Androgyny is Hot
Don’t you think so? I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, but I know a number of people feel uncomfortable with it. I was at a dinner the other night where this guy was talking about his son who wears pink shirts, has painted nails, but also has had a girlfriend for the last two years. Dad was not happy. If he’s gay, the dad sad, he can support him 100% and walk that walk, talk that talk. Having a son something short of gay is what is making daddio unhappy. He doesn’t know what to do with that middle ground.
I have a single gal friend who shared the story of the guy she met at work and how he seemed to be letting her do all the work, but he did seem to like her. She didn’t know though. What was his deal? Was he too passive? Shy? Uncertain? It was turning her off by the minute, but you know, if she were a guy, she wouldn’t necessarily say that about a woman. So is she sexist? Or is she stuck in a fog of gender uncertainty. I’ve seen a certain kind of metro guy play the come-hither card. And it works in a smooth, sensuous way, though it requires a woman who’s sure of herself to go-hither confidently.
Welcome to the gender wars. I’ve been wondering where we are with gender in our society. Mostly because I saw this CRAZY movie called Tiresia. It’s about a French prostitute who’s transgendered (chemically), then kidnapped and deprived of her hormones so she starts turning back into a man. (It gets pretty gruesome from there. The film is all about duality – unlucky vs. lucky, male vs. female, handicapped vs. blessed. And it’s kind of like a play too—talk, talk, talk. Those wacky French.)
But I’ve also kind of wondered about androgyny and attraction. Is it meant to be a part of our world growing up? Like in high school, I would perseverate on this popular boy who dated this popular girl who practically was a boy herself. She was a track star, completely flat chested, no hips, boy short hair. I had to wonder if he was dating her because he was popular, or because he was attracted to her—and if to her then was he attracted to boys? I just couldn’t stop wondering.
Tweener girls often crush out on boy-girls. Take the Hansons. I used to wonder about them too. Did they feel odd about growing their hair out, wearing lipstick? I always felt squeamish looking at them. Like as boys made to look like girls, did they like it? Were they made to do it? Were they resigned to it?
Then there’s the Beibs. I swear the first time I saw him, I was confused and thought he was Hilary Swank. But like, on a good day. Really I did. You know what I mean?
I want to go out on a limb here and say that androgyny is in it’s own tiny way sinking into the romance world. Quelle horror you say. No, how could this be? Romance? Where men always have massive tools, and women have curves for days, etc?
Well but if you think about it, the men also tend to have a ton of hair—often long gorgeous abundant hair. I think I’ve only read one story—one where the guy had the suggestion of a receding hairline or was bald.
And romance is often about attractive men who can mind read, anticipating the wants/needs of his partner. (Like women do.)
Romance is often about men who are tender.
There’s a whole line of romances devoted to secret babies. We’re basically talking about are men who are good fathers (nurturing)
Then there’s women in romance.
Women who are sassy (assertive)
Women who are kick-ass in urban fantasy (aggressive)
Even historicals are full of tomboys these days– Young women who can shoot guns, arrows, swordfight, read Greek, do tricks on horseback, etc.
At this point I have to bring up go-to favorite movie character Legolas. Face it, he’s androgyny on a stick. In Peter Jackson’s world, elves are all about long hair, amazing cheekbones, and are kinda interchangeable. The boys are lithe, the girls all seem to have low voices and can fight and ride like men. I myself would not mind joining into an elf dog pile with any of them, truth be told. Even with Legolas’s dad who’s a total wanker.
Maybe this is because I never really embraced the whole beefy male thing in a way – massive thighs, super hairy chest, and big powerful ass – (although I will confess the covers of Laurann Dohner erotic romances makes me eat those words every time.)
I notice the model world is embracing androgyny. It can give certain models celebrity status (examples). Perhaps in their biz anyone who makes you give a double take is valuable.
It’s like androgyny is this attractive third gender where everyone embraces that middle ground of boy-girl pretty.
I actually scored -7, which is androgynous. (Shocker!)
What about you?
There are bold souls in our pop world marching off into androgyny territory. Lady Gaga, etc. Psychology today talks about them here. Check it out!