Cuckolding: What you might not know
A note from Liz Everly: When I was at Book Expo America, I stopped by the Ellora’s Cave booth, of course. Author Isabelle Drake (love her tag line “the Nicer Side of Naughty”) was there and we struck up a conversation. I think she definitely fits right in here at Lady Smut and I’m glad she said yes to a guest post.
Take it away Isabelle!
By Isabelle Drake
BDSM, ménage, bad boys….I love these as much as the next reader. But as I writer, I know that sometimes I need bring something new to erotic romance readers. A little while ago, I was questing for something new and on top of my to-be-considered list was cuckolding. At that time, I didn’t know that much about the cuckold lifestyle, just the commonly known bit that it involved sex outside a marriage.
I started doing some research and was surprised by what I found. Cuckold culture challenges the mainstream notion that women don’t need sex. It also challenges the common belief that women, unlike men, can’t enjoy sex for sex’s sake. That is, women can’t get physical pleasure from sex in a non-committed relationship. Anything that goes against mainstream culture interests me
Here are a couple things I discovered about cuckolding:
- Typically, the husband is aware of the wife’s “cheating” and often arranges, or participates in arranging, the lover. He may also be in control of what happens, including frequency and number of partners.
- A “cuckold husband” may take pride in his wife’s sexuality and in his ability to manage his “hotwife.”
- Wearing an ankle bracelet on the right ankle indicates that a woman is a hotwife.
Why do people do it?
- Cuckold husbands are aroused by the idea of, or by actually witnessing, his wife having sex with another man. One theory that seeks to explain this proposes the idea that men are motivated by competition and the cuckold husband, knowing that he is in competition with another man to sexually satisfy his wife, feels an intensified his passion for her.
- Hotwives are sexually empowered and, if new to the scene, often experience a sexual reawakening. One biologically-oriented theory states because women, unlike men, experience orgasm in a variety of ways women need variation to be truly satisfied physically. Due to this variation in ways of arousal and satisfaction, women naturally prefer multiple partners who will be able to satisfy them in multiple ways.
- Check out “The Intellectual Sex Fetish” by Anneli Rufus on The Daily Beast. The article offers some insights as well as some resources for more information. And the comments, to me, show that this is an intense topic that tempts judgment.
Ready for some fantasy?
After all that research, I was. Having spoken with readers, writers, and well, pretty much anyone who was interested, about the cuckold lifestyle, I understood it was a controversial topic. I’m not one to shy away from controversy. My challenge was to take everything I’d learned about cuckolding and the cuckold lifestyle and weave it into a romantic and satisfying story.
The Pink Bow, Book 1 in my Cuckold Beach series, focuses on the wife, showing how her husband is rewarded for encouraging her natural sexuality. Wicked Pink, Book 2, answers the question, why would a man want to be the lover of another man’s wife.
Here’s a description of the Cuckold Beach series:
On a sizzling stretch of California beach, devoted husbands are dedicated to satisfying their wives’ deepest desires. They’ll do whatever it takes to bring intimacy and ecstasy to the women they love…even if it means giving their wives to other men…while they watch.
And a bit about The Pink Bow ~ #1 in the Cuckold Beach series:
Abby is a naughty girl. Hornier than your average wife. And she’s certain she’s done a good job of hiding it from Troy. But like any dutiful husband, not only has Troy noticed the intensity of Abby’s sex drive—he plans to exploit it.
In a luxurious house on the beach, where couples gather to privately enjoy a taste of sexual freedom, Abby’s about to experience the hottest gift a husband can give.
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