By Geneva DeCroix
For most of us who write erotica or erotic romance, there seems to be this assumption from readers that we must have a wildly adventurous sex life. And maybe I do, at least behind closed doors. I really don’t know, because for all the shows like Sex & The City that show women sitting around talking openly about sex, I’ve never really experienced that kind of true honesty with friends. Oh, there will be a comment here or there, but not since high school have I had a conversation that included all the titillating specifics of mine or someone else’s recent encounters.
I will say, however, that a few of my stories are based on real life encounters. The first part of my new serial, Thrill in the Woods, is based on something that really happened: an outdoor spanking with a virtual stranger who was curious and asked me to do the honors. (Free today on Amazon!)
A Reminder for Him, my only femdom spanking story, was based on a real life experience with a guy who wanted to know what it would be like to play the role of sub. I did my best to fulfil his fantasy, but sadly, the encounter wasn’t repeated as it turned out to be “that was great, but probably not something I’d do again”… at least on his side. I discovered I had more of a dom side than I realized!
And I can’t help but think that anyone who has actually had sex with me would probably recognize me in other stories, even if those encounters are 100% fictional.
But there was this one time something happened to me that I never wrote about, but has always made me wonder what would have happened if only…
I was with a new partner, and I took him to a local bondage shop. I hadn’t been to the place before, but was curious. The place was fabulous. Leather as far as the eye could see and a really helpful owner who talked to us about different kinds of restraints, paddles, and various kit that was so much fun. The best thing about it was how un-creepy it was. I’ve felt more uncomfortable in a Victoria’s Secret than I did in that place.
Here’s the thing, though. On the way out, the owner said that night they were having a public spanking session at the shop. He was quite looking forward to it, because they had a new contraption they planned to try out and he thought it would be quite a show. Anyone, he told me, could give or receive spankings that night, or if we preferred, we could just watch.
I said I thought it sounded like fun, but I wasn’t sure. I’d have to talk to my partner about it. But looking in my partner’s eyes as we made that final chit-chat at the store, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. The shop owner gave me a card and said they’d be starting at 9pm. He told us how much he hoped we’d attend. (He was going to be spanking two of his subs that night, and he wanted a good crowd.)
So my partner and I left and as soon as we got to the car, he said, “Wow, can you believe he actually thought we’d go?” That ended that discussion and closed the door.
When I think back to that moment, I still wonder… what if? What if I’d gone?
My sex life might be adventurous behind closed doors. I like to experiment and I believe I have an open mind. But what if the door wasn’t closed?
I picture that day in that little shop and still in my mind I see an open door. If that invitation came up today, would I go?
One of the joys of writing erotica is it gives me a safe place to explore my fantasies. If given the opportunity, would I make some of those fantasies a reality?
Would you? Or do you prefer your naughtiness to be kept safely on the page?