All I want for Christmas…a basic primer on the female orgasm
By Isabelle Drake
Something you already know: the female orgasm is more (much more) complex than the male counterpart. While men reach orgasm more quickly and frequently, 90% of the time as compared to the woman’s 25%, the male orgasm is usually shorter, reportedly less intense and requires a longer recovery time.
- 26-32, estimated peak age for a woman’s sexuality, but equal amounts of research show sexual satisfaction is more connected to overall life satisfaction.
- relaxation, studies shows its single most important element in regard to reaching bliss.
- 15-40 minutes, that’s the average length of time it takes for a woman to orgasm.
- women are much more likely to need a “reset” due to distraction or unexpected position changes during those 15-40 minutes.
- muscular contraction in the lower abdomen precedes the orgasm and can be used by a lover to determine whether a technique is getting the desired results.
- the labia deepens in color as blood flow increases, another signal lovers can watch for.
- too much clitoral stimulation is counterproductive as it becomes desensitized, yep–another factor for partners to consider.
That list alone isn’t enough to make things complicated. Here’s more: there are four types of female orgasms.
With 8,000 nerve endings its no wonder this ultra sensitive spot is the most common way for women to achieve orgasm. Good news, stimulation there is quick and easy and works consistently. Less good news, the result is not as physically powerful as the other possibilities.
While there is some controversy as to whether or not the G-spot exists, many women state that they have had an orgasm as a result of stimulation inside the vagina alone (excluding clitoral stimulation). The G-spot is an area, not a particular “spot,” of sensitive tissue. Achieving the big O this way can take longer and require more mixing it up via positions, but this type delivers legendary results.
Never had a vaginal orgasm or lost touch with your G-spot? Consider trying Ben Wa Balls to tone up your interior.
Ahhh…yes, the best of both worlds–clitoral and vaginal orgasms simultaneously. This mind-blowing experience is the longest lasting and most physically intense, but also the most difficult to achieve. The trick to achieving this Mecca of Satisfaction is persistence and patience. Lots of foreplay in the form of touching everywhere, kissing everywhere, and–dare I suggest it–gentle, intimate conversation.
Not to be confused with several orgasms that occur at different times in the same session, multiple orgasms occur one after the other, a roll of mind-melting pleasure. Not all women are cut out for this one, as the continual stimulation may not “work” for some; however, those who do achieve it reach their peak several times in a row, usually with altered positions. A possible method to increase your chances and avoid the over-stimulation that can prevent multiple orgasms, ask your partner to stroke your clit over a silk scarf or your panties.
The female orgasm is in some ways the icing on the intimacy cake. It’s part of the process of that leads to pregnancy, but not a required part. So, its technically “unnecessary.”
Ha! Says who? Scientists. What do they know?
Okay, they do know a lot. But on this issue, they just might be wrong. I’d say the big O is necessary and ought to be on everyone’s holiday wish list. Thoughts? Shout out in the comments.
And – follow us here at Lady Smut. We’re always here to inform, entertain, and keep you up to date.
Isabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, urban fantasy, and young adult thrillers.