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Perfecting Your Skills At BJ School

22 Feb

By Elizabeth Shore

If forced to guess, most of us wouldn’t be hard pressed to figure out that the majority of guys out there like a good blow job. In fact, according to a survey at LoveMatters.com, over 70% of men prefer fellatio to actual intercourse.

70%!

With that glaring statistic, perfecting the technique when “heading” (heh) down south seems to make a lot of sense. Whether it’s to service your real life man, or to ensure the heroine in your book knows exactly what she’s doing, how better to “bone up” on your skills than by taking some lessons at Blow Job School. After all, if you want to learn a new language, or perfect your cooking techique, you wouldn’t hesitate to take a lesson or two, right? The same approach applies to mastering the knob job. Playing the skin flute. Licking the lollypop. And so on.

A few years ago, writer Rebecca Holman wrote a fascinating piece for The Telegraph about her experience going to sex school. She was there with about 10 other women, all there to learn the art of giving a really great blow job. Her class was called “Playing the Flute with Master Dominic,” taught, as you rightly guessed, by a Dominant named Dominic. As Rebecca writes in the article, which you can read here in its entirety, “…as I get older, it occurs to me that my refusal to make any effort in bed probably isn’t going to cut it.” Ergo, why not get some lessons?

Holman also noted, possibly due in part to the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, that she sensed a feeling of sexual empowerment among the women in the workshop. Something she feels wouldn’t have occurred say twenty years ago. The coordinator of the workshop agrees. She’s quoted in the article as saying, “People are talking more openly about sex than they were before. Women, in particular, are feeling more empowered to be sexy and also to dominate.”

So, good. Right? Nothing wrong with a little girl power and getting your sexy on. Yet questions abound! What, exactly, do they teach in blow job school? How does said teaching occur? Wonder no more, my friends. Thanks to the good peeps over at The Huffington Post, (along with my own good peep who pointed out the article to me in the first place), a compilation from sex educators and others is at our finger tips.

The lessons taught in blow job school are pretty self-evident, but a refresher from time to time never hurts. After all, as any good athlete or Carnegie Hall performer would tell you, practice, practice, practice. And what are you practicing? Why, such sound advice such as:

  • Use your hands along with your mouth
  • Don’t shy away from lube
  • Remember the “boys,” and  – perhaps most importantly –
  • Ask your man what gets him off. What does it take to transport him to happy land? Nirvana to one guy might be waterlogged wood to another, and that certainly could be very deflating (heh) to you both.

At the workshop Holman attended, Master Dominic explained the above and more, and then his teachings were put to practical use by the attendees sucking, licking, and no doubt pleasuring popsicles.

This all sounds great, although I have to wonder how many men would be willing to do the same for their gals? Plenty of them suck when worshipping the honeypot, and I don’t mean in a good way. Some men might feel it’s emasculating to admit they haven’t mastered their oral technique, but to me there’s nothing hotter than lovers – men or women – who aim to please and go out of their way to learn how best to do it.

Elizabeth Shore writes both contemporary and historical erotic romance. Her newest book is an erotic historical novella, Desire Rising, from The Wild Rose Press. Other releases include Hot Bayou Nights and The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires

 

 

 

Making A Pitt Stop For Brad

1 Feb

By Elizabeth Shore

In a conversation with my fellow Lady Smutters, we realized – to our dismay! – that in the nearly five years since we’ve had our blog, we’ve never once published anything about Brad Pitt. No gushing about his phenom body in Troy. No acknowledgement of his three Academy award nominations; no props for his humanitarian efforts. Not a Pittance! We’re like the blog version of Oscar voters who’ve snubbed outstanding performances. Well, no more. We’re righting our wrong here and giving a proper Lady Smut shout out to all things Brad.

Lately, of course, the news on Brad has been far from Hollywood sparkly. He’s in the midst of an oft-reported messy divorce from Angelina Jolie, and was charged – although later cleared – of child abuse allegations toward his eldest son. Ach! This is a far cry from the sweet-faced Brad who burst into fame in 1991’s Thelma & Louise playing sexy con man J.D. Although he’d done a fair bit of work prior to that, it was this film that first had our girly bits sitting up and asking, “Who is that?!”

Whether or not you’re a fan of Brad’s acting, it’s hard to find fault with the worthy causes and humanitarian efforts to which he’s donated time and megabucks. He’s been a supporter of causes as diverse as combating AIDS to housing for disaster victims to help for refugees. Both he and Jolie have been outspoken about supporting marriage equality and through their Jolie-Pitt Foundation have donated close to $30 million for “health, education, conservation, and sustainable development efforts,” according to InsidePhilanthropy.com.

All that is awesome of course. But, um, going back to that body…

 

Was this the best movie evah? Negative. Do we care? No we do not. Because, really, why the heck else do you need to watch Troy other than to drool over those giant guns. Those washboard abs. Those ripped pecs. Ahhhh…..

The number one rule of Fight Club is, we can talk about Brad Pitt

No doubt the movies for which Brad Pitt is best know are the Ocean’s movies and, of course, Fight Club. Can you believe that was made all the way back in 1999? Get. Out! Yet it’s true. Hard as it is to believe, the number one rule of getting older is not to talk about getting older. So I won’t dwell on the fact that Fight Club came out 18 years ago, which means kids in high school today weren’t even born then, which means…damn. Which means I need to change the topic.

babel-brad-pittBrad Pitt’s filmography is actually quite varied. He’s been the stud in Troy, the wheeler dealer in Moneyball, the crafty spy in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, which is where, of course, he met Angelina Jolie. But one of my favorite movies of his is much lesser known – and seen – and that’s 2006’s Babel. In it, Brad plays Richard, a man in a troubled marriage to Susan (Cate Blanchett) who goes on vacation to Morocco with his wife to try to work things out. Susan ends up getting accidentally shot, and her shooting and the aftermath are all connected to a series of four interlocking events that come together by the end of the film. Brad Pitt’s acting playing the distraught husband is really first-rate and I found myself enjoying the film and his performance much more than I would have guessed. I had the same reaction when I saw him in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. His performance in that movie was amazing.

Now, admittedly, not all Lady Smutters are swooning over Brad, although our own Alexa Day does cite this amusing introductory speech at an awards ceremony to be, and I quote, “the finest thing he’s ever done.” See for yourself.

 

I’ve mentioned above that we want to correct a fundamental wrong in never once writing about Brat Pitt here at Lady Smut, but how did it all come about? How did we realize the error of our ways? Well, ahem. It’s because stats guru Madeline happened to notice that our top searched for term last week was Brad Pitt smut. Ah…yeah. Brad Pitt smut. And that’s when we realized we have none to share. No Brad Pitt smut whatsoever. Horror of horrors! So with this post we’re correcting it pronto. Oh, and see below. Not necessarily smutty, per se, but I’ll take ’em.

Enjoy! And be sure to follow us at Lady Smut. We’ll give you what you want.

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Stressed At Work? Take A Masturbation Break

25 Jan
Someone needs a break!

Someone needs a break!

By Elizabeth Shore

Although I’m not a smoker, I’ve always felt there’s something appealing about taking a cigarette break at work.

Know what I mean?

You go outside for a few minutes, get some fresh air, and just chill the heck out for a few minutes away from the phone, the computer, and those annoying work mates. It’s a few perfect moments to de-stress. And because it’s so darn perfect, seems like there ought to be a similar work stress break for us non-smokers. Sure, we could go outside as well and just stand there, but somehow not having the ciggie prop to accompany the standing doesn’t seem quite right. So what to do?? Well, according to some doctors, their go-to Rx is to find a private spot and rub out some self love. You read that right. To de-stress at work, they say you should take a masturbation break.

Psychologist and Life Coach Dr. Cliff Arnall, in an article posted in metro.co.uk., says, “I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling, Certainly taking a masturbation break for boredom or an escape would increase work focus.”

I like the way you think, Cliff! After all, in corporate lingo, masturbation breaks seem like the perfect “win-win” situation. They’re healthy for the employee since she’ll be more relaxed and better able to focus on work, and healthy for the company because a happy employee is a productive employee. Anyone see a problem here?

Not Hot Octopuss. Last year the sex toy maker debuted its inaugural “masturbation booth” on 28th street and 5th avenue in NYC and claims to have had 100 men take full advantage of it on its debut day. Success like that surely means expansion, right? Right on! Hot Octopuss says it’ll be setting up more self-love booths in other major cities across the globe, so stayed tuned. Of courose, what I want to know is, where are booths for the women?

There are some religious groups, of course, who want nothing whatsoever to do with “pleasures of the flesh.” Porn-free.org states that masturbation, “opens the door to the deceiving influences of lust.” Sounds serious. However, there is a possibility that the masturbation break at work could potentially lead to sexual harassment situations. Or hostile workplace environments. For instance, if employees started bringing in their favorite skin mags as a way to “inspire” them during their breaks and then accidentally left them lying around. Or worse yet, asked a fellow employee to be the source of inspiration. If the solo becomes a duo, then inappropriate workplace behavior become an HR nightmare just waiting to happen.

Those concerns aside, the masturbation break is, literally, just what the doctor ordered as a way to de-stress. Apparently plenty of workers have already jumped on that bandwagon. A Time Out New York poll had 39 percent of male respondents confessing to doing the deed, and a 2012 Glamour magazine poll put the figure at 31 percent of all workers.

What do you think? Are you in on the masturbation break at work, or is it better to keep work and play separate? Let us know in the comments, and be sure to follow us at Lady Smut, where our posts are always a nice break. No lube required.

Why You’re Not Cruising Down The Threeway Freeway

18 Jan

By Elizabeth Shore

Over the past almost five years now, we’ve written our handful of posts on ménages here at Lady Smut. Madeline Iva has covered both zombie ménage and vampire ménage, and she and Elisabeth SaFleur have written about it from Charlotte Stein‘s point of view. We’ve also had my post on a friend’s recollection of her real-life ménage. If all these threeway fun play posts have gotten you in a mood to dabble in the world of ménage, then how come you’re not cookin’ up a bacon samie of your own? Because, as we’ve learned, it’s damned hard.

A friend recently  hipped me up to an interesting article in the New York Post about the challenges of morphing your ménage fantasy into real-life slap and tickle among you and two lusty partners. On the surface it seems as if it wouldn’t be all that tough to find a willing partner or partners to make the ménage fantasy happen. You’ll see it listed on those top ten lists of women’s fantasies plastered all over the internet. A ménage is kind of like a Miss Texas contestant in a beauty pageant – almost always among the finalists. So in theory, with so many people allegedly lusting for three-ways, finding a partner would be like finding a vibrator. Just take your pick from among the many available. But according to the article, it’s not that easy.

If you think about it, it’s hard enough finding one person with whom you want to have sex multiple times. Sure, you can do a quick hook-up on Tinder for an easy one-nighter, but inevitably it’s just a single night for a reason. Getting the chemistry right is work, and it does indeed require you to kiss a lot of frogs before finding a prince. Or even just someone normal. On top of that, if you’re wanting to add a third person to the mix, now you’ve got two people – you and your partner – who both have preferences for what they like and want in the additional person.

Introducing the concept of a “unicorn” – a bisexual person who joins an existing couple’s relationship – can be an exciting way to add spice. The unicorn can theoretically make that ménage fantasy come true without damaging a couple’s foundation. Kind of a real-life sex toy with no emotional strings attached. Except that the unicorn is, in fact, a live person with his or her (often a her, though not always) own set of feelings and needs. In an article in marie claire, a woman who served as a sexual unicorn ended up getting involved with the husband behind the wife’s back and ultimately tossed aside when it became too complicated. Talk about being the ultimate third wheel.

But the NY Post article interviewed several women who’ve served as unicorns for which the experience has been positive. They cite several reasons: the ability to please and tease both men and women (assuming the ménage is M/F/F and the unicorn is a woman); it’s flattering to be wanted by not one but two people; it allows for the ability to be a pleaser, to make other’s fantasies come true; and it allows one to have intimacy but not the jealousy that can often come when an additional person invades a traditional couple relationship. If you’re just “servicing” the couple, you’re not going to be jealous. Or so it’s supposed to go.

But the downside, as noted earlier, is that unicorns do have feelings and they do have needs. If involvement in a relationship turns emotional but the emotional needs aren’t being met, that’s going to be nothing but a complicated world of hurt. The woman in the marie claire article had that very thing happen to her. She and the husband began developing feelings for one another, but his desire not to leave his wife meant she was eventually kicked to the curb. And the unicorn herself didn’t want only the husband, she wanted the package deal. Since the wife no longer desired it, the unicorn misses out.

So what to do? How do you have a successful threeway? An article at greatist.com offers sage advice, including establishing ground rules and having an exit strategy. And don’t forget about the needs of your unicorn. They’re not just there to serve as glorified toys. Take these tips and you’ll soon learn that unicorns aren’t just fantasies.

What do you say, oh reader? Would you have a threeway? Would you serve as a unicorn? Let us know in the comments below, and don’t forget to sign up for our Lady Smut newsletter. Free stories and fun stuff you won’t get from the blog alone. Go ahead, hit that little pink button. You know you want to.

Elizabeth Shore writes both contemporary and historical erotic romance. Her newest book is an erotic historical novella, Desire Rising, from The Wild Rose Press. Other releases include Hot Bayou Nights and The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires

 

 

Big Brother Censoring You

11 Jan

Don’t look, it’s not good for you

By Elizabeth Shore

Isn’t it nice that nowadays porn viewing can be simple and discreet? No need to truck on down to a seedy video store and rent tapes while ignoring the cashier’s smirking face. Or, worse yet, slink into some stained-filled booth and watch videos in semi-public. With the age of the internet, it’s a piece of cake! One’s porn viewing can be done in the privacy of home. Just launch your browser and go to town. Oh, wait. Maybe not if you live in South Carolina.

Palmetto-state dwellers can watch porn on their computers, too, but if a certain legislator has his way, that might change. Residents will still be able to do it – as long as they pay for permission. State Rep Bill Chumley (R) has put forth a bill that would require all new computers sold in the state to come pre-installed with porn-blocking software. Don’t want it, you say? You like watching naked people online? Good news – that pesky software can be removed as long as you ante-up a $20 fee.

Admittedly, $20 bucks isn’t much, and the money would go toward the state attorney general’s efforts toward anti-sex trafficking. Rep Chumley, who says this is an issue he’s “pretty passionate about,” says the blocker would prevent kids from accessing obscene material or from being exploited themselves (just how that would work Rep Chumley hasn’t elaborated on, but it sounds good). So, in other words, Chumley’s “pretty passionate” about state-sponsored censorship.

This all might sound like a whole lotta public shaming, but South Carolina’s not alone in their war against porn. In April last year, Utah officially declared porn a “public health crisis” by passing a resolution declaring that porn is “evil, degrading, addictive, and harmful” and hoping the resolution will work to unite communities in trying to stop it. After all, if it’s a public health crisis, like obesity, for example, than surely it must be costing communities tons o’ money in lost revenue, right? Except that studies are conflicted as to whether viewing pornography – even at a young age – has a detrimental physical or psychological effect, and therefore it’s unclear what “public health costs” pornography brings about. Details!

Aside from the legislation publically shaming new computer buyers into having to admit they want their porn, the whole issue of free speech comes into play. Isn’t blocking an expression of something equivalent to blocking the right to express it? Courts in the past have struck down proposed laws to block porn, citing First Amendment rights, but South Carolina’s Chumley says  the concern isn’t based on morality or free speech. It’s corrupting people! That’s why it must be blocked.

Exactly what will come of this legislation, if anything, remains to be seen. Nowadays porn is everywhere and filters or not, getting it for free is as easy as a couple clicks of the mouse. According to an article in The Washington Post, porn trafficking website Pornhub had one of its biggest years ever in 2015, so the appetite for porn has only increased. But that seems to be the very reason congressmen (and yes, it’s men behind the legislation), are passionate about starting conversations around the evil ills of porn – because it is indeed so ubiquitous.

Public health hazard? Evil ill of society? Cool thing that millions want? The debate against porn rages on, which is exactly what legislators say is the aim of their resolution: to get people talking about porn.

So…do you like a little government with your porn? Does the South Carolina porn blocking resolution make sense? Sound off in the comments below, and be sure to follow us at Lady Smut, where we’ve always got ways to get people talking.

Sexy Saturday Round-Up

7 Jan

SSRUWe’re baaaaack! Welcome to Sexy Saturday Round Up, home to interesting links that keep you in the know about the latest in all things whack and wonderful relating to sex, love, and gender.  Pop a marshmallow in your hot chocolate, throw that wooly shawl over your shoulders, then sit back and enjoy!

From Madeline:

The question that keeps you up at night: Why don’t men have a penis bone?

I guess everybody hated that movie Office Christmas Party. Well, *i* want to see it! 

Interested in trying that torturous device known as a menstrual cup? Here’s what you need to know.

For all y’all who love historicals — a brief history of the fashion plate

Finally! Science has started taking new approaches to studying how to stop sexual assault by identifying ‘rape-y’ attitudes.

And hey—here’s some more on the penis– cause you can never read too much about penile spines, evolution, and why the male junk is so variable, can you?  Science sez there’s more to genitalia than meets the eye.

A Year’s Worth of Dating Advice for the Modern Geek.

From Thien-Kim: Being the Fat Girl in a Big Fat Asian Family.

From Elizabeth Shore:

How come his c**k has no bone in it? ‘Cause he doesn’t last long enough to need it, that’s why.

It’s here! It’s now! Virtual reality porn.

24 questions to get your texting scorching hot.

Argh! Madeline Iva just wrote about hygge, and now apparently lagom is the hot new Scandinavian trend.

Foreplay food games. Yummy!

 

 

 

 

 

Forest Bathing Your Way To Less Stress

4 Jan

By Elizabeth Shore

Let’s face it, now that we’re four days into the new year, the resolutions you made with such shiny optimism are already starting to tarnish. We’re back at work, the kids are back at school, the usual routines you had before holiday madness set in have returned with a vengeance and you don’t know how in the world you thought fitting in daily gym dates and eating salads had even a snowball’s chance in hell at success. Any moment of stress-free existence you may have had during the break – fleeting though it was – is now as gone as the presents you returned, and you’re paying the price. Your blood pressure’s as high as your piles of unfinished work and stress levels are through the roof. Ain’t life grand.

Consider this. According to Prevention.com, 90% of Americans report feeling stressed over at least one thing during the holiday season. Ninety percent! So thinking that a having break from the daily grind will rejuvenate you is like thinking that drinking a cup of coffee will make up for years of sleep deprivation. So what to do? Should you just accept that your life is a hopeless, never-ending hamster wheel? That the only people living stress-free lives are monks? Hell no. How about actually making an honest-to-goodness conscious effort to de-stress? Setting aside time for the sole purpose of calming your anxieties and centering your soul? Sounds good, right? So do what the Japanese do: take a bath in the forest.

Shinrin Yoku is Japanese for forest bathing. To be clear, you’re not hauling a tub into the woods like people in a Cialis commercial. Instead, forest bathing is a health-enhancing technique of letting the sights, sounds, and smells of being in the forest wash over you as you wonder. Bathing, as it were, in the sensations of the woods. To be a proper forest bather is not simply to trek along a woodsy path and call it a day. Instead, it’s to immerse oneself in all that the forest offers. Listen to the birds. Smell the earthiness. Feel the rustling wind on your cheeks. Bathe in the forest experience and feel your stress levels plummet.

The folks at shinrin-yoku.org have put up a three-minute video on YouTube to give you an introduction to the concept. Look! I’ve found it for you:

 

Amos Clifford, one of the leading voice of forest therapy, states in an article in Women’s Health magazine that a single three-hour walk in the woods can calm your mind and body for a week. Sounds good, but what if you happen to live where there’s nary a forest in sight? Fear not. Immersion in any natural setting can work just as well, from mountains to deserts to beaches. Even a park would do, as long as you can get away from your every day environment and immerse yourself in the natural. Phones and other electronic devices are strictly verboten. You’ve got to be able to escape the confines of stressful daily life and notice the nature around you. Another good thing to know is that while a three-hour immersion is recommended, studies have shown that even a few minutes of being in a natural setting can help calm and soothe the savage – and stressed – beast in us all.

The forest bathing movement and “ecotherapy” is catching on. Doctors are writing “nature prescriptions” to address everything from anxiety and depression to high blood pressure and diabetes. Studies purport to show that nature walks reduce cortisol – the hormone released during times of stress – and leave participants feeling happy and relaxed in the great outdoors.

Why not give it a try? Writer Gemma Hartley of the Women’s Health magazine article states that her writing flowed better than it had in years after she’d gone on a forest bathing retreat. So relax and rejuvenate with a bath in the woods. Your mind and body will thank you.

 

Porn and Spanking and Self Love – Oh My!

21 Dec

Merry Christmas, baby

By Elizabeth Shore

Hey, All! Have you got your shopping done yet? Are you blissed out on spiked nog and peppermint bark? Are lights and candles twinkling in the windows? Even if NONE of these things are happening in your world, you still deserve a rest from the madness we collectively refer to as “the holiday season.” Hanging with friends and the fam can be fun (or not), but downtime for yourself means kicking back and reliving some of our fun posts from 2016. It’s “best of” week here at Lady Smut, so put your feet up, grab a cup of cheer, and get whisked away, Lady Smut style.

How to relax when the world’s gone mad? By watching porn, of course. A team of science geeks researchers say it’s good for you. So scientifically speaking, you owe it to yourself. Right? 😉

Now that you’re boning up (oh my!) on treating yourself right, why not extend that over to your partner and make sure he’s spanking you correctly (or you, him!). It’s the art of the spank, peeps, and this’ll teach you both how to do it oh-so-right.

So now that he’s got his spanking technique down, you’re putty in his hands, right? Doing whatever He wants – and loving it. You naughty, naughty girl, you.

Is the merry merry everywhere just a little too happy for you? Do you find yourself wanting to take a walk on the darker side? How about paying to get psychologically tortured? Anyone?

Lastly, May might “officially” be Masturbation Month, but here at Lady Smut, we say anytime’s a good time for a little self love.

The end of an awful marriage might be the beginning of something smoking hot. Click to buy.

The end of an awful marriage might be the beginning of something smoking hot. Click to buy.

Peace and joy in holiday season and beyond, from all of us at Lady Smut.

 

 

Have Yourself A Kinky Little Christmas

14 Dec

Wanna celebrate with me?

By Elizabeth Shore

Egad, can it be? Are we seriously saying that Christmas is the end of next week???!! Gaaah!! If you haven’t finished your shopping, there’s no time to waste. Stop binge watching Master of None and focus, people, focus! And yet…what to get? What would he love to receive? What should you do that he’d remember? Relax and rest easy, friends. Lady Smut is here with some decidedly smutty ideas to get you either 1) in the proper frame of mind to ignore rude, pushy shoppers at the mall; or 2) in the proper frame of mind to imagine what you and your gift receiver are going to do with your bounty. So get going!

1. Tis better to give than receive, right? We all know that. So instead of loading up on material gifts from the mall, how about giving your man a gift you can keep on giving? One he’s truly going to remember? And just what is this marvelous idea? Why, your supreme new techniques on pleasuring his balls, of course.

The delicate scrotum is to some women nothing but a scary sack of mystery. Should you touch it? Would he like it? Yes, and yes, according to an interview with Metro.com, in which the interviewer rounded up a bunch of guys and simply asked them what they like done with those gonads. Imagine that. The responses uniformly stressed the importance of remembering the delicacy of the family jewels. Treat them as if they’re “made of glass,” said one bloke, since they are “delicate souls” another reminds us. Still and all, soft stroking, licking, kissing, and cupping all made the list, so if this is the kind of selfless gift you’d like to bestow upon your guy, here’s the link for the tips.

2. Pull together a soundtrack for two. Getting your jiggy on is more fun when you can bump and grind to sultry beats, so why not present him with a customized playlist just for the two of you, fire it up and head for nirvana. Or Nirvana. According to Spotify, the #1 song in 2016 to have sex to is Rihanna’s Sex With Me. So there’s that. However, if it just so happens that you loathe that song (I’m just sayin’), Time Out New York put out earlier this year their list of 50 Best Sex Songs of All Time. We all know that music preference can vary wildly, but this list has a pretty wide range, with tunes from Lady B to Bobby D (Dillon, that is) and loads of artists in between. Get some inspiration from the list and then go inspire him.

3. If you’re hankering for a getaway where clothing is optional – and really, who wouldn’t? – why not give you both a vacation and splurge on the world’s “most iconic playground,” Hedonism II. With the tagline, Your Pleasure is our Passion, the adults only, clothing-optional resort lets you bring out your wild child. There are shows, bands, nightclubs, water sports – and theme nights! Ranging from hedonistic school girl to bare as you dare to fetish night, they aim to bring out the true meaning of hedonism, “the pursuit of pleasure and sensual self-indulgence.” Vice writer Anna Pulley said in a recent article that she learned to love her body at Hedonism II so really, how bad can that be? Book by December 20th and get a special “lust price.” I’m lusting already.

4. Some miscellaneous sexy ideas, in no particular order:

  • Butt table. It’s a table. With a picture of a butt on it.
  • Fur oil. Whether you’re bare down there or you’ve got a garden you tend, give it some love with fur oil. Sold on Gwyneth Paltrow’s site, Goop (where else?), for only $39 a little dab will do ya to soften and condition either the hair or the skin in your most private of regions.
  • Organic, fair trade-certified condoms, lubes, and wipes from Sustain. Oh, and they donate 10% of pretax profits to women without access to healthcare, so you can not only feel awesome about buying these products, you can be awesome by helping the cause.
  • Pine Pollen aphrodisiac. Mix it in a smoothie, or into tea. It’ll make you go whee!! Or not. Who knows. But it claims to be a potent aphrodisiac so it could be worth a try. At the very least, it’ll be fun to find out whether it works.

So there you have it. A few gift suggestions for making the season bright. Wishing you a very kinky holiday from all of us at Lady Smut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sexy Saturday Round Up

3 Dec

1-ssruDecember is here! If you’re already seeking relief from the holiday madness and holiday commercials that started before Thanksgiving, we have the solution. Kick back, get a big mug o’ tea and settle in to your relaxing Sexy Saturday Round Up routine…you won’t regret it.

This week–

From Madeline:

Decorate your Xmas tree with vagina baubles!

Some fascinating conclusions about human sexuality.

What is the gray sweatpants challenge? Here are some of the funniest twitter posts mocking the challenge?

Man Repeller talks about the avocado theory with men approaching 30.

Could you be a super-recognizer???? Take these quizzes to find out!

From Elizabeth Shore:

Gaining everyday access to a sex worker’s real life. You can see her naked whenever you want!

Guys wanna look pretty, too. The growing trend of male beauty treatments.

17 exciting must-reads for 2017. Note to self: apparently if you have “Girl” in your book title it gets turned into a movie.

Nice guys finish last. Why women find them boring.

Need a pick-me-up for 2017? How about a calendar of hot French farmers? Oui! Oui!

What happened to the “revolutionary” Lelo condom, The Hex? You know, the one promoted by none other than that misogynistic wacko, Charlie Sheen.

It’s creepy, it’s comical, it’s one of the weirdest damn things I’ve ever seen: a mask that turns your face into a vagina. Yeah, you read that right.

 

 

 

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