As the late great Joan Rivers used to say, Can we talk? I don’t want to over share, but we’ve gotten to know each other over the years, right? And I’ve got something to confess. I recently lost my virginity.
My waxing virginity.
Now, to be clear, I’ve had plenty of lips waxes. I get one pretty much every month, in fact. But I’m not talking about the little strip above the lip. No, siree. I’m talking about going bald down below. In the nether regions. The full monty, not a hair left, 100% Brazilian bikini wax. I’ve had it done, and I’ve lived to tell.
Granted, many of you are no thinking, aaaaand….? Is there a story here? Because you’ve had it done, too, right, and probably think it’s no big deal? But for the uninitiated, for those (like me) who were in virgin territory when it came to waxing your lady bits, let me lay the groundwork. First, if you’ve got any inhibitions, any grain or scrap or modicum of modesty, check it at the door. It has no place in the waxing world. Your esthetician is going to be poking around areas where only your gyno is allowed. You’re going to have to spread your legs and spread ’em wide. You’re going to have to expose your bum cheeks to her. And she’s going to hurt you.
So, yeah. It hurts. Having your pubic hair ripped out by the roots isn’t what anyone would call a picnic. For the full Brazilian you get all the hair around your vag ripped out, as well as the hair lining your bum cheeks. Don’t think you have hair there? You do. And in order for her to get at it you have to pull your knees to your chest and let her come knocking on your backdoor with a hot pot o’ wax. Then, when you think it’s finally all done and you can shuffle out the door with your dignity in tatters, not so fast. There are always a few stubborn hairs, but those suckers don’t get a reprieve or anything. No, no. They get plucked out the old-fashioned way – with tweezers! This is where you need to exercise restraint and, tempting though it may be, not assault your esthetician.
OK, then. It’s finally done. I’m bald. I’m seeing a part of my body that hasn’t been exposed since I was 13 or so years old. Getting to that state was a special kind of hell. But guess what? I’m absolutely loving it.
I compared notes with one of my best girlfriends, Bella. She’s the one who dragged me to it and naturally wanted to know what I thought afterward. Here’s the truth: I already know I’m going to do it again. Being denuded down there makes me feel sexy because it makes me feel clean. This isn’t to suggest that I felt “dirty” before. But I’ve never been a fan of a hirsute body, be it a woman’s or a man’s. By ridding myself of something I disliked about my own looks, I feel sexy. I feel confident. I’ve achieved inner beauty by way of a Brazilian.
Sound crazy? Perhaps. But I came across an article by Geertje Couwenbergh called Beauty, Bling & Bliss that made me realize my inner beauty feelings through external means are perfectly in synch. In her article, Geertje states, “Saying that true beauty is in the inside is just as silly as saying it is on the outside.” Integration of both internal and external beauty is the key to achieving the true beauty ideal. She proposes a makeover of the way we view beauty that she says is the “most wholesome.” Those ideals include being both grateful and confident, appreciating what you have instead of mourning what you don’t, and behaving stylishly even when you’re alone.
In other words, regardless of whether anyone, ever (besides me, that is) sees my hairless hoo-hoo, I keep on keeping on with it because I like how it makes me feel. I feel sexy, and confident, and I exude my good feelings as I’m walking the streets of NYC. And maybe, because I’m feeling so good, I do something nice for someone. And then they do something nice for someone else. And so on and so on. Making the world a better place one Brazilian at a time. 🙂
Elizabeth Shore writes both contemporary and historical erotic romance. Her recent releases include Hot Bayou Nights and The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires. Look for her erotic historical novella, Desire Rising, coming soon from The Wild Rose Press.