Wild Wicked Weekend: Sex Position Gumby and Other Delights

11 Mar

By Elizabeth SaFleur

Bring together 130 romance authors, readers, bloggers, publishers and promoters with five male models and what do you get? Wild Wicked Weekend (WWW), that’s what. I promised you a recap of this event. Well, pour yourself a martini and send your mind to San Antonio with me – the scene of the crime, as they say.

This three day party was launched a few years ago by the Belle Femme Authors, Desiree Holt, Brenna Zinn, Dalton Diaz, Cerise DeLand, and Samantha Cayto. The event offers the perfect ratio of an agenda and free time for spontaneous frivolity. As someone who goes to a bazillion conferences and conventions, my hat is off to the Belle Femme authors for pulling off that right amount of structure.

And, oh, my God, it’s fun. Not like, oh-that-was-amusing, I’m-glad-I-got-a-break-from-real-life fun. I’m talking an unfettered, unapologetic, kahlua fudge sundae, throw-your-panties-in-the-air blast. The kind of mind releasing time we all crave, where you can sink into being a little silly, less inhibited, and (probably) a lot too loud with girlfriends – new best friends you met an hour ago but who totally got you from the word “hello.”  A few author friends kept telling me WWW was like this. But hearing WWW is a party like no other, and experiencing it is the difference between being told about a book and reading one.

In addition to making lots of new fabulous friends, let’s start with five obvious reasons for why this event must be experienced first hand . . . our dates for WWW.

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Axl Goode, Charles Paz, Blake Labare, Taylor Cole, Kelli

No one can accuse me of burying the lede.

Throughout the weekend, our five male hosts entertained us, hung out and, in general, ensured we forgot the real world. They graced us with a Magic Mike-esque show, lapdance lessons, and bodypainting (on them, not us). It was like having five boyfriends (without the sex) who thought you were cute even hung over and having a bad hair day.

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“Yes, you may fingerpaint me.”

Forgive the blurriness, I was receiving my own lap-dance across the aisle.

Forgive the blurriness, I was receiving my own lap-dance across the aisle.

But that’s not all. Throughout the weekend, we were treated to a female impersonator show, a trip to BDSM dungeon, The Lair, and games — oh, so many games. Of course, when authors get together there’s also lots of talk about books, too. A short book fair was offered, and over 100 gift baskets were raffled off, with proceeds going to Wounded Warrior and Animal Rescue.

Each lunch and dinner had a decade theme (40’s, 50’s, 60’s or 70’s), where attendees competed in a costume contest for prizes.  Gawd, I miss the 1970s — all those clothes resembling disco balls and we weren’t afraid of looking sexy.

My 1970s costume for WWW. Disco ball, anyone?

Disco ball, anyone?

But, besides getting to spend time with some fabulous women, my hands-down favorite part of WWW was Sex Position Gumby. I’m soooo stealing this idea for New Year’s Eve.  I was one of the lucky one’s whose number (from my raffle ticket) was called to play. My ticket ended in “69” so clearly fate was involved.  This is where “what happens at Wild Wicked, stays at Wild Wicked” finds true meaning.

That’s me below on a bed with Taylor Cole, acting out an erotic scene, read outloud by fantastic Dalton Diaz, from Brenna Zinn’s latest (hot!) release, The Omega Team: Precious Cargo (Kindle Worlds Novella) (which I incidentally read on the plane on the way to WWW). How’s THAT for kismet? The audience provided the sound effects, while Taylor and I, well, just take a look . . .12074970_893175390797471_4795582423637394908_n

Note: That’s a ‘prop’ bra, and not mine. Sigh. But that’s really Taylor, and those are his real arms. I checked many times for you . . . ya know, just to be doubly sure you would receive an accurate description of the hard, rippling, steely muscle. If my husband is reading this, remember our talk about “research,” K?

All this fun required stopping for sustenance often to keep up our strength. My two WWW food groups: alcohol and guacamole.

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In fact, those olives and guac may have been the only green thing I ate all weekend.

Maintaining one’s energy during WW is imperative given you can expect to get about four hours of sleep the entire weekend. Who could snooze when there were midnight games of Crimes Against Humanity, poker and Texas Hold’em (mostly held in the lobby of our hotel, the historic Menger Hotel)? We kept the night staff entertained. You could say WWW women don’t arrive  to the Menger with a governor. We were a little loud.

Really, really late one night, a group of us skulked around the older section of the Menger looking for ghosts. Rumor says you can capture them in pictures through mirrors.

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A ghost has been reported walking between those two doors pictured below, moving from one suite to the other. Sadly, he didn’t make an appearance that night.

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Given what a ‘fraidy cat I am, I was shocked at my disappointment that not a single paranormal entity came out to say “boo.” Maybe we scared him with our earlier screaming laughter in the ballroom? (See Sex Position Gumby above.)

Oh, well. There’s always next year. Yes, I’m going back. I can’t miss the Gumby games, after all. The male models have nothing to do with it. Nope. Nothing at all.

P.S. I would have shown you more of the wild women of WWW, but they have a strict policy of allowing attendees to maintain anonymity, and remember: “what happens at Wild Wicked, stays at Wild Wicked.” Good to know. Otherwise, videos of Sex Position Gumby would surely make YouTube stars of us all.

P.S.S. A big shout-out hug to Carlene, a Lady Smut fan, who I got to meet in person at WWW! Thanks for reading, and let me know if I missed anything about WWW, okay? XO

*****

Elizabeth SaFleur writes contemporary erotic romance and she’s not afraid to get graphic about it — “it” being the smex, the BDSM, or Washington, DC society, which she regularly features in her series, the Elite Doms of Washington.

28 Responses to “Wild Wicked Weekend: Sex Position Gumby and Other Delights”

  1. Carlene Love March 11, 2016 at 9:53 am #

    Elizabeth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You just made this Lady Smut fangirl’s entire month! Oh my goodness. Well, I must say you covered everything in wickedly wonderful fashion. The only thing missing is a note about how scared we ladies were to go up and get those lap dance lessons from the guys. You were a saving grace up there doing your thing! Talk about inspiration, xox. Am I the only one who had bruised knees the next morning from those darn lessons? 😉

    Like

    • madeline iva March 11, 2016 at 10:29 am #

      Hi Carlene sweetie! Come guest blog with us—email me, k? madelineiva@gmail.com

      Like

      • Carlene Love March 11, 2016 at 10:43 am #

        Oh, thank you, Madeline! xoxoxo I would be honored to do that.

        Like

    • Elizabeth SaFleur March 11, 2016 at 10:44 am #

      It was such a pleasure to meet you — and get a little wild. Yes, it took some doing to get the lapdancing started. Next year, I’d pull people up sooner because once it got started…wow. Eventually your knees get used to it. 😉

      Like

      • Carlene Love March 11, 2016 at 10:50 am #

        We’re not even there anymore and still the things you’ll only hear at WWW continue to flow: “Eventually your knees get used to it.” I am in Lady Smut quote heaven.

        Like

      • DaltonDiaz March 11, 2016 at 5:52 pm #

        🙂 🙂 🙂

        Like

  2. madeline iva March 11, 2016 at 10:28 am #

    Two food groups — lol! Okay, I have to go tweet this.

    Like

  3. DaltonDiaz March 11, 2016 at 10:30 am #

    Elizabeth, you have made my day today, AND you saved the lap dance lessons event at the conference! Teach us! Teach us!

    Yeah, my husband saw that pic of you and Taylor and walked away mumbling something under his breath that definitely wasn’t the word “research.” It was my bra…
    In my defense,
    a) The bra was new
    b) it would have been more embarrassing to ask someone for their bra as a prop
    c) holy shite, I now have a pic with Taylor Cole wearing my bra on his head

    Like

    • Madeline Iva March 11, 2016 at 10:35 am #

      That picture is classic.

      Like

    • Elizabeth SaFleur March 11, 2016 at 10:46 am #

      Oh, I hope I didn’t get you in trouble. (I think you should frame that picture. ;-)) I’d be honored to get a lapdancing “thing” going next year. Let’s do it!

      Like

      • DaltonDiaz March 11, 2016 at 5:56 pm #

        LOL!
        We’ll start posting in January for everyone to get their knees in shape!

        Like

      • Elizabeth SaFleur March 11, 2016 at 6:51 pm #

        We can call it the “knee challenge?” 😉

        Like

      • Carlene Love March 11, 2016 at 7:23 pm #

        Maybe we can issue knee pads in the swag bags? I think that would be a classic WWW move. 😀

        Like

    • Carlene Love March 11, 2016 at 10:53 am #

      Rock. Stars. The lot of you. xoxoxoxoxo

      Like

      • Elizabeth Shore March 11, 2016 at 3:40 pm #

        Thanks much, Carlene! We do love our readers.

        xoxo 😉

        Like

      • Elizabeth SaFleur March 11, 2016 at 6:52 pm #

        Hitting the “love” button!

        Like

      • Elizabeth SaFleur March 11, 2016 at 4:11 pm #

        Right back at ya, Carlene!

        Like

      • Carlene Love March 11, 2016 at 7:25 pm #

        Hugs to you too, Elizabeth S!! Most of the time I’m so good about quietly fan-girling over you ladies in the privacy of my home. But then I get to WWW and wham-o, one of you are THERE in person! Le sigh…

        Like

  4. Elizabeth Shore March 11, 2016 at 3:42 pm #

    Holy kahlua sundae! Note to self: Put WWW on calendar. Thanks for the recap, Elizabeth.

    Like

    • Elizabeth SaFleur March 11, 2016 at 4:11 pm #

      My pleasure to do the research! 😉 It would be fun to see you there next year.

      Like

  5. Melissa Keir March 11, 2016 at 6:49 pm #

    It was fabulous to get to meet you! You totally rocked the 70’s outfit! And I know because I got to dance with you a little ala Village People. We are going to have a whole blog on things overheard at WWW16!

    Like

    • Elizabeth SaFleur March 11, 2016 at 6:52 pm #

      Thank you. It was so awesome to “do” the 70s with you! I loved that decade.

      Like

  6. nicolacameronwrites March 11, 2016 at 7:27 pm #

    It was so much fun! My one disappointment was that I was experiencing, how shall I put this politely, the run-up to my Special Lady Time (aka retaining enough water to end the Texas drought) and couldn’t enjoy the weekend as much as I’d hoped. But next year, I am there with a vengeance — WITH COSTUMES!

    Like

    • Elizabeth SaFleur March 12, 2016 at 3:08 pm #

      Oh, no! Well let’s hope next year is better timed for you. And, yes, costumes!!

      Like

  7. April aka Tink March 11, 2016 at 9:46 pm #

    Love it! Hanging with you was a huge highlight and can’t wait to hang again next year! Now I understand what the great Laurie O was always raving about!

    Like

    • Elizabeth SaFleur March 12, 2016 at 3:07 pm #

      I was soooo happy to meet and hang with you! But then I knew Laurie would be surrounded by people as wonderful as she is. XOXO

      Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Lady Smutters Out in the Real World | Lady Smut - October 10, 2016

    […] year, Elisabeth SaFleur is taking another wild ride at the Wild Wicked Weekend in San Antonio while a veritable passel of Lady Smug bloggers will be present at the Romantic Times […]

    Like

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