Tag Archives: New Year’s Resolutions

New Year, New Man, New Approach

1 Jan

By Elizabeth Shore

Happy new year, Sexies! Candles are all blown out on the old year and we’ve lit them brightly for the new one. Adios 2017. Helloooo 2018. How ya doin?

If you’re anything like me, when the commercials come on for whatever TV marathon stuff-your-face-while-in-jammies fest you happen to be watching on new year’s day, you start to ponder. What will the new year bring? New job? New book contract? New slim body? New president?? (one can dream). Or, if you’re like one of my very best girlfriends, hope springs eternal for a new man in the new year.

For many the new year is time for change, which makes it the opportune moment to shed that frustrating loser you’ve been dating and get yourself a real man. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. Onine dating sites see anywhere from a 20 to 60 percent spike in usage during the first month of the year. But for my girlfriend, whom I’ll call Destiny, looking for a new man isn’t just something she does as the calendar turns to January. It’s what she does throughout the year, every year.

Destiny wants love more than she wants health insurance (she has none, but don’t tell), or money (very little), or any other fill-in-the-blank aspirational juggernaut that many of us strive for. Not my Destiny. Forget that other nonsense! Her hope, above all else, is to find her soulmate. Her lover. Her man. The guy with whom she can laugh, and grow old, and love above all others. In her heart of hearts she believes he’s out there; she just has to find him. There is one little catch, however, Destiny’s pool of candidates is pretty selective. It’s not the whole xy 35-55 age range across the globe type deal. Oh, no. Oh, hell no. Destiny’s future man must be tall, dark, and handsome. Literally. ‘Cause for her forever man, she’ll only consider African American guys. Why? It’s who she’s physically attracted to.

Trust me, I get the attraction thing. Let’s say you’re sitting with your besties at a bar and two hot dudes walk in. One’s a tall, fit, blond Swedish-type guy, and the other’s his equal except he’s Latin. Who ya gonna choose? Or maybe it’s more accurate to say, who’s nature gonna choose for you? We all have our types, right? And we can’t help who we’re attracted to, right? It’s nature!

Well, hold on there, pardner. The good folks at Psychology Today have something to say about that. Evolution definitely plays a part in desire. By nature, men are drawn toward women who appear fertile. Emphasis on appear. Even if your childbearing days are far in the rearview mirror, looking young and youthful – as marketers in the annual $64 billion U.S. cosmetics industry are quick to point out – is a must for attracting a mate. The same is true for women toward men. Statistically speaking, we’re far more attracted to strong men who seem like they can provide and protect. It’s evolutionary, my dear.

But what about that whole “type” thing? The fact that Destiny will only consider African American guys. I admire her eternal optimism, but it does seem as if she’s vastly limiting her prospects, no? What if she met a ginger, average height, average looks, but super funny and a fabulous supporter and provider guy, for whom kids and family are equally important for him as they are for her? If she writes him off without a speck of consideration there’s every danger she’s missing out on an amazing future mate.

The Psychology Today article, “Laws of Attraction,” says that when people state they have a type, what they really mean is they have a “preference.” You’d prefer a brunette to a blond, for example, if you could paint a picture of your ultimate guy. But being stuck on a type limits your opportunity for love. Instead, advises Psychology Today, date yourself out of it. Broaden your range. Take chances. Consider potential partners who don’t at first glance make you swoon. What they might do, in the long run, is make you fall in love.

So cheers to 2018 and to expanding our worlds. I’ll drink to that. Happy new year, everyone!

Elizabeth Shore writes contemporary and historical erotic romance. She’s the author of Hot Bayou Nights, Desire Rising, The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires and (as Liz Madison) Season of Splendor and With His Promise. Her next release, Hot Bayou Fire, the second in the Bayou series, will be out in 2018. Release date announced as soon as it’s known. 

 

 

 

Take More

2 Jan

by Kiersten Hallie Krum

Happy New Year, Lady Smutters! Welcome to 2017! I hope the new year has been AWESOME for you all. I mean, it’s only been 24 hours, right? What could’ve gone wrong?

Wait, maybe let’s not answer that.

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My New Year’s Eve head shot. Not quite drunk yet.

All over my social media feeds, people have been bemoaning the trials of 2016. And I get it. It was a brutal year for many people in many areas: personal, professional, political. There’s been a lot of loss. A lot of sadness. A lot of disillusion and lost hope. Overall, the coming of 2017 has been greeted with an overwhelming sense of relief. Not so much hope for the new year so much as feeling lucky to get out of 2016 in one piece.

I had a great 2016, I won’t lie. I made a vow to kick the crap outta 2016 and I did a damn good job of it. I decided to stop saying “I used to” and start saying “I’m going to” or “I did.” And I worked hard at it; I’m still working hard at it. Every day facing the same challenges, the same roadblocks, the same mental high jinks to get over myself and move forward, to even just move again after so many years of barely being able to walk. And though I didn’t reach all I’d hope to achieved, I notched a lot of watersheds on my proverbial post. So 2016 was pretty righteous…right up until I slammed right into the back end of the summer and down into months of familial drama, drama that led to major life changes.

I wasn’t relieved to begin 2017, but I can’t say I’m sorry to see the back of this past year. There’s something refreshing about crossing that line in the calendar. Moving through that hour into a new year. A new chance. It’s why we make resolutions, looking at the clean slate of a year yet unsullied. Unlived. Options are endless. The great unknown of time spreads before us unchallenged.

I try not to make resolutions. Somehow setting a resolution is the surefire way to not achieve those hopes and dreams. Because it’s hard, seriously hard, to stick to goals that are meant to change your life, make it better, make it stronger. Meant to make it feel more worthy, more fulfilling, more fruitful and edifying.

20162017

 

That are meant to give us hope.

So if we fail to achieve those resolutions–as so many of us do–it feels like just that. A failure. As though it’s a character judgment because we weren’t able to make those changes that are dreams really, dreams of how we’d prefer to live our lives. Dreams of how we’d prefer we’d be. Thinner. Richer. Fitter. Healthier. More patient. More kind. More thoughtful. More fun. More desirable. Better at our jobs. Better at our lives. We make resolutions to fix what we see as defaults in our character. What we’re told are the failures in our selves. What we think we need to sacrifice, to give, in order to be better people. Better women.

I have a different idea for 2017. A alternative to giving up things to improve ourselves.

Take more.

Take more pictures. Take more chances. Take more trips. Take more dates. Take more drives. Take more days off. Take more time with your significant other, your children, your cat. Take more walks. Take more adventures. Take more risks. Take more quiet time. Take more books. Read longer. Read hotter. Read harder.

Take 2017 to the ultimate limit. However it turns out, you’re sure to have enjoyed the ride.

And stick with Lady Smut for another smexy year. We like to take it regularly. In a metaphorical way…of course.

Welcome to 2017. It’s a new year. Anything can happen.

Writer, singer, editor, traveler, tequila drinker, and cat herder, Kiersten Hallie Krum avoids pen names since keeping her multiple personalities strait is hard enough work. She writes smart, sharp, and sexy romantic suspense. Her debut romantic suspense novel, Wild on the Rocksis now available. Visit her website at www.kierstenkrum.com and find her regularly over sharing on various social media via @kierstenkrum.

 

Staring at Temptation

30 Dec

We’re Baaaaaack!  Did you miss us?

I’ve made some New Year’s Resolutions.  I’ve got two goin’ on for this spanking new year.

nutella

You’re evil, Nutella, simply evil.

Resolution #1: No processed sugar til March.  I’ve stopped sucking at the sugar tit before.  It takes about two weeks for the cravings to go away.  I start on Jan 1st.  (We’ll see just how grouchy I am on the 3rd.)

Resolution #2: No social media (except for giving you a links to my blog posts) until I publish a romance novel.  Hi, I’m Madeline Iva and I’m addicted to Facebook.  There I said it.  Going cold turkey for a while will feel good.

I never tried New Year’s Resolutions until a few years ago.  I like them.  I mean, they’re kinda stupid, right?  What I like is that whole process of starting afresh.  Sometimes life is so unbelievably complicated and it feels good to strip away all the excess.  It’s nice to go from feeling all stuffy and stifled to feeling clean, pure, and strong.  Ah, but that’s when you hear the siren’s call.  You suddenly become aware of your vulnerability.

Notorious

“You’re sore because you’ve fallen for a little drunk you tamed in Miami and you don’t like it. It makes you sick all over, doesn’t it?”

In real life it’s probably Nutella that’s causing your downfall.  In romance novels it’s the cruel man the heroine knows she should resist but…when he touches her in that certain way…well, she just can’t. I love these moments when the heroine has made a resolution of some kind and then temptation stares her in the face.

She shouldn’t…but oh, she wants to.  Desire and temptation–put them together in a romance novel and suddenly I’m licking my lips.italian

The forbidden is so yummy.  It causes that edgy thrill of shame.  It grows into an undercurrent of longing, which in turn grows into a bigger wave of sexual excitement.  In the best novels before you know it the wave is pounding on the sand with an unstoppable force.

So here’s to temptation in 2013 and other naughty delights! Hope you have an exciting New Year’s Eve and wind up in your own illicit clinch come midnight.

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