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May 20, 2014

The Lingerie Question: Short? Kinky? Elegant? Nothing?

By Liz Everly

One of the events were are trying to schedule for the launch of LADY SMUT’S BOOK OF DARK DESIRES is a party at a Derriere de soie, a lingerie shop in Charlottesville, Va. How delicious does this store look?

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I say “trying” because we don’t really have a firm publication date—we know the release date is in August, but that’s about it. But while we are waiting for launch party plans to firm up, (now it looks like it will be Sept. 10), I starting thinking about lingerie and how much I love it.

Photo by Bahia Noticias
Photo by Bahia Noticias

I love the different colors and the feeling of wearing sexy, naughty underwear, for example, underneath a business suit, or a sweat suit, or underneath anything in which people would not necessarily expect it. Not that I do it that often, mind you. Here is the reason: my husband is, um, well just not that impressed with it. That is to say, lingerie is not his thing at all.

Funny, because most of my friend’s husbands are like this, too. A group of us went to a lingerie store together and I confessed that I’d not spend the money a this time because, well, I’d have it on for about two seconds—or I might have it on all night without a second glance from my husband. It doesn’t seem to matter what I wear. He wants it off. When the mood strikes, he doesn’t care what I’m wearing—including my old cotton “granny” nighties.

One of my friends confessed that her husband likes her in a t-shirt. Just a t-shirt—so why would she buy lingerie? Ah, we are practical women, my friend and I, that don’t have much money to flash around and so we don’t indulge.

But what we will indulge on is a good solid bra and firm support-ish garments. Those are definitely worth the money for us. A good bra demands a good fitting—the lingerie store is a good place for that.

Personally, if I did buy more lingerie, it would be of the long flowing silky nightgowns, not necessarily uncomfortable short, tight variety. I’d buy it just for the way it would make me feel. And hey those good feelings might spill over to the man I share a bed with, who knows? It’s worth a shot.

What about your bedmates? Lingerie? T-shirts? Granny nighties or, um, butt-naked?

By the way, the winner of last week’s copy of LIKE HONEY is Harliqueen! Congrats. Will be emailing your copy today!

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12 comments

  • Post authorMadeline Iva

    My friends are different from your friends. What we talk about is the contrast between what *we* like when it comes to lingerie and what our guys like. One friend (who is tiny) is with a guy who liked her to wear only white sort of ‘touch me not’ innocent looking lingerie.

    Another friend has a man who likes lace–which is problematic she says. She likes how things feel — silky slippery soft. But lace these days is all polyester and can sometimes feel cheap. She said sometimes her nipples get really chafed and sensitive if she picks the wrong thing and wears it for too long.

    Meanwhile, another friend of mine saves up all her lingerie to handwash at once and puts it out on a drying rack — and her dog simply loves to grab the most embarrassing item and haul it out — usually when her mother or guests are visiting. You know, like show and tell… ; >

    Myself, I can get enough of it and I’m lucky in that unlike flowers, my husband agrees.

    Reply to Madeline Iva
  • Post authorBarbara Mikula

    I think sexy underwear is for the woman to make her feel good about herself and not necessarily to attract a man – if she feels good about herself the man will be attracted to that – Skye Michaels

    Reply to Barbara Mikula
    • Post authorKel

      So true… nothing more attractive than someone who feels attractive.

  • Post authorKiersten Hallie Krum

    I am a big proponent of buying lingerie for yourself first – you’re the one who has to wear it after all. But more I mean because it can make you feel sexy and empowered, or at least that’s what it does for me. As Shakespeare put it, self love is not so great a sin as self neglect. I have a line in a WIP I’m working on intermittently where the hero takes in the heroine in her lingerie set and says “you wore that for me” and she counters “I treated myself. You’re just the cream on top.” (Yes, the cream line pays off later – have you met me?) Guys like the wrapping, sure, but typically are more eager to get to the present inside.

    Reply to Kiersten Hallie Krum
    • Post authorLiz Everly

      Kiersten, I love that line. Great stuff!

      Reply to Liz Everly
  • Post authorElizabeth SaFleur

    This post really rang true with me. When my husband and I first got together I asked him for his favorite lingerie preferences. His answer? “Naked.” My reply? “Well, there’s not much variety there.” He still doesn’t care.

    Reply to Elizabeth SaFleur
    • Post authorElizabeth SaFleur

      Oo, let me know when you’re at DdeS. I’ll definitely come!

      Reply to Elizabeth SaFleur
      • Post authorMadeline Iva

        Right now our event is scheduled for Sept. 10th. I’ll take your email address down and pop you a reminder closer to the event. Also, if you read Lady Smut we’ll definitely keep you in the loop. 🙂

        Reply to Madeline Iva
  • Post authorKel

    I love lingerie, but… it’s about me because I’ve heard “Nice, how does it come off” or “Uhm, whatever you like dear” too often. I have a love-hate relationship with clothing in general – if I want a specific type of clothing, I pretty much have to make it myself as I do not fit into anything off the rack except jeans, and those I have to buy in the men’s department. I even get my socks from a specialty retailer (Sock Dreams, if anyone else loves socks as much as I do).

    I’m with the woman who wants non-polyester-lace… and that’s sort of why I originally took up lace-making. (I have unusual hobbies) My preferences for lingerie tend to be all over the nap; short or long, sultry or elegant, dangerous or sweet (although not trashy). It really depends on my mood.

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