The Ultimate Down And Dirty Bromance – Why Ladies Love Gay Porn

18 Mar

Guys

Hello, dear readers. I’m off this week but will be back next. In the meantime, in case you missed this post the first time around, how about a little gay porn, hmm? Enjoy. 😉

By Elizabeth Shore

As we celebrate the release of C. Margery Kempe’s Man City: Martin this week, it got me thinking about M/M love and M/M romance and eventually it turned my naughty Lady Smut thoughts to M/M porn.  Super fit, hot-bodied guys doing the bump and grind with other hot-bodied guys.  Any problem with that? As it turns out, for many women it’s no problem at all.

Now, obviously, that’s a strong generalization because there are woman a-plenty who poo-poo gay porn – and regular porn – the way Miley Cyrus spurs common sense. But in doing some research for this post, I was more than a little surprised to learn how many woman get off to guys getting off.

You’ll probably remember 2010’s The Kids Are Alright with Annette Bening and Julianne Moore as a lesbian couple raising two children. And you remember that scene, right? The one where Bening and Moore are getting cozy in the bedroom and decide to turn up the heat with a little porn. Gay porn. It was a funny scene but as I’ve heard also accurate. A significant portion of the lesbian population apparently likes watching M/M porn. Seems  like a curious statistic. Wouldn’t lesbians prefer watching two hot gals getting busy over two hot guys? Wrong-o, daddy-o. They like the dudes.

A lesbian couple in my building confimed this unexpected bit of trivia. “Oh, lesbians love gay porn!” my neighbor chortled, a knowing smile lighting up her face. But wait, there’s more! Because as I was talking to women and reading up on this topic, I discovered that it’s not only the gay gals who like gay male porn – our straight sisters are liking it, too.

One obvious reason behind many women’s turn-off toward straight porn is that, frankly, we’re not the target audience. Straight porn is made for straight men. From the submissive nature of the female actors to the viewpoint of the sex scenes, it caters to the guys. There’s a reason the male actors are often shown from the chest down, ’cause the viewing male wants to imagine it’s him pounding away on the gal and not some other dude. Gay male porn shows the guys in all their hot, sweaty, ripped-body glory, including their gorgeous faces.

And about those hot bodies . . . yes, that’s another high reason behind why women like the male-male lovin’. Gay porn actors are romance cover models come to life.  They’re fit, they’re muscular, they’re just plain hot. And if there are no other women around, there’s no competition. They’re all for us. How delicious.

When I asked a friend about why she enjoys M/M she cited a reason I’ve seen over and over: power dynamics. Straight porn brings to the screen what many women experience in real life. The guy has the power. He comes, he sees, he conquers. The women happily do whatever he wants. Here’s a conversation I can imagine in a straight porn movie:

“Suck me, baby.”
“Ooooh, how hard?”
“Until you choke on it.”
“Okey-dokey!”

And off to the races she goes, cheerfully gobbling his manly tool. But in M/M porn, as one lesbian said, it is, for once, the man who’s getting f**ked. The power dynamics normally seen in straight porn are tossed in the garbage like a used condom.  As my friend added, “Watching man-on-man sex and seeing a man giving in to something that seems almost taboo is an intense, erotic experience.”

A further problem in straight porn is how fake it is. Nary a real breast in sight, positions that sometimes look more sadistic than sexy, and the gleeful exuberance that female porn actors show while getting their faces covered in sperm just doesn’t do it for the ladies. Even lesbians, who get no sexual jolt from guys, prefer gay porn to most F/F scenes which, clearly, are made by men for men.

What do you think? Have I missed any of the reasons? Sound off in the comments below and let me know. And while you’re at it, be sure to click on the follow button, too. You never know what titillating topics will pop up here at Lady Smut.

20 Responses to “The Ultimate Down And Dirty Bromance – Why Ladies Love Gay Porn”

  1. C. Margery Kempe December 4, 2013 at 7:10 am #

    The bad bleach jobs alone are enough to make me go ick. And the horrid makeup! Straight male porn is just FUGLY.

    Like

    • Elizabeth Shore December 4, 2013 at 11:43 am #

      And honestly, Ron Jeremy? Really? I mean, the dude’s fat, hairy, and just gross. Watching him pounding away while his gut jiggles like jell-o. Ummm. NO. Fugly indeed.

      Like

      • C. Margery Kempe December 5, 2013 at 5:36 am #

        Well, you can’t have attractive men! The viewer might be confused by his attraction to a man and start to question his he-man status!

        Like

  2. Madeline Iva December 4, 2013 at 7:17 am #

    What a fascinating big of research, Elizabeth. I had no idea…

    You make a convincing argument. Witnessing the still subversive act of a guy getting plowed gives some the “yeah, man, now it’s your turn!” spurt of power/arousal. (I mean, I could see how people could be into it–but I can also see how that’s still kinda problematic, you know?)

    But to confirm what you’re saying — I saw on this British TV show a guy discovering his brother’s porn stash of gay porn and being really revolted. The joke was that later when the brother’s lover (still in the closet) has his secret gay porn stash discovered by his wife–she ends up getting hooked on it herself. There you go…

    Like

    • Elizabeth Shore December 4, 2013 at 11:41 am #

      Haha! That’s funny, and goes along with what I’ve heard and read. As Alexa says, verrrrry interesting.

      Like

  3. Alexa Day December 4, 2013 at 8:54 am #

    See, this is why I love it here.

    I knew gay porn was popular with the ladies, but I had never given any real thought as to why. It would seem to correct many of the fairly pervasive problems with hetero male porn. And while I do approve of the hetero ladies’ porn out there, sometimes one wishes to skip over the story, if you see what I mean, if you get the picture.

    Verrrrry interesting. 😉

    Like

  4. LizEverly December 4, 2013 at 10:39 am #

    “Even lesbians, who get no sexual jolt from guys, prefer gay porn to most F/F scenes which, clearly, are made by men for men.” Oh I agree, those girl-on-girl porn flicks are absolutely made for men. I wonder how much of this research carries over to erotic literature.

    Like

    • Elizabeth Shore December 4, 2013 at 11:40 am #

      Interesting point, Liz. I would guess there’s probably a correlation. Why straight women read M/M erotic romance may be for many of the same reasons why they watch M/M porn. A topic worth exploring!

      Like

  5. kimberlychase December 7, 2013 at 11:52 pm #

    I think I’m coming to a similar conclusion that you have, but I too find it problematic. Even as I read this, I kept getting the sense that perhaps this was a passive aggressive response to dealing with issues of power and roles in society. I want to believe that’s not the case.

    Like

    • Elizabeth Shore December 8, 2013 at 1:02 pm #

      Yeah, I wonder, too. I suppose it definitely could be, at least with some.

      Thanks for stopping by, Kimberly.

      Like

    • Madeline Iva December 8, 2013 at 4:23 pm #

      Thoughtful comment Kimberly. Not that I’m against that kind of sweet delicious sense of total surrender–it’s the bread and butter upon which most romance is based… but then there’s this other thing–this other kind of response to watching someone in the ‘done to’ possition…it’s complexicated for sure. But this is why I love this blog and erotic romance where we can discuss sexuality and power all the live long day. 🙂

      Like

  6. rebeccablackwords March 18, 2015 at 9:34 am #

    I enjoyed reading this post – I’ve been trying to put my finger on why M/M erotica does it for me – you’ve helped! So thanks! x

    Like

    • Madeline Iva March 18, 2015 at 1:02 pm #

      Alexa Day who writes interracial romances has mentioned in the past that she’s thinking about writing one of every subgenre in romance. Wonder if you’ll inspire her to tackle m/m!

      Like

      • Elizabeth Shore March 19, 2015 at 9:20 am #

        To be honest, I’ve toyed with the idea of m/m myself. Hmmm …

        Like

    • Elizabeth Shore March 19, 2015 at 9:20 am #

      Thanks, Rebecca! I appreciate your comment – and the fact that the post helped. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Kel March 23, 2015 at 5:30 pm #

    It’s interesting. I like reading M/M, which is often written by both men and women… but I’m not really into watching it. I’m more interested in watching by women-for women porn, which tends to interesting power dynamics and less male-gaze porn-standards and more soft-focus “traditional romance” sex scene shots, even when the sex is just as explicit.

    There’s something about watching a women dominate a man and get off on his confusion that makes me happy more than watching two pretty men I don’t know be sexy. Possibly that I know pretty men who love each other, and I don’t need to contemplate how hot they would be in bed together.

    Because they totally would be. And there’s no space for me there – and I wouldn’t want there to be, or try to pretend there should be.

    Like

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