50 Shades of Love on Valentine's Day

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

Cupid Suxks

It’s Valentine’s Day on Saturday which tends to bring out the anti-Valentine’s Day posts or pro-Valentine’s Day posts, whichever is your poison. As a romance writer, and romance novel reader and vehement supporter, you’d think Valentine’s Day would be my Nirvana. Honestly, it barely registers on my radar and that’s okay. I’m not particularly jazzed about Arbor Day either, although I do celebrate Ice Cream Day and Vodka Day religiously. Often together.

Last week, several of my romance writer friends had a Twitter convo (but of course) about Valentine’s Day and how they didn’t need a specified day of the year to tell their loved ones that they love them.

Here’s the thing: many other people do.

Sure, the majority of us don’t *need* a day to tell our loved ones we love them. We don’t *need* a day to show our mothers and fathers we love them either, but we have one for each. None object to those Hallmark Holidays because, on a whole, we agree that parents deserve a day on which to be recognized, mostly because they go much of the year without so much as a thank you. Likewise, for some, Valentine’s Day may be everything, perhaps their one sure chance to be reminded that they’re worthy of love (as is everyone).

gandy in red plaid
Gandy takes off. Hey, it’s *red* plaid! Applicable!

Whether a person is worthy of love has nothing to do with the trophy of a gift or the check mark of having a lover with whom to celebrate Valentine’s Day. No one is less worthy for not being Kay Jeweler’s target audience. We’re marked but how we love whomever and whatever we love on every day. But if for some it takes one specific date to be reminded to show it, well then, thank God for February 14th.

One Valentine’s Day found me at 10 PM in lower Manhattan in a windy, torrential downpour trying (and failing) to hail a cab after working a full day and taking a 3-hour class at night for my Masters degree. That night, I pretty much hated Valentine’s Day because those wankers celebrating it had basically commandeered all the damn cabs. I felt anything *but* sexy and romantic though I probably would’ve professed undying love to any cabbie who took my fare. What won my heart that night was a hot shower and a smoking cup of hopped up hot chocolate. Years earlier, I spent a very different Valentine’s Day at a play in a red-hot flapper dress and black heels with the gift of a red rose on my wrist. I came home to a single peach rose delivered while I was out by a particularly charming man. Both are great memories for very different reasons. Both were, at the time, exactly the love I needed.

50 Shades of Gandy
50 Shades of Gandy

There is no one way to be in a relationship, romantic or otherwise. There are, dare I say, more than 50 shades to how we show love.

Follow Lady Smut. We’ll love you long time.

Postscript: I stumbled upon this yesterday (man, I love The Twitter) and it’s just 50 Shades of Perfection. Enjoy.

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  • Post authorKayla Lords

    First of all, best video EVER. Ha!

    Second, I used to be on the I-don’t-need-Valentine’s bandwagon…until this year. I still don’t need a lot of money spent on me, but I am very excited to spend it with someone I love. Yes, we show our love all the time, but like you said, if parents can have a day to celebrate and be appreciated, why can’t love? 🙂

    Reply to Kayla Lords
  • Post authorMadeline Iva

    I am going to have my cake and eat it too. Yes, I fall into that “we don’t need a special day” camp with DH. We are just disgusting in how we coo and cuddle and tell each other I love you literally six times a day or more…

    BUT. That said, I lurve V-Day for expression love and joy to all and sundry around me. The neighborhood folks–esp. the kids who bring me winter berries tied up with a red bow. My friends. The in-laws. My friends. My lady smut gals (I loves you guys xoxo). Our vet. The people on fb who aren’t really my friends–but I don’t know–I just like them anyway. The thing is this–I want to do this ALLLLL the time. What holds me back? Oh, being just too much on fb. I imagine people saying “She’s off her meds again, I see”. I’ve got the love to give. The question is—can you all handle it? ; >

    Reply to Madeline Iva
  • Post authorElizabeth Shore

    I have my own beefs with Valentine’s Day (see Wednesday’s post – ha!), but I do acknowledge that despite the things I don’t like about it, I don’t think it’s a bad idea to be reminded to show the love to the one you love.

    Reply to Elizabeth Shore
  • Post authorKel

    So I don’t like the “requirement” version of Valentine’s day… but I think that having a day to say “I love you” or even “I like you, you’re neat” is pretty cool.

    I affectionately refer to it as “the cupcake holiday” because the grocery store seems to suddenly be full of sprinkles and candy bits that make *perfect* cupcakes. Plus, a cupcake is just a lovely way to say “hi. I like you.”

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