Screw Jogging – I’m Gonna Sexercise

Beautiful seductive woman in black underwearBy Elizabeth Shore

I live in a cold climate. Not as cold as where I was born and raised, but damn cold enough. Over the past few weeks it’s been single digits in the morning and at six a.m., it’s still dark. So what do I find myself doing? Taking a plunge in hell, as far as I’m concerned, because I’m out there jogging. It’s freezing, it’s dark, and I’m miserable. It’s enough to make me ditch my hopes for health and tear open a jumbo bag of Cheetos. But not so fast! I just learned there’s a better way to stay fit, a way that not only gives stamina on the track, but stamina in the sack. I’m talking about sexercise.

We all know that there are plenty of exercises that mimic sex moves and that they’ve been around for quite awhile. Pole dancing, belly dancing, the porn star workout. But sexercise, according to trainer Jason Rosell, is designed around increasing stamina in the areas you’ll need to keep going all night long.

According to Rosell, people who aren’t in shape get tired after only four to eight minutes of intercourse. Say it isn’t so! But getting your fitness level up via sexercise will make a marathon session of the missionary mambo as easy as a walk in the park. In his workout, Rosell stresses things like deep squats (for ladies who like it on top, or so he claims), and exercises for strengthening your core so you can “pull him in deeper.” Um, yeah.

If you’re wondering just how sexy sexercising can be, check out Jason’s YouTube video, where he and fellow sexy workout buddies, who all look like they’re on the verge of mind-blowing orgasms, urge you in breathy voices to go “in and out and breathe.” Oh my.

Getting all sweaty and panting seems preferable to piling on layers and layers of clothing to run outside in the frozen tundra, but does it really work? Would a person burn more calories sexercising than, say, simply having sex? Rosell doesn’t note exactly how many calories are burned during a half hour sexercising session, but according to a recent article in the U.K.-based Daily Mail, an hour making love burns approximately the same amount of calories as a half hour jog. Hmmm. That’s interesting. But what if you’re not currently enjoying such regular late-night activity? Hey, we’re all busy and sometimes we just need our rest. On such occasions, it seems to me like you may need to supplement your sex with some sexercise.

What if, however, all of that thrusting and grinding just isn’t your thing (in public, anyway) but you’re all for sweating away unwanted pounds? Perhaps Bikram yoga could be the answer. Stretch and find your inner core inside a room that’s over 100 degrees. Practice your breathing and build your strength. That all sounded pretty good until I read that the founder of Bikram yoga is currently being investigated for allegations of sexually assaulting women who had attended his yoga training camps. Yikes. In the end, maybe I’ll just have to stick with jogging after all (sigh). That, or give in to the Cheetos.

What do you think? Are you up for some sexercising? Let us know your thoughts and don’t forget to get your daily reading exercise in here at Lady Smut.

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  • Author Charmaine Gordon
    February 5, 2014 at 9:08 am

    Elizabeth dear, you are out of your mind jogging at six in the a.m. in this frigid NY weather. And as for sexercising, nothing beats the real thing but you won’t lose weight. How about sensible food-forget Cheetos-regular exercise and stretches at home? Do I seem to be a nutcase here at 83 working a routine every day since I turned thirty? Maybe. But lookin’ good and feelin’ good is where it’s at. No fancy fads this old broad.
    Thanks for another peek into a weird society I don’t want to be a part of.

    • Elizabeth Shore
      February 5, 2014 at 12:21 pm

      Ha ha! It’s crazy out there, right Charmaine? I haven’t succumbed to an overindulgence of Cheetos just yet but on an icy morning like today it’s tough . . . 🙂

  • giannasimone
    February 5, 2014 at 12:41 pm

    I say forget the exercising altogether and go for the Cheetos! lol

    • Elizabeth Shore
      February 5, 2014 at 12:47 pm

      Cheetos, Doritos . . . I’m not picky. Did you check out that guy’s video? It doesn’t look like a whole lotta calories are getting burned by just the small amount of butt wiggling I saw.

  • Kat Attalla
    February 5, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    I say, go for a jog to buy your Cheetos and get the best of both worlds. Of course I say that because the 7/11 is only two blocks from me.. And the site of me jogging would be much less frightening that the site of me ‘dirty dancing.

    • Elizabeth Shore
      February 5, 2014 at 2:31 pm

      I think the sight of most people dirty dancing would be something we’d rather forget!

  • elfahearn
    February 5, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    Sexercise… When would i be motivated to do that… maybe after an intravenous shot of chocolate. Great piece, Peachy!

    • Elizabeth Shore
      February 5, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      Yeah, maybe the chocolate would give you the needed energy to sexercise. Hey, you may be on to something . . . 🙂

  • Liz
    February 5, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    I rather Zumba… Nice post but the guy is so cheesy! LOL.

  • Madeline Iva
    February 5, 2014 at 6:16 pm

    I will confess I only attempted to dirty dance once in my life at a college party in a group of girls (whom I might add were dirty dancing with each other.) As I attempted some kind of semi-squat dance move (God what was I thinking?) I got this one ‘ew’ look from one of the girls. I turned the other way, acted like I hadn’t just attempted that, and never ever ever EVER tried dirty dancing again. Sigh.

    I will add though, that when it comes to sex and exercise, that if a guy is sitting and you’re on top of him having sex, then yeah, you’re doing all the work, and it does require a lot of thigh and core strength. But it’s worth it. ;>

    • Elizabeth Shore
      February 5, 2014 at 10:29 pm

      That’s rather a sad dirty dancing story. I mean, geez, you oughta be able to bust whatever move you want!

  • Tara Andrews
    February 5, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Hi Liz – For starters, I just over indulged in Cheetos while stuck home with the kids on Monday. So, now I feel guilty and can’t decide whether I should go for a run (and risk a coronary event) or buy that video! LOL.

    • Elizabeth Shore
      February 5, 2014 at 10:30 pm

      Tomorrow’s supposed to be super icy so I think we’re all off the hook for outdoors exercise. Maybe we’ll need to think about that video after all. 🙂


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