Posted in Musings, Relationships
January 20, 2016

The Curious Case Of All Those Dick Pics

Michelangelo's David in Florence TuscanyBy Elizabeth Shore

A friend of mine who was until recently in a committed relationship has sprouted her wings and joined Tinder. And my oh my, what a ride it’s been.

It’s a curious little app, Tinder. No time spent filling out boring lengthy profiles, trying to find the perfect balance of witty yet charming, sincere yet naughty. Pfft! Why bother? With Tinder it’s about the pic and only the pic. Slap up a few photos of yourself, or even link the Tinder app to your Facebook account. Then get ready to swipe.

For the uninitiated, here’s how it works. Start scrolling through photos of potential hook-ups. If you don’t like someone, swipe left. He’ll forever be discarded. But if you do like someone, swipe right. That person will see your profile and if he also swipes right, you two are a match! You can now connect through Tinder’s message app. Easy peasy, right?

Lots of people on Tinder are in it for the hook-up. They’re not looking for love, they’re looking for lust. Experts have even cautioned that the explosive use of Tinder and Bumble – a similar app – have made people less likely to commit to relationships. It’s the “grass is always greener” mentality, constantly thinking there’s somebody better out there than the one you’re currently with.

So, OK. There’s that. Probably fodder for another post. But if you are just looking for a quick shag, Tinder’s got it going on, right? If you think someone’s hot, and that someone thinks the same of you, chances are you can make some sparks together. Yet there’s a curious proclivity among Tinder users, at least from what I’ve observed via my friends, and that’s the habit guys seem to have of not being at all shy of sending pics of their dicks. And relatively early on into the “relationship” – for lack of a better word. I’m scratching my head here. What’s that all about?

Perhaps I’m in the minority, but I don’t think I want to see a pic of a guy’s dick so early on. Am I wrong? I’m drawn to other male characteristics of hotness – eyes, hands, face overall – but his (ahem) dick? Perhaps the thinking is that if all we’re doing is getting together for sex, perhaps I’d better be aware of the tools in the toolbox. See how big the hammer is and all that.

Certainly, in the case of a friend of mine, the pic was a deal breaker. His, ah, “member” was approximately the size of my thumb. The tip of it, that is. So, seeing that, my friend promptly blocked him. Case closed. But the whole incident has me puzzled. Perhaps the image below helps explain things:

Diff btwn men and women in mirror

If there’s any truth to the image – and I dare say there is – guys probably think sending a pic of their uniquely masculine anatomy is just what the (love) doctor ordered. We gals become enamored with the awesomeness and are ready to take a tumble. Or something like that. Truth is, since men are so visually oriented perhaps they think that we are as well. And we are. But, um, maybe just not quite so soon.

I don’t know. Perhaps I’m in the minority. Fess up, ladies. Do dick pics get your motor revved or do they make the battery go cold. Let us know in the comments below. And be sure to follow us on Lady Smut, where we always give you the full picture.



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  • Post authorKel

    So… the unsolicited dick pic.

    Well, I find it trashy, so I could see how it could be appealing in the right context… but I find bad poetry more fulfilling than meaningless sex, so a hookup potential is never going to be the right context for me. Also, I never want it to be the first time I see that particular penis. Sorry boys, if you’re sending me a picture of your penis in hopes it entices me, you’ve just failed a “do I want to stick this in my mouth” challenge. Now, if I’ve requested one… that’s a whole other thing.

    Think of it like the slush pile. I’m not going to slog through the losers in hopes of finding a winner on my own time. And certainly not for something that I can get from someone I actually *want* to see naked, or can purchase from people who are much, much prettier than amateurs in those situations where I can’t… I pay for porn for a reason, humans.

  • Post authorMadeline Iva

    A dick never reveals if a guy is a) fat b) bald c) poor. These are the things that men fear most. I think this is why they cling to the dick pick.

    But my understanding (via Amy Schumer interviewing a model) was that good looking women originally got guys to send dick picks as a way of laughing at them. Is that true? Because I mean, that scenario really makes sense to me.

    On the other hand, this one woman–if this reality tv show was to be believed–was all for a ‘meat check’ before going beyond the first date. https://ladysmut.com/2013/04/18/meat-checks-other-mayhem-on-find-me-my-man/

    Reply to Madeline Iva
  • Post authorKate

    LOL. Great post!

    Thank the living daylights I’m not in need of man meat (got my own at home and very happy with it, I am), but I know from my sister, who doesn’t even use Tinder but instead the old school “looking for a relationship” sites, that dick picks are common. She’s as stumped about it as you are and it’s the last thing she wants to see from a guy before they’ve even met!

    I do think the cartoon says it all—that and, perhaps, the guys hope that their targets will happily reciprocate with a boob shot. So, my thinking is that they’re dickheads, but probably also idiots too. Intelligence is sexy to me. Idiocy not so much.

    Oh, and I’ll admit to having done a little of “getting guys to show themselves for a laugh” with my gal pals years ago. It was pre-smartphone and so done in the flesh, so to speak. It still astounds me how easy it was to get a guy to drop his pants and let us take a gander. Yep, I’m thinking they must think it’s their best feature. So sad.

    ~ Kate

    Reply to Kate
  • Post authorMadeline Iva

    Kate you have confirmed my thesis! Thank you!

    Reply to Madeline Iva
  • Post authorrvraiment

    A thoroughly entertaining read. Needless to say (I hope) I’ve never sent a dick-pic that wasn’t solicited and that wasn’t solicited by someone I knew and loved. Overall, men don’t get what a woman is actually looking for, whilst it’s a common perception among men that women, essentially, are primarily interested in the size of a man’s penis and the size of his bank account. Neither are usually very substantial, but a dick pic is easier (?) perhaps than a picture of his bank balance. And, yes, there is an element of that immature, ‘I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours’ that harks back to our childhoods. Some clearly see it as a means of ‘cutting to the chase’.

    Reply to rvraiment

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