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Bed Dance – Not Your Ordinary Lap Dance

11 Feb

…AS TOLD TO LADY SMUT BY SASHA SNOW

Sometimes you're in the mood for some lap dance action...only more horizontal.

Sometimes you’re in the mood for some lap dance action–only…more horizontal.

SASHA SNOW: I’ve been teaching exotic dance for the last seven or so years in a professional dance studio with curtains drawn, and the doors locked.  The idea behind these classes is to help ordinary women reclaim a part of themselves they often lose to years of child-rearing, stale marriages, and general malaise from living in the ordinary world.  I help them reclaim their sensual side to use however they see fit. One of the most popular offerings are lap dance workshops.

In the ninety minute workshop, you learn how to move seductively and give your partner a semi-choreographed dance on and around him while he’s sitting in a chair or on a couch. In the last few years, however, I made up a bed dance workshop. If you can seduce a man with dance and movement while he’s sitting in a chair, imagine what you can do with him lying in a bed.

This idea isn’t new. Bed dance has long been a staple in strip clubs. Female strippers charge big money to give a man a dance in a bed in the back room. But you can give your partner one at home.

LADY SMUT: There are good reasons to bring some movement and action into your bedroom.

“In fact, a recent science article suggests that instead of lying still in bed, women are actually much more aroused by moving around. University of Texas Dr. Cindy Meston reported this to the BBC:

‘For years we were told, ‘Have a bubble bath, calm down, listen to relaxing music, do deep breathing exercises, chill out before sex,” she says.

‘But my research shows the opposite, that you actually want to get women in an active state. So, you can run around the block with your partner and get them to chase you around the block, or watch a scary movie together, ride a rollercoaster together, even a good comedy act. If you really get laughing, you’re going to have a sympathetic activation response.’

Meston is talking about the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for subconscious muscle contractions that get us ready for the flight or fight mode, like heart rate and blood pressure. She has found that if this system is activated before sex it will help women respond more intensely and more quickly.

It’s quite the opposite for men.”

In other words, git up and dance! Sasha Snow has some helpful tips to offer.

TIPS FOR TRYING OUT A BED DANCE AT HOME:

Set some rules.  You need to do this so it doesn’t delve into sex right away:

  • no heels
  • no touching (this is a fun one to play with–how close can you get?)
  • no talking, no laughing
  • BE SAFE — hang onto the head board or hang onto the wall.
  • Move however feels good to you. 
  • Put on some music you like — not what he likes — what you like. (Cause he’s not really listening to the music.)
  • Spice it up! Remember — practice makes perfect.

And don’t forget — if you subscribe to LadySmut.com you are automatically entered in our V-day giveaway this weekend (2/10/17 to 2/14/17)

Includes massage oil, candle, lip balm, and soap. Continental US only, please!

Includes massage oil, candle, lip balm, and soap. Continental US only, please!

Who Wants a PERFECT Hot, Sexy Spanking?

25 Aug
Click on image to buy!

Click on image to buy!

by Madeline Iva

Time for some research, folks! I’ve been thinking about Elizabeth SaFleur’s latest book PERFECT, which has a fair amount of suspense, but also focuses on some smexy spankings.

Here are things I know:

Our Lady Smut followers lurv spanking–or at least reading about it.

Many of my girlfriends shrug when it comes to spanking, don’t get it at all, or totally love it.  I’d say it’s about a third each.  These are women over thirty, who are comfortable with sex, with themselves, and with men.

There’s an assumption (when one looks at the internet at least) that a lot of men out there are dying to spank women — if not spank them, then slap their ass during sex.

This assumption–that being a man means you are driven to dominate women I think is just like the assumption that all men are secretly/not so secretly dying to have anal sex.  I don’t buy it.  It probably reflects more the general ass-hattery that crops up on the internet.  The asshats are a significant population, sure, but probably half the size of the majority of absolutely clueless and the much smaller slice of thoughtful relationships put together. It’s the thoughtful relationships that *I’m* talking about, btw.

In terms of men and women in relationships, I’m not sure that it’s really true all men across the board want to spank.  (I know of no males who want to be spanked, but maybe I’m just hanging out in the wrong social circles.) Based on a very, very small statistical sample of men who I know about–cause it’s not something one wants to ask strangers–I tend to get the idea that the men are more complicit partners when it comes to this kind of stuff–it’s the women who are leading the charge.  But if it makes her happy….

So for the people who shrug or don’t get it, here’s what I found out from my research:

  1. Spanking is a gateway erotic sex act.  It’s pretty basic, very safe, and yet involves some of the elements of more advanced BDSM: power, infantilization, hurting/caring dynamics, and trust issues. It’s kinky lite for the beginner, the uninitiated, the uninhibited.  It still requires communication with your partner–a key element to happiness in all sex.
  2. Spanking can release endorphins in the body, stimulate pressure points, and even cause vaginal orgasm.  Or not.  It depends on many factors–but with a “good” spanking–and there can be some skill involved here–and pain can melt into pleasure.
  3. Spanking pleasure is built as much upon the pleasurable nervousness of anticipation as it is upon the actual act.

Which brings me back to Elizabeth SaFleur’s book PERFECT which involves a domestic discipline relationship.  There’s a ruler with teeth marks in it in the book that I can’t get out of my mind.  I’ll leave it to your imagination to figure out what I’m talking about. <wink>

In contemplating domestic discipline, and why people might get off on it, I would argue that domestic discipline aims to amp up that anticipation factor.  The man (usually) sets up the rules of the house.  Violations are punished with spankings.  Rewards can be spankings too.  So the tension involves how the submissive decides to play with power.  Does the submissive want to strive to please her partner or violate the rules? Either way, she is in control of the anticipation; first while she contemplates being compliant or defiant, and afterwards when she takes action.  Then she gets to wait–and desire is all about the art of waiting.

Want more spanking? Here are some popular Lady Smut blog posts about it:

Outlander A Spanking A Spanking!

Getting Comfortable Over the Knee: An interview with Lee Savino

How to Have an Orgasm From Being Spanked

The Art of the Spank

A Little Spanking With Room Service, Please

Brand Spanking New

Spanking the Princess, Pt. 2

And here are some other blog posts to explore if you’re thinking about how to get started:

Why do men like to spank in bed?

How to get started with spanking.

Go git you some...click to buy.

Go git you some…click to buy.

But don’t forget to check out Elizabeth SaFleur’s new book PERFECT— it’s going bazonkers over at Amazon right now–join the stampede.

Here’s the blurb:

Sometimes the perfect man is the one who’s most forbidden.

After her husband’s death, Isabella Santos fled Washington and its bruising memories. But estate matters force her to return and fate gives her a chance to connect with a man she’d always secretly longed to call Master—Mark, the brother of her late husband.Mark, retired from his black ops career, grabs the second chance Isabella’s sudden appearance in D.C. presents. He’s never forgiven his late brother’s neglect of Isabella, a woman he’s loved from afar for ten years. Now reunited, he’s determined to earn her heart and submission.As their forbidden love blooms, they forge a perfect domestic discipline life that provides a feeling of oneness and completion. But her family’s opposition and demons from her late husband’s life intervene. In the end, the only way to have the future they’ve dreamed of, is to come to terms with the past.

Looking for the perfect blog to follow for smexy intelligent fun? Click on the follow button to your right.

 

Watch Porn – It’s Good For You!

27 Jul

By Elizabeth Shore

Okay, so before I begin, let me just throw a little reminder out there. I’m referring to the one that says: don’t shoot the messenger. I’m going to be talking about porn in this post – as you no doubt figured from the title – and that topic can be as divisive as Trump vs Clinton. Dogs vs cats. Chocolate vs potato chips. You get the picture. So remember, if you would, that I’m just your intrepid Lady Smut blogger bringing you the dirt, so please don’t turn it into mud and fling it at me.

With that disclosure out of the way, let’s talk about porn! Today’s specific topic involves the assertion, by a team of researchers involved in a porn study, that acceptance of porn’s use in a relationship can actually help the relationship. Now this, thought I, is interesting. Usually what you read pertains to how much one partner or the other’s viewing of porn is fraught with disastrous relationship consequences. Women in particular feel belittled when they find out the virtual folks at sex.com know their partners as well as bartenders at Cheers know their regulars. If only I were slimmer, they think, or had bigger breasts, were more sexually active, liked anal play, etc etc etc he wouldn’t be looking at porn. If only their alleged shortcomings could be ignored, things would be so much better and their partners wouldn’t be looking at porn. The conclusions a woman may draw about herself upon discovering her partner’s viewing porn can be damning and make her feel as if she’ll never be quite desirable enough. It’s a conclusion, researchers say, that’s miles away from the truth.

Here’s a question, and answer it honestly. Have you and your sexual partner had a completely candid, out-in-the-open, no-holds-barred conversation about your sexual desires? If your partner was taken into a room by himself and required to tell someone everything they know about what you like, what turns you on, what every single one of your sexual fantasies are, would he be able to do it? And in the reverse, would you be able to do so about him? Do you feel confident that you know about all of his sexual fantasies? If the answer to both questions is yes, you’re apparently in a vast minority. According to researcher David Ley, a clinical psychologist and author of Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasurethere are many reasons why a man doesn’t feel comfortable discussing his sexual fantasies with his partner. He might be ashamed, afraid of being judged, concerned that something he wants will be viewed unfavorably from her. So he keeps silent and turns to porn instead of dealing with a potential uncomfortable conversation.

In his studies, Ley says that what he’s discovered is appealing to men about porn is that the women truly seem to be enjoying the sex. That in itself is an enormous turn-on. The irony, of course, is that as in any movie, it’s an act. Porn actresses are putting on a show just as every actress does in a mainstream film. But the point is that viewers are buying the act. They’re getting from porn what they want from real life, which is for their partners to enjoy. For them to be open enough to accept whatever predilection might exist and be willing to give it a go and enjoy.

Clinical sexologist Claudia Six said in a Psychology Today article that porn by itself isn’t the issue, but secret porn use is actually a symptom of what she calls, “the great sexual silence in many heterosexual relationships.” (nb – whether or not there’s a silence in homosexual relationships – and I gotta believe there must be, at least in some – wasn’t stated in the article so I’m sticking with what they gave me, which dealt with hetero couples). Couples, Six says, are often clueless about their sexual selves. This is where the statement came in that accepted porn viewing between couples in a relationship can actually have positive outcomes. If partners see what the others are into, what turns them on, by seeing what they view in porn, it can bring their sexual expectations together. So says researcher Brian Willoughby, whose findings were reported in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Willoughby and his team of researchers state that viewing porn together leads to “greater sexual knowledge, sexual openness, and communication.” It can also lead to a conversation about sexual fantasies and desires that lends itself well to enriching the relationship. As Willoughby rather obviously states, “communication is key.” So, too, is non-judgment. Men who watch porn can very quickly be labeled “sex addicts” by their hurt partners. But a true addiction also brings in the idea of lack of self-control, and that’s not necessarily the case with porn viewing. One partner might decide the other is a “sex addict” based on a couple viewings a week or a month. A couple of drinks a week or a month wouldn’t likely earn the drinker the label of alcoholic, yet because porn viewing leads to emotional hurt, the “addiction” label is more quickly brought into use.

It’s important to note that this whole idea of porn enhancing a couple’s relationship centers around doing away with the need for secret viewing and using porn as a tool to communicate fantasies and desires. If there’s no need to skulk around and watch porn on the sly, the use of it may serve to bring a relationship closer together rather than driving a deep wedge between it. So say the researchers. But what say you? Sound off in the comments below and let us know. And follow us at Lady Smut. We’re definitely good for you.

I am who I am: fiction writer. Why I chose not to use a pen name for my young adult work

8 Apr

By Isabelle Drake

Before signing the contract for Best Friends Never, the first in Cherry Grove, my young adult suspense series, the question of a pen name came up. Since I also write erotic romance, should I use a pen name for my young adult books? Would that be the better? The more I stewed on my eventual answer, the more complex the question became. Here’s how it went.

I started by…um…thinking about myself.bestfriendsnever_800 (1)

If I create a new name, I’ll need to create a whole new online identity and wow… time? Creativity? Rather use those for writing more stories. Besides, the online identity that I do have is not all *that* steamy. I post mostly vintage pics, talk about movies I’ve seen, all “nicer side of naughty” stuff. No worries that YA readers or the YA community will be scandalized by what I post.

Next I thought about YA readers themselves. Will publishing a YA series under the same name as my erotic work be confusing or inappropriate?

Nah. Many YA readers have read 50 Shades, seen the movie and talked to their moms, friends and boyfriends about it. They aren’t shocked by the sex and they’re very thoughtful about the content and the relationship.  Also, there is a long tradition of edgy in young adult books. There are, and have been for decades, many books and movies for the YA audience that have “adult” content. My point, YA readers are already exposed to intense situations, violence, sex, drugs, abuse, in stories. Most importantly, YA readers are savvy, intelligent and sensitive to the complexity of what it is to be human.

Sexuality and the acceptance of non-traditional sexuality is the new wave of human rights. Young people are a big part of this movement. High schools have GLBT student organizations, students are “allowed” to be openly transgender in school, wearing clothes that aren’t traditionally aligned with their physical sexuality (guys wearing dresses, girls wearing boys’ style clothing). This is world we live in, one that is open discussing sex, sexual relationships, and non-traditional roles. Given this reality, most young people, especially those who are likely readers of my YA work, will not be bothered, confused or offended by anything I post or write. In fact, my sincere and open approach to sexual topics would be appreciated.

What about parents?

I asked around, talking to parents, booksellers and librarians. I found out parents are happy to support reading of all types and most don’t place limitations on what their teen reads. Parents are not actively trying to prevent their teenager from being exposed to “adult” books. Teens are “allowed” to read whatever draws their attention, this include adult books of all types. The benefit to a teen being exposed to adult material is that it starts or maintains a dialogue that both the teen and parent are comfortable with. Parents find this extremely beneficial. The parent and teen can discuss what to read and why. When the teen does read something, either a YA book or an adult book, the questions asked by the teen are not, “If I want to drink, have sex or quit school, what would you think of that?” Instead, the questions are “I was reading this book and the character did___. What do you think of that?” These conversations come from the content of books themselves, not from the author who has written them. If a parent is concerned about the content of a book, the concern is applied to a specific book, not to an author.

6a1c4193f5046b3fd2329a80cc12f997Me being me, I did some research. Here’s what I found. Teens typically select their own books. Based on numbers from a 2012 Bowker study, only 12 percent of 28 percent–roughly 3%–of YA books are purchased by adults for YA readers. And, as mentioned above, in instances where an adult does have input on selection, the focus is on the content of the book in question. If the author has written something the parent does not want to teen to read, that conversation is just as welcome and beneficial as the more common ones about the contents of books.

Lastly, I considered the publishing world in general and the YA market in particular.

The line between YA and adult readership is blurring. YA and new adult books sales are rising and not only because teens are reading more. More adults are reading YA books. Consider The Hunger Games, Divergent, Twilight and the Harry Potter series.

According to the Bowker study:

“More than half the consumers of books classified for young adults aren’t all that young. Fully 55% of buyers of works that publishers designate for kids aged 12 to 17 – nicknamed YA books — are 18 or older, with the largest segment aged 30 to 44. Accounting for 28 percent of sales, these adults aren’t just purchasing for others — when asked about the intended recipient, they report that 78 percent of the time they are purchasing books for their own reading. The insights are courtesy of Understanding the Children’s Book Consumer in the Digital Age, an ongoing biannual study from Bowker Market Research that explores the changing nature of publishing for kids.”

Even more compelling, and, I imagine, of interest to everyone in the YA book market is this analysis from the same study:

  • The trend is good news for publishers as these adult consumers of YA books are among the most coveted demographic of book consumers overall. Additional insights from the Bowker study show these readers are:
  • Early adopters. More than 40 percent read e-books, equivalent to the highest adoption rates of adult genres of mystery and romance
  • Committed: 71 percent say that if an e-book of their desired title was unavailable, they would buy the print book instead
  • Loyal: Enjoying the author’s previous books has a moderate or major influence over the book choice for more than two-thirds of the respondents
  • Socially active: Although more than half of respondents reported having “no interest” in participating in a reading group, these readers are very active in social networks and often get recommendations from friends.

Consider also, Megan Abbott’s Dare Me and The Fever. These books reflect the trend of blurring the line between YA and adult fiction in both content and marketing. Her books feature YA characters in typical teen settings but are marketed in a way that appeals to both adult and YA readers. This strategy is beneficial to the readers, who get the books the desire and publishers, who enjoy business success.

And so that’s how it went. In the end, I decided that potential readers won’t think, “I don’t want to buy/read that book because Isabelle Drake also writes Fifty Shades type stuff.” In fact, I think it’s the opposite. I think potential readers will think, “Cool, she wrote something for us.”

~~~~~~~

Isabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, urban fantasy–and young adult thrillers. Best Friends Never, is available now, direct from Finch Books. The general release, including paperback, will be April 19.

Because you want more Lady Smut, follow us here and on Facebook. We’re here to rock your world in all the ways you like.

All in My Head: Hot Erotic Research

29 Mar
This is how erotic romance writers work on their novels.

This is how erotic romance writers work on their novels. For real.

By Alexa Day

Okay, real talk.

I write erotica and erotic romance. You all knew that.

From time to time, I do need help with research. Not that long ago, a friend and colleague helped me out with some questions I had about horseback riding. Someone else pitched in with some info about Uber. Another friend is drawing a floor plan to help me out with a location.

All these things are rich background details. They’re here to make the story feel more real. It’s important to get these right because getting a detail wrong can pull readers out of the story.

Today I want to talk about those other details. You know. The “good” parts.

I can only speak for myself here, but I do have to research at least some of the hot sexiness that appears in my work. I just don’t think I’m doing it the way the general public seems to think I am.

I’ve had to lie down in back seats to see if they’re the right size. I’ve had loud conversations in bathroom stalls to gauge just how far a girl’s voice will carry. I’ve rested my arm against a marble countertop to see if it’s cold. (The triceps muscle is great for this, in my experience.)

A great many people seem to be under the impression that one cannot write sex without having exactly the sort of sex that one is writing about.

That’s not true for me. I mean, I guess other writers might be doing that — and more power to them, I say — but I’m not. Honestly, with my schedule, I can’t imagine where I’d find the time to have that much research sex. And I’m concerned about what would happen if my worlds collided, and work and play became one. What usually happens is that both work and play become less enjoyable.

So no research sex for me.

In her February Salon article, “I’m a smut-smith, not a nympho,” Nicola Jane writes about the “Erotica Fallacy,” which she describes thus: “For nonfiction writers the gap between writing and life doesn’t exist. Nigella Lawson cooks, Bill Bryson travels and Piper Kerman recounts her real-life experiences of prison. For some reason, now I write erotica, I’ve apparently become a nonfiction author.” Many people, including her boyfriend, presumed that she had done most, if not all, of the things she wrote about.

In Jane’s case, and mine, all those titillating details come from the imagination. We’re making it up. I don’t think people find that as intimidating, but I often wonder why. Shouldn’t the woman who is constantly thinking about sex, in glistening Technicolor detail, raise eyebrows, too?

Or consider: should the woman who is constantly thinking about sex warrant the same non-response as the woman indulging in frequent research sex?

Why should the revelation that a woman writes erotica, erotic romance, or both generate so much hand-wringing, winking, and nudging? Is this happening to the male writers in our genre?

I wonder if we’re moving toward a society that treats erotica and erotic romance like just another subset of fiction. But then I wonder if I really want to live in a society like that. Sure, all that chuckling and giggling gets on my nerves sometimes. But sexy books are still pretty special, in their own unique way.

Follow Lady Smut. We’ll give you something to think about.

Alexa Day writes erotica and erotic romance with heroines who are anything but innocent and fictional worlds where strong, smart women discover excitement, adventure, and exceptional sex. A former bartender, one-time newspaper reporter, and recovering attorney, she likes her stories with just a touch of the inappropriate, and her literary mission is to stimulate the intellect and libido of her readers.

Torn fishnet stockings and sex in cages. Or, how I got started writing erotic zombie horror

25 Mar

By Isabelle Drake

Write about zombies? Not me. Write about zombies who feed off sex? Well, that’s more likely. Add in a horror element–now I’m all in.

ServantJanuary of 2011 I was about halfway through my MFA in Creative Writing. We were given a writing prompt that, we were told, was designed to push us “out of our comfort” zone. The assignment: read a tabloid newspaper, like The Weekly World News, long time supporter of Bat Boy, or the National Enquirer, currently keeping readers up to date on the happenings with Matilda, the Cat from Another Planet, then write a scene based on one of the features. Being the good student that I was, I dug right in to the assignment.

The two articles that inspired me most:

Zombie Barbies! by Frank Lake of the Weekly World News

A Very Zombie Holiday also by Frank Lake

Since I was soon to be on my way to Boston, I was also inspired by a very real blizzard wrapping its way around the East coast.

Before I move on to the rest of my account of how I started to write erotic zombie horror, I should mention that prior to beginning my MFA program I had already publisher about ten novels, fifteen novellas, and twelve short stories. Give or take a few in each category. All of them were written to make readers happy, many were romances of all heat levels, and nearly all were “commercial.” And, to be honest, pretty much all of the stories were written with the end goal of selling them. Like, for money. I mention this last part about the money because in the literary community writers are often paid with contributor copies or not at all. So, I entered my MFA program with the mindset that the work I produced should be, could be, salable. Enter this assignment.

Even before my fingers typed the first word, I was already planning to write not only one scene, but a whole story that my readers would be excited about reading. In the winter of 2011, I was writing all erotica and erotic romance. So, the story had to have sex. Problem: sex scenes with yucky rotting zombies would not be…pretty. Or alluring. Solution: attractive zombies. Logical solution: zombies that live off sex. Even better solution logical solution: zombies that live off sex with human captives. That’s right, as long as they have enough sex with their human captives, they stay attractive. Bonus to the improved solution: sex scenes will be necessary and part of the storyline.legs

The current East Coast blizzard intrigued me because it had shut down entire cities, halted travel. That sort of thing doesn’t, or rather didn’t, happen very often. What if zombies roamed an entire frozen city? A city held hostage to a fierce winter storm? One thing that came to my mind, zombies don’t feel the cold. That’s creepy. I took that idea and went with it. Soon, my tribe of sex zombies had extraordinary strength, from all that sex no doubt, and the ability to climb ice coated buildings. The last thing I needed was a zombie. An sexy, aggressive sex-hungry zombie. My inspiration? Zombie Barbie. Once my imagination was done with her, she was built like an Amazon goddess, wearing a mini-skirt, torn fishnets, and heavy black boots. Simply put. Mattie is a badass who takes what, and who, she wants. Her victim? A tabloid newspaper writer named Hayden.

Servant of the Undead breaks some of the “rules.” For one thing, the point of view character is male. Hayden’s capture and subsequent servicing, read: giving Mattie the sex she craves, is the main storyline. The other thing, he is the captive, not her. So, to see what readers think of this role-reversal, I decided to post the novel on Wattpad, the free, online reading community. I post a new part every Friday. Each part is about 1000 words long and features a “fishnet” video.

meThe fishnet videos, like the story itself, are an “accidental” creation. I did not set out to use myself to promote Servant. But after looking for images that suited my story and uncompromising zombie Mattie, I came up empty. My solution to this dilemma: put on my own leather mini, torn fishnets, and boots, then go out into my backyard and make my own pics and videos. I imagine I looked a tad eccentric wandering around my backyard, climbing on my woodpile and such, dressed that way and with a hoodie, undone hair and no makeup, but hey–I’m a writer. The neighbors know I’m weird.

You can check out Servant of the Undead on Wattpad, let me know what you think about that role reversal, then come back every Friday for the next part of the story. Want to be sure you don’t miss any? Add the Servant to your Wattpad Reading List.

Isabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, and urban fantasy. Her most recent novel, Off the Rails, is a romantic comedy about a girl faced with one of life’s most challenging events: the high school reunion.

Because you want more Lady Smut, follow us here and on Facebook. We’re here to rock your world in all the ways you like.

Bring Horns: Watching, Cuckholding, & Other Things Couples Do on Dirty Dates

12 Nov
51lHgVvIboL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_

Click to buy.

by Madeline Iva

Curious about cuckholding—a kind of couples kink? (Say that three times fast!)

Then you wanna check out CROSSTOWN CRUSH.  Samira is married to Mike.  So Samira comes home from girl’s night out covered in men’s cologne so Mike can get jealous. (Cause it turns him on.)  Then he confronts her on it, and she humiliates him with a shrugging confession of his inadequacy. (Cause it makes him hot.) She spells out her need to get a good dicking by someone other than him. Which–you guessed it–gets him horny as hell. Then he goes all cave man on her, and ‘reclaims’ her, i.e. boinks her with a fierce roughness which she really likes, so they both get off.

This was a weird book for Cara McKenna. A careful book. Samira is going along with her husband’s kink and it’s with raised eyebrows that we readers follow her on that journey.

It’s like as she wrote it Cara was thinking “This could go so wrong in several hundred ways.” And then she just grabbed her readers by the hand, saying “I’m gonna explain this, and then, trust me, it’s gonna be hot.”

And that’s what she does. Explains and explains. Then it gets pretty hot.

Pink Bow

Click to buy — .99 cents!

Because what happens is, Mike and Samira decide to up the ante and get a real guy to play the role of the man shagging Samira in their fantasy life.  Enter Bern stage left. (Bern is short for Bernard) Bern is hotness on a stick.

I think this is a book aimed squarely at me as a reader. I’m like: cuckholding? Hunh? Whaaaa? I needed that intro with all it’s careful Reasons. McKenna presents Mike savoring the kink which works.  But when Bern comes on stage things heat up and get mighty interesting.

If you’re a Cara McK addict, this book delivers. She has that talent for being oh-so-dirty, yet still classy as hell.

Random aside: What struck me most was the emphasis on generosity in this book. (Note to self—include more of it in my romances.)

Moving on. Mike’s kink was cuckholding, while Bern liked to be watched.

Watching

Click to buy. Only .99 cents!

WATCHING by Bethany James is out.  You may remember that I talked about her great dirty book recs HERE. Read her story, cause WATCHING is also about–you guessed it–exhibitionism. It’s a twenty-something’s gentle journey to the land of forbidden hot dirty sex with randy grown-ups.

What I liked best? Those little frissons she has during experiences that touch upon lines of naughty shame and transgression. I’d say both of these books are at their hottest when they put their finger right there and keep it there. Ooh yeah.  Just like that. Don’t stop.

Finally, if you’re like: why aren’t there more cuckholding stories out there? Why? Why? Why? Then check out our very own Isabelle Drake’s cuckholding short story THE PINK BOW. It’s a short little f–kfest with a charm all its own.

And if you’re looking for the perfect dirty date for your own couple-dom, look no further.  Rachel Kramer Bussel edited this great little DIRTY DATES anthology just for you.  Buy it HERE.

Click to Buy

Click to Buy

Th-th-th-that’s all folks! See you next week. In the meantime follow us at Lady Smut. We’ll never lead you astray. (Only because you want us to.)

Could she have been saved by a pen name?

7 Apr

By Liz Everly

No matter what your stance is on writers taking pen names and all of the explosions from the last few weeks on on the Internet that Kiersten Haillie Krum wrote about in the Professional Ethics of Pen Names, history is full of writers who took several names, especially women. And many with good reason. I recently had a chance to visit Warm Springs , Va., and was yet again reminded of good reasons to use a pen name—stay with me reader, this is a story of a writer you need to know about, but you probably don’t. She never took a pen name and she probably should have.

I had discovered Mary Johnston and her story years ago when I was writing and researching  about another woman. I stumbled on Mary looking at me, defying me to forget about her, on the page of a history book.

220px-Picture_of_Mary_Johnston

I don’t know if it was the look she bore, or her story that reached out and grabbed me, haunting me to this day. Both my subject and Mary had been to the bathhouse enclosing the famous natural springs.

The round bathhouse, with chipped paint and rickety boards with strands of light escaping through, had sheltered the sulfur springs for years and years—so many women healed their weary bodies in the springs. The day I was there, shoulders and hips and part of faces moved through the steam and smell of the sour sulfur permeated. I was surrounded by other women, but I could think of nobody else but Mary.

Mary Johnston was a famous novelist in her day. She was first woman novelist to hit the New York Times Bestseller list and was no ordinary writer—or woman, for that matter. She turned from being a very successful writer of turn-of-the-century romance novels into an early feminist and defiant champion of women’s suffrage—at serious cost.

Johnston was a successful novelist during a time when “genteel” women working for themselves—let alone as writers—were looked down on in society circles. Mary was Southern, and perhaps it was worse for her. Sometimes I think we modern women writers forget that it’s really only  in our recent history that writing was considered an appropriate undertaking for women. Mary, however,  was widely accepted—as long as she concentrated her efforts on historical romances like “Prisoners of Hope” (1898), “To Have and to Hold” (1900), and “Sir Mortimer” (1904)—all focusing on colonial times in Virginia. “To Have and to Hold” was published in 1900 by Houghton Mifflin and became the bestselling novel in the United States in 1900. Mary’s next work “Audrey” was the 5th bestselling book in the U.S. in 1902. So was “Sir Mortimer” in 1904.

Three of Mary’s books were adapted to film. “Audrey” was made into a silent film of the same name in 1916, and her blockbuster work “To Have and to Hold” was made into a two silent films—the first in 1918 and another in 1922. “Pioneers of the Old South” was adapted to film in 1923 under the title “Jamestown.”

Along the way, Mary built a colonial revival mansion in Warm Springs, Va., that architects say is every bit as defiant as Mary. She called the place Three Hills because of its view.

three_hills

Mary, who had lived in Richmond, Va., had been summering with her family in the old Warm Springs since 1903—and had grown to love the area. She earned plenty of money from books sales and film rights—three of her novels would be made into movies. (Yet, how many of us have even heard of her?) She had not married, and had no close male relatives, and so had become independent. She chose where on the property she wanted to build the house and live with her two sisters, Eloise and Elizabeth. She commissioned the architects, and planned and built the gardens. Articles of the time point out how unusual it was for a woman to have such a take-charge attitude and work with builders on her own.

Unknown-5But, unfortunately, Mary’s career spiraled downward with the publication of “Hagar” in 1913—a favorite book of mine. It was one of the first feminist novels—somewhat autobiographical—and not surprisingly, created a backlash. Hagar captures the early heady days of women’s rights. Mary’s personal letters are full of correspondence from women working for the right to vote.

But husbands and fathers were outraged by the book’s progressive ideas and refused to purchase it, or subsequent Johnston novels, for their wives and daughters, most of whom had very little power to protest.

Part of Mary’s personal story can be found in the novel’s pages. Like “Hagar,” she was born in a small Southern town (Buchanon, 1870); she wrote secretly until she was published; she traveled through Europe with her father; and she spent a good bit of time in New York City. “Hagar” was published shortly after Johnston moved into Three Hills, and she almost went broke. Though she continued writing and collecting money from her earlier works, until her death in 1936, Johnston and her sisters struggled to maintain the grand house. They were forced to take in boarders. Against the advice of her publisher and editors, Mary continued to write about social and political topics. Those were the ideas that intrigued her, and she refused to live her life in anything but her own way.

Though largely forgotten, Johnston’s work is sometimes dusted off by scholars and readers. I wonder what Mary would think of Lady Smut. I wish I could ask her if she wishes she’d used another name for her romance writing, so that she could be free to write about the other subjects that interested her. Mary Johnston’s readers loved her, but they were quite unforgiving when she left historical romances for feminism. Yet another good reason for a pen name. If she had, she might have done much better and her name would be better known.

I like to think Mary would fit right in here at Lady Smut. After all, her dying words were, “Listen to me…” She had something to say, but left us to wonder.

Follow along with us on Lady Smut. We have something to say—and we won’t leaving you wondering.

 

 

No Holds Barred: Knocked Out by Sexy Fighters

22 Mar
You like it rough? Yeah, me too. Click to buy.

You like it rough? Yeah, me too. Click to buy.

By Alexa Day

It’s been a good week in my corner of Romanceland. I’m working on a couple of stories featuring fighter heroes. In the stories, each heroine is tempted by her man’s powerful frame, of course, but she’s really drawn to his ability to stay one step ahead of her. He senses what she’s about to do, where she’s about to go, and he knows how to use his body in concert with hers and in opposition to hers. Like a dancer, the fighter’s graceful and quick, and he knows how to lead. Beneath all that, an undercurrent of danger flows through him.

The fighter fantasy has earned a place in erotic romance, right? So I thought I’d share some goodies from the squared circle for your enjoyment.

One of my favorite fighter stories is Cara McKenna’s Willing Victim. Flynn’s an underground boxer who likes it rough. Very rough. Laurel, the heroine, likes it rough, too. Their attraction makes for an edgy story, but McKenna never forgets it’s a romance. I’ve mentioned her and this story here before, and you’ll probably hear me talk about it again before too long. It’s just that good.

Sometimes, just for fun, I like to check out this ancient video of Lyoto Machida from his Men’s Fitness photo shoot. Lyoto is of Japanese and Brazilian heritage, and about 35 seconds in, you’ll catch a tiny little ghost of a smile on his face. I wish he’d smile more (and I have no problem with saying it, friends), but I don’t suppose one gets to be Lyoto Machida by smiling all the time.

Happy viewing!

I had to research the myth that fighters perform better in the ring if they avoid sex before a bout. Many of them do. Many others don’t, however. The practice of abstinence before a fight goes back to antiquity and has its roots in the belief that sex reduced both testosterone and aggression. Modern science suggests instead that abstinence actually reduces testosterone, while sexual activity increases testosterone levels. Check this out.

Who else is intrigued by the fighter’s beautiful physicality? Who’s got a favorite fighting style? I want to know all about it in the comments.

And follow Lady Smut. We like it pretty and gritty.

Swiped Out: Confessions from Tinder Research

2 Nov

By Alexa Day

About a month ago, I went to Charlottesville to meet the inimitable Sven Gillingham for Girls’ Night Out, where I led a discussion about the various sexual things one can do with one’s mobile phone. Part of my presentation was about Tinder, the hookup app that seems to be morphing into a dating application. In order to speak about it intelligently, I spent part of a week fooling around with it.

DarkDesires

Now, this is a good reason for a party, right? Click for preorder.

Tinder doesn’t work like standard online dating. Because it originated as a hookup site, its roots are substantially more superficial. In essence, Tinder shows you the pictures, first names, distance from you, and age of people you might be interested in, and you use that information to decide whether or not you want to contact that person.

Tinder is supposed to be fast-paced. You’re not looking for a spouse. You’re not even looking for a date. You’re looking for a hookup. The idea is that you’re either interested (in which case, you’d swipe right) or not (swipe left). If you and the other person both swipe right, Tinder connects you to make the arrangements. If you swipe a person left, Tinder makes sure you never see him again, which is a lovely courtesy.

That sounds simple enough, right? Yeah, I thought so, too. The whole thing is supposed to move quickly, so I figured I would just need a couple of minutes on my lunch half-hour, while I ate.

The first day, I got everything set up and started swiping. I admit that I spent a little too much time between swipes initially. I’m not going to apologize for that. I certainly don’t want to hook up with just anybody.

Not that *I* was in it for the hookup, you understand. I was just about the research. You know, for the party. Just to be clear.

After left-swiping an ex-boyfriend with more vehemence than necessary, I finally encountered someone who looked interesting. I swiped him right, and Tinder announced in joyous script that “It’s a match!” I was kind of joyous myself. I’d begun to worry that I wouldn’t have anything to discuss at the party.

The first guy is not a bad-looking fellow at all. By that time, unfortunately, I had about three minutes of lunch left. My new friend told me to feel free to text him and sent me a phone number. The gesture reminded me that I hadn’t arranged for an alternate phone number of my own. I certainly don’t want the Men of Tinder gallivanting around with my real phone number.

Not that it mattered, of course, because this was really about research. I should have told this person that. As I’d left it, he probably thought I was trying to hook up with him.

Tinder was difficult. Should Tinder have been difficult?

The next day, again at lunch, I went back to Tinder, resolved to make things easier for myself. That day’s crop of potential partners (for research) was different, though. Instead of shirtless posturing or posing with various landmarks, I saw pictures of kids. Sometimes they were alone, in Little League uniforms. Sometimes they were with their parents, whose names and ages appeared on my phone as usual. I didn’t make any matches that day — I swipe left for kids — so I was more discouraged than usual when I sought out a Tinder-aware friend for advice.

She explained that I was probably taking too much time between swipes. She only spent a few seconds deciding which way to swipe, the way I had when I saw my ex. She also said Tinder pulled photos from users’ Facebook albums. That explained the kids; parents often forgot to remove their kids’ pictures from their Tinder profiles.

“I thought you didn’t have any pictures of yourself on Facebook,” she said.

Alexa's latest --Steampunk story about the mistress of the plantation switching places with her worker. Click to buy.

Yeah, no. It’s a professional model in the cover. And not me. Click to buy anyway.

I didn’t. What I did have was my most recent cover, which features a woman provocatively posed in a man’s arms. I should mention that neither of those people is clothed. It had not occurred to me that my fellow Tinderfolk might have presumed that I was in the photo.

I went right for self-deprecating Tinderfail humor. “I guess guys are probably swiping right for that.”

She smiled gently at me. “Alexa, guys swipe right for everyone.”

I’d have felt bad about this if I hadn’t just been in it for the sake of research. Instead, I decided I had probably seen enough of Tinder to discuss it intelligently at Girls’ Night Out. Once I arrived at the party, I pulled Madeline Iva aside for a bit of a demonstration.

I got Tinder going on my phone and got to swiping for her. Two left swipes, and then … a lean, muscular, shirtless fellow displaying his tattoos as he lifted weights. Sure, his back was turned, and we couldn’t see his face, but whatever, it’s just Tinder. For research.

“We’ll want to talk to him,” I said.

I swiped right and was matched with my tattooed friend. Of course. Men swipe right for everyone.

I greeted him and said I was about to give a presentation for a group. I asked if he was interested in answering a few questions.

He asked if I wanted to hook up. A fair question, this being Tinder and all.

“Right now?” I asked. I explained that I wouldn’t be available for a while.

After some thought — maybe two full minutes — he said that would be fine. Then he asked where I lived.

But it was time for my talk. I closed out and got down to business, and by the time I was done, I imagine he’d found a more convenient partner. I never heard from him again, and I think he’s expunged our conversation from his end. I might have felt something about that if it hadn’t been all about the research.

So it’s been a month now, and now that I’ve told all of you about my Inspiring Adventures with Tinder, I can uninstall it once and for all. And I will. As soon as I’m sure there’s nothing else I need to research.

As for you, you’ll want to follow Lady Smut. We’re here looking for friends first, and maybe something more, if things work out.

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