Posted in Musings
May 6, 2015

Gridiron Girls – With Garter Belts

Woman Playing FootballBy Elizabeth Shore

Here’s a teenage boy’s wet-dream fantasy: Take a group of sexy women, put them in a lacy bra, lacy panties, and garter belt. Then make ’em play football. Cowabunga, kids! We got us a winner! Just make sure you don’t wake up. But here’s the thing: it’s no dream, and it’s no fantasy. It’s The Lingerie Football League! Now rebranded as the Legends Football League (the “LFL”) with expansion across the globe, the LFL – sadly – seems to be here to stay.

One could, I suppose, argue that it’s a good thing, and some of the Legends Football League players do exactly that. There are no other opportunities for women to participate in a full-contact football league, they point out, so isn’t it better to play in a bra and panties than not be able to play at all? And sure, there’s some truth to that. Carpe diem! Take advantage of what’s offered and try to make it better. To be fair, it has gotten better. The uniforms have changed. A little. The players no longer have to wear a garter belt, for example. The athletic bra and panties are now sans lace. The shoulder pads have more protection, as do the helmets. Hoo-boy, let’s hear it for progress!

But let’s be real. Viewers of the LFL  are no more watching it for honest-to-goodness football than Hooters patrons are going there for the food. The draw of the LFL is the scantily-clad, large-breasted women. It’s the gridiron version of female mud wrestling. Supporters can argue loud and proud that the LFL is nothing less than serious football for females, but if that’s the case then why not give the athletes full protective uniforms? How about if they wear identical gear as NFL players, including full body coverage and full body protection, just like the men?

It probably won’t surprise you that founder and chairman, Mitch Mortaza – perhaps not a pillar of society with his arrests for drunken driving and public intoxication – seems to object to the idea of the LFL players wearing more clothing. The contract they sign, a copy of which was obtained by the website The Smoking Gun, includes a clause about agreeing to “accidental nudity,” presumably when their uniforms get torn or pulled during play. But that’s okay, right? I mean, an exposed nipple or two never hurt anyone. And isn’t that always the case when we’re talking about Serious Football?

Mortaza is quick to state that anyone accusing the LFL of exploiting women is just having a “kneejerk reaction.” His players, he says, are “confident women who come from all walks of life.” Hmmm, well, Mitch, that may be true, but the same thing can be said of strippers and prostitutes, where the exploitation is alive and well. Besides, if you want your league to be taken seriously, then what’s up with the names? Here’s a sample: Atlanta Steam, Chicago Bliss, Las Vegas Sin. Really? How about if we re-brand some NFL teams. Instead of the Tennessee Titans, how about the Tennessee Temptations? Forget about the Houston Oilers, bring on the Houston Hunks! The San Diego Studs. Either would do for me, and I mean do me. Har har!

If I try to look at this sham optimistically then I’ll admit that what one player says about women sports is true, that over time it has evolved in a positive direction. While there is a Bikini Basketball Association, it’s incredibly small and struggling (their website states, “the 2014 season is fast approaching”) whereas the WNBA has shown steady growth since its 1997 inception with games being shown on major cable networks. U.S. women’s soccer is a huge draw, as is women’s tennis. We can only hope that one day female athletes who enjoy playing full contact football will be able to do so while enjoying the same benefits – and respect – as the men.

What do you think? Are ladies playing football in a bra and panties a positive step toward progress or a depressing step back? Share your comments and follow us at Lady Smut, where we promise to always play fair, garter belts not required.


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  • Post authorKayla Lords

    I think the men who create, watch, and/or promote the “league” are exploiting women and their desire to see as much naked flesh as possible. Very little doubt about that.

    Whether women themselves are being set back is a more difficult thing to decipher. Are the women doing it because they want to for their own reasons? Sure, it could be because they need validation from the male gaze, but it could also be because they like to play football, are pure exhibitionists, or think this could further a modeling or acting career. As long as the women are doing it of their own free will, I support their decision to do so. The men who ogle them are pig-like in nature, but it’s a rare man that doesn’t take a moment to appreciate nearly naked flesh when it’s presented to them, either. It’s a fine line to walk – the act is chauvinistic as we don’t ask/require the same of men but if women freely choose to participate and enjoy it, does it matter? I don’t have the answers to that.

    Reply to Kayla Lords
    • Post authorElizabeth Shore

      I feel the same way, Kayla. I’m in a bit of a quandry. Honestly, part of me feels like why don’t we stop with this silly sham. Let’s just admit that the LFL’s sole purpose for existing is as entertainment for men because guys – to your point – like to see as much naked flesh as possible. The LFL is another way for them to do it. That would certainly stop the discussion of whether it’s a professional football outlet for women or whether it’s just objectifying them under the guise of a supposed pro league.

      And then there’s the whole thing about strippers, exotic dancers, mud wrestlers, etc. If the women want to do it, and they know that the whole point is to give guys the opportunity to see them naked, then why not? Does it matter? Interesting question.

      Reply to Elizabeth Shore
      • Post authorKayla Lords

        It seems as if no one wants to call things what they are anymore because it’s going to piss someone off. Many guys like boobs and butts – so they look at them. Some women don’t have a problem showing that off for whatever their own reasons may be. I say let’s accept it for what it is and move on. The thing we have to educate people about is when a person crosses the line from voyeur (to a willing exhibitionist) into creepy, skeezy person who doesn’t understand consent – that’s where the real problem lies, in my opinion.

        Reply to Kayla Lords
  • Post authorMadeline Iva

    All I know is that those female ‘professional wrestlers’ are like muscular strippers who didn’t make it or something. Definitely a semi-sex worker industry.

    Reply to Madeline Iva

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