The ‘O’ in ‘Team’: Would You Hire a Sex Coach?

4 May
You could go all the way. Heyo!

You could go all the way. Heyo!

By Alexa Day

As part of my Post-Tax Clutter Purge and Shred Festival, I gathered up a lot of my old magazines to send to various magazine-seeking charities. Among this year’s odd discoveries were a stash of Cosmopolitans (not sure how those got here), a Playgirl (I know exactly how that got here), a People Sexiest Man Alive issue with Pierce Brosnan on the cover, and the June 2012 issue of GQ.

I got rid of the Cosmos, stashed the Playgirl and the People, and sat down with the GQ. I always enjoy my time with GQ. It’s nice to keep track of high fashion for men because real life is not providing me with useful examples of what erotic romance characters wear. But the June 2012 issue answered two questions for me and raised a third.

Question 1: What is this fascination with Michael Fassbender? The June 2012 issue features a lovely interview with Mr. Fassbender, who is a better looking fellow than I had first supposed. I think I was wrongly blaming him for whatever is now happening to the X-Men movie franchise. I hope he’ll forgive me for that someday.

Question 2: Where has Mark Strong been all my life? Mr. Strong is in the June 2012 issue, too, along with a handful of iconic movie villains. Big as life, with a safety pin in his mouth. He’s been right in front of me, apparently. I spent a little time imagining how the words “right in front of you” would sound in that voice. Then I had a really cold beverage and returned to my reading.

Question 3: Would I hire a sex coach to watch me have sex in the comfort and privacy of my home and then help me out with some pointers? Here’s a link to the article I read about Eric Amaranth. Check it out, along with the best headline ever.

Would I? Would you? Think about it.

Oh, come on. If you had an answer that quickly, you didn’t really think about it. Think about it.

Tab A in the slot formation.

Tab A in the slot formation.

First, let’s look at this in a general sense. I don’t mind telling you that I don’t know everything there is to know about sex. In fact, I would shy away from people who told me they did know everything there is to know. I’m delighted to report that there’s more for me to know and that the body of knowledge gets bigger every day. I keep a reading list and a little library here. I want to achieve my best possible performance sexually, and why not? I mean, I’m not putting any pressure on myself (heyo!). I just wonder if it’s possible to have more than what I have right now, and I think that’s a nice thing to wonder about.

But would I want a coach right here on the sidelines? Do I want that sort of practical hands-on and hands-off (mine on, his off) study?

I honestly don’t know. Seriously, I can’t answer that question. With the right partner, it might make for quite the experience. Even without a partner, it still has the potential to be fascinating.

And let’s consider our alternatives. There’s book learnin’, which is spectacular but has its limits. There’s personal experience, which is as limited as the person; bedding Tom only teaches you how to bed Tom, and only as well as he knows at the time. It leaves much to learn about bedding Dick and Harry. It also leaves out the things Tom doesn’t know but would like to know if he knew about them.

On top of that, there’s the lure of knowledge for knowledge’s sake. The world offers no more seductive whisper than this: “There’s so much more to learn.”

(Darn you, Mark Strong. Darn you to heckfire.)

So would I? Would you? Let me know what you think.

And remember: there’s no ‘I’ in Lady Smut. Follow us and see.

11 Responses to “The ‘O’ in ‘Team’: Would You Hire a Sex Coach?”

  1. Elizabeth Shore May 17, 2014 at 1:36 pm #

    Hmmm. I’m both intrigued and put off by the idea. On the one hand, who isn’t for better sex? And if a coach is the answer then let’s play ball. On the other, I guess having a guy pacing the sidelines (or, as the case may be, alongside the bed) can seem a bit uncomfortable. I guess I’d be thinking that at some point he’s going to drop trou and join!

    Like

    • Alexa Day May 18, 2014 at 4:05 pm #

      I wonder if at some point you wouldn’t forget he was even there. And if that would be more comfortable or less comfortable. Hmm.

      Like

  2. Kel May 5, 2014 at 12:36 pm #

    Uhm… maybe?

    I think it depends on why I might want coaching. I mean, I might want input from an expert in a particular field (a particular knot style perhaps) or someone with experience with a particular type of toy or style of garment… but a general “coach”… probably not. I’m not much into being watched… so having someone in the room just watching would be a definite turn-off and impact the whole experience negatively. Any feedback I got would be tainted by the expectation that I wasn’t having a good time anyway because I was distracted by the person in the room and WHY WAS THERE AN UNINVOLVED PERSON IN THE ROOM!?!?!

    Otherwise, I think my partner’s preference is of primary importance – when in doubt, I try to ask (and hope they are honest).

    Like

    • Alexa Day May 5, 2014 at 10:50 pm #

      Kel, I could not put my finger on what I was getting at until you said the word ‘knot,’ so thank you! Not sure what it means that the word ‘knot’ clarified my thoughts, but … actually, no, I do kind of know what that means. 😉

      I do wonder, though, what it’d be like to have a third party on site. I think, for me, much would depend on what sort of relationship (if any) I had with my partner. At any rate, it’s interesting to think about.

      And yay, knots. 🙂

      Like

  3. Madeline Iva May 5, 2014 at 7:52 am #

    Okay, I’m back. Yes to Mark Strong. The sex coach….you’re right, I didn’t really think about it. I mean, before you even get to the question of would I, the first question would be: who IS this person, anyway? And how do i/we know that this person is any good?

    Right? My aunt’s solution: find some older guy to have sex with the first time made me feel so ish. Just because someone’s older doesn’t mean he’s better. And I have an issue with guys who’ve had a lotta sex with a lotta different partners. — Some people wish for the virgin-ish kind of heroine— I’m that way about guys in a story. If he’s been around the block, I don’t want to know the details.

    Ultimately, I’m a big believer that sex can get better if partners are good communicators. That’s where I bet a sex coach could help the most–is helping people to communicate honestly, sincerely, and without hurting sensitive feelings. (You know that means guys and their super-delicate egos.)

    Like

    • Alexa Day May 5, 2014 at 10:40 pm #

      I like the idea of a coach for things neither of us is able to articulate. Kel mentioned the possibility of expert advice for knots, which crystallized things for me. I only have experience with knots from the casual consumer end, so I only know *whether* something is/isn’t working, not *why* it is/isn’t working. If I can’t articulate the problem, my hypothetical partner will have to struggle to fix the problem. In any event, we may be settling for a Band-Aid solution and not the best practice. If a coach can get us from not being able to articulate the issue to the best available solution, I’m all for it.

      I’m not worried as much about communication. It’s crucial, of course — so much so that if we can’t communicate well, he doesn’t get the chance to communicate about sex. 😉

      Like

  4. Madeline Iva May 4, 2014 at 10:46 pm #

    But this is a great post! More later….! 9 seconds left….

    Like

  5. Madeline Iva May 4, 2014 at 10:45 pm #

    Trying to leave a comment but you convinced me to get productivity owl and it’s kicking me off.

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Summer School Goes Sexy at Would U | Lady Smut - July 5, 2015

    […] and I’ve also taken an affirmative stance on (and under — heyo!) robots and sex with a coach in the room, watching and taking […]

    Like

  2. I Break For Turkeys | Lady Smut - November 23, 2014

    […] of football? Here’s a coach you can get behind. Or in front of. […]

    Like

  3. We Have the Technology, All Right: Consider the Possibility of Robot Sex | Lady Smut - May 18, 2014

    […] A recent study indicates that one in six people would be willing to have sex with a robot. I’m kind of surprised that the number is so low. I think most of us know at least one person who would jump at the chance to have sex with a robot. You probably know more than one if you’re counting me. After all, it was just a little while ago that I wanted us all to think seriously about having sex with a coach in the room. […]

    Like

Tell us what you think (but please respect the views of others)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: