Let’s say you’re a guy, perfectly comfortable in your guyhood. You rock a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with the best of them, you love a good bicep and pec workout, and Mr. Johnson definitely pays attention to a beautiful woman. But in addition to your typical male tendencies, you also have a hankering to paint your toenails pink, strap on a pair of 4-inch stilettos and slink around in a pretty dress. What’s a cross-dressing guy to do? How can he learn to walk in heels, properly apply make-up and embrace his feminine self? Fear not – help is available. Introducing Miss Vera.
“We live in a time where gender is an option.” So says Veronica Vera, a.k.a. “Miss Vera,” founder and dean of Miss Vera’s Finishing School For Boys Who Want To Be Girls. Founded 25 years ago in New York City, Miss Vera and her fellow “deans” – each of whom has a particular specialty – are an oasis of help for cross-dressing men. Becoming a student at this modern-day finishing school means a guy can learn how to moderate his voice to achieve a more feminine pitch, properly style his hair and/or wig, strut his stuff no matter how high the heel, and apply make-up to transform and bring out his inner diva.
Miss Vera’s ultimate goal, according to a video on her website, is to “increase the awareness of your options as a human.” In other words, we’re not relegated to living strictly as our biological birth would dictate. Instead, we can be ourselves with whatever gender we identify. “Average Joe” during the day, “fabulous Joanne” after hours. No need to struggle over how to make it happen. Miss Vera’s academy will show you the way.
Aside from achieving the desired physical look, the finishing school also offers courses that bring the closeted cross-dresser to the streets. How to shop, dine, even feel comfortable using the ladies’ room are all in the offering. It’s not just about looking and acting the part. Miss Vera’s teaches her eager students how to “be” a lady.
When musing on being a crossdresser, one straight, cross-dressing guy wrote in a blog post on cracked.com, “What most of us want more than anything is validation of our femininity.” Miss Vera’s Finishing School seems to understand that well, as their motto is “cherchez la femme,” or “look for the woman.” The goal, as stated on the website, is to “allow your femmeself to open you up to the world, not isolate you from it.”
All this gender acceptance is cool, but what if you’re the spouse or significant other of a cross-dressing guy and are struggling to understand and be supportive? Working with couples is more common than ever before at Miss Vera’s. Being the partner of a cross-dresser herself has helped her develop deeper insights into the psychological and emotional challenges of similarly situated couples. In consultation with them, she’s discussed topics such as role-playing, communication, children, and bisexuality.
It’s interesting to note that the straight guy in the cracked.com article made sure to point out that his interest in cross-dressing isn’t at all a sex-based need. As he says, “It’s a look, not a fetish. … It also took quite awhile to come to an understanding that dressing to feel sexy didn’t make dressing sexual.” He’s not bisexual; it’s not a kink thing. The dude just wants to bring out his sexy side by looking and dressing like a gal.
Despite today’s broader proclivity toward identity acceptance, finding out your guy fancies wearing lacy panties can be a couple crusher for many. Certainly within our romance book world, gender benders are primarily women dressing as men, and usually in historicals where a woman is trying to do something available only to the guys. To be sure, a romance with a bad boy alpha male, the leader of a motorcycle gang, for example, would be a hard sell if the reader learns that the dude likes wearing fishnets beneath his jeans.
But perhaps that’s an assumption. What do you think? Does a cross-dressing straight guy a believable hero make? Sound off in the comments. And if you’ve got a good cross-dressing romance to recommend, let us know that, too. Here at Lady Smut, we’re never at cross purposes in talking about romance.
Elizabeth Shore writes both contemporary and historical erotic romance. Her newest book is an erotic historical novella, Desire Rising, from The Wild Rose Press. Other releases include Hot Bayou Nights and The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires.