Summer School Goes Sexy at Would U


Don't be so quick to say no to Vince. Not without considering True Detective.

Don’t be so quick to say no to Vince. Not before considering True Detective.

By Alexa Day

Not that long ago, Jezebel started a new feature called Would U. I’m kind of in love with it.

Here’s the idea.

Jezebel bills Would U as “an academic forum” in which writer Ellie Shechet reveals her “gross crush of the week” and then asks us, the reading public, whether we’d be willing to have sex with that person. I’m all about that sort of academic exploration. You’ll recall that in recent weeks I suggested I’d be okay with tentacles (more than okay, honestly), and I’ve also taken an affirmative stance on (and under — heyo!) robots and sex with a coach in the room, watching and taking notes.

But what I love about Would U is that it makes this question specific.

Generally, when I’m asking myself — and then asking you — whether you’d consider sex with someone or another, I’m presuming that we are considering the most desirable example that class of people has to offer. In the case of robots, for example, I started our analysis with Yul Brynner’s Gunslinger from Westworld. I, of course, am perfectly comfortable with Gunslinger sex, and I’m also comfortable saying that more women are okay with Gunslinger sex than are not okay with it. (And it’s totally okay to not be okay with this. After all, things do go wrong in Westworld. Sometimes they go very wrong. One would want to have one’s pants on and pulled up when that happens.)

Would U takes this analysis further. The question is not “would you have sex with a bagillionaire?” It’s “would you have sex with Richard Branson?”

There’s a lot to think about, naturally, but Shechet lays out most of the variables so that we can make an informed decision on this important issue. She makes sure we know that Richard Branson has a puckish sense of humor to go with all that money. She shows us that Shia LaBeouf’s rat tail doesn’t always look filthy. She tells us that not everyone responds to the Hot Gorilla with an energetic no.

Shechet also offers readers something I don’t typically address in my own “would you” hypotheticals. She gives us the chance to say yes or no conditionally. We can trade sex with Richard Branson for a moon shot. We can demand that Shia cut that rat tail off.

Perhaps most importantly, I find myself answering the weekly Would U in the negative fairly often. For a woman who’s grown accustomed to answering “would you” questions with an unconditional yes, this is important. It means I’m broadening my horizons enough to discover gray areas.

That’s a good thing. Right?

So today I’m suggesting you indulge in some deep thinking and try out Would U. Enjoy the mental stretch!

And for the record, I’m a definite no to the Hot Gorilla, a definite no to Shia LaBeouf, a solid maybe for Vince Vaughn, and an absolute yes for Richard Branson and Robin Thicke.

If you’re not following Lady Smut, now is the time. Sure, we keep you sharp with all the sexy questions and such. But tomorrow, we’re going to hit you with the details about our sexy summer reading giveaway. You will definitely want to be in the know about that!

So get to following. And feel free to share your most shameful “would you” confessions in the comments. I mean, you must know by now that I am not going to judge you, right?

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2 Comments

  • Madeline Iva
    July 5, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    Would U with George Stephanopoulos? His wife described him the other day as a ‘sex symbol’. I was like ‘wha?’ I think there’s a whole category of men — that I’m like, “yeah, I would” but the conditional part is that I’d hate myself in the morning. And this includes every guy considered in the F***, Marry, Kill post I did on the cast of Entourage.

    • Alexa Day
      July 7, 2015 at 8:00 pm

      At least George is interesting! Interesting is what puts Richard Branson into the Yes column and keeps Channing Tatum and Benedict Cumberbatch out.

      I suspect I would say no to the gentlemen of Entourage, but I haven’t given it any real thought. Hm.

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