders, dancers, etc) all the time. Also he worried about brain damage—this from hitting his head constantly on top of door frames some times so hard, he concussed himself.
Remember that British guy from Bright Star. He played waify sensitive poet Keats. Abby Cornish was so robust by comparison, but he was Keats. He was to DIE even as he was dying. Now he’s playing Q – speaking of which:
Daniel Craig – not tall.
And Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad–To me he’s got a scary lotta forehead going on. But still…
According to helpful sex books it’s harder for tall guys to have sex standing up – being equal height or if the girl is taller makes it much easier against a wall, in the shower, etc. Just saying.
Yet I have to confess, the first romance I wrote had a giant hero. One of those six foot three types. And yes, I hang my head in shame, he has a massive one eyed lizard.
So I vow I’m going to have some amazon tackle some shorter-than guy in a book and have both of them like it.