Reunited – Does It Feel So Good?

27 Apr

By Elizabeth Shore

Doubtless as you’ve traveled on this path of life, you’ve discovered some things that are inherently a VERY BAD IDEA. Like telling grandma about a kink party you attended over the weekend. Getting bombed out of your mind the night before a big job interview. Joining a denomic cult. You get the jist. Some people would add “reuniting with your ex” to that hallowed list. You broke up for a good reason, after all, and there’s a strong probability that those reasons didn’t suddenly get up and go away. Or that your ex transformed himself and become a different person. At least not entirely, anyway. “I yam what I yam,” as Popeye would say. And he is who he is, and some things about who he is are what caused you to call it quits in the first place. So reuniting with your ex might well be a straight roadmap to Heartbreak Hotel.

Again.

But not so fast! some would argue. There’s a second opinion firmly ensconced in the “reuniting is a great idea” camp, and as long as you follow the sage advice of counselors and others it can be the best thing since Peaches and Herb first started telling us how it feels so good.

We’re celebrating this week the release of our own Kiersten Hallie Krum’s debut novel, Wild on the Rocks. One of the themes in her sexy romantic suspense deals with former flames reuniting. The odds of it being successful are stacked against it, but on occasion it can work – if you go about it the right way.

Speaking of…what is that “right way,” exactly? What words of wisdom from those in the know can help make a successful reunion the second time around? Well, being the intrepid LadySmut blogger that I am, and wanting to provide intel for our savvy readers, I came across a few gems of advice that I’m sharing here. It’s up to you all to decide whether it’s a bunch of hooey or if you think it’s worth a try.

Author and relationship expert Lisa Steadman points out that first and foremost, it’s important to identify whether you’re getting back together for the right reasons. If you’re simply scared or tired of being lonely, or haven’t found any promising new relationship prospects, those are all BAD reasons for getting back togeher with your ex. They’re easy reasons to be sure, but not smart ones, because none of those reasons address why you broke up in the first place.

Her second piece of advice is that you must be willing to leave the past behind. Did you break up because he cheated on you?  If so, but you’re still willing to give the relationship another try, you’ve got to leave the dirt behind. It’s never going to work if you keep flinging mud pies at him about the past whenever you two have an argument. The past has to stay firmly ensconced in the past, and forgiveness is an essential ingredient on the road to reuniting.

Similar experts had similar advice. The interesting thing is how many more articles I came across about why you shouldn’t reunite versus those who encourage you to give it go. It’s pointed out that while the two of you have been separted, one or both may have dipped your wick in another flame. Are you going to talk about it? Be prepared for the answers if you’re going to ask the questions. And if you do hear that he’s slept with someone else while you’be been apart, are you going to be okay with it or is jealousy going to eat at you like chugging down a bottle of Drano?

These are all salient points to ponder, but why make it tough on yourself? Feed your mind a sexy, suspenseful story about aWildOnTheRocks-KindleWorldsSize-PROMO reuniting couple in Kirsten’s Wild on the Rocks. It may not offer you the advice you need for your own situation, but it’s a heck of a wild ride while you’re figuring it all out.

 

 

 

 

3 Responses to “Reunited – Does It Feel So Good?”

  1. elfahearn April 27, 2016 at 11:36 am #

    Whenever my 2nd husband behaves badly, I dream that somehow I ended up re-married to the first hubby. Quel nightmare!

    Like

  2. madeline iva April 27, 2016 at 10:32 am #

    How interesting that so many experts issue warnings — because reunited romances are so crazy popular!

    One advantage reunion books have is that the two already know each other so well. No ‘stranger danger’ here, but the same kind of beginning romance/sexual tensions still apply.

    Kristin Higgins did a good reunited romance I thought — MY ONE AND ONLY. Boy some critics (I’m looking at you Dear Author) hated the book and thought that Higgins had created a heroine in which the break-up was all her fault, and she had to eat crow through the whole book. They thought it was giving the guy too much of a pass, etc.

    But when I read the book, I was really moved. The woman had some real serious issues left over from her f***ed up mother, and while she was young, these issues seriously impacted her marriage and her ability to be intimate with someone else. It’s when she’s older and more mature that she can negotiate these issues, and has more patience and strength to deal as she moves in close to this man again. That’s how *I* saw the book–it had a very female centric focus, yes, but having had a crazy mother, etc. I was with her every step of the way. Maybe for this reason, I was relating in a different way from other readers…

    Anyway, aside from Kiersten Hallie Krum’s book, if you’re looking for reunion romances, I recommend that one.

    Like

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