Let's Do Something Really STUPID! Do Vegas Weddings Ever Work Out?
by Madeline Iva
You went to Vegas and got married while you were there!
???? your friends say.
Here are the five top reasons people actually get married in Vegas:
2) One person REALLY wants to get married and the other just doesn’t see that person as someone they want to commit their life to. But at this point in the evening he/she is just drunk off his/her ass, so OKAY!
I feel fairly safe in assuming that most of these marriages do not last. I would back up that assertion by sharing this QUICK VEGAS ANNULMENT WEBSITE. And hey, Kittens! You only have to pay 1/2 up front. 🙂
3) We have no money!
Which is interesting, if you think about it. Because what *is* Vegas but a place to gamble and spend money? So if you don’t have any money for a wedding, what the f**k are you doing in Vegas? Why not just elope?—and go visit some romantic city that’s raison d’etre is NOT emptying your pockets?
4) It’s Tacky, it’s Trashy, and I don’t caaaaaaaaaare!
For some people the ethos of Vegas is one that expresses their innermost F**k it, Bitch! zeitgeist. For these unique and charismatic individuals, the question is not why get married in Vegas, the question is: why get married anywhere else? Where else can you get married by an Elvis impersonator?
5) Because: REASONS!
You’re in love, but no one said it’d be easy. You’ve got some very good reasons not to get married at home with the people you’d expect to be there — here are just a few simple examples:
A) You hate your family
I’ve seen this in action. The bride’s family was bazonkers crazy. So she didn’t invite them to her wedding. It was a beautiful wedding as a result, but man, that’s cold. Vegas is the kinder/gentler option if you can’t stick the dagger in your crazy-ass relative’s hearts.
B) Your family hates him
I’ve seen this. The toasts–man, the toasts were harsh when it came to the groom. The bride has amnesia from that time. Seriously, she doesn’t remember any of the toasts from her wedding. But we do. The alternative to wedding PTSD? Vegas.
C) His family hates you
I’ve seen this too. Our friends got engaged, but they never got married. She hated her family, (see above) and his family hated her. Enough time goes by and then they just start saying they’re married. Our reaction: ??????? (see above). A Vegas wedding probably would have been just as good an option.
D) Your families hate each other
200 people at this one wedding we went to, all there just to create a buffer between the mother and father of the bride who were most un-amicably divorced. Vegas would have been cheaper.
Which, if you stop to think about it, adds all this deeper meaning to a wedding. Not only are people there to celebrate your love, they’re willing to set aside bitter differences and the past–if only for a day–because why? Because they love you.
That said, some of us know better than to assume our families will ‘behave’ and therefore:
But Vegas weddings have started to fall off. (Oh no!!!) The financial crisis of 2008 didn’t help, but Vegas Wedding Experts site people marrying when older (and therefore less impulsive and drunk?) as one reason. Another reason is that people are simply marrying less, the wimps.
Not to fear–the Vegas people are on it. To boost business they have a plan. Two words: Gay weddings!
Because if you’re gay and you come from a family (as most gay people do) then you’re possibly struggling with one or more of reasons Number Five. If so, here are several gay wedding chapels in Vegas. But does this mean that in the future Vegas Weddings will become…tasteful?
ONE MORE REASON TO GET MARRIED IN VEGAS:
6) You’re on the RUN:
If you want to glory in the vicarious fallout of a Vegas Wedding implosion, then Kiersten Hallie Krum’s book WILD ON THE ROCKS is for you. Lovers reunited post-Vegas and on the run – (isn’t it yummy?) as they face danger and adventure in Barefoot Bay.
And if you actually decide to get married in Vegas, here are some helpful TIPS. For instance, do you only speak a foreign language? No problem! Vegas will find the right wedding setting for you, and, presumably, translators.
Do you like step-by-step instructions? Here’s a great website guiding you through how to elope in Vegas. The final step: Break the news to all your friends and family. Yeah, we can just see the co-mingled expressions of shock and fake joy on their faces now.
So follow us to Lady Smut, cause we’re going to the chapel–chapel of lurv, that is.
And since we’re all friends here — know anyone who did the Vegas wedding thing? Even a friend of a friend? Tell us, are they together now? I’m dying to hear from you.
Madeline Iva writes fantasy, paranormal, and contemporary romance. Her novella ‘Sexsomnia’ is available in our LadySmut anthology HERE, and her fantasy romance, WICKED APPRENTICE, will be out Fall, 2016.