July 12, 2016

The White Zone Is For Picking Up Passengers: Hot Airport Sex

I’m on a cross-country trip today, so I’ll have to spend some time in one of my favorite places. While I finish packing, join me in a flashback? I’ll catch up with you all next week.

By Alexa Day

I hate flying. Airfare’s out of control. That position you have to assume in the scanner machine – I don’t know, isn’t that exactly the posture of those people in horror movies who are about to be crushed by something huge? The whole experience has driven me to road trips. I only fly when I absolutely have to.

So when I had to fly for the Christmas holiday, I remembered the very best thing about air travel: the airport itself. Leaving the hell of TSA screening behind and heading off toward the concourses is like that scene in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy opens the door of her home post-tornado and discovers that the world is made of Technicolor. The airport has a magic all its own.

First, I make it a point to hit the airport bar. You know the song, “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere”? Well, the airport bar is “somewhere.”

After I’ve had my welcome-to-vacation beer (or beers), it’s time to settle in for some nice man-watching along the concourse. I’m not sure what makes the airport a haven for hot guys. Maybe I’m just being exposed to a wider cross-section of men on the concourse, and I’m seeing not only the most attractive men who are coming back home but hotties from out of town, as well as fine gentlemen making connections. Maybe I’m just relaxed after the TSA nightmare, and my rose-colored glasses just make everyone look hot. Maybe it’s the high concentration of uniforms – both flight crew and military are abundant in the good ol’ airport. Whatever the cause, my last few trips to the airport have turned up a lot of … inspiration … for this erotic romance writer.

While I was hanging out at the Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta, contemplating The Men of D Concourse and sharing my observations with the Twitterverse, I found myself in this rather interesting situation.

Because I’m one of those who can’t just leave work at the office, I let my imagination explore the practical possibilities of this. Not for me, of course. For a fortuitous heroine with the guts to do more than stare slyly at Saddle Shoes and the well-heeled Gosling clone. Sparks are sure to fly in the potent mixture of anonymity and stranger danger that fuels modern American air travel. On the one hand, we have all bonded in some way through the shared TSA experience. On the other hand, since we probably won’t see each other again after this interlude on the D Concourse, we needn’t ruin these special moment with names. Add the time pressure that dominates air travel, and voila! Instant sexual tension.

But what would a lucky woman do if things started to go very well for herself and Saddle Shoes and the Gosling clone? What if things started to go well enough to include the tall hot blond?

Well, let’s be honest. There’s plenty that new friends can do right there on the D Concourse. Sure, people are all over the place, but they’re preoccupied with other things. They’re moving briskly along, trying to get to their gates or the train or whatever. They might not even notice three or four people becoming better acquainted as long as they all keep their clothes on.

Those not inclined toward exhibitionism have a couple of other options. There’s the airport lounge – you know, the ones coach flyers like me only hear about – with the deep comfortable chairs and a luxuriant shower. I imagine it’s quiet enough in the Admirals’ Club to enjoy a hushed game of I Never and some nice dirty talk.

Long layover? No trouble.
Long layover? No trouble.

There’s something to be said for real privacy, though. For that, you’d need a sleep pod.

The sleep pod is a relatively recent travel innovation. Although air travelers have been sleeping at the airport for years (I myself have spent many hours asleep on my duffel bag), the sleep pod is specifically designed for that purpose. Some of them look like the cryopods in Alien. Some of them look like the boxes you get action figures in. But Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson Airport has five little mini-suites on the B Concourse. They look like tiny hotel rooms. They’re not huge, but I think they’d offer three – or four – people more than enough space to really get to know each other.

I didn’t know about the Minute Suites on my Christmas trip. Even if I had, they were two concourses away. Kind of a long trip for a short layover.

But now I know there are sleep pods on B Concourse, hot guys on the D Concourse … and The Varsity on the C Concourse. I might be ready to move in to the Atlanta airport. I wonder what the TSA will have to say about that?

Coffee, tea, or Lady Smut? Why not all three? Follow us. It’s still the safest way to travel.

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  • Post authorKiersten Hallie Krum

    I’m fascinated by the idea of the sleep pods. I daydream of the day I can afford to take a long flight in one of those posh plane sleep seats. These sleep pods look like the next best thing. Lord knows, I’ve done my fair share of sleeping in airports (once memorably, in a half sized phone booth, but then, I was 16 at the time).

    That said, I think I’ve been doing airport waiting wrong. Usually I stake out a space by the gate and set up shop. I’m always afraid I’ll miss some important announcement about the flight. But I much prefer the idea of hitting the bar and people watching. Must try this on my next trip.

    Reply to Kiersten Hallie Krum
    • Post authorAlexa Day

      Oh, yeah, the lie-flat bed! I dream of those, too — the commercials make them look soo comfy, especially in comparison with the usual inflight sleep experience.

      I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve started scheduling longer layovers so that I can have that extra beer before flight time. The airport bar has some of the most expensive booze money can buy (hotel bar is only slightly more expensive), but between the high concentration of uniforms and the built-in conversation, I don’t mind kicking in a couple of extra dollars for a drink.

      You’re not wrong to be attentive to flight details, though — I came awfully close to missing one of mine this way!

      Reply to Alexa Day
  • Post authorElizabeth Shore

    Awesome post, Alexa! We have much in common for our travel routines. I, too, get the hell of the TSA check as far behind me as quickly as possible and head straight for the bar. Watching people walk past me is where the real fun begins. Who are these people? Where are they going? Why are they traveling? It’s all fascinating fuel for the imagination.

    Sleep pods are so interesting. There used to be an entire floor of them in the Empire State Building, of all places. Oh, the scenes we could drum up in our heads that take place in a sleep pod! Quick, get me another beer. 🙂

    Reply to Elizabeth Shore
    • Post authorAlexa Day

      Honestly, I think the airport bar is singlehandedly saving air travel.

      I wish I’d known about the pod-suites at Atlanta; I’d have tried to hit B Concourse to have a look at one of them. Oh, well. Maybe next trip.

      I definitely want to see one of the cryopod-type things, though. Yeah, possibilities abound. 🙂

      The international concourse is my absolute favorite. I love looking out the window at the tail fins and playing Name That Airline!

      Reply to Alexa Day
  • Post authorMadeline Iva

    Yeah, you think that two could fit in a sleep pod? Hmmmm. I guess what I like about the airport — or any kind of travel for that matter — is that the usual rules are suspended. If you’re alone people try to connect. I happen to be a crazy-magnet, but even so, there is this way in which when I’m on the go by myself I can feel very much an “it’s all good” glow. And sometimes have adventures. Which for the most part have worked out well. Here’s to airports, Alexa. I’d clink those plastic mini-cups with you any day.

    Reply to Madeline Iva
    • Post authorAlexa Day

      I do think you can get two in one of the cryopods if you’re super friendly. 🙂 As for the Minute Suite, I think you can get at least four in there. But more research is called for, I think. How much of that do you think I can write off on my taxes?

      Here’s to the White Zone, baby! Where *you* goin’? 😉

      Reply to Alexa Day
  • Post authorDenise Golinowski

    If the pod’s a rockin’, don’t bother knockin’ (<–hey, Alexa, where DOES the comma go in here?)

    Sleep pods, mini-suites – all very nice but why can't the airlines just get their act together and make connections (flights, folks, flights) flow smoothly.

    Then again, it would cost the imaginative flyer some prime scopeage. Hats off to you, Alexa for making the best use of your time. I admit that the vantage point of a airport concourse makes sense. Such diversity. I'll have to up my ante the next time I fly!

    Reply to Denise Golinowski
    • Post authorAlexa Day

      That comma is exactly where it ought to be, neighbor!

      I love my layovers too much — I have actually started to schedule spare time in the airport. One night, I got caught in Miami by a storm system and got to spend the night at a really nice hotel. The little card I sort of stole from the room explained that the bed had been designed to create the perfect sleep experience. And I can tell you that the experience was damn near perfect. I thought it was cruel to put a TV in front of a bed like that because it actually hurt a little to try to stay awake to watch the last few minutes of whatever I had on. But after that, perfect.

      And just think, if things had gone according to Hoyle, I’d have missed out on the perfect sleep experience! I’ll take the Miami memory instead. Plus more time to shamelessly ogle my hot fellow travelers. I guess I’m not feeling that urgency to get There, wherever There might be.

      Also possible that I need a real vacation. I won’t contest that, either. 🙂

      Reply to Alexa Day
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