Never Have You Ever Ever, sex-positive game, home and office edition.
What do sweet tea, brownies, free books, prize boxes filled with sex toys, swag bags featuring sexy body chains from Unbound Boxes, and highly personal, potentially inappropriate questions about your sex life have in common? If you joined us at the raved about Lady Smut Blogger’s RTBooklover’s convention event, Never Have You Ever Ever, you already know the answer.
If you weren’t able to join us, no worries. You don’t have to wait until next year to play. Here is the Never Have You Ever Ever home and office edition. How do you play?
- Gather a group of your friends.
- Do a trial run to make sure they know how to raise their hand. Do this by asking, “Do you want to play this highly personal and potentially inappropriate game?” Anyone who raises their hand is in.
Now that they’re in, here are the rules:
- You ask a question.
- If their answer is “yes,” they raise their hand.
- If their hand is up, they are still in the running to win.
- If their hand goes down, they’re out.
Variation: allow game players to rejoin if their subsequent answer are “yes.” To do this, they simply raise their hand to get back in. Later, you can switch to sudden death.
Variation: add your own questions.
The first round is the sweetness round. Here, the sweetest of the sweet is revealed. The sweetness finalists who attended our RT event were gifted with a box of sex toys…but, maybe you could simply offer your winners the great, well-kept secret underground website that only very few people know about: PORNHUB.
Ready, set, read the questions to reveal the sweetest of the sweet.
- Raise your hand if you’ve had less than 2 sexual relationships in your whole life.
- Keep your hand up if you’ve NEVER given or received oral sex.
- Keep your hand up if you’ve NEVER EVER tried masturbating.
- Keep your hand up if you’re a vaginal virgin.
- Keep your hand up if you’ve NEVER EVER EVER French kissed someone.
The second round is the naughty round. Who among you has done…if not all, a lot. Same rules. Hand up for yes. Down for no. Again our RT finalists were gifted with an awesome box of sex toys. What should you give your winner? How about a pad of paper and a pen, so they can start writing some steamy romances for us all to read.
- Raise your hand if you’ve ever done any role-playing.
- Keep your hand up if you have any piercings below your neck.
- Keep your hand up if you’ve ever intentionally seduced someone.
- Keep your hand up if it’s not your bellybutton.
- Keep your hand up if you’ve ever gotten or given a lap dance.
- Keep your hand up if you’ve ever done any bondage or spanking.
- Keep your hand up if you’re a member of the mile high club.
- Keep your hand up if you’ve ever had sex with a younger person (by which we mean you were over the age of 30, and the person was at least 9 years younger).
- Keep your hand up if you’ve ever had anal sex.
- Keep your hand up if you’ve ever used a strap on toy .
- Keep your hand up if you’ve ever interacted with a stripper or stripper–male or female.
- Keep your hand up if you’ve ever had sex with more than one person at the same time?
- Keep your hand up if you have been, or been with, a unicorn.
- Keep your hand up if you’ve ever participated in an orgy.
- Keep your hand up if you have a rumpus room at home.
There you have it, the official, abbreviated home and office edition of the first ever Lady Smut sex-positive game.
Start playing, folks! Share your discoveries and results in the comments! Follow us at Lady Smut! Subscribe to our saucy monthly newsletter!
Isabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, urban fantasy, and young adult thrillers. Her latest story, BAIT, features a woman who hunts and sells zombies, can be found in the horror anthology GONE WITH THE DEAD.