August 6, 2015

Skinny Dipping: *Best* Erotic Fun Evah!

Aiden turner poledark
Poldark goes for a wee swim in the cove.

by Madeline Iva

Readers, there are so many sensual pleasures in the summertime.  Home made ice tea with fresh mint from the garden.  Lawn croquet birthday parties with tart lemon-squares and raspberries. Mountain cabins all rustic and smelling of woodsmoke, swamped in summer morning mist, twenty degrees cooler than back in the city.  Tan lines are rivetingly attractive on most guys, emphasizing biceps and tushies. Sun-bathing is sensuousness itself, smearing ointments all about the skin. Flippy summer skirts are cute-ly sexy, while guys without shirts on are damn hot. Speaking of which…

Even now, when the heat is brutal, there’s something that feels so good (and maybe Isabelle Drake with all her sexy yard work snaps knows this) about the clean sweep of well mowed lawn, or clutching onto the sweaty back that’s been mowing the lawn.  But the best part of summer comes after building up that sweat, when you take a big plunge into the drink.  I’m talking the pool, the pond, the lake–because there is no sexier, nipple-hardening sensation than water against your naked skin.

Water polo, anyone? I had no *idea* water polo players were so fit.
Water polo, anyone? I had no *idea* water polo players were so fit.

Do you remember the first time you went skinny-dipping? I do.  Deprived of a swim suit, I felt aware of my slippery skin in a whole new way.  It was shocking and I had to wiggle around for fifteen minutes with pure delight.  I felt not only naked, but somehow *extra* naked.  It was divine.  Water rushing up between the legs makes one perk up and feel a bit more alive.  Bobbling breasts on the surface of H2o is a good thing.  Illicit skinny dipping is the best — you get the thrill seeking without actually doing anything horribly bad.

On a black night many years ago I went illicitly skinny dipping with my girl friend to cool off.  Once we were on the point of shivering in the cold pond and were coming out of the water we realized that on the shore were two naked men coming in.  They said hello, we said hello, our voices quietly carrying across the water.  We passed each other, picking our way very slowly through the intense dark.  It was so velvety black that aside from the impression that one of men had curly hair, all I could really see was the top of my friend’s glowing white shoulders.  I wondered if mine glowed as well.  It was all very civilized, and yet extremely primitive as well.  Then we could hear their quiet voices moving off into the center of the pond.  On the shore we felt around in the gritty dirt to find our clothes, until I realized I was feeling somebody’s wallet.  We’d found the men’s clothes, and had to move over about six feet to the left before I tripped on my girl friend’s sandals and we found our own.

There’s a long history of men swimming naked.  I recently read something about sea bathing back in the 18th century.  It sounds awfully cold, and horrible, like asking for salt water up your nose.  On the other hand this scene from A ROOM WITH A VIEW always refreshes my faith in humanity.

Of course, *everyone* remembers Mr. Darcy taking his little swim in the BBC version of Pride & Prejudice.  Different people have tried to imitate him since then, but that first dunk seemed both an attempt to quench and at the same time revel in the sensual passions he was experiencing for Miss Eliza Bennet.

You're not Colin Firth, but you're not bad. (Actually it's Elliot Cowan in LOST IN AUSTEN.)
You’re not Colin Firth, but you’re not bad. (Actually it’s Elliot Cowan in LOST IN AUSTEN.)

I’m actually a little surprised after reading a fair amount of erotic romance at how few scenes are conducted out of doors or in pools, or in any water at all.  Yet water is the great equalizer.  Any woman no matter how tall or large can wrap her legs around a guy and bobble about–not just the itty-bitty among us.

What about you? Read any good romance scenes that take place in the drink? Please do share…And what about skinny-dipping? Any fun stories to relate?

Meanwhile, follow us at Lady Smut.  We’re up to our necks in erotic bliss.  (splash!) Ahhhhhhh….

Cumberbitch does Darcy...
Cumberbitch does Darcy…


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  • Post authorbarbaramikula

    Here’s a little teaser in the water from my newest M/f BDSM Sextreme book, JINXX’S BIG BDSM ADVENTURE by Skye Michaels, available on Bookstrand. com. LOL – enjoy!

    They ordered a late lunch and settled in for the remainder of the sunny, breezy afternoon. After they had eaten, Troy pulled her up from the chaise and headed for the lazy river feature where they secured two huge inner tubes, hooked them together, and jumped in. The current carried them down the river under the various overhanging vegetation, through the hard pounding of the waterfall, and finally into a secluded rock grotto behind the waterfall. “I like this spot, subbie. Come here,” he commanded with the rough, dark voice she loved. Jinxx ducked down under the water and resurfaced inside Troy’s inner tube with her wet hair swept back off her face. “Ahhh, much better.” His mouth came down on hers while his hand migrated into the skimpy bottom of her bikini. Jinxx sighed. His hard, callused fingers gliding through her slit and over the clit that had been throbbing all afternoon made her jerk toward him. “Like that, do you, girl? This will have to be quick and quiet if you don’t want everyone at the pool to know what we’re doing in here.” He turned her around so her arms were locked over the top of the inner tube and her back was to him. His hands coasted down her sides taking the bottom of her bikini with them. He secured it over his wrist so it wouldn’t float on down the lazy river giving their secret away. Troy nuzzled and then nipped the back of her neck, and goose bumps ran down her spine. She felt him slip his bathing suit down and off as well. She nestled her bare butt up against his crotch and gave a suggestive wiggle, then she giggled. He pinched her butt. “No topping from the bottom, subbie.” He entered her smoothly from behind and began to pump into her slow and easy. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get enough of you, Jinxx. Never.”
    “I hope not, Troy.” She bumped her ass back into his stomach and held on to the tube for dear life as he continued the assault on her senses. She buried her mouth against the sun-warmed black rubber to muffle her groans as he ramped up his strokes. The cool breeze and the warm water gently rushing around them caressed her body as his hard cock pumped into her. This was a taste of heaven, paradise on earth. Could it get better than this? She bit down on the tube as her orgasm rushed through her. Thank goodness the tubes were actually tough truck tires. When the spasms started to ebb, she leaned back against his chest and turned her head to nuzzle and lick his neck as he came with a blast. He wrapped his arms around her and just held tight as the urgent spasms began to subside and his muscles eased. After a few minutes, his semi-erect cock began to slip from her body. She tried to clutch it back. ‘Oh, baby, that was amazing.”

    Reply to barbaramikula
    • Post authorMadeline Iva

      Well, I really set you up for that one, didn’t I? ; > This sounds GREAT —

      Reply to Madeline Iva
      • Post authorbarbaramikula

        You certainly did! LOL. Thanks, enjoy!

        Reply to barbaramikula
  • Post authorKel

    It’s funny, I think this is another place where something is broken in my head because I never see anything illicit about swimming naked, or at night, or even naked at night with mixed genders (having done all of the above together and separate at varying levels of sexiness, and the difference in the levels of sexiness was all in how the participants played with it – their attitudes -, and nothing to do with the actual situation).

    And while the concept is incredibly hot, the execution is less so. Water doesn’t provide a lot of surface to brace against. Then there’s sand. Or chlorine. Cement burn. Hitting your head on the side of the pool. Losing your grip and accidentally almost drowning yourself and your partner at the moment of orgasm. Falling off the edge of the bed it one thing, falling off the edge of the flotation device is a whole new bag…

    Which isn’t to say it can’t be written well, but it works best when your characters have inherent bonus abilities to get over the mundane details, because humans need a little help.

    • Post authorMadeline Iva

      If you’ve run up against these issues CLEARLY you’ve been doing your research, Kel! Hee-hee! Good for you.

      Well, what I like about skinny dipping is that it *can* be incredibly innocent — like the move above, but it can be more too. You’re so right, it all has to do with attitudes.

      And the illicit part is if skinny dipping or night swimming being forbidden is when it’s illegal in that spot, or illegal to night swim and you could get hauled in by the police or get a ticket or whatever…

      Hitting your head against the side of the pool is definitely something to be very careful about. I’ve never tried big floatation devices – sounds hysterical. As for bracing yourself, I find strong core muscles are essential combined with some shallow-ish water, which can be tricky in a pond or lake situation, depending where people are and where the drop off is…

      But you know what are great? Those little foam snakes — they’re long, but don’t get in the way and really help with buoyancy.

      Reply to Madeline Iva
  • Post authorElizabeth Shore

    I’ve gone skinny dipping once in my life and I thought it was only OK. It was fun for maybe the first 10 minutes but then, sadly, it lost its luster. It was at night – likely prime skinny dipping time – so that was fun. But I didn’t like the swirl of leaves or seaweed or God knows what circling my legs, and I didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t see said detritus. Naturally my mind conjured up images of snakes or, you know, piranahs or something, and there went the sexy fun. Plus, I had no towel to dry off and started getting cold.

    However, reading about it … now that’s fun. 🙂

    Reply to Elizabeth Shore
  • Post authorMadeline Iva

    Yeah, you gotta keep a firm reign on your imagination, that’s for sure. The time’s I’ve been illicitly skinny dipping it’s been so very completely totally dark. If I felt unsafe in anyway I’d be having major heebeejeebees.

    Reply to Madeline Iva

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