By Alexa Day
Some time ago, I was at a workshop presented by sex educator Sheri Winston. (Her book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal, is a terrific resource for anyone interested in women’s sexuality.) Sheri talked about the way we use our senses to achieve orgasm and about the way we often give sound the short end of the stick. When we give full voice to our climax, she said, we can achieve stronger orgasms.
Then she led us in a guided meditation. Something that would involve lots of sexy vocalizations but no touching. And if we reached orgasm during this meditation, well, that was so much the better.
I had two thoughts.
Thought One: This is the coolest workshop I have ever attended in my life.
Thought Two: I don’t think I’m going to be able to manage any part of this while surrounded by people.
So while everyone settled into comfortable positions, a couple of us looked around nervously, apparently sharing Thought Two. Sheri noticed us in a very nurturing but nonjudgmental way and said we could use blindfolds if we wanted. The blindfold, she said, would make it easier for us to concentrate on our own meditations, even in a room filled with people.
I didn’t know how helpful that would be, but I was willing to try anything that might make me more comfortable.
And it worked. I’m not going to say how well it worked, but it worked.
The blindfold’s power is simple. It cuts off the outside world. The outside world will absolutely interfere with an orgasm if we allow it to do so. The blindfold prevents this interference. When you can’t see reality, you can rewrite reality to suit your purposes. Reality isn’t a room filled with people or the bedroom with the cat’s bed in the corner or the couch in front of the TV anymore. Reality is a temple or the nicest suite in the hotel or that secret place that’s home to your best sexual fantasies.
I think that’s why the blindfold is so useful for sexual submission. A submissive carries a great deal of responsibility to focus on his or her sensual experience. The transformation of pain into pleasure, the elision of restraint into relaxation, and all the wonderful worlds of sense play can be muddled by visual stimuli. The blindfold leaves a submissive with nothing but sensation.
Loads and loads of wonderful, mindbending sensation.
The blindfold also locks out the more judgmental parts of the real world. Even subs who play privately live with concern about What Other People Think. With the blindfold on, a sub can’t see what he or she must look like, so it’s harder to feel self-conscious and easier to release into subspace. Plus, as ridiculous as it sounds, not being able to see the real world is almost like being invisible to the real world. The blindfold offers an escape from the outside world, even if the outside world is really only present in a sub’s thoughts.
There’s powerful magic in a blindfold, but then submission is a powerful magic all its own. This Friday, The Big Book of Submission: 69 Kinky Tales offers 69 stories to stimulate the kinky imaginations of readers everywhere. Get ready to spend some time inside this fictional subspace with your favorite authors, including Lady Smut’s own C. Margery Kempe!
Just take that blindfold off first.
And follow Lady Smut. We might not see you coming, but we can hear you just fine.