Tag Archives: Elizabeth Shore

Stressed At Work? Take A Masturbation Break

25 Jan
Someone needs a break!

Someone needs a break!

By Elizabeth Shore

Although I’m not a smoker, I’ve always felt there’s something appealing about taking a cigarette break at work.

Know what I mean?

You go outside for a few minutes, get some fresh air, and just chill the heck out for a few minutes away from the phone, the computer, and those annoying work mates. It’s a few perfect moments to de-stress. And because it’s so darn perfect, seems like there ought to be a similar work stress break for us non-smokers. Sure, we could go outside as well and just stand there, but somehow not having the ciggie prop to accompany the standing doesn’t seem quite right. So what to do?? Well, according to some doctors, their go-to Rx is to find a private spot and rub out some self love. You read that right. To de-stress at work, they say you should take a masturbation break.

Psychologist and Life Coach Dr. Cliff Arnall, in an article posted in metro.co.uk., says, “I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling, Certainly taking a masturbation break for boredom or an escape would increase work focus.”

I like the way you think, Cliff! After all, in corporate lingo, masturbation breaks seem like the perfect “win-win” situation. They’re healthy for the employee since she’ll be more relaxed and better able to focus on work, and healthy for the company because a happy employee is a productive employee. Anyone see a problem here?

Not Hot Octopuss. Last year the sex toy maker debuted its inaugural “masturbation booth” on 28th street and 5th avenue in NYC and claims to have had 100 men take full advantage of it on its debut day. Success like that surely means expansion, right? Right on! Hot Octopuss says it’ll be setting up more self-love booths in other major cities across the globe, so stayed tuned. Of courose, what I want to know is, where are booths for the women?

There are some religious groups, of course, who want nothing whatsoever to do with “pleasures of the flesh.” Porn-free.org states that masturbation, “opens the door to the deceiving influences of lust.” Sounds serious. However, there is a possibility that the masturbation break at work could potentially lead to sexual harassment situations. Or hostile workplace environments. For instance, if employees started bringing in their favorite skin mags as a way to “inspire” them during their breaks and then accidentally left them lying around. Or worse yet, asked a fellow employee to be the source of inspiration. If the solo becomes a duo, then inappropriate workplace behavior become an HR nightmare just waiting to happen.

Those concerns aside, the masturbation break is, literally, just what the doctor ordered as a way to de-stress. Apparently plenty of workers have already jumped on that bandwagon. A Time Out New York poll had 39 percent of male respondents confessing to doing the deed, and a 2012 Glamour magazine poll put the figure at 31 percent of all workers.

What do you think? Are you in on the masturbation break at work, or is it better to keep work and play separate? Let us know in the comments, and be sure to follow us at Lady Smut, where our posts are always a nice break. No lube required.

Why You’re Not Cruising Down The Threeway Freeway

18 Jan

By Elizabeth Shore

Over the past almost five years now, we’ve written our handful of posts on ménages here at Lady Smut. Madeline Iva has covered both zombie ménage and vampire ménage, and she and Elisabeth SaFleur have written about it from Charlotte Stein‘s point of view. We’ve also had my post on a friend’s recollection of her real-life ménage. If all these threeway fun play posts have gotten you in a mood to dabble in the world of ménage, then how come you’re not cookin’ up a bacon samie of your own? Because, as we’ve learned, it’s damned hard.

A friend recently  hipped me up to an interesting article in the New York Post about the challenges of morphing your ménage fantasy into real-life slap and tickle among you and two lusty partners. On the surface it seems as if it wouldn’t be all that tough to find a willing partner or partners to make the ménage fantasy happen. You’ll see it listed on those top ten lists of women’s fantasies plastered all over the internet. A ménage is kind of like a Miss Texas contestant in a beauty pageant – almost always among the finalists. So in theory, with so many people allegedly lusting for three-ways, finding a partner would be like finding a vibrator. Just take your pick from among the many available. But according to the article, it’s not that easy.

If you think about it, it’s hard enough finding one person with whom you want to have sex multiple times. Sure, you can do a quick hook-up on Tinder for an easy one-nighter, but inevitably it’s just a single night for a reason. Getting the chemistry right is work, and it does indeed require you to kiss a lot of frogs before finding a prince. Or even just someone normal. On top of that, if you’re wanting to add a third person to the mix, now you’ve got two people – you and your partner – who both have preferences for what they like and want in the additional person.

Introducing the concept of a “unicorn” – a bisexual person who joins an existing couple’s relationship – can be an exciting way to add spice. The unicorn can theoretically make that ménage fantasy come true without damaging a couple’s foundation. Kind of a real-life sex toy with no emotional strings attached. Except that the unicorn is, in fact, a live person with his or her (often a her, though not always) own set of feelings and needs. In an article in marie claire, a woman who served as a sexual unicorn ended up getting involved with the husband behind the wife’s back and ultimately tossed aside when it became too complicated. Talk about being the ultimate third wheel.

But the NY Post article interviewed several women who’ve served as unicorns for which the experience has been positive. They cite several reasons: the ability to please and tease both men and women (assuming the ménage is M/F/F and the unicorn is a woman); it’s flattering to be wanted by not one but two people; it allows for the ability to be a pleaser, to make other’s fantasies come true; and it allows one to have intimacy but not the jealousy that can often come when an additional person invades a traditional couple relationship. If you’re just “servicing” the couple, you’re not going to be jealous. Or so it’s supposed to go.

But the downside, as noted earlier, is that unicorns do have feelings and they do have needs. If involvement in a relationship turns emotional but the emotional needs aren’t being met, that’s going to be nothing but a complicated world of hurt. The woman in the marie claire article had that very thing happen to her. She and the husband began developing feelings for one another, but his desire not to leave his wife meant she was eventually kicked to the curb. And the unicorn herself didn’t want only the husband, she wanted the package deal. Since the wife no longer desired it, the unicorn misses out.

So what to do? How do you have a successful threeway? An article at greatist.com offers sage advice, including establishing ground rules and having an exit strategy. And don’t forget about the needs of your unicorn. They’re not just there to serve as glorified toys. Take these tips and you’ll soon learn that unicorns aren’t just fantasies.

What do you say, oh reader? Would you have a threeway? Would you serve as a unicorn? Let us know in the comments below, and don’t forget to sign up for our Lady Smut newsletter. Free stories and fun stuff you won’t get from the blog alone. Go ahead, hit that little pink button. You know you want to.

Elizabeth Shore writes both contemporary and historical erotic romance. Her newest book is an erotic historical novella, Desire Rising, from The Wild Rose Press. Other releases include Hot Bayou Nights and The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires

 

 

Big Brother Censoring You

11 Jan

Don’t look, it’s not good for you

By Elizabeth Shore

Isn’t it nice that nowadays porn viewing can be simple and discreet? No need to truck on down to a seedy video store and rent tapes while ignoring the cashier’s smirking face. Or, worse yet, slink into some stained-filled booth and watch videos in semi-public. With the age of the internet, it’s a piece of cake! One’s porn viewing can be done in the privacy of home. Just launch your browser and go to town. Oh, wait. Maybe not if you live in South Carolina.

Palmetto-state dwellers can watch porn on their computers, too, but if a certain legislator has his way, that might change. Residents will still be able to do it – as long as they pay for permission. State Rep Bill Chumley (R) has put forth a bill that would require all new computers sold in the state to come pre-installed with porn-blocking software. Don’t want it, you say? You like watching naked people online? Good news – that pesky software can be removed as long as you ante-up a $20 fee.

Admittedly, $20 bucks isn’t much, and the money would go toward the state attorney general’s efforts toward anti-sex trafficking. Rep Chumley, who says this is an issue he’s “pretty passionate about,” says the blocker would prevent kids from accessing obscene material or from being exploited themselves (just how that would work Rep Chumley hasn’t elaborated on, but it sounds good). So, in other words, Chumley’s “pretty passionate” about state-sponsored censorship.

This all might sound like a whole lotta public shaming, but South Carolina’s not alone in their war against porn. In April last year, Utah officially declared porn a “public health crisis” by passing a resolution declaring that porn is “evil, degrading, addictive, and harmful” and hoping the resolution will work to unite communities in trying to stop it. After all, if it’s a public health crisis, like obesity, for example, than surely it must be costing communities tons o’ money in lost revenue, right? Except that studies are conflicted as to whether viewing pornography – even at a young age – has a detrimental physical or psychological effect, and therefore it’s unclear what “public health costs” pornography brings about. Details!

Aside from the legislation publically shaming new computer buyers into having to admit they want their porn, the whole issue of free speech comes into play. Isn’t blocking an expression of something equivalent to blocking the right to express it? Courts in the past have struck down proposed laws to block porn, citing First Amendment rights, but South Carolina’s Chumley says  the concern isn’t based on morality or free speech. It’s corrupting people! That’s why it must be blocked.

Exactly what will come of this legislation, if anything, remains to be seen. Nowadays porn is everywhere and filters or not, getting it for free is as easy as a couple clicks of the mouse. According to an article in The Washington Post, porn trafficking website Pornhub had one of its biggest years ever in 2015, so the appetite for porn has only increased. But that seems to be the very reason congressmen (and yes, it’s men behind the legislation), are passionate about starting conversations around the evil ills of porn – because it is indeed so ubiquitous.

Public health hazard? Evil ill of society? Cool thing that millions want? The debate against porn rages on, which is exactly what legislators say is the aim of their resolution: to get people talking about porn.

So…do you like a little government with your porn? Does the South Carolina porn blocking resolution make sense? Sound off in the comments below, and be sure to follow us at Lady Smut, where we’ve always got ways to get people talking.

Forest Bathing Your Way To Less Stress

4 Jan

By Elizabeth Shore

Let’s face it, now that we’re four days into the new year, the resolutions you made with such shiny optimism are already starting to tarnish. We’re back at work, the kids are back at school, the usual routines you had before holiday madness set in have returned with a vengeance and you don’t know how in the world you thought fitting in daily gym dates and eating salads had even a snowball’s chance in hell at success. Any moment of stress-free existence you may have had during the break – fleeting though it was – is now as gone as the presents you returned, and you’re paying the price. Your blood pressure’s as high as your piles of unfinished work and stress levels are through the roof. Ain’t life grand.

Consider this. According to Prevention.com, 90% of Americans report feeling stressed over at least one thing during the holiday season. Ninety percent! So thinking that a having break from the daily grind will rejuvenate you is like thinking that drinking a cup of coffee will make up for years of sleep deprivation. So what to do? Should you just accept that your life is a hopeless, never-ending hamster wheel? That the only people living stress-free lives are monks? Hell no. How about actually making an honest-to-goodness conscious effort to de-stress? Setting aside time for the sole purpose of calming your anxieties and centering your soul? Sounds good, right? So do what the Japanese do: take a bath in the forest.

Shinrin Yoku is Japanese for forest bathing. To be clear, you’re not hauling a tub into the woods like people in a Cialis commercial. Instead, forest bathing is a health-enhancing technique of letting the sights, sounds, and smells of being in the forest wash over you as you wonder. Bathing, as it were, in the sensations of the woods. To be a proper forest bather is not simply to trek along a woodsy path and call it a day. Instead, it’s to immerse oneself in all that the forest offers. Listen to the birds. Smell the earthiness. Feel the rustling wind on your cheeks. Bathe in the forest experience and feel your stress levels plummet.

The folks at shinrin-yoku.org have put up a three-minute video on YouTube to give you an introduction to the concept. Look! I’ve found it for you:

 

Amos Clifford, one of the leading voice of forest therapy, states in an article in Women’s Health magazine that a single three-hour walk in the woods can calm your mind and body for a week. Sounds good, but what if you happen to live where there’s nary a forest in sight? Fear not. Immersion in any natural setting can work just as well, from mountains to deserts to beaches. Even a park would do, as long as you can get away from your every day environment and immerse yourself in the natural. Phones and other electronic devices are strictly verboten. You’ve got to be able to escape the confines of stressful daily life and notice the nature around you. Another good thing to know is that while a three-hour immersion is recommended, studies have shown that even a few minutes of being in a natural setting can help calm and soothe the savage – and stressed – beast in us all.

The forest bathing movement and “ecotherapy” is catching on. Doctors are writing “nature prescriptions” to address everything from anxiety and depression to high blood pressure and diabetes. Studies purport to show that nature walks reduce cortisol – the hormone released during times of stress – and leave participants feeling happy and relaxed in the great outdoors.

Why not give it a try? Writer Gemma Hartley of the Women’s Health magazine article states that her writing flowed better than it had in years after she’d gone on a forest bathing retreat. So relax and rejuvenate with a bath in the woods. Your mind and body will thank you.

 

Have Yourself A Kinky Little Christmas

14 Dec

Wanna celebrate with me?

By Elizabeth Shore

Egad, can it be? Are we seriously saying that Christmas is the end of next week???!! Gaaah!! If you haven’t finished your shopping, there’s no time to waste. Stop binge watching Master of None and focus, people, focus! And yet…what to get? What would he love to receive? What should you do that he’d remember? Relax and rest easy, friends. Lady Smut is here with some decidedly smutty ideas to get you either 1) in the proper frame of mind to ignore rude, pushy shoppers at the mall; or 2) in the proper frame of mind to imagine what you and your gift receiver are going to do with your bounty. So get going!

1. Tis better to give than receive, right? We all know that. So instead of loading up on material gifts from the mall, how about giving your man a gift you can keep on giving? One he’s truly going to remember? And just what is this marvelous idea? Why, your supreme new techniques on pleasuring his balls, of course.

The delicate scrotum is to some women nothing but a scary sack of mystery. Should you touch it? Would he like it? Yes, and yes, according to an interview with Metro.com, in which the interviewer rounded up a bunch of guys and simply asked them what they like done with those gonads. Imagine that. The responses uniformly stressed the importance of remembering the delicacy of the family jewels. Treat them as if they’re “made of glass,” said one bloke, since they are “delicate souls” another reminds us. Still and all, soft stroking, licking, kissing, and cupping all made the list, so if this is the kind of selfless gift you’d like to bestow upon your guy, here’s the link for the tips.

2. Pull together a soundtrack for two. Getting your jiggy on is more fun when you can bump and grind to sultry beats, so why not present him with a customized playlist just for the two of you, fire it up and head for nirvana. Or Nirvana. According to Spotify, the #1 song in 2016 to have sex to is Rihanna’s Sex With Me. So there’s that. However, if it just so happens that you loathe that song (I’m just sayin’), Time Out New York put out earlier this year their list of 50 Best Sex Songs of All Time. We all know that music preference can vary wildly, but this list has a pretty wide range, with tunes from Lady B to Bobby D (Dillon, that is) and loads of artists in between. Get some inspiration from the list and then go inspire him.

3. If you’re hankering for a getaway where clothing is optional – and really, who wouldn’t? – why not give you both a vacation and splurge on the world’s “most iconic playground,” Hedonism II. With the tagline, Your Pleasure is our Passion, the adults only, clothing-optional resort lets you bring out your wild child. There are shows, bands, nightclubs, water sports – and theme nights! Ranging from hedonistic school girl to bare as you dare to fetish night, they aim to bring out the true meaning of hedonism, “the pursuit of pleasure and sensual self-indulgence.” Vice writer Anna Pulley said in a recent article that she learned to love her body at Hedonism II so really, how bad can that be? Book by December 20th and get a special “lust price.” I’m lusting already.

4. Some miscellaneous sexy ideas, in no particular order:

  • Butt table. It’s a table. With a picture of a butt on it.
  • Fur oil. Whether you’re bare down there or you’ve got a garden you tend, give it some love with fur oil. Sold on Gwyneth Paltrow’s site, Goop (where else?), for only $39 a little dab will do ya to soften and condition either the hair or the skin in your most private of regions.
  • Organic, fair trade-certified condoms, lubes, and wipes from Sustain. Oh, and they donate 10% of pretax profits to women without access to healthcare, so you can not only feel awesome about buying these products, you can be awesome by helping the cause.
  • Pine Pollen aphrodisiac. Mix it in a smoothie, or into tea. It’ll make you go whee!! Or not. Who knows. But it claims to be a potent aphrodisiac so it could be worth a try. At the very least, it’ll be fun to find out whether it works.

So there you have it. A few gift suggestions for making the season bright. Wishing you a very kinky holiday from all of us at Lady Smut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sexy Saturday Round Up

3 Dec

1-ssruDecember is here! If you’re already seeking relief from the holiday madness and holiday commercials that started before Thanksgiving, we have the solution. Kick back, get a big mug o’ tea and settle in to your relaxing Sexy Saturday Round Up routine…you won’t regret it.

This week–

From Madeline:

Decorate your Xmas tree with vagina baubles!

Some fascinating conclusions about human sexuality.

What is the gray sweatpants challenge? Here are some of the funniest twitter posts mocking the challenge?

Man Repeller talks about the avocado theory with men approaching 30.

Could you be a super-recognizer???? Take these quizzes to find out!

From Elizabeth Shore:

Gaining everyday access to a sex worker’s real life. You can see her naked whenever you want!

Guys wanna look pretty, too. The growing trend of male beauty treatments.

17 exciting must-reads for 2017. Note to self: apparently if you have “Girl” in your book title it gets turned into a movie.

Nice guys finish last. Why women find them boring.

Need a pick-me-up for 2017? How about a calendar of hot French farmers? Oui! Oui!

What happened to the “revolutionary” Lelo condom, The Hex? You know, the one promoted by none other than that misogynistic wacko, Charlie Sheen.

It’s creepy, it’s comical, it’s one of the weirdest damn things I’ve ever seen: a mask that turns your face into a vagina. Yeah, you read that right.

 

 

 

Shaking Off The Tryptophan and Getting Your Mojo Back

30 Nov

By Elizabeth Shore

Hey Sexies! I was hanging with my peeps in Wisconsin over the holiday so didn’t have time for a properly written post. However, I’m giving you inspiration for getting your after-Thanksgiving groove back with this blog post from our friends over at The Muse. Enjoy, and I’ll see you next week. xo…Elizabeth

Reblogged from The Muse

Feeling Completely Unmotivated Today? Here Are 3 Ways to Be Productively Unproductive

 

Desire Rising Excerpt: How To Kill Your A-Hole Husband

25 Nov
The end of an awful marriage might be the beginning of something smoking hot. Click to buy.

The end of an awful marriage might be the beginning of something smoking hot. Click to buy.

By Elizabeth Shore

Happy Black Friday, lovelies! I hope your day has been full of fun – whether time with family, time with friends, or time all to yourself! To top off our day-long whirlwind of fabulous excerpts, the one I’ve chosen below is from the very beginning of my historical novella Desire Rising. It’s a tough scene, because our heroine is fending off an attack by her husband from hell. But we’re all about girl power at Lady Smut, and this scene is when my heroine, Lucy, has finally had enough. She’s finding her inner strength, which is something we all celebrate here at Lady Smut.

Remember to comment on any of the excerpts you’ve seen her today and you’ll be eligible to win our deliciously sinful Black Friday “Basket of Sin” giveaway basket! The winner will be announced tomorrow so be sure to check back in. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the excerpt.

From Desire Rising:

His breeches were loose, and while lying atop Lucy, he shook them free so they fell from his legs to a heap upon the floor. No longer restricted, he pinned Lucy’s arms onto the bed while inching up her body until he could straddle her face and dangle his limp member before her lips.

“Suck,” he commanded, wiggling his buttocks so his sex swung to and fro, as if to entice her.

Lucy clamped her lips shut and shook her head, struggling furiously to get out from beneath him. The noxious odor of his cock and balls sickened her, and bile rose in her throat at the thought of having to pleasure him.

“Do it,” he growled, lowering himself so the saggy wrinkled foreskin of his cock brushed Lucy’s lips.

She turned her head as far away as she could manage while still thrashing about, trying to rid herself of the oaf. Her refusal would enrage him, but she would not succumb to his demands. Not again.

He roared with anger and slapped her hard, striking the side of her cheek against her teeth and breaking the skin inside her mouth. A trickle of blood oozed between her lips.

Paying no heed to her injury, John pressed his advantage, using his knees to pin down her arms. With both of his palms splayed on either side of her face, he steadied her head to position it just beneath his dangling cock. He pressed his thumbs against her lips, attempting to pry them open.

Blind fury pumped through Lucy’s veins. She would not have this horrid, sweaty, disgusting pile of offal force her into doing one more thing against her will. It mattered not that he was her husband; after two long years of this behavior, she’d had enough.

With every ounce of strength she possessed, Lucy brought her head forward like a medieval battering ram and slammed it into John’s balls.

“Son of a whore!” he screamed, clutching his groin and rolling to his side.

In a split second, Lucy scampered off the bed. The door was straight ahead, her escape hatch from hell. Her feet touched the floor and she took a single step, fleeing toward sanctuary.

The vise-like grip of John’s hand in her hair stopped her cold.

“No!” Her cries filled the room as he reeled her back toward him, hapless as a fish on a line. She jerked violently against his hold, ignoring the searing pain as strands of her hair ripped from her scalp. No amount of struggling would get her free, and she stumbled backward as John pulled her to where he sat on the side of the bed. She fell into his lap and he wrapped his arms around her waist. She writhed against his grip, shrieking in frustration.

“Oh, so you like it rough, do you, Lucy?” he growled in her ear, smothering her in a toxic cloud of hot, fetid breath.

“Let go of me!” She turned toward him and swung out, aiming anywhere on his body to hurt him.

Her fingers curled in a fist as her arm whipped around like a weighted pendulum and suddenly connected with the side of his bloated face. A brittle crack rent the air as bone connected with bone, Lucy’s fist on her husband’s jaw. A bolt of pain roared through her hand. She cried out, shaking her throbbing fingers.

“Damnation, you bloody bitch!”

His eyes had narrowed to slits but flashed with stark raving fury. Terror clenched her heart like a fist from hell. Jerking hard against him, she at last broke free and flew across the room. John bellowed like an enraged bull. Lucy twisted the handle, swung the door open, and chanced a look back to see how closely he followed.

John shoved himself up and away from the bed. He took a step, attempting to give chase, when his feet became tangled in the discarded heap of his trousers still lying on the floor.

“Ah!” His cry echoed in the room as he lost balance while struggling to free himself.

He fell forward, toward the fireplace, arms uselessly pinwheeling as his temple caught the edge of the marble mantel. Breath whooshed from his lungs. His knees buckled and he sank, striking his head sharply against the unforgiving stone hearth. The crack of his skull was like the brittle snap of breaking winter ice. He lay where he’d fallen, immobile, his eyes wide open in an unseeing stare, his lips parted but silent.

 

 

Making Love In The Mud To Save The Earth

23 Nov

By Elizabeth Shore

Here’s a conundrum to consider: what do you do when you’re so adoring of the earth that recycling your plastics or turning off lights as you leave a room aren’t nearly enough to show your planetary passion? When you’re so besotted with nature that you’re perfectly comfortable talking dirty to dirt? Or making love to a carrot? Why, it’s simple, really. If you find yourself pining for a pine tree, wanting to truly commune with nature, then you, my friend, might be an Ecosexual.

A good pal recently alerted me to this growing phenomenon, and growing it is! According to an article in The Sun (and really, how appropriate for an article about the earth to appear in The Sun), there are now more than 100,000 people worldwide who call themselves Ecosexuals. They even, luckily, have a manifesto. Here we can read about the beliefs and behaviors of nature lovers who, literally, love nature. They celebrate their “E-spots.” They also, according to the manifesto, “shamelessly hug trees, massage the earth with our feet, and talk erotically to plants.” Well, okay. Aside from the plant thing it doesn’t sound all that nutty. But is this merely to demonstrate a wonderous worship of the planet? No indeed! As it turns out, Ecosexuals not only love the planet, they feel that making love to the planet can actually help save it.

From what I gather, the thinking revolves around lovemaking as a means of rejuvenation. Life begins with a seed, and spilling seminal seed into the earth might just give it a revitalizing boost. Of course, biologically speaking, that’s a bunch of hooey. Human seminal fluid isn’t exactly going to fertilize corn. Or is it? If Ecosexuals believe that making love to the planet can help regenerate it, a quick romp in potting soil might be just what the earth doctor ordered. As their manifesto even states, “We are very dirty.” Oh my.

For those planet-loving Ecosexuals for whom showing their passion for the earth by spilling their passion on the earth still isn’t enough, good news! You can also marry the earth. Or the moon. Or a lump of coal. How? By taking earth vows, of course. Elizabeth Stephens and Annie Sprinkles, whose field of research is “Sexecology”  – the intersection of sexology and ecology – perform earth weddings and have posted earth vows on their website. If you, too, want to take the plunge and marry the earth, it’s important to remember that part of the vow includes the statement, “everyday [sic] we promise to taste you.” Sooooo…. however you want to interpret that, if you marry the earth it’s your duty as earth groom or bride to taste your spouse. Whether that means simply consuming some of earth’s bounty, like a freshly picked apple, or whether that means licking mud appears to be entirely up to the newlyweds.

For Sexecology experts Stephens and Sprinkles, their fervid earthiness is shown in various ways, including publishing a list of “25 ways to make love to the earth.” First order of business: ditch those feelings of embarrassment you may have about you and the earth shackin’ up. Much like with a human lover, the earth has no need for a lack of self-confidence. You love the earth? Well then, show her, damn it! Roll around in the dirt, masturbate under a waterfall, f**k a tree – you name it. Go “au naturel” and make love to the grass. Rusticate with roses. As long as you’re a peace-lovin’ earth lover, it’s all good.

Elizabeth Shore writes both contemporary and historical erotic romance. Her newest book is an erotic historical novella, Desire Rising, from The Wild Rose Press. Other releases include Hot Bayou Nights and The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires

 

 

 

She’s Smart, She’s Hot, She Gives Me Hope. My Girl Crush on Rachel Maddow

16 Nov

Smart, sexy, super hot

By Elizabeth Shore

You know how it is when you have a horrid nightmare, the kind that scares the bejesus out of every living cell in your body, and when you wake up you’re flooded with sweet, blessed, awesome relief as you realize it was only a dream? That’s how I’ve been feeling over the past week ever since the election, with the difference being that I can’t wake from this nightmare. Hillary Clinton, despite receiving a majority of the popular vote, is not our first female president. W.T.F??!!

The reality of misery loving company has never been more true than it is now. I’ve mourned the loss of what should have been with my closest friends and family as we all support each other in the face of this new reality. But there’s someone else from whom I also take comfort, and solace, someone whom I don’t even – sadly – know.

When I reflect on how the election unfolded over the past several months – especially those post-convention, high-drama months – and what’s going on now that it’s over, there’s a source to whom I consistently turn to keep myself abreast of the latest happenings. A source whose opinion I respect, whose judgment is sound, and whose credentials support the ability to intelligently discuss and present to viewers matters of varying complexity. Someone whose logic and pragmatism offer hope for the future despite crushing disappointment. Oh, and did I mention that my source is super sexy hot? Yes, I’ll confess straight up, I’m crushing big time on Rachel Maddow.

For those who might not be familiar with Ms. Maddow, for the past 8 years she’s hosted an eponymous weeknight talk show on MSNBC in which she discusses politics, presents news stories, and interviews guests. Her fact-checking on stories is phenomenal. She’s witty, she’s funny, and she’s sharp as a tack. She holds a doctorate in political science from no less than Oxford, which she attended on a Rhodes Scholarship. She’s also openly gay and has been with artist Susan Mikula since 1999. She also has really amazing big brown eyes. Just sayin’.

My girl crush on Rachel Maddow is the combination of several factors. Her intellect, her humor, and her balls – I mean, really, the woman shies away from no one – all make her, IMHO, soooo scorchingly sexy. Plus, she’s got the aforementioned big brown eyes, a beautiful smile, and nice teeth.

I think one of the biggest draws I have toward Maddow is that she’s a storyteller. For obvious reasons, being a writer, I relate to that. Rachel begins most of her shows with a fairly lengthy monologue, so refreshing from the quick-hit sound bites we’ve all gotten used to. Her detailed monologues are the video version of long-form journalism, the kind you still see in respected newspapers and magazines, or in some of the news stories on NPR. The stories she tells are replete with factual back-up and her own personal commentary. As she explained in an interview with CBS’s Rita Braver, “Storytelling is fun for me. But I also think when you’re telling a good story, it sinks in more. That’s a more influential way to communicate information rather than just reading the news.” She went on to say that her goal in storytelling is to get people to really listen. I for one, certainly am.

Although the outcome isn’t what many the majority of us wanted, I can at least appreciate the advances Hillary Clinton made as our first major party female candidate and the awesomeness associated with that juggernaut. And, too, I reflect back on other women who’ve been movers and shakers and influencers and whom I’ve simply admired for myriad reasons. Rachel Maddow fits the bill in spades, which is why she’s my no-longer-secret girl crush.

Elizabeth Shore writes both contemporary and historical erotic romance. Her newest book is an erotic historical novella, Desire Rising, from The Wild Rose Press. Other releases include Hot Bayou Nights and The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires

 

 

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