Wild Wicked Weekend: Sex Position Gumby and Other Delights
Bring together 130 romance authors, readers, bloggers, publishers and promoters with five male models and what do you get? Wild Wicked Weekend (WWW), that’s what. I promised you a recap of this event. Well, pour yourself a martini and send your mind to San Antonio with me – the scene of the crime, as they say.
This three day party was launched a few years ago by the Belle Femme Authors, Desiree Holt, Brenna Zinn, Dalton Diaz, Cerise DeLand, and Samantha Cayto. The event offers the perfect ratio of an agenda and free time for spontaneous frivolity. As someone who goes to a bazillion conferences and conventions, my hat is off to the Belle Femme authors for pulling off that right amount of structure.
And, oh, my God, it’s fun. Not like, oh-that-was-amusing, I’m-glad-I-got-a-break-from-real-life fun. I’m talking an unfettered, unapologetic, kahlua fudge sundae, throw-your-panties-in-the-air blast. The kind of mind releasing time we all crave, where you can sink into being a little silly, less inhibited, and (probably) a lot too loud with girlfriends – new best friends you met an hour ago but who totally got you from the word “hello.” A few author friends kept telling me WWW was like this. But hearing WWW is a party like no other, and experiencing it is the difference between being told about a book and reading one.
In addition to making lots of new fabulous friends, let’s start with five obvious reasons for why this event must be experienced first hand . . . our dates for WWW.
No one can accuse me of burying the lede.
Throughout the weekend, our five male hosts entertained us, hung out and, in general, ensured we forgot the real world. They graced us with a Magic Mike-esque show, lapdance lessons, and bodypainting (on them, not us). It was like having five boyfriends (without the sex) who thought you were cute even hung over and having a bad hair day.
But that’s not all. Throughout the weekend, we were treated to a female impersonator show, a trip to BDSM dungeon, The Lair, and games — oh, so many games. Of course, when authors get together there’s also lots of talk about books, too. A short book fair was offered, and over 100 gift baskets were raffled off, with proceeds going to Wounded Warrior and Animal Rescue.
Each lunch and dinner had a decade theme (40’s, 50’s, 60’s or 70’s), where attendees competed in a costume contest for prizes. Gawd, I miss the 1970s — all those clothes resembling disco balls and we weren’t afraid of looking sexy.
But, besides getting to spend time with some fabulous women, my hands-down favorite part of WWW was Sex Position Gumby. I’m soooo stealing this idea for New Year’s Eve. I was one of the lucky one’s whose number (from my raffle ticket) was called to play. My ticket ended in “69” so clearly fate was involved. This is where “what happens at Wild Wicked, stays at Wild Wicked” finds true meaning.
That’s me below on a bed with Taylor Cole, acting out an erotic scene, read outloud by fantastic Dalton Diaz, from Brenna Zinn’s latest (hot!) release, The Omega Team: Precious Cargo (Kindle Worlds Novella) (which I incidentally read on the plane on the way to WWW). How’s THAT for kismet? The audience provided the sound effects, while Taylor and I, well, just take a look . . .
Note: That’s a ‘prop’ bra, and not mine. Sigh. But that’s really Taylor, and those are his real arms. I checked many times for you . . . ya know, just to be doubly sure you would receive an accurate description of the hard, rippling, steely muscle. If my husband is reading this, remember our talk about “research,” K?
All this fun required stopping for sustenance often to keep up our strength. My two WWW food groups: alcohol and guacamole.
In fact, those olives and guac may have been the only green thing I ate all weekend.
Maintaining one’s energy during WW is imperative given you can expect to get about four hours of sleep the entire weekend. Who could snooze when there were midnight games of Crimes Against Humanity, poker and Texas Hold’em (mostly held in the lobby of our hotel, the historic Menger Hotel)? We kept the night staff entertained. You could say WWW women don’t arrive to the Menger with a governor. We were a little loud.
Really, really late one night, a group of us skulked around the older section of the Menger looking for ghosts. Rumor says you can capture them in pictures through mirrors.
A ghost has been reported walking between those two doors pictured below, moving from one suite to the other. Sadly, he didn’t make an appearance that night.
Given what a ‘fraidy cat I am, I was shocked at my disappointment that not a single paranormal entity came out to say “boo.” Maybe we scared him with our earlier screaming laughter in the ballroom? (See Sex Position Gumby above.)
Oh, well. There’s always next year. Yes, I’m going back. I can’t miss the Gumby games, after all. The male models have nothing to do with it. Nope. Nothing at all.
P.S. I would have shown you more of the wild women of WWW, but they have a strict policy of allowing attendees to maintain anonymity, and remember: “what happens at Wild Wicked, stays at Wild Wicked.” Good to know. Otherwise, videos of Sex Position Gumby would surely make YouTube stars of us all.
P.S.S. A big shout-out hug to Carlene, a Lady Smut fan, who I got to meet in person at WWW! Thanks for reading, and let me know if I missed anything about WWW, okay? XO
Elizabeth SaFleur writes contemporary erotic romance and she’s not afraid to get graphic about it — “it” being the smex, the BDSM, or Washington, DC society, which she regularly features in her series, the Elite Doms of Washington.