March 10, 2014

Come to Daddy

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

“Doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age.” So doth Benedict lament in Much Ado About Nothing when trying to talk himself out of his previous protestations against love.

It’s true. As we get older, our tastes change.

chris hemsworth and tot
Chris Hemsworth and daughter

Some of that’s biology. Our bodies, and other appetites, simply can’t stomach what we used to gorge on without compunction. Some of it’s wisdom and experience that views our once young fervency through more jaded eyes. Though there is a sadness in that loss of young conviction that once compelled us to swear those flourescent leg warmers were the best thing evah. Overall, it’s just a natural maturing of taste and preference. Which leads me to a question that been quietly needling at me for a few months now.

When did I develop a thing for dads?

Don’t mistake me, I’m not talking about a fetish need to call a lover “daddy” because—no. Hell no. But I’ve notice a personal trend where most of the men to whom I’m attracted are happily married and/or have children. Young children. I don’t even want children of my own; I’m a great fake aunt and a kick-ass babysitter but I deeply cherish the “send them home” philosophy. Yet I have a visceral reaction to a handsome man with a layer of scruff and an impish tot on his shoulders.* Yes, the scruff is key. I’m on a detour; I’m not off my usual route altogether.

hugh and kid
Hugh Jackman and daughter

This puzzled me until I realized the men in my age group of mphrm years old are now of “dad” age. They, and I, are seasoned. It’s not that my tastes are changing, it’s that they’re evolving along with my (gasp!) age.

That’s the beauty of the subjective aspect of attraction. We all have the main parts, it’s the variations on their assembly that creates that zing of attraction. And it changes as we change, as life and relationship experience hone the qualities we seek in a mate, both physical and emotional.

becks and daughter
David Beckham and daughter



Biologically, I’m drawn to the evidence that these men have duly provided hearth and home along with the proof of their virility in being able to create offspring. What nurturing DNA I have is poked by the tenderness displayed in their demonstrations of affection to their children.

Visually, they’re damn hot.

kris and skylar summer
Kris Holden-Ried and son

Have your tastes evolved as you’ve become more…seasoned? Or do you still find the same physical and emotional qualities attractive in a man as you did in your younger, perhaps less wise years?

Follow LadySmut. We’re well seasoned and spicy to boot.

Images courtesy of Google Images and @KrisHolden_Ried on Twitter.


*Adorable cats or puppies also apply here.

tom hardy and puppy
Tom Hardy and puppy

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  • Post authorLisa Whitefern

    What a great blog! Yes I’ve definitely noticed my taste in men such as models, and actors changed considerably once I turned 40, although I’ve been with the same man for 20 years, and of course the love for a life partner doesn’t change.

    Reply to Lisa Whitefern
  • Post authorlisawhitefern

    What a great blog. Yes I’ve definitely noticed my taste in men such as models and actors has changed considerably since I turned 40, although I’ve been with the same man 20 years, and of course your love for a life partner doesn’t change.

    Reply to lisawhitefern
    • Post authorMadeline Iva

      Lisa! So happy you stopped by the blog — I was just looking at your book somewhere on line the other day. (Was it goodreads?)
      I agree with you completely–100%.

      Reply to Madeline Iva
    • Post authorKiersten Hallie Krum

      Hi Lisa! So glad you enjoyed the post. I love it when people agree with me. 😉

      Reply to Kiersten Hallie Krum
  • Post authorMadeline Iva

    Hey, I think Tom Hardy is going to be a dad too…though it seems he can’t quite convince his lady-love baby-mama to put a ring on it.

    Well, Kiersten, science backs you up. Apparently women will rate photos of men as more attractive if they know the guy is taken. (Like it gives him bona fides or something. Proves he’s housebroken? Who knows.)

    All I can say is that I have a lot of older friends and as these women got older (hit their sexual prime???) their/my minds have gone into the gutter. I am a noticer of man flesh in a way I never was before in my sweet innocent (mostly) youth. What gives? I don’t know, but all I can say is that the Lady Smut cure is working.

    Reply to Madeline Iva
    • Post authorKiersten Hallie Krum

      Yes, Tom Hardy is already a (devoted) dad, but in this case, I defer to the puppy love picture as those photos are a series of ovary explosions.

      Reply to Kiersten Hallie Krum
  • Post authorLizEverly

    Speaking as a woman who DOES have children with her husband, I can say that the bond between us has deepened in unexpected ways. The fact that he is a great Dad makes my heart beat even faster. 😉

    Reply to LizEverly
  • Post authorBarbara Mikula

    This article is right on the point. I have noticed that while I will still ogle the really beautiful young guys in Cosmo, my real attraction is toward the slightly older ones – yes with a little scruff and maybe a kid – I have but both of those in my romance novels, i.e. Madison’s Choice where the hero, Ross Hamilton, finds out his has a son and that his girlfriend, Madison Snow, left town pregnant eight years previously without telling him- lots of conflict there! . My heroes and heroines are a little older. I can’t let them get too old as I want to appeal to both sides of that line. SInce I am blanekety blank years old I have to admit that Tom Selleck still does it for me. (Big Hint – LOL) – Have a great day everyone. Oggling a good looking man – or reading about one – certainly makes the day sweeter! – Skye Michaels 🙂

    Reply to Barbara Mikula
  • Post authorElizabeth Shore

    You’re certainly right about tastes changing. There are things I notice and really like about guys now that never even occurred to me in my younger days. I will admit that the daddy thing doesn’t do it for me, but a cute guy with a kitten or puppy is an attraction for sure. And if he’s got a tattoo to boot, well. Let’s just say I need nothing more.

    Reply to Elizabeth Shore
  • Post authorKel

    Yes and no. I have a definite “too young” filter, but I don’t specifically find men with children more attractive now than previously. Men with pets have always been more attractive than men without… but the “nurturing” approach has always been very appealing to me. I’m also someone who doesn’t find “taken” men more attractive, especially if they flirt with intent. (Although I will admit to having accompanied single friends to social things so they have an easier time attracting other women.)

    • Post authorKiersten Hallie Krum

      Hi Kel. I guess I should clarify that, in general, my personal rules are that “taken” men are officially off-limits in the real-world. But when concerning celebrities etc, more and more those to whom I’m drawn turn out to be devoted fathers.

      Reply to Kiersten Hallie Krum

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