Archive | Paranormal RSS feed for this section

One Hot Zombie Husband, Please!–And Other Lustful Zombie Stuff

2 Feb

Let that repressed manic side out, Timothy Olyphant.

by Madeline Iva

On Friday night I’m watching a new show called THE SANTA CLARITA DIET on Netflix. Why? Two words: Timothy Olyphant. The guy has a kind of restrained mayhem vibe that makes women purr. He’s good when he’s a bad boy, and I like it when he does the humor thing, but really underplays it. Let’s hope he gets to do both in this new TV show.

What’s unusual is for Olyphant to be part of a duo, for he often plays the lone wolf.  Yet he’s a supportive husband (awwww) as his wife’s body goes undead and her twisted feral id coming to life. (Peeps, this could be my own marriage we’re talking about—esp. when I’m on deadline.)

As for the rest of the show–we shall see.  I lurv Drew Barrymore and early reviews say the supporting cast is excellent.  The creator is Victor Fresco who did the short lived but great (!) show BETTER OFF TED, which walked the line of absurdism and also had a supportive, understanding, and munch-a-licious lead.

But hey, let me be your zombie pimp and recommend some other zombie joy you may have overlooked. My preference is for zombie comedy/satire. Take R in WARM BODIES.  So cute and so protective in his own teenage, shuffling, groan-y way.

Click to buy the DVD

Click to buy the DVD


There’s also a wonderful funny little book call BREATHERS.  Subversive and with a sexy element that I quite enjoyed.

Click to buy.

Click to buy.

Have you seen the movie SEAN OF THE DEAD? It’s a bit like The Office meets zombies. Quite surprisingly daffy and satiric all the way through.

Imagine The Office as a zombie flick. Click to buy the DVD...

Imagine The Office as a zombie flick. Click to buy the DVD…

Meanwhile, let us not forget some serious Zombie smut, like what you’ll find with our own Isabelle Drake’s SERVANT OF THE UNDEAD along with Daisy Harris’ mix of not-quite-human stuff.  I lurved Hariss’ “Steins” and sex bots.  In BUILT FOR IT Harris discovered M/M erotic romance and never looked back. (Can you even get these books anymore Daisy?)


557e4e368babb5e201b7f2d2b531d8cbOnce upon a time, Lexi waxed philosophical on the ethics of sex with an undead body. I, dear readers, completely understand.  Who really wants to kiss decaying flesh?  On the other hand, a zombie is nothing if not a metaphor.  Give me your metaphors–satiric, comedic or full of pathos and killed by societal excess and ennui.  Sometimes we all seem a little rotten to the core.  Zombies get to wear their decay on the outside where it’s all embarrassing and visible.  Ultimately, they’re monsters and I dearly love a monster-hero, even if his heart is dead and cold.

That’s not to say that one can’t enjoy zombie horror.  Lexi has traced the path of an end-of-the-world romance on the Walking Dead that I’ve followed probably with more enjoyment that I took in watching the actual show.  Check out her posts:




If you do like your zombies with a lot of blood splatter, there’s a movie coming out called THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS.

You'll slurp it up if you like post-apocalyptic action/adventure. Click to buy.

You’ll slurp it up if you like post-apocalyptic action/adventure. Click to buy.

The book was gripping–I stayed up all night reading it.  I’m sure the movie will be excellent too, but check out the book first. It’s post apocalyptic, British, and I liked how the balance of characters in the book were female.  They seemed to have deliberately switched around the race of the characters in the movie.  Hmmmmmm.

There’s also World War Z — not your typical zombie genre book.  It’s totally different and only about a thousand times better than the movie. (Sorry Brad Pitt.)

Another book I've read in one sitting. Click to buy.

Another book I’ve read in one sitting. Click to buy.

Well, time for me to do some groaning and shuffling myself as I sign off to go jog, shower, and write. Follow us at Lady Smut.  We give you reasons to live.

wickedapprenticefinal-fjm_high_res_1800x2700Madeline Iva writes fantasy and paranormal romance.  Her fantasy romance, WICKED APPRENTICE, featuring a magic geek heroine, is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and through iTunes.  Sign up for Madeline Iva news & give aways.


A Wicked Little Excerpt: Our Simply Sinful Giveaway Event Continues

25 Nov

by Madeline Iva

Like booze, books, and bath bombs? Then you’re in luck!  This weekend is our Lady Smut Simply Sinful Black Friday Event. Here’s an excerpt for your reading pleasure. (Don’t forget to comment on this or any other post from today to be entered in our giveaway. See details below.)

This snippet is from Wicked Apprentice. (Book one in the Wicked Magic Series).

BLURB: Zephyr, apprentice of magical arts, is having a really bad day. Under orders to capture an uncanny creature for her mistress’s latest spell, she chains up a tall, gorgeous elf in a decaying castle only to find out he’s really a wizard with potent powers over human women. Uh-oh.

Theo has suffered heartbreak and betrayal more than once. He’s got a plan to escape, and when he does, he’s taking the curvy little apprentice with him. He’s vowed never to unleash his powers of enchantment upon a human woman—yet while she kisses and teases him, longing for an elf romance, his fae side is slipping out of control.

Got sexy elves?

Got sexy elves?


He whispered. “Will you help me?”

“Yes,” she whispered back. There. She had said it. She had committed herself. The walls of her loyalty to Hulgetta toppled. All that was left was a healthy fear of her mistress and a strong sense of self-preservation. But she was obsessed with the elf man before her.  It didn’t feel right. To promise him anything.  To be two-faced with her mistress. In some measure she felt she owed the sorceress. The woman had taught her magic, given her room and board. It was a debt.

A thought suddenly occurred to her.  What if to get the elf-man free from that manacle she had to cut off his hand? Her stomach turned over and her fingers turned to ice. She pressed them into his.

His eyes changed. He looked down into her face and down at her mouth. Those eyes were black. She could see her own face in them. Oh, what was this? A thick syrup of languorousness poured over her head. Her skin and lips wanted to whisper to him.  Her mind was strangely hushed.

“The book. Bring it to me.” His voice held a compelling tone.


His eyes. They could suck in galaxies. Under their gaze all her worry leached away, like a puddle dried up in the sun. At the same time her loins were licked by that mouth and the steady hammer of his gaze bent towards hers.

Like dark, slow treacle dumped upon her head, a sense of bonding with him enfolded her. Thick and full, it poured down her throat, trickled across her breasts, and down the center of her core. She stood under his gaze, but really she was swallowed whole in it.

He bent to kiss her, their mouths opening slowly, eyes closing, his chain clanking as she yielded softly and fully to him. He pulled her up by her bodice, his hands high around her waist, one hand coming round to pull her hair aside, letting his lips rove across her neck. She felt an involuntary clenching deep down and pulled his hands lower, towards her hips.

He pulled her up against him. She was falling into a thick featherbed of need. His long fingers held her face upwards, as she basked in his touch. Yet there was a touch of despair in his desire. She drank it in, ready to defy it, her soul suddenly brave. She’d die saving him if that’s what it took.


His head hanging above her own, he watched her clear eyes grow heavy. He watched as her irises shot wide, becoming vulnerable, her expression filling with a delicious resignation. He held her arms, letting one slender inch between his body and hers.

“Bring the book to me. You’ll return it quickly. Hulgetta will never know,” he said, the gold cuff rattling against the bar, holding it to the wall.

“She’ll know if you escape.” She spoke like a woman asleep, like someone resigned to her fate.

He let her go. In theory, her will was not entirely her own. He had never deliberately tried to enthrall anyone before. Was it working? He had no idea.

Among his mother’s people he’d be put to death for even trying. The mindless instinct to survive had acted before he could stop it. Now it was done.

She was staring at his naked chest, and the elf in him wanted it that way. Crave me. He relished the challenge she presented. She was under his thrall. He loved the feel of their agony mixing with desire. He wanted to feel his powers wrapped about around her, protecting her. He wanted her to struggle, try to resist, and discover all her will to resist was gone.

Stop. He forced himself to look away. He held onto her shoulders and, with a hard inner twist on himself, gave up the thrall. His eyes ceased to throb. He was back, the world hollow and dim, a pale shadow of what he felt in his elfin state.

“If she discovers I’ve taken a book from her lair—”

“She won’t. You’re too clever.” His eyes dragged across hers. He felt the slender skein of magical connection. “You’ll be careful.” She left the cell.

He fought the urge to call her back. He was the one she should fear the most. He was cursed, unlucky—a betrayer with dark secrets she couldn’t even guess. Then she was gone.

He let his vision darken, felt the fae-half pulsing inside and this time he did not fight it.

He stalked back and forth the short three paces his leash allowed. Every bit of the elf inside him wanted to fight. If it could not fight Hulgetta, then his fae side wanted to take that pretty little maid apart inch by inch until she died from the tormented pleasure he’d give her.

Want to read more? Find Wicked Apprentice at major, online retailers for just 99 cents. Includes one hot elf, one magic geek heroine, and a lot of sexy magical mayhem.

Madeline Iva writes fantasy and paranormal romance.  Her fantasy romance, WICKED APPRENTICE, featuring a magic geek heroine, is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and through iTunes.  Sign up for Madeline Iva news & give aways.

Here’s how you win the giveaway: Leave a comment below–or on any post published today, November 25 and you’re entered for the Simply Sinful basket of book goodness.


Giveaway closes at midnight (Eastern), November 25, 2016.

Next up in the LadySmut Simply Sinful Reader Event is Alexa Day at 3 p.m.


I’ve Got a Plan & It’s Just Not That Complicated

17 Nov

by Madeline Iva

Sometimes you need to retreat, huddle up, hunker down, and regroup.  For introverts like me, this is actually our natural state of being.  The thing is–you gotta have a plan.

I love the part in BOURNE LEGACY, where Jeremy Renner (yum!) needs some information from Rachel Weisz who is sputtering over her suddenly-everyone-wants-to-kill-me reality.  Jeremy Renner cuts through her confusion and says, “Now I’ve got a plan, and it’s just not that complicated.  What I’m going to do is wait for the next person to come and kill you.  Maybe they can help me.”  Well, I’ve got a plan, Lady Smut readers, and it’s just not that complicated.

  1. There’s a romance plot spinning in my brain.
  2. I’m going to binge write all weekend long and get as much of it out of my head and splatted onto the page as I can.

That’s the good kind of binge, of course.


I’m going to try HBO NOW to watch Westworld. This is their new streaming subscription. (Like Netflix only all HBO.) First month is free…

Then there are the other kinds of binging.  Hey, let’s face it, I’m a binge-y kind of woman.  If a little is good, a lot is better.  My favorite types of binges: TV, movies, food, and romance novels.  But first, I will be productive.  I will lay down five thousand words a day (eek!)  and only then will I reach out to find other forms of comfort.

TV Series to Binge:

  • Westworld
  • The Crown
  • Luke Cage

    Dr. Who? Who knew Matt Smith could play the perfect consort?

    Dr. Who? Who knew Matt Smith could play the perfect consort?

At the movie theatre:


    Hey look--it's Jeremy Renner again!

    Hey look–it’s Jeremy Renner again!

Meanwhile, Thanksgiving is next week.  We’re making two pies: cherry and sour-cream apple pie. Well, it’s vegan sour cream apple pie, but it’s still completely awesome.

Along with the usual suspects: garlic green beans with toasted almonds, mashed potatoes, and homemade stuffing, (though my grandmother always called it ‘dressing’) we’re in the midst of deciding what the main dish will be.  You might think as vegans we’d be terribly limited for options.  Not so, my friends.  Here are the candidates:

  • chickpea crepes with cauliflower & shiitake mushroom filling
  • panko crusted sweet potato cakes with mushroom ragout
  • black bean & acorn squash empanadas
  • pumpkin gnocchi
  • three-sisters savory pie–with corn, beans, and pumpkin
Add yummy mushroom sauce and devour! I have it out for T-day dinners that are only shades of tan. Get some color on that plate, people!

Add yummy mushroom sauce and devour! I have a grudge against T-day feasts that are only shades of tan. Get some color on that plate, people!

Finally, I’ve been reading Patrick Rothfuss’s NAME OF THE WIND, (so good!) but I’m almost done.  There’s a whole world of  fantasy goodness by new authors on my kindle just waiting for me to dive on in and check them out.

I ***LOVE*** this cover!

I ***LOVE*** this cover!

And an advanced copy of Cara McKenna’s BRUTAL GAME is in there as well — Think of it as a kind of sexy, contemporary palate cleanser for all the fantasy.

Click to buy

Click to buy–.99 cents!

So that’s the plan.  This afternoon, I’m piling on the sweaters and slippers over the pj’s and sinking into the primordial stew of my creative subconscious.

When I emerge after the holiday, the anxious stew in my brain will be quiet.  I will be ready to be fed–both literally and metaphorically.  At that point, I think I’ll be fit to rejoin the world again.

See you on the other side.








Ghosts Making Booty Calls

28 Oct

by Elizabeth SaFleur

It’s a wild wicked week at LadySmut. Not only is our very own Madeline Iva coming out with her latest, Wicked Apprentice, but we’re tackling all the Halloween myths, legends, costume angst and deep, dark truths lurking around this favorite holiday.


Let’s talk ghost sex. As in, how they do it. You’ve wondered this, too? Well, good. Because I’ve lost some sleep over figuring out how do ghosts get it on. I mean, they’re transparent. How does “that” get into “this.” (Picture the hand gestures being made right now.) Wouldn’t it just, ahem, slide right through? And not in a good way. In a completely ineffectual way.

An answer must be found. It simply must. Because apparently fifteen perfect — FIFTEEN PERCENT! — of real, live, breathing people are getting it on with a non corporeal being. Even the Travel Channel did a documentary called Ghost Lovers (now officially in my Netflix cue. Oy, the things I endure for research.).

Consent isn’t such a thing in ghostland, either. Some people who’ve been the recipient of such a spiritual encounter did not make the booty call. The horny apparitions just appeared and started groping like Donald Trump. Oh, the horrors.


According to experts, however, just a fraction of the world’s ghost sex is non-consensual. Well, whew. But wait a minute. This means some of them DID ask for it? Yeppers. In fact, a whole community has cropped up around ghost fetishism. You just have to be open to such an encounter, say the people with spectrophilia, the official name for a fetish or condition where people display a strong sexual attraction to ghosts and spirits. So, settle in, relax your mind and bring on the invisible ding dongs? Even if you could request ghost sex, the original question stands.

HOW does it work?


I turned to my favorite kind of research: buying and reading erotic romance books (as if the incentive was required). The amount of available ghost erotica is impressive. Succubus, demons and Casper-like beings are all getting it on between the pages. Carolyn Crane, Beth Kery, and our very own Alexa Day have written ghosts tales.

Check out Alexa’s short story, Three, After Midnight, in Mysteries of the Macabre: a Halloween Anthology. So. Much. Hawtness.

So, how do they do it? you are shouting  right now. The answer is simple my friends, thanks to Carolyn Crane’s Old Salt, a delightful short about a disenchanted tour guide in a small town whose claim to fame is the nightly hauntings from a drowned sea captain called “Old Salt.” Turns out “Old Salt” is really “Young Hot Guy.”


She dies. But all is not lost. He teaches the tour guide how to become corporeal for short periods of time. Guess what they do during these times? They concentrate really, really hard and bam! Bam-bam-bam-bam!


He-he-he-he. So there you go. Who knew the answer was so easy? You just gotta want it. Like anything in life, I guess.

Follow LadySmut. We’re easy. We won’t make you have sex with invisible critters for fun. Just pick up one of our books, like Madeline Iva’s latest, Wicked Apprentice, for all the salacious fun and fantasy you can handle.

About Wicked Apprentice

Zephyr, apprentice of magical arts, is having a really bad day. Under orders to capture an uncanny creature for her mistress’s latest spell, she chains up a tall, gorgeous elf in a decaying castle, only to find out he’s really a wizard with potent powers over human women. Uh-oh.

Theo has suffered heartbreak and betrayal more than once. He’s got a plan to escape, and when he does, he’s taking the curvy little apprentice with him. Her seductive curiosity about all things elvish makes his heart race, driving him into a sexual frenzy. He’s vowed never to unleash his powers of enchantment upon a human woman—yet while she kisses and teases him, longing for an elf romance, his fae side is slipping out of control.

Their world overturns when Zephyr unleashes a curse involving two magic rings. Under its spell, she becomes a mighty sorceress while the elf-wizard who loves her becomes her apprentice. As Zephyr works to turn the brooding, mistrustful elf into the hero the people need, Theo must find a way to contain Zephyr’s new powers before her wild magic destroys them all.

Madeline Iva’s high fantasy romance will enchant readers who love all things elvish, brooding heroes and bold heroines.


Elizabeth SaFleur writes contemporary erotic romance and she’s not afraid to get a little graphic about it  — “it” being the smex, the BDSM or Washington, DC society, which she regularly features in her series, the Elite Doms of Washington.

Selene & Her Cold, Cold Heart: UNDERWORLD #5 Where Are We Going? Where Have We Been?

20 Oct neehz2hlbagphk_2_b
Cold kick-ass heroine? Yeah. LURV IT!

Cold kick-ass heroine? Yeah. LURV IT!

By Madeline Iva

I’m an Underworld follower—are you?  UNDERWORLD #5 BLOOD WARS comes out January 6th. I’m not a big movie franchise person. Didn’t see all the Twilight films. Didn’t see all the Star Wars films, Star Trek films, Hobbit films, etc, etc.

I’m going to go see UNDERWORLD BLOOD WARS for three reasons: Theo James, Theo James and Theo James.

If you’ve missed the whole Underworld franchise, below are reasons why I loved the original film-as well as which of the films to watch and which to skip. For those of you who have seen Underworld #1 – 4, check out down below where I parse the preview for Underworld #5.

WHY UNDERWORLD? It vampires vs. werewolves–or Lycans as they call them, and I’m all about cool, glittery Vampires with style. And even more about Theo James.

Before Theo popped up in Underworld #4, what first drew me into this world was Selene—cold, rational, ruthless Selene. All alone and perfectly bad-ass. Wearing head to toe black with ice blue eyes, she is a liquid ripple of lethal grace in a sapphire city. A female action adventure lead who sees trouble with a slight irritated wrinkle of her logical brow, and then proceeds to ruthlessly shoot up whatever needs obliterating.neehz2hlbagphk_2_b

But you haven’t seen the movies? You poor thing. Come with me, let me guide you through them.

UNDERWORLD #1 is awesome! Great casting. Great style. Great photography–shot in shades of elegant blue and black. Where are we? Who cares. Probably America. But not really.

The toys are fun too: Vampires invent liquid silver bullets–how do they stay liquid at room temp? Reasons. The silver spreads through a Lycans’ bloodstream killing them dead.  But the Lycans find a way to create these glow-y untra-violet liquid bullets.  It’s sunshine in a bullet and also kills vampires dead.

However, while the Lycans run around like homeless hipsters through the underground all fight club-ish in the sewers, the vampires have retreated mostly to their gated gi-normic estate where they hold parties and such.  Selene seems to be the only one out there doing the gritty job of nailing the Lycans with a spray of bullets in the subway system, while her cohorts are all obsessed with the pecking order and some stupid party.


Michael is hot. And kinda cursed, poor guy.

One would think that Selene is without any feelings at all, but when she spots Michael she finds him interesting. She watches him from above – as he starts to experience a “my life is about to get pretty trippy right now” moment.  He’s hot in a Heath Ledger on steroids kind of way.

And yes, there’s a love story that develops.  Though at first it’s a “Shut up while I save your ass, idiot human” story.

The number one bad guy is played by the actor, Michael Sheen.  Michael Sheen’s greatness impresses me–I’m convinced he can do anything.  He was fabulous as “the pedantic one” in MIDNIGHT IN PARIS, and so very good in MASTERS OF SEX.


Michael Sheen–he’s soooo good!

To have a great story, your villain must be as compelling and as charismatic as your protagonists. We have that in Michael Sheen – he rivals our lovers in sympathy by the end, as well as in acting chops. Yet he’s willing to chew the scenery a bit, while the other two commit to underplaying their moments. (I love underplaying.  Seriously.)

And what’s-his-name –Bill Nighy, is GREAT as a clammy ancient vampire risen from his freeze-dried stasis. You get the feeling that if he was once human he’s long forgot all about it.  (It takes a certain kind of actor to sell that larger-than-life mythic quality–and Bill N is perfect.)

So we get a very good first half of the film, the beginning of the third act is great as well and the end wraps up with lot of fighting mixed with some dirty politics, then a lot more fight fight fight –and then we’re done.  Overall, Underworld #1 is very much worth seeing.

UNDERWORLD EVOLUTION is a great title–but a miss. Our protagonist from Underworld #1, Michael–aka Heath on Steroids–can transform into this bizarre, ferocious, black gargoyle thing.  The black gargoyle thing likes to fight.  And that’s what this movie is: fight fight fight, politics, politics, blah, blah, blah, fight fight fight. Selene, as always, has to get Michael back, fight everyone, then fight some more and–Yawn. Also the movie is shot too much in daylight. The Underworld franchise works best during the hours of midnight to 4am. I recommend skipping this movie.

Bill Nighy plays Viktor with relish.

Bill Nighy plays Viktor with relish.

UNDERWORLD 3, RISE OF THE LYCANS is freaky deaky. We go back to the past – and the past is bleak, my friends. It’s all stone castles, whips, and people layered in furs, wearing swords.  You know what I mean. I actually didn’t make it through the movie.  This ur-myth of the Lycans and how they came to be at war with the vampires for All Time was missing a crucial component for me–Selene.

I stopped watching when Michael Sheen and Rhona Mitra are making forbidden love. But they’re like, doing it sticking over the edge of a cliff. That was just odd. She was on top, and Michael Sheen was the one hanging over an abyss.  His character seems to like it.  Cliff kink.  Who’d a thunk it?

SIDE NOTE: Kate Beckinsale, by this time, was married to the director.  Which is like, uh-oh.  Because when she first came into the first Underworld movie she was married to Michael Sheen–with whom she has a child.  So there’s this whole personal relationship issue between Kate, the director Len Wiseman, and Michael Sheen–but Kate says they’re all cool.  Apparently she and Wiseman eventually broke up.len-wiseman

So although UNDERWORLD RISE OF THE LYCANS had it’s moments, it had no Selene. No Selene –and no Selene/Michael-Ledger-on-Steroids romance. This was a problem. Without Selene, I didn’t care.

But I’m still a believer!


Theo James is the kind of hero I can get behind.

UNDERWORLD AWAKENING got a big boost of energy in the form of Theo James and a tight new script that wasn’t exactly just the same-old same-old.  Selene had been caught and frozen.  She wakes up at the beginning of the film to find that we’ve gone from the kinda present to the near future – awesome! But wait! What about Michael? Selene is busting out of some nasty lab facility but before she leaves, she uses her sense of connection to track down Michael in another vampire popsicle container.  Only, when she busts in, it’s not Michael in the container.  It’s some tweener girl she’s never seen before.  Cool! But what about Michael?

They escape and discover Theo James.  Hell yeah—but what about MICHAEL?

I mean, the bite of love Selene feels for Michael–this is why we root for team Selene. And yet, I have to admit, if Michael has to die saving his little family or something and then Theo James steps in, I could live with that. I’m ready.

Ultimate decision: Underworld #4 is a decent movie. Plenty of Selene, and I’m able to let go Michael and move onto Theo.  Definitely worth watching.

Moving on!

UNDERWORLD 5: BLOOD WARS.  Here’s the trailer:

Okay, what can we ken from this 2:41 minute trailer?

Well, we’re back to Selene. And…there’s more Theo James.  (Fist pump!) What else can we glean from this preview? It’s shot in that blue-y light which makes me very very happy.

However, it’s not a good sign that they spend the first minute or so of the preview on the past.


Marius–watch out. Selene is coming for you.

The villain looks GOOD. It’s that British actor I see in lots of things that I think of as Not-Cumberbitch. (He’s tall, has the same coloring and small squinty blue eyes too. He plays a Lycan named Marius. I like the way Selene spits out the words “Tell your leader—Marius–” Ptwoo! “I’m coming for him.”

Theo’s around and he’s protecting Selene.  Great! Bring it on! Apparently the Lycans want the blood of Selene and her daughter and…somehow this will make someone invincible?  There are kick ass Lycans, power-hungry vampires, and a woman with long white hair. There’s some winter wonderland stuff that ends with Selene wrapped up like a mummy being dunked in ice water…and some kind of cage match.

Sign me up! I know, it all sounds sort of muddled, but I have faith.  They clearly have great actors, the blue-y light, and Selene plus Theo. This is what I like and for the rest, I’ll cross my fingers and hope for the best, because this movie has such a great fantasy/paranormal vibe.

Alas, it’s going to come out months from now.  Meanwhile, my own fantasy romance is out in two weeks — and I’m having a give away to celebrate.  Stay tuned!


Right now you can click to pre-order it for .99 cents. Crazy, right?

Right now you can click to pre-order it for .99 cents. Crazy, right?

Madeline Iva writes fantasy and paranormal romance.  Her fantasy romance, WICKED APPRENTICE, featuring a magic geek heroine, is available for pre-order and releases November 1st.  Sign up Madeline Iva news & give aways.  Follow her on facebook.


The Woman in the Skull Dress: SFF & Paranormal Round Up From WRW Lunch

13 Oct

by Madeline Iva


I went to the Washington Romance Writers blogger & reader’s lunch and all I got was THIS FABULOUS BAG OF GOODIES!!! The turquoise skull bracelet was the show stopper. Let’s chat with the woman in the skull dress who gave me this cool bag — Urban Fantasy author, JT Bock.

I went to the Washington Romance Writers blogger & reader's lunch and all I got was THIS FABULOUS BAG OF GOODIES!!! The turquoise skull bracelet was the show stopper.

MADELINE IVA: Jennifer it was a pleasure to sit next to you at the luncheon yesterday.  Your goodie bag *rocked*.

I joined for a moment in a conversation you were having with a reader named Sarah about the righteousness of Buffy.  Tell me more about that convo:

JT Bock in her rockin' dress at the WRW luncheon.

JT Bock in her rockin’ dress at the WRW luncheon.

JT BOCK: Regarding Joss Whedon, we both agreed how Buffy was one of the first female characters to lead a TV series that was focused on action and being a hero. She was the savior, not a prop of a male savior who is constantly needing help or a footnote in the inciting incident that sets the male hero on his journey.

Although she did deal with teenage issues of dating and choosing the wrong boys 😉 she was her own agent. Her identity wasn’t tied to whom she was dating or the approval of the opposite sex. She called the shots. We also agreed that the dialogue was so different. It was quotable because they spoke like our generation does with references to pulp culture and making up words to describe their lives and experiences ( Here was a woman who fought vampires and made mistakes and had these incredible friendships and awkward encounters at school. He made her relatable.

She felt that she liked Angel with Buffy. Although I did agree that he was better suited for her, I did prefer Spike overall as a character. (I have an affection for sarcastic British-accented men.)

JT Bock when she's not being a woman of mystery.

JT Bock when she’s not being a woman of mystery.

MADELINE IVA: Meeee too! I agree that they maybe weren’t right for each other, but I liked him best.  I liked that line “I may be love’s bitch, but at least I’m man enough to admit it.” (me: groan of joy)

JT BOCK: I enjoyed his overall arc, especially the final scene where he sacrifices himself to save the world. Buffy tells him that she loves him. He replies, “No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it.” A powerful moment that’s lightened with a bit of sarcastic humor showing how much he’s grown to become a man Buffy could love.

MADELINE IVA: Here’s a short blurb from you first book–love it! 51nft4dz8ql

UltraAgent Surefire’s plan is simple: Capture the transhuman thief Raven. Win back the respect of her father. Get a raise.

Easy, right?

Moving along…


Robin hanging out at the luncheon with Sarah Wendell, from Smart Bitches Trashy Books and Joy of Joyfully Reviewed

Robin hanging out at the luncheon with Sarah Wendell, from Smart Bitches Trashy Books and Joy of Joyfully Reviewed

ROBIN COVINGTON: A highlight for me was bonding over the love of reading. I had an amazing conversation with Sara Mallion about our love of male/male romance. We had a blast squeeing over books we both loved and then we introduced new ones to each other.  It made the time fly by so quickly.

MADLINE IVA: My friend said your good bag rocked, btw. I’m gawping at this cover–let’s share a blurb:51wlqdsobxl

Cici Trent, vampire and media darling, spends her days finding true love for humans and supernaturals (the “Others”) at her dating agency. But someone is trying to sabotage her business and she needs help. Unfortunately, the best man for the job is the one who broke her still-beating heart two hundred fifty-four years ago.


ALISON AIMES: I LOVE your blog. Just read the first couple blogs and laughed my ass off.

MADELINE IVA: Thanks Alison. 🙂 What was your take away from the lunch?

ALISON AIMES: It was so much fun to actually have time to hang with readers, rather then a quick hello and a sign of the book.  One woman I spoke with came from as far away as Colorado. Another from Tennessee. Amazing! We dished about hot men and sex in your 40s, and the bliss of reading romance. Oh, and the need for more diversity in romance book covers and subject matter. It was like chatting with a bunch of girlfriends I known forever. LOL.

MADELINE IVA: I have to say–the cover and blurb of your latest series is smokin’.51r1qg8gnpl-_uy250_

His Planet. His Rules.

When Bella West crash lands on prison planet Dragath25, the only thing standing between her and a mass of brutal criminals is one of their own, a ruthless loner known only as 673. But what starts out as a desperate trade based on protection and raw lust soon blossoms into a scorching need that will push them both to the edge….


It was so much fun connecting with other authors — I sat at the same table with Alexa Egan who does historical paranormal.  Here’s a blurb from her book WARRIOR’S CURSE:

Will their desire conquer evil ’s wrath?

Major Gray de Coursy, Earl of Halvossa and exiled heir to the five clans of the Imnada shapechangers, must regain his throne in order to save his people from a deadly war with the Feybloods.

I think historical fantasy is going to be a really big trend in the coming years, but at the lunch I suffered the curse of being seated all the way across the table from Alexa, and we didn’t get to chat much.  And isn’t that the way it always is? The other bloggers and I left the lunch hungry for more, so we decided to form a blog hop where we could talk with authors more about their books.

Here’s a list of the other bloggers in the blog hop.  Check our Lady Smut social media (Twitter and FB page) where we’ll post links to the other blog hop posts.  Here’s the first one with Kimberly Kincaid, Harper Kincaid, MK Meredith, and Robin Covington (again!)luncheonbloghop2

Meanwhile, seeing all these authors and bloggers got me mighty amped for my own first book coming out — and I’m having a give away to celebrate.  Stay tuned!

wickedapprenticefinal-coverfjm_high_res_1800x2700Madeline Iva writes fantasy and paranormal romance.  Her fantasy romance, WICKED APPRENTICE, featuring a magic geek heroine, is available for pre-order and releases November 1st.

Fantasy, Fairy Tale, & Fashion: The Smexiest Parts of TALE OF TALES

15 Sep foto-il-racconto-dei-racconti-11-low-1150x748

by Madeline Iva

I’m becoming more fantasy obsessed as I get closer to the releasing of my FIRST NOVEL which—you guessed it—is a fantasy romance.(Shameless plug: it comes out November 1st) Yet what is it about fantasy that does it for me, exactly? Well, for one thing, I’m a total sucker for ye-olde poofy dresses.  Yup.

Pair up a ye-olde poofy dress with a dainty princess crown, add in some gloomy tall interiors–preferably with a brooding mysterious hero lurking in the background–toss in a general air of gothic funk, and yeah: that’s me swooning at your feet.

That’s not to say TALE OF TALES is an amazing movie. Is it romantic and heartbreaking? No. Disney would not approve. But I think it’s worth watching, especially if you view the movie more as a kind of fantasy fashion show. The stories are based upon the writing of Giambattista Basile who in 15 whatever was a fairy tale collector. Fairy Tale Collector—now that’s a job I want! I was transfixed like a cat chittering at the birds as I watched the plush costumes and how they blended with the settings of the film. ****SPOILERS AHEAD****

Here are my fav fashion moments from the movie:


I loved the sea monster–and was very unhappy to watch a critter minding its own business die–even a mythical one. tale-of-talesThe sea monster’s heart is about the size of a Thanksgiving turkey and contrasted artfully against the Queen’s black dress.  She has to eat the whole thing in order to conceive a child.  The smeary red all around her mouth makes just the right statement of glorious depravity in the moment. And the amazing stone backdrop provides a minimalist contrast–so lux.960

Note the awesome stone labyrinth –I want one for my yard! (No more mowing.)  I loved this scene, because the pale stone set off her crimson dress with black velvet detailing so well! THAT dress. lttgwmo13fe-maxresdefault-1  That dress is TO DIE!!! Chasing after son in play, she runs along, gaily calling his name while she scampers about, her dress flowing behind her, the sleeves all a swirl –and her little gold crown wiggling around the corners—lurv!foto-il-racconto-dei-racconti-11-low-1150x748

How the Queen’s fashion sensibility continues, even as she takes a turn toward the homicidal. The Queen, while attempting to bash in someone’s head with an elegant black poker, wears a matching black taffeta dress with tight sleeves at the top of her arms and a tight bodice, both of which billow out into graceful bell sleeves and a voluminous skirt below. Bravo!


tale_of_tales_princessHere is Violet with girly hair d’jour.  I want to squeeze her to death! You’ll note her dress has little dangly pom-poms. In the words of Rachel Zoe: Ba. Nanas.tumblr_oc6xx9rrmz1s2a00zo2_1280-1

Our round faced, dimpled princess goes from this – to this.tot1

What a before and after transformation! Yet who can resist her in such a besplattered state, full of post-trauma gravitas, as she comes all covered in blood and gore to deliver to her father the head of the ogre he married her to.

Aw! He loves her. She however, has had enough.

Aw! He loves her. She however, has had enough.

It says something about the depth of my romance convictions that I kept waiting for this relationship to work out.  Look at the tenderness on his face — and look at the knife in her hand.  Yeah, it’s never gonna work out.


One day an insatiable lusty King hears a maid singing with a lovely voice, but she nips inside before he can see what she looks like. He assumes from her youthful voice that she’s young and pretty. Alas, she’s not – not at all. But she desires him too!

From the other side of a locked door she protests her modesty and vows she’ll sleep with him–but only in the dark. Sneaking into his bed chamber doesn’t work out, however. When she’s exposed in the early morning light, the king orders his guards to throw her out.  She winds up getting tossed out of a window all tangled up in a crimson bedspread.

Caught in the tree limbs far below, the bedspread winds up saving her life, acting as half hammock, half straight jacket.  A boar-woman comes by and cuts her loose, and she falls down onto the mossy rocks.  Half-stunned not just by her fall, but even more so by the humiliating events she just endured, she groans and frets.  The boar-woman suckles her (!) comforting her in all her childish wounded vanity, misery, and woe, until she falls into a daze.  She wakes up transformed into a youthful maiden ROCKING THE CRIMSON BEDSPREAD.tale-of-tales2

Of course the King comes along — he’s boar hunting — sees her, and instantly falls in love.  il-racconto-dei-racconti-tale-of-tales__20They marry.  Here she is in a divine wedding gown with a gold jester’s collar (the joke is on the King) with little danglies (people I am a sucker for danglies). Her beautiful hair is all piled up and topped with an extra-dangly pearl headdress – Swoon!35166-002

What I liked best about this film is that eventually the enchantment wears off and she’s back to being her old self again.  She scutters off before the King can see her.  Isn’t that really the lesson we need to learn from life? Sometimes after going through a sh** week you get a little boon. But soon enough the boon fades away and life is back to normal once again.

Disney would SO not approve!

Ready to leave the tyranny of Disney behind? Follow us at Lady Smut.

Madeline Ivaimgres writes fantasy and paranormal romance.  Her novella ‘Sexsomnia’ is available in our LadySmut anthology HERE, Her fantasy romance, WICKED APPRENTICE, is available for pre-order Oct 1st and releases November 1st.

Sex, Magic, Fantasy & One Cranky-Pants Heroine

18 Aug
Click to buy!

Click to buy!

by Madeline Iva

This is the one.  This is the book you gotta read.  That’s what I keep hearing about Amanda Bouchet’s debut release PROMISE OF FIRE, the first in THE KINGMAKER CHRONICLES with sex, magic, and fantasy woven together into one Greek Gods of a romance fantasy gyro.

But this is not a review.  I too, have a fantasy romance coming out soon.  I too, am trying to roll up magic fantasy sparkies into a delicious heap of smexy.  I could not review this book if I tried.  Instead I read it/inhaled it/grokked it with small stabs of anxiety and admiration. Look at how consistent she is in all the smexy, all the spells and everything.  Is my book this consistent? Is my book this polished?

No, it’s not.  I mean–I just got back my edits, and the editor explicitly said: “After you have done this, give me back a clean manuscript. I will then give it to a copy editor who will also look at its consistency and give you some feedback.”


So I’m a little in awe of Amanda’s book.  But let me entice you a little more:

What we’ve got here is a world in which our heroine has literally run away to join the circus.  How fun is that? She’s swiftly kidnapped by a hot warrior dude and Amanda Bouchet keeps the smexy sparks rolling between these two through the entire book. He needs our heroine to keep his kingdom intact.  See,the heroine has this handy little gift: when people lie to her it shreds her brain with pain. Handy, if you’re wondering who’s going to be loyal to you and your family in the new regime, no?

Along the way, we witness magic in a variety of inflections, but also tweaked and tumbled by the Greek Gods, who frequently stick a finger in humanity’s pie.  As I was reading (and fretting) my sweetie wondered aloud how Bouchet carries off Greek Gods without Greece. Very adroitly, is my answer.  There’s a Mount Olympus, thus there are gods crawling off it and littering the landscape. Bam!

And…I won’t add any more spoilers, except our cranky-pants heroine is tied to a rope with a muscled bunch of hotness on the other end, and while they stalk the landscape, we capture glimpses of her (literally) tortured past.

Okay–so buy it already!  But what I really want to talk about is an issue near and dear to my heart — a topic I’ve repeatedly discussed with Kiersten Hallie Krum:  How to get people to like your strong, intelligent, sassy-pants heroine?  I mean, she sounds great on the surface, right?  You’re thinking: I love strong, intelligent heroines! Bring ‘er on!

No you don’t.  From a romance writer’s point of view, you’re just waiting there in the weeds, sneaky reader, ready to suddenly dart out on Goodreads or in the Amazon reviews section and declare our beloved heroine a selfish bitch, who’s very snarky (but not in a good way) and completely unlike-able.  Yes you do.  And I know this, because I’ve read romances and had this same reaction myself. Oh, the humanity!

Btw, you can check out Kiersten’s book Wild on the Rocks, if you relish an independent, relentlessly snarky heroine.

So I’ve fretted over this problem for years–all the years I’ve been getting on my feet as a romance writer. At first I was reassured by what Elizabeth Shore (fellow Lady Smut-er) said: “It’s okay if your heroine is intelligent.  As long as she’s not perfect.”  Smart words, Elizabeth. Other romance writers say we want to read about people smarter than ourselves.  Don’t be afraid of strong heroines.

Yeah! But. Um.  When I told my fellow romance writer (and thus romance reader) friends that the heroine of my novel loved magic and her raison d’ etra was to know and master magic in all it’s forms they reacted with a unanimous ew.   I said, ‘No, you don’t get it. Um.” And then Joanna Bourne said: “She’s like Tinkerbell.”

“Yes!” I said, pounding the table at Panera.  “Yes! Thank you, Joanna.” Turning to the rest, I said,  “She’s like Tinkerbell.”

“No one likes Tinkerbell,” Joanna said.

(!)  o_O

So this is the cross I bear.  How to make readers engage with my heroine when she doesn’t want babies, or to be used as a door matt by her man, her family, and the masses in general? I’m exaggerating here, of course, to make a point, but I direct you to Virginia Kantra‘s paranormal series Children of the Sea.


I *think* this is the paranormal book Virginia was referring to. Check it out — click on it to buy.

Kantra, at a Washington Romance Writer’s meeting said it was a challenge getting her publisher to accept a older, unmarried, female heroine who was content being alone and just wanted to have some hot sex.  (Sound familiar? Half my friends are like this.)

They said, “Well Virginia, as long as, you know, she’s nice to animals and maybe the occasional old person, you’re good.” (These are completely made up quotes on the part of her publisher, by the way.)   Kantra said by the time the story had gotten through all the edits, the story was set in this very peculiar beach town, strangely littered with hundreds of stray cats and elderly people on every corner. My point exactly!

Okay–back to Bouchet’s book.  How, I ask myself, how does she carry off this cranky-pants heroine who is unwilling to get close to anybody and anyone, and ultimately, is more powerful than anybody and anyone in the whole book? How does she pull this off? (?!?!?!)

Well, I will tell you.  After chewing over the plot in my mind, I think her secret sauce is the backstory. Bouchet’s heroine was repeatedly taught that to love someone is to see that person (again, literally) gutted.  To trust is to kill.  She keeps anyone and everyone at a distance, but at the same time (and this, Kiersten, is the key point) as readers, we feel the longing she has to make connection to the people around her.  We see how, despite her prickly defenses, the cranky is rapidly slackening.  She genuinely likes and respects these people.  She wants to be one of them–she can’t quite admit it to herself, but she does.  And she is becoming one of them–which is putting each and every one of their lives at risk.  This is the drama that winds up the end of Bouchet’s book.

…And now I’m swiveling my head back to my own manuscript, taking a deep breath, and getting ready to plunge back in.  Bye!

Follow us at and clap if you *do* like Tinkerbell.  She’s iconic you know — iconic!

Madeline Ivaimgres writes fantasy, paranormal, and contemporary romance.  Her novella ‘Sexsomnia’ is available in our LadySmut anthology HERE, Her fantasy romance, WICKED APPRENTICE, will be out REAL SOON!(September, 2016.)

Heartless: Soul Sucking Sex Moppets

9 Jun

Two hot twins trying to solve one four hundred year old curse.

by Madeline Iva

Heartless, a dark Y.A. TV show from the Netherlands & Netflix, makes all my guilty-pleasure bells ring.

It’s got everything you’d want from a twisted dark Y.A.: from a paranormal premise to all the pretty people at a rich, decadent, ancient boarding school. It starts off with two hot orphan twins — a boy and a girl — tormented over the fact that they’re awful and they’re going to get caught and arrested at some point as they crawl about the city, soul sucking energy from the disco populace at large.  The boy, Sebastian, can’t control his impulses and kills people by sucking too much from them their bodies until they ignite and burn.

Do we like shows about black-eyed, soul-sucking succubus twins? -- hell yeah!

Do we like shows about black-eyed, soul-sucking succubus twins? — hell yeah!

So it’s the girl, Sophie, who has to go out and git some for the family.  The actress, Julie Zangenberg, is so good, even though their backstory is never spelled out in detail, her nuanced acting gives you all the feels of the young girl who’s had to go trolling among the creeps.  She’s had to be fondled and felt up until she can get them into her soul sucking grasp.  Survival has taken its toll in this nasty world, and there’s a bit of orphan self-pity and hurt in her gasps and cries as her brother sucks what he needs from her.  (In a way that is so hot and so wrong, btw.  When I said this show is a guilty pleasure I *meant* it.)

They go back to the orphanage they ran away from years ago to find out more about the mother who abandoned them way back.  She herself was a teen, they learn, and they gain some clues about her that lead them to–wait for it–Ottmannsgaard–an elite boarding school specializing in double letters.  (Just kidding.) In fact, the grounds in the woods surrounding Ottmannsgaard are littered with the decaying bodies of other youths just like Sophie and Sebastian on the hunt for the ‘truth’. If only they knew.  Cue the cackling of merciless evil male laughter.

Like a soul-sucker about to expire, I hoovered up the series in a very short time.   The show’s characters are for the most part so hot–even the ones who aren’t supposed to be–like Nadja, that I floated along on the waves of beauty and sin.

It was hard for me to determine which if the twins I liked better.  Sebastian seemed more the type to blend into a rich surroundings.  He had that golden boy thing about him.  It was so captivating to watch him fall in love for the first time and realize he couldn’t even kiss the girl he has feelings for–afraid he’ll kill her when his powers go out of control.

Sebastian, tortured soul in a golden-boy body.

Sebastian, tortured soul in a golden-boy body.

Yet Sophie was a real scrapper.  Getting into it–again in such a hot-yet-wrong way–with the ‘head boy’ evil Ditlev.  (I could make so many jokes about head boys.  I won’t though.) The bad guys in this TV show just go for the Hitler-youth thing in a no-holds-barred way.  And when the sexy Aryan-youth wants his sad moppet succubus girl–just, wow.  (In fact, when one of the bad guys gets it, my friend stopped watching the show–that’s how deep she sank into the show’s glittering perversity.)

Ditlev wants his sad sex moppet succubus.

Ditlev wants his sad sex moppet succubus.

Then there were the headmaster’s daughters — hot and hotter, and witches too, as it turned out.  The older one had an arresting quality, and yeah, looked like she could totally hold her own with whatever witch she might meet down some dark alley, for sure.  The younger one had one of those “I’m here, but I don’t get to say much” kind of roles.  Which didn’t matter.  I mean, she didn’t talk a lot, but she made birds drop dead out of the sky, in this perfect la la la I’m even more powerful than you, and la la la, even hotter than you, but whatever, just hanging out…off-handed way.

Witchy sisters. I liked the younger one, on the right best.

Witchy sisters. I like the younger one on the right best.

The core of the story revolves around a curse–a multi-generational curse at that–which has been working out badly for everyone for hundreds of years. But what I liked best about the show was the development of Nadja’s character.  She’s Sophie’s good-girl-but-dull roommate.  She falls for Sebastian hard, despite/because of Sophie’s warning that he’s heartless when it comes to girls.

That awkward face you make when you had a big orgasm, but like now half your soul has been eaten?

That awkward face you make when you had a big orgasm the first time you had sex, but, like, now half your soul has been eaten?

Nadja isn’t really a nerdy girl – however she’s the closest thing this school of hotness had to offer. She’s helplessly crushing hard on Sebastian, and she wakes up to find she’s love’s bitch.  Then she just owns it. She’s the underdog, the one flying under the radar—I liked her.  Sebastian uses her for some soul-sucking, and hey, she survives it.  She’s stronger than she looks. Moreover, she offers to let him do it to her again, to use her, even knowing he doesn’t like her.  This develops into a very interesting dynamic.  He’s not interested in her–and he doesn’t want to use her either.  He’s trying to redeem himself and he doesn’t want to be ‘that guy’ any longer.  But Sophie needs some of his energy, and with school curfew …he’s in a jam.

Only in Denmark would fencing be the only sport offered at a boarding school. Well, not *real* fencing...

Only in Denmark would fencing be the only sport offered at a boarding school. Well, not *real* fencing…

I just get so caught up in that struggle of what to do when he’s just not that into you but still needs to suck your soul from time to time dynamic.  I mean, if there was a season two for this show — I’d want it to explore this dynamic further.

Did I mention the queer relationships?

Did I mention the queer relationships?

The ultimate appeal for me was that whole ‘this isn’t really high school, but who cares’ genre of decadent rich, meets the cursed witchy, spooky, I-don’t-give-a-f*ck-cool poor, etc.  It just reeks of the most delectable darkness, and I could not get enough.

How about you? Any other dark Y.A. lovers out there? What would you recommend?

And follow us at LadySmut where we love sucking things — T.V. shows about sucking things, that is.

Madeline Ivaimgres writes fantasy, paranormal, and contemporary romance.  Her novella ‘Sexsomnia’ is available in our LadySmut anthology HERE, and her fantasy romance, WICKED APPRENTICE, will be out Fall, 2016.

Servant of the Undead, erotic zombie horror free read part 3

29 May

By Isabelle Drake

Each Sunday, I’m offering up a part of my serialized erotic zombie horror story, Servant of the Undead.  If you’re new to this, please start with Part 1, “Do it.”

Part 3: “Thanks.”

Servant“Um, hi?” she said, her smudgy eyes taking on a desperate sheen. “My name’s Mattie, by the way.”

Hayden reached over, trying to X out of the update email he’d been writing to Bob Keeler so he could shut down his computer. Her hands slid down from his waist, over his ass, and around thighs, the light pressure easily heating him up even through the thick material of his pants. Trying to ignore her and his lust, he jabbed at the keyboard, hitting whatever he could reach. He had to get the hell out of there before he started acting on the fantasies flickering in the back of his mind. This girl was going to get him into trouble, somehow. He just knew it. “I really have to get going.”

“But, you—I—” Mattie rolled herself around him, hopped onto the table, and wrapped her legs around him. She reached behind to brace herself with her hands but slipped back when her palm landed on one of the books. She looked back, stayed still for a few seconds, slid the books around, running her hands over the titles. “You’re reading about zombies?”

Hayden cleared his throat. “It’s research.”

“What did you find out?” she asked, flipping open the book with the pictures.

He reached around and pushed the book closed. “Nothing.”

She opened another, thumbed through the pages. “What were you looking for?”

“Anything. Nothing. Whatever I can find.”

She spun around and shimmied, her breasts bouncing. “I can help. What do you need?”

“Thanks, but I don’t think you can help. Unless you have proof that zombies are real. Like some pictures, you know. They’re combing the streets, looking for flesh. Haven’t you heard?”

She grinned up at him, her eyes shining with unmistakable lust. Was it for the zombies or him? “Sounds scary,” she said, lifting her eyebrows.

“Scary is right. If I don’t get something fresh about zombies my editor probably won’t give me any more special assignments.”

She didn’t say anything, just sat there rocking her shoulders, staring at him with her smudgy eyes, licking her pouty lips and looking exactly like a Barbie doll gone bad.

Why was he talking with her anyway?

Hayden tried to free himself from her thighs, but she was stronger than she looked. A lot stronger. He reached down to pry her legs off, but the rows of table lights went off, and he was blinded. His eyes began to adjust, making use of the light from the street lamps coming through windows. It was flickering from the snow, so it was still difficult to see clearly. He fought her legs again, pulling in a deep breath as he did. That scent settled across his tongue, spread to his teeth, making his mouth open.

Hayden gave up trying to break free from her legs and reached for her chin, tipping her face up to try and reason with her. “I think this section is closing, so—” When their gaze connected, his words fell away. Her eyes flickered in the darkness, glowing green.

She blinked, but the gleam came back as soon as her gaze found his again. It wasn’t the snow casting the light in her eyes. It was something inside her. Something that explained why she was climbing around in the night, not wearing a coat, not cold. Hayden slid his palm across her neck to settle on her throat. There had to be a pulse.

Of course.

He was being totally ridiculous.

Just to be sure, he slid his hand down lower, stopping over her heart. The thick straps were in the way, so he tucked his fingers under them, stopping when he felt the swell of her breast. Before he could feel her heartbeat, she laid her hand across his and guided it lower, brushing his palm across her nipple. The peak tightened and she sighed softly, the sound a cross between a moan and whimper.

legsHayden tried to move his hand lower, to feel the weight of her breast in his palm, but the straps were too tight, and his hand wouldn’t move. A thread of panic ignited his nerves, and he tugged. She moaned again, reached up to pull the straps from her other breast and pinch her own nipple, wiggling with satisfaction. His cock responded, the sudden flow of blood making him impossibly hard.

She dropped her hand and reached for his belt, her fingers working quickly to undo the buckle, the snap, and zipper. His cock jutted straight out, ready to thrust into her pussy despite the confusion and anxiety swirling through him. He tugged at his hand again, and it finally came free. But he was still held captive by her legs. With strong, sharp motions, she yanked him closer, tightening the grip around his waist as she lifted her skirt.

The black fishnet stockings ended near the juncture her thighs, just as he’d imagined and she was, in fact, without panties.

The dark wood of the table contrasted with her light skin, and the smooth lips of her pussy were slick and ready. The possibility of trouble was still there, but this other possibility—doing something crazy—was the one he was paying attention to. His dick was so hard he could drive into her with one thrust, he was sure of it.

Hayden grabbed her thighs, spread her legs and swung her forward, angling her so her hot sheath opened completely. He inched closer, so the tip of his penis touched her wet skin.

“Do it,” she whispered. “Fuck me.”


Want more? Here’s Part 4. Or, you can come over to the Servant of the Undead Wattpad page and read more for free right now. Unfamiliar with Wattpad? It’s an online community for readers and writers. Its filled with free fiction of all kinds. It’s easy to log in and get started; you can use your Facebook account.

Isabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, urban fantasy, and young adult thrillers. Best Friends Never, her newest release is the first in the Cherry Grove dark YA series.


%d bloggers like this: