Yes Professor: Confessions of a Sophophiliac
Have you ever watched the grim television procedural show CRIMINAL MINDS? For those of you out there who are turned on by learning, Dr. Reid is brain teasing catnip.
On the show he is a walking computer of history. Not only has he read far and wide in the classics, not only does he know his poets, playwrights, and arcane urban factoids, but he kills it in the cardigan department and when seeking out possible friends, heads for the girls first.
Yes, this boy-man is not the cold analytic machine usually presented on TV. He is all intellectual probity and vulnerable sensibility wrapped up in a model-skinny tousel-haired package. I.e. he is sexy. Well, sexy-ish. The kicker is when he falls in love with a woman through talking to her on the phone. His version of foreplay is a four hour conversation. He doesn’t care what she looks like, he loves her mind first, last, and foremost.
If you like Dr. Reid–if you obsess a little bit over Dr. Reid–then you my friend are probably a sophophiliac–someone who is sexually turned on by learning.
Is this the fascination that grips students who have affairs with their professors? After all, they say your biggest sexual organ is your brain. (This illicit pairing is second in popularity only to doctors boinking nurses.) We’ve talked about the evolutionary advantage of smart guys on the blog before. Mating with smart men means having smart babies–right? Well, to a degree. Smart men presumably have access to plentiful resources and in their geeky-shy social ineptitude perhaps are less likely to stray.
All of these criteria are stereotypes, however. It’s possible for the smart man to be unemployed, for the genius to be socially savvy, for the man who has studied physics to be a playa and a cad. I’ve learned the hard way never to make assumptions about guys blessed with brains.
Not to look your typical cranially gifted in the mouth, but it seems to me that the best part of being with a smart guy is he can keep up with your own intellectual powers of conversation. Alas, academics are often only interested in their one small area of research, and only want to talk with others in their field about that topic. Give me your polymath instead, your intellectually open and curious fellow — give me your Dr. Reid, in fact–any day over a narrow-minded academic.
An original thinker will have interesting things to say about the world around you — and life will never be boring as a result. Meanwhile, observe the competitive nature of brainiacs. Academics are often as ruthlessly competitive at sports as they are in their departments. Compensating much?
Unfortunately, Dr. Reid is often subjected to the competitive ill-will of his team, a kind of mild bullying by the anti-intellectual elements on the show. The show also indulges in some needless intellectual snobbery–throwing around the idea that someone with endless intellectual curiosity is a freak, that someone precocious is inexperienced in carnal matters, and a genius is often beyond the reach of mere mortals–who are deemed contemptible in return.
While on the show he is a power lifter when it comes to intellectual reasoning, he is also portrayed as innocent of experience–perhaps even a virgin. They show him at one point charming a woman with slight-of-hand skills and at other points he is able to spin his own duplicitous web when needed to catch a killer. Yet his personal pleasures involve foreign language movie festivals–sans sub-titles, or other areas where a substantial geek arcana is required. Ultimately, one understands he experiences a lonely existence, and a kind of upside down world where normal experiences slightly torture him.
In other words…my kinda guy!
And while many of our friends are very smart–most of them are happy to put away the brains, grab a beer and just hang out. But I submit that ‘hanging out’ is a horrid conundrum to the pure intellectual. This kind of guy wants to graze upon intense topics, rigorously chew over the details of his latest obsession, tidy his ideas, and conquer theoretical concepts for fun–because he can. The Dr. Reid type intellectual has a mind that can go the distance 24/7.
The best part about intellectual guys I’ve known and loved is that at heart they’re turned off by bimbos. They have standards of attractiveness that have nothing to do with make-up, cleavage, or popularity. One can stand before this kind of guy and let one’s naked intellect shine. In summation, the man who likes smart women–who needs an intelligent woman as his partner in life–is truly sexy.
So what’s your I.Q.? If you’re a smarty-pants in touch with your smexy side, follow us at Lady Smut.com. We’ll whisper inductive reasoning proofs in your ear all night long.