by Madeline Iva
Alexa Day had a fabulous blog post on The Last Jedi last Friday. Check it out. I just want to extend the convo a little here — cause The Last Jedi was the first Star Wars film I’ve actually liked since Empire Strikes Back. Not only was The Last Jedi more diverse and watchable than Return of the Jedi, and all the prequel episodes, it was far stronger, I thought, than The Force Awakens. Yes, it was still uneven – and see Alexa’s notes on the guy who says that kind of thing about your parents is not your friend. Real wisdom there.
But hey, you know where this post is going – and it’s not going to be all about the porgs—cute as they are.
First of all, don’t tell me Adam Driver is not hot. Second of all — don’t tell me in your twisted little heart you were less than happy that this unexpected Kylo Ren & Rey thing suddenly splashed across the screen.
REASONS TO SHIP REYLO:
SEXUAL TENSION IN STAR WARS: YES, PLEASE! When Kylo Ren started to connect with Rey I sat up in my seat and was like: hey now! This movie is starting to come alive.
HE’S THE MOST INTERESTING CHARACTER IN THE WHOLE MOVIE: I mean, come on–Finn, Poe & Rey? Yawn. (Poe is a tragic waste of Oscar Isaacs if you ask me). I thought so in The Force Awakens and even more so in The Last Jedi. The sign of a really good actor is one who fills up an only mediocre role with charisma and emotion. Adam Driver is doing just that–and the other guys aren’t. He’s filling Kylo Ren with emotional intensity. And so what if he draws with colors outside the Crayola Machismo Box? So they’re calling him emo. Fine. Fine. I don’t care! He’s got his issues, okay? In The Last Jedi we find out exactly what one of those compelling issues is–and it’s pretty compelling.
REY IS FAR MORE INTERESTING WITH THIS COMPLICATION: Frankly, she needs the assist. She upped her game big time by bouncing off Kylo Ren. In fact, Poe and Finn could use some of that edgy-sexy-emo assist too. Almost everyone in the rebel camp could use some help in being more interesting. Everyone except the porgs–they were totally holding their own.
YOU TOTALLY WANT TO SEE KYLO REDEEMED, DON’T YOU? During the film, Kylo Ren is so on the cusp of falling over into the good side you can taste it: nom nom nom!
GIVE ME A GOOD ANTI-HERO ANY DAY. They seem like they’re cranking up the works for some kind of intimate, doomed romance between Rey and Kylo Ren–and I am all over that sh*t. Let’s hope there’s some sex that happens between them, even if it’s far too late for full on redemption and he’ll have to die or something…
In the end—I will dream my little dream that Finn and Poe get their edgy, forbidden, sexual no-no encounter as well. Why not?
Let’s say Finn is caught by the evil empire, put through retraining by Captain Phasma, and that they get together in some terribly twisted way.
Meanwhile, Poe and the doomed Vice Admiral Holdo (Laura Dern) found time for a very short, very fraught and heated sexual tryst that wound up on the cutting room floor.
But if you really REALLY want to grab me by the scruff of the neck and never let me go — then after Kylo and Rey don’t work out, let’s ship Kylo Ren and General Hux. Domhnall Gleeson is another great actor who’s coming up less than in his role. Let say Kylo Ren startles General Hux one day by stating there’s always been some chemistry between them, and it’s finally time to not only admit it, but to start exploring it. That would scare the whiney out of Hux. Then just let them go at it. Now that I’d pay some good money to see.
Madeline Iva is the twisted sister you always wish you had. She’s also the author of the fantasy romance Wicked Apprentice. Check out her other Lady Smut posts, Join her newsletter or follow her on Facebook, twitter, and Pinterest.