Men In Kilts Fighting Trouser Tyranny

2 Apr
Man in kilt

No trousers, please – I’m a Kiltman

By Elizabeth Shore

With the celebration of Liz Everly’s Like Honey release this week, we’re talking all things Scottish here on Lady Smut. So I pondered what to write about Scotland. I thought of the rugged countryside, the thick brogues, the shrill bagpipes, the whisky. So far, not a dram of inspiration to be had. But then a writer friend (thanks Kelly Janicello!) forwarded me something about men in kilts. Hmmm. The seeds of inspiration sprouted at last.

There’s no doubt that a man in a kilt can look sexy. Take a look at Liz’s Pinterest board here if you’re skeptical. But in much of the western world, unless a guy fancies himself a cross-dresser, kilts are a no-go. They are technically speaking skirts, after all, and guys in skirts are about as accepted as nudists in Times Square. So what’s a kilt-wearing wannabe guy to do? Enter, kiltmen.com.

Kiltmen, or self-titled “Bravehearts” (and frankly, in many places a guy will indeed need to be brave to walk around in a kilt), are a group of men fighting against what they call trouser tyranny. Why should men be subject to that hellishly uncomfortable, binding, and restrictive garment called trousers when it makes much more anatomical sense for them to wear MUGs (male unbifurcated garments)?

The kilmen note quickly and often that they are NOT GAY, they’re merely fighters for the freedom and pleasure of wearing kilts and other non-restrictive forms of clothing such as caftans or robes. After all, they argue, trousers bind and chafe, even to the point of lowering sperm count. GAH!!! How can we as a reproductive-loving society allow such tyranny to occur? Is no one considering the long-term psychological damage inflicted upon 50% of the population by insisting that men wear pants??!

To be fair, the kiltmen make a good historical argument to support their views, pointing out that ancient Romans, Vikings, men of biblical times and, of course, Scottish highlanders have worn some form of unbifurcated garment for centuries. In addition, men in other parts of the world such as the Middle East continue wearing them today. It’s only been in relatively recent times that men in the western world  have had to endure the forced subjection of trouser wearing.

Part of me (admittedly, the sometimes cranky part) feels like telling the kiltmen that if they want to whine about societal repression it’s A-OK by me, but they’ll have to get in line behind the gazillion women ahead of them who’ve endured it since the dawn of time. But the nicer side of me feels simpatico with the kiltmen. Hey, I get it. It sucks to have to conform to someone else’s standards. Sometimes I’d like to wear my pj’s to work but noooooo. It’s not considered proper office attire, so in a skirt and heels I go.

Perhaps, if we’re talking about demanding clothing equality for all, we could take a page from the laws in several states – Massachusetts being a recent exception – where it’s legal to shoot photos up people’s skirts. The kiltmen claim that according to the Scottish highland regiments, nothing at all is to be worn under the kilt. The boys like to swing unimpeded, apparently. So, that being the case, a few snapshots of the freewheeling family jewels isn’t a problem, right? It’s all about fair play. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander (or the gonads, as the case may be). If the guys can shoot up women’s skirts, we gals can shoot up guy’s kilts.

What do you think? Do you support a man’s right to drop trou and don a kilt, or do you push to keep the pants firmly on? Let us know in the comments below. And if all these musings on kilts has gotten you in a wee bit of a Scottish mood, be sure to satisfy your hunger with a copy of Like Honey.

like honey

 

 

18 Responses to “Men In Kilts Fighting Trouser Tyranny”

  1. Barbara Mikula April 2, 2014 at 7:46 am #

    Well, I’d like a peek up the kilt of Duncan MacLeod of the clan MacLeod, that’s for sure. LOL. But, I do like to see a nice butt in a well-tailored pair of trousers – or a nice, well-worn pair of butt-hugging jeans – which all of my heroes seem to have!!!!

    “She caught the look that passed between a few of the other women whose eyes were all but bugged out of their heads. She had to admit that while Miguel looked fabulous in a three-piece, handmade, European suit, he looked even better in a pair of well-worn, butt-hugging jeans and cowboy boots. His wavy black hair was ruffled by the breeze and his bright, blue eyes sparkled. His black, long-sleeved T-shirt stretched across the muscles of his arms and chest outlining them in bas relief. She had to grin. The barn was going to be buzzing about this for weeks.” (From Gabriellas’s Prosecution, Book 3 of the NEW Black Iris Club series, by Skye Michaels – Work in Progress)

    – Skye Michaels

    Like

    • Elizabeth Shore April 2, 2014 at 9:05 am #

      Oooooh, what a nice little snippet to start the day. 🙂

      I’m with you on the butt hugging, jeans, Skye, just as long as they’re don’t veer into skinny jeans territory. Skinny jeans on guys = bad.

      Like

      • Liz Everly April 2, 2014 at 2:05 pm #

        Yeah, I don’t like skinny jeans on men.

        Like

  2. Liz Everly April 2, 2014 at 8:00 am #

    I do love men in a kilt and think they should have the right to wear what they want. But I do like a man’s butt in an old pair of jeans, too! LOL. Great post, Liz, and thanks for the shout-out!

    Like

  3. Kelly Janicello April 2, 2014 at 9:25 am #

    Love the post! I agree with Liz Everly the tight jeans do it for me and I think a kilt might be better left on the cover a bodice ripper.

    I am still shaking my head over the fact that it is legal in Massachusetts to take a photo up someones skirt. I got a good laugh over the fact they think trousers bind and chafe. Clearly they have never used cheap toilet paper in women’s restroom or worn a thong. Again love the post!!

    Like

    • Elizabeth Shore April 2, 2014 at 11:36 am #

      Eesh, a thong beneath a man in a kilt. Rather bad imagery coming at me on that one!

      Like

      • Kelly Janicello April 2, 2014 at 12:15 pm #

        LOL. Well I wasn’t going for a man wearing a thong under his kilt. Don’ t know which is worse that or seeing a man at the beach in bikini swim wear. Give me the boxers any day

        Like

  4. Author Charmaine Gordon April 2, 2014 at 10:00 am #

    Does anyone recall girdles, sanitary napkins with belts? Pure torture every month. And men complain about tight pants and restricted crotches. Kilts are perfect in their place-a parade with bagpipes but and here comes the big BUTT-Love the look of a guy in jeans -a guy with tight butt in close fitting jeans. We write about them, read and dream of them; seldom seen anywhere in real life. I wore Scottish plaid pleated skirts in High School. Very similar to kilts but I wore white bloomers underneath-a good girl back then.
    Another hit post, Elizabeth.

    Like

    • Elizabeth Shore April 2, 2014 at 11:39 am #

      I love a guy in a great fitting pair of jeans. I also like a really nice suit. I’m sure kilts are comfy and I take no issue with that. I’m also OK if a guy wants to wear it. But as for the sexy value, imho it can’t compete with the jeans.

      Like

  5. Madeline Iva April 2, 2014 at 7:24 pm #

    I love plaid so much. With the kilt mythos the thing about the kilt in yer excellent romantic historical is that the guy is standing there being all masculine –so steamy-hot and masculine– that even wearing the skirt can’t dampen his pelt of sexuality. That to me is what the kilt signifies. Long live the kilt! Viva Scotia!!!

    Like

  6. Kel April 3, 2014 at 12:24 pm #

    I love a formal kilt, or a utilikilt, or a kilt on the battlefield (a greatkilt is a lot of fabric, and provides fabulous padding)… it’s not about sneaking a peak up it, it’s about the knees… a well turned leg is a joy that most women overlook and that shorts somehow don’t accentuate properly.

    And trust me on this – modern men are not taught the art of sitting in kilts, and you’ve never experienced the negatives of kilts until you’ve sat opposite your brother going regimental.

    Like

    • Barbara Mikula April 3, 2014 at 12:35 pm #

      Yikes! I’ve never heard of “regimental” only “commando.” LOL :-))

      Like

  7. jrmacclure April 5, 2014 at 12:10 am #

    Rather silly post. I know men who frequently wear kilts, quite a few of them as a matter of fact.

    Like

    • jrmacclure April 5, 2014 at 12:14 am #

      However, that pic is rather insulting to people who do wear kilts. How about showing a real kilt wearer instead of that crap. And if that’s all you know about Scotland perhaps some research would be called for. It really isn’t all that hard. There is a good deal that goes on in Scotland from the popular Edinburgh Fringe to a very hotly debated independence referendum.

      Like

      • Madeline Iva April 5, 2014 at 7:44 am #

        LOVE the Edinburgh Fringe festival! Are you from Scotland yourself? Do you go to the festival each year?

        Like

      • Barbara Mikula April 5, 2014 at 7:53 am #

        Yeah! And how about equal time for those of us of Polish descent? I want to see guys in bowling shirts! LOL – just kidding – but not about the Polish descent! I didn’t mind seeing that nice six-pack, but he didn’t really look Scottish! Remember this is all in fun!

        Like

      • Elizabeth Shore April 5, 2014 at 12:41 pm #

        Hey, jrmacclure, thanks for stopping by. As our frequent commenter and fellow writer Barbara Mikula wisely points out, this post is all in good fun.

        Like

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