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Bed Dance – Not Your Ordinary Lap Dance

11 Feb

…AS TOLD TO LADY SMUT BY SASHA SNOW

Sometimes you're in the mood for some lap dance action...only more horizontal.

Sometimes you’re in the mood for some lap dance action–only…more horizontal.

SASHA SNOW: I’ve been teaching exotic dance for the last seven or so years in a professional dance studio with curtains drawn, and the doors locked.  The idea behind these classes is to help ordinary women reclaim a part of themselves they often lose to years of child-rearing, stale marriages, and general malaise from living in the ordinary world.  I help them reclaim their sensual side to use however they see fit. One of the most popular offerings are lap dance workshops.

In the ninety minute workshop, you learn how to move seductively and give your partner a semi-choreographed dance on and around him while he’s sitting in a chair or on a couch. In the last few years, however, I made up a bed dance workshop. If you can seduce a man with dance and movement while he’s sitting in a chair, imagine what you can do with him lying in a bed.

This idea isn’t new. Bed dance has long been a staple in strip clubs. Female strippers charge big money to give a man a dance in a bed in the back room. But you can give your partner one at home.

LADY SMUT: There are good reasons to bring some movement and action into your bedroom.

“In fact, a recent science article suggests that instead of lying still in bed, women are actually much more aroused by moving around. University of Texas Dr. Cindy Meston reported this to the BBC:

‘For years we were told, ‘Have a bubble bath, calm down, listen to relaxing music, do deep breathing exercises, chill out before sex,” she says.

‘But my research shows the opposite, that you actually want to get women in an active state. So, you can run around the block with your partner and get them to chase you around the block, or watch a scary movie together, ride a rollercoaster together, even a good comedy act. If you really get laughing, you’re going to have a sympathetic activation response.’

Meston is talking about the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for subconscious muscle contractions that get us ready for the flight or fight mode, like heart rate and blood pressure. She has found that if this system is activated before sex it will help women respond more intensely and more quickly.

It’s quite the opposite for men.”

In other words, git up and dance! Sasha Snow has some helpful tips to offer.

TIPS FOR TRYING OUT A BED DANCE AT HOME:

Set some rules.  You need to do this so it doesn’t delve into sex right away:

  • no heels
  • no touching (this is a fun one to play with–how close can you get?)
  • no talking, no laughing
  • BE SAFE — hang onto the head board or hang onto the wall.
  • Move however feels good to you. 
  • Put on some music you like — not what he likes — what you like. (Cause he’s not really listening to the music.)
  • Spice it up! Remember — practice makes perfect.

And don’t forget — if you subscribe to LadySmut.com you are automatically entered in our V-day giveaway this weekend (2/10/17 to 2/14/17)

Includes massage oil, candle, lip balm, and soap. Continental US only, please!

Includes massage oil, candle, lip balm, and soap. Continental US only, please!

Naked People Everywhere!

15 May

Serendipity-Nudist-Pool-AreaA new book I’m outlining has me considering whether it might work in the plot if I plopped my characters in the heart of a nudist colony. Now, believe me, I understand that such places specifically emphasize the fact that they have nothing to do with sex or lewd, provocative behavior. But, you know, I’m an erotic romance writer so methinks I can bend those rules a bit.  Except I started wondering: do people even go to nudist colonies anymore? Do they even still exist? I decided to do a little research, and what I found was rather revealing. 🙂

For starters, people who practice this type of living no longer refer to their residences as “colonies.” The word “colony” has a negative overtone, such as “leper colony,” and it also sounds like it might be a cult. Folks who dig 24/7 naked live in “nudist communities” or “naturist villages” and frequently refer to themselves as “naturists.” There’s an organization that represents these clothes-free fans, the International Naturist Federation. According to their website, naturism is defined as “. . . a way of life in harmony with nature, expressed through social nudity, linked to self-respect, tolerance of differeing views together with respect for the environment.” Now you know.

There are also naturist resorts, where families can go for a vacation to get their naked on and enjoy activities such as swimming or tennis. OK, side note here . . . swimming in the buff is fun and I can totally picture that as a vacation kinda thing to do. But naked tennis? I’m pulling up some images in my mind about that one and they’re not good. Certain . . . appendages . . . would be swinging and shaking during naked tennis. And, sheesh, ow. It just seems painful and, you know, not pretty.

Alrighty then, moving on. So let’s say I do put my characters in a naturist village. What are the rules for living there? Aside from the obvious, sans clothes. From what I could find, there don’t seem to be a lot. Photography is discouraged unless you’re taking a quick shot of the family or your friends. But snapshots of others? Not so much. Put towels down wherever you sit. (good). Men who may show obvious arousal should discreetly cover up until said arousal calms down. Also, naturist resorts also claim not to tolerate “lewd and lascivious behavior.” Oh, but there’s where things get interesting.

One of the most famous naturist resorts is Cap-d’Agde in France. There you can live, work, shop, dine, whatever you want, in the buff. Singles live there, families live there. A large part of the place is a resort for vacationers. It’s touted  as a good place to have fun in the sun in the nude. But when the sun goes down, the parties heat up. Several reviews on travel website Trip Adviser mentioned the “swinger like” atmosphere that comes out once darkness hits. People spend the daytime part of their vacation in the nude, and the nighttime part dressed in party clothes (it can get cool at night, apparently) slumming for a good time. The Cap D’Agde website even has a section “for swingers” that provides information on a club called “Le Glamour.” Here we learn that “Downstairs is the sex area. There are some facilities with mattresses, but also a lot of people are just standing around having sex.” Well. That’s interesting. My plotting mind is churning with ideas.

Whether or not I decide to go the naturist route, I’ve certainly learned a thing or two about what I thought was a a leftover relic from the ’70s. For me, when I’m out in public my clothes are staying on. But for my intrepid hero and heroine, perhaps not so much . . . 🙂

Name That Character

1 May

by Elizabeth Shore

Who Am II’ve recently begun outlining a new contemporary erotic romance. I’ve got the story fairly well conceived, but I needed inspiration for my characters’ names so I turned to one of those “name your baby” books. While thumbing through the pages and weighing my choices, I came across an interesting tidbit. Back in 2006, a psychologist conducted a study in which six pictures of women all deemed equally attractive were shown to a population of college students with fake names attached to each picture. Three of the women were given “pretty” names, and three were given “unattractive” names. The names’ desireability, by the way, had been previously determined by an earlier student survey. You can probably guess the results. Not only did the women with the pretty names garner far more votes by the male population, but they were the clear winners among the female voters as well.

Name association is powerful. Think of the images brought to mind when you hear the female names Bertha, Edna, or Agnes versus Tiffany, Bambi, or Dawn. Quite a difference, right? Now let’s consider a female protagonist who’s sexy, smart, and beautiful beyond words. She travels the globe on behalf of her spy agency, using her intellect and feminine wiles to pry information from powerful men and get whatever she needs. What’s this savvy gal’s name? Isabella? Nicole? Lola? Maybe even Sophia or Gigi. The name of this character depends on many factors, including one’s personal history with a particular name. But it’s a safe bet that our female spy protagonist isn’t going to be called Ethel. Or Madge.

This is true for the guys as well. Our heros need heroic names. The powerful leader of a multi-billion dollar international conglomerate just isn’t going to be named Dudley. He might, however, be Jackson, Mark, or Miles. There are also regional association to consider. Jeb or Clint are names with more of a southern flair versus Malcolm or Frederick that sound more northeastern.

But what if, as a writer, you simply love the name Wilbur? It’s got some positive association for you because you once knew someone with that name, or maybe you just like how it sounds coming off the tongue. Can you create a macho, powerful character and name him Wilbur? Why not? (and don’t wimp out and call him Will for short. He’s Wilbur, damn it!) For a writer, it’s an interesting challenge. Give your character a name that doesn’t initially conjure up a specific image, whether that be sexiness, or masculinity, or power, or elegance. Call your heroine Beulah, for example. Make her a stunning beauty, a media maven, a corporate powerhouse. Whatever you want, but something that doesn’t initially seem to fit the Beulah image. I think it’s a creative opportunity for a writer to own that name and turn it into something that doesn’t, at first glance, seem like an obvious choice.

I suppose there are some names that just aren’t going to fly, despite the talents of the writer. A main character named Rambo, for example, calls to mind a specific image that may be impossible for readers to shake. Same with Rihanna. Or Madonna (but really, would you actually name a character Madonna?).

In the meantime, I continue developing my characters. In time, as I get to know them, they’ll eventually tell me their names.

Judging Books By Their Covers

17 Apr

Louisiana BayouIn preparation for the release of my upcoming book, Hot Bayou Nights, my editor asked me to let the art department know what the important elements are in my story that should be included on the cover. I was asked to look through several cover artists’ catalogues and let my editor know what I like and don’t like in a cover. Looking at covers in that way, meaning consciously thinking about what draws me toward some and not others, was a new experience for me but one I found really fun.

To Love AgainRemember when romance covers, especially historicals, all kind of looked alike? Those were in the Fabio heyday, when his chiseled form and face graced every other one of them. Prominently featured was the half-clothed heroine, heaving bosom threatening to spill out of her dress, posed submissively with a macho he-man. Those covers were all the rage for awhile, and the publishers put a lot of effort into producing them. Photo shoots with elaborate costumes and backgrounds were set up, and the cover illustrator would be involved in posing the models just so before heading back to the studio to paint the cover. This isn’t to suggest that there isn’t a lot of effort going into producing today’s covers because I know there is. But covers today look quite different and it’s interesting to review what covers make us want to give the book a closer review and what covers turn us away.

One of the things I had to consider was whether I want to include on my cover the faces of the hero and heroine. Tokyo TeaseCovers like this one, featuring just a sculpted torso, are quite popular. The anonymity of the hero’s face allows readers to imagine their own fantasy hero, kind of like a faceless mannequin lets us imagine ourselves in the fabulous clothes the mannequin’s wearing. For me, just the torso doesn’t quite do it. I can get with the appeal of imagining exactly the kind of face I want on my cover hero, but I do that anyway when I’m reading the story. Also, while I have NO PROBLEM with the sculpted abs, I guess I want a pretty face to go with them. Just a preference.

ServedMoving on, there are the book covers that are just photographs with nothing else, meaning no background. I see that a lot on gay romance covers for some reason. They’re nice covers, no unnecessary clutter. This book Served gives an example of what I mean. Kind of a different style, right? I get a good impression of the beach from this cover even though it’s not actually there, and can also surmise that there may be some menage scenes. That, however, raises an issue. It’s pretty clear that Served is a gay romance, but do we assume that the Tokyo Tease romance is straight? I do, but it’s not entirely clear to me why. I haven’t read the book, but I’ve made an assumption about the content. Interesting . . .

With the omnipotence of ereaders, romance readers don’t have to feel like they need to hide what they’re reading since no one can tell anyway. Before that, however, there was the era of benign flowers or jewelry or a garden path on a cover that looked romantic but didn’t scream to everyone around its identity. Pretty, but kind of dull.Must Be Magic

There are choices to be made between clean covers, maybe just the h and h embracing with little else, or elaborate, with h and h, a prominent background, and showy font. What about color versus black and white? Or monochromatic? Do you always stop and browse if there’s an animal on the cover? Cute puppy, perhaps? What about if the cover features your favorite escape, like a beach?

It’s tough to pinpoint exactly what draws us to covers. Ultimately I think it’s a combination of several elements: the book’s cover, title, author, and just plain what we’re in the mood for at the moment of purchase. As I ponder what I’d like on my cover, I’d love to hear from others as to what sucks you in for a look and what makes you walk on by.

A Hero or a Zero? Finding Inspiration in Real Life Detectives

4 Mar
Real detectives don't look like this.

Real detectives don’t look like this.

Hidey-ho,  readers! Madeline here.  I’ve been doing research lately on my current WIP by studying real men who fight crime.  It started with grilling a cop who came by to investigate our car when it was broken into, and has continued with taking notes on news programs or real-life cop shows that go through a homicide case from soup to nuts.  Sometimes I feel like a sleuth myself tracking down a difficult-to-find source.  For instance, I knew about an out of print video of an FBI profiler but had to track it down in live streaming format when all other sources failed.

So far I’ve filled up three note pads with the details surrounding detectives–mainly the jargon they use.  There’s a certain way that these detectives use language in their reports, and they tend to fall back on this kind of nomenclature when talking to each other or when picking their words with care as they interact with civilians. Not bullet holes but defects.  Not people, but certain individuals.  Post-mortem abrasions vs. peri-mortem contusions.

While I’m soaking up the lingo, my mind is performing a casting call.  I need some heroes and some zeroes.

Picking my heroes is easy.  I spot them right away.  Picking the true zeros is much harder.

They look like this.  (Blue tooth earpiece not shown.)

Hero or Zero? (Blue tooth earpiece not shown.)

I was surprised by how fast I identified the heroes.  Some are real diamonds in the rough.  I was watching one captain, for instance, who’s fast on his feet and relentless.  Sounds like a hero, right? Sure, except the guy sports a pervy little mustache and has a phone headset in his ear at all times.  Ish.  At the same time, whenever I watched him in action, for some reason I felt an inner thrill.  Yes, he was pouring through the garbage at an apartment complex in the middle of the night.  Yes, I know that doesn’t sound romantic or cool. When he came up with dumster-diving gold: a scorched t-shirt used in the shooting I wanted to clap. How did he know? How did he find it? The man is a genius. When it’s clear that the trial is going to be a slam dunk, I’m scrambling to finish up my notes while Captain ‘stache hands out all the credit to his men. Now that’s a hero.  I’ve resolved to give him a little make-over before he goes into my book.

The make-over.

The make-over.

The rest of the men I watch who aren’t heroes aren’t really zeroes either.  Mostly they’re  just normal.  Obviously they’re very hard working guys, I just wonder if they have insight into how criminals think? I’m not seeing it.  Can their mind remain agile when they’re tired after forty-eight hours without sleep?

I’ve found one spectacular zero.  He complains on camera about the heat and how overwhelmed he is.  Poor thing.  Yet he’s got five senior detectives on the scene with him.  They’re helping him keep up his paper work, they’re canvassing the neighborhood for him, and they’re all wearing long sleeved shirts and ties just like he is.  But while they are doing whatever they can to help him solve this case, he is wondering where he can find some water and wanders off camera saying he thinks he’s maybe going to pass out.

Excuses, excuses.  What I’ve learned by doing this research is that a zero feels entitled.  He is always pretending to be more than he seems.  In fact, he’s less.   The heroes, meanwhile, may not look like much to the eye at first, but they have hidden depths of fire and nerve.

Do you think women romance readers can enjoy a hero who’s not an Adonis with a strapping build?  I could.   Based on guys I’ve dated, I can confidently state I could get into a hero who’s a little ugly.  But, sorry Captain, even I draw the line at a hero with a pervy little mustache.

Sexy Saturday Round Up

8 Dec
Photo by Dollen

Photo by Dollen

Ho-ho-ho Christmas revelers.  Here is a bit of holiday cheer, just for you.

Smutketeers is rockin’ around the Christmas tree with a 12 day massive book give away, including a 200.00 gift card.

50 Shades of Grey is the Gift that Doesn’t Stop Giving—to this publishing house at least.

We think eggnog is an aphrodisiac–so we’ve included this interview with foodie romance novelist Kimberly Kincaid.

Once you’ve made peace with your relationship to eggnog, here’s a dose of sanity about how to think of your thighs

Will you be home for Christmas? Amber Adams thinks whoever said you can never go home was an idiot. 

What’s Santa got in his sack just for you?  Let’s see…

Carina Press is putting out a call for holiday novellas in four flavors.

Oliver Rhodes wants you to take control of your brand.

Nara Malone offers a simple way to double your daily word count: http://passionatereads.com/2012/11/08/nanowrimo-tip-simple-way-to-double-daily-word-count/

Finally, for all you history geeks out there doing research, know when to say when.

Now go stand under some mistletoe. 🙂

Peace & Nutmeg,

The Lady Smut Elf

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