If You Find It, You Will … Arrive: In Support of the G-Spot

The G-spot is a little smaller than this, but don't worry. You won't need a map.

The G-spot is a little smaller than this, but don’t worry. You won’t need a map.

By Alexa Day

It’s part of my job as a writer of erotica and erotic romance to keep an eye on all the latest Sex News. (Yes, it is capitalized like that.) I like to know what people are interested in, and what’s new under the sun, and I use the information to make sure my work is as hot as I can realistically make it. And it’s fun.

Last week, I ran across a distressing quote.

Dr. Susan Oakley, an Ohio OBGYN, has been working on a study about the relationship between the size and location of the clitoris and the frequency of the female orgasm. The Huffington Post ran a story on the study results, and it sounded like the kind of exploration I could get behind. But then Dr. Oakley said, “There’s no G-spot. There’s a C-spot β€” the clitoris.”

I don’t know if she meant that in a hip, ironic, the-G-Spot-is-so-last-year kind of way. Maybe she did. I don’t know if she’s saying that what we know as the G-spot is actually part of the clitoris. Either way, this is kind of a problem because when a medical professional says something doesn’t exist, people don’t hear it in a hip, ironic way. They don’t consider possible changes in nomenclature. They hear a fact. They hear a fact even when science seems to change its mind every 18 months or so about the existence, location, and proper care and feeding of the G-spot.

Let me be really clear about something. The G-spot does exist. The G-spot orgasm also exists. If the G-spot isn’t real, then I have one hell of an imagination, and so do plenty of other women. I think the trouble is that many people have a little difficulty finding the G-spot. Good thing we have Dr. Jennifer Berman to help us out. Here she is, using a sophisticated teaching tool to show Conan O’Brien exactly how to get to it.

So how did this denial of the G-spot happen? Well, I’m no scientist. I’m not sure I’m qualified to say. But I know that the G-spot is easier to find when women are very relaxed and very aroused. I’m guessing it’s tough to achieve those conditions as part of a scientific study (although I had fun imagining that sort of thing in my book).

We cannot make this a grim, forced march to the G-spot. That’s a recipe for frustration. The G-spot might be the only thing in life β€” more than true love, more than success, more than happiness β€” that we’re more certain to find when we are not actively looking for it.

I’m not going to get into what the G-spot orgasm feels like. To the extent it can be captured in words, other writers are doing it better than I can. I can say that the experience was kind of mindbending for me, very stimulating both physically and intellectually. And that was very real indeed.

Friends, too many people believe in the G-spot to give up on it. Can’t we have both a G-spot and a C-spot?

Why not leave a G-spot testimony in the comments? Then follow Lady Smut. We’re easy to find.

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  • christineblackthorn
    March 2, 2014 at 4:30 am

    Ok, the academic that I am had to go out and look at the actual data as collected by the article and even though the sample size was low (1100 women) this was not an issue for the actual research as it had the purpose to compare sexual pleasure between women using hormonal contraception and those using non-hormonal contraceptive methods. With other words the validity comes from comparing two approximately equal groups. There are good reasons why sweeping statements on the existence of the g-spot might not be wise based on that.

    The research has nicely controlled for socio-demographic elements – but I think this control might be what causes the problem here. The respondent group was drawn from all ages and backgrounds which not only limits the number of more experienced women responding but the actual rate of response was higher in the younger set. What is my point? My point is that sex might be natural, but good sex takes practice. Finding the g-spot and being able to give into that feeling definitely do.

    I would argue that there might be an issue regarding the use of the research data for purposes not intended by the research design.

    • Alexa Day
      March 2, 2014 at 6:01 pm

      Oh, Christine, I’m glad you found the data! I was hoping to find the actual material somewhere but alas, with my pathetic attention span, I had no meaningful chance of turning it up. πŸ™‚

      My worry is that any part of that study, even as you describe it, is leading to the conclusion that there is no G-spot. I think it’s either irresponsible science, irresponsible journalism, or both. If even one person comes away from this thinking that the G-spot is not real because this person said so, then I think we’re all losing something. I don’t mind the thought of a little practice. Certainly in-depth study is warranted. πŸ˜‰

      • christineblackthorn
        March 4, 2014 at 2:26 am

        I think the article is based on a side comment of the researcher taken out of context by the journalist. It was clearly a finding not related to the data or within the remit of the research.

        I agree – we definitely need more research. I can see a public call for participation coming …

  • Barbara Mikula
    March 2, 2014 at 11:50 am

    Good advice! I plan to continue believing in the illusive (except in my books LOL) G-spot, just like Santa and the Easter Bunny. You just have to believe. I don’t know if I can quantify which of my orgasms were G-spot related and which were just plain old orgasms. No problem – I’ll take ’em any way I can get them! Lay back and enjoy, I say! – Skye Michaels

    • Alexa Day
      March 2, 2014 at 6:08 pm

      The mindbendy sensation is the key difference between G-spot O’s and the other varieties for me. πŸ™‚ But then Madeline mentions another telltale sign. It’s all good, though!

  • Madeline Iva
    March 2, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    I think I’ve read mentions of this article, and it contributes greatly to a problem I’ve had way back since high school–when the diagram we were giving for sex ed in high school included the cross section of the female hoo-ha that was a bit distorted. It looked like you had to have your hand up inside a woman to the wrist to find her clitoris.

    It was troubling to look at and contemplate as a teen, I assure you.

    THEN there was the whole issue of what the ‘Wet Spot’ was. This was something I read about in references to the 60’s and 70’s. Perhaps because this was when everyone was looking for the g-spot.

    Some obviously found it, and then discovering female ejaculation. (Which left behind a big wet spot—–ah! Mystery solved.)

    Female ejaculation is a bit of a misnomer, perhaps, but tickle that g-spot long enough, and you’re going to see a bit of flooding down there. Not that this is a bad thing. Not that the g-spot is a bad thing….. Just thought those of you unfamiliar with this should know what to expect.

    But I get a bit frustrated that it’s 2014, and we (women, adult straight men, scientists, educators) are still not all 100% on the same page with this stuff, you know? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoHhxWCFMQ0

    • Barbara Mikula
      March 2, 2014 at 3:31 pm

      Is that the same as a doo-dah? LOL. I think we all just need to relax, lay back and enjoy – yes – I do mean let the men do all the work!! Just kidding. As an Erotic Romance writer, I sometimes gloss over the exact logistics or geography myself. But then it is romance, not a sex manual, although I hope my readers occasionally get a good idea from me – Skye Michaels.

    • Alexa Day
      March 2, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      We didn’t have sex ed in high school, but I’ve often thought, based on what others have told me, that it must be geared to make sex in general distressing to think about. I checked out a few diagrams in pursuit of this post and thought, “Well, damn. No wonder no one can seem to find anything!” πŸ™‚

      I share your frustration, Madeline. Humanity can put a man on the moon, but we cannot seem to agree on whether or not there is a G-spot. πŸ˜‰

  • C. Margery Kempe
    March 2, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    There are G-spot vibrators that do a great job of helping women find the location of their own G-spot. Once you know where it is, it’s a lot easier to find it consistently. It helps to have a partner whose equipment matches your internal needs, but partners can learn too!

    • Alexa Day
      March 2, 2014 at 6:06 pm

      You know I’m a big fan of technology anyway, and the G-spot vibrators are the best thing since sliced bread. I think it’d be hard *not* to find it with the right machine and enough time. But you speak a truth that applies to so many sexual situations — once *you* know something, it’s really easy to help a partner please you better!

  • Author Charmaine Gordon
    March 2, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    A G-spot by any other name is still a G-spot. Who cares? Forget the rhetoric and have fun. Do you know-probably not-a woman in her seventies can have the best longest extended orgasms EVER! Speaking from experience. Shhh. And now I’m 83. Oh yes. There’s hope, kids.

  • Elizabeth Shore
    March 2, 2014 at 7:27 pm

    G-spot as in “goodness gracious!” spot? Oh, it’s there, baby. It’s there. πŸ™‚

  • normandiea
    March 4, 2014 at 8:10 am

    Goodness, I thought we were past this… Yes, there’s a G-spot it’s connected to the clitoris, and if you stimulate it enough she will probably ejaculate or squirt. But hey maybe it’s nice that females can keep things “mysterious.”

    • Madeline Iva
      March 4, 2014 at 8:23 am

      Okay, okay, I hear you. And you have a point. But there’s mysterious and then there’s…ignorant. One is good, the other not so much.


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