Tag Archives: Sex Toys

Let’s Not Wait Until We’re 70 to Talk About Sex Toys

7 Apr

by Thien-Kim Lam

Netflix's Grace and Frankie

I’m not a big fan of sitcoms, but Netflix’s Grace & Frankie has been lighting up my television. I’ve even been tempted to cheat on my husband and watch ahead. But I’m not. I promise.

The premise of the show sounds like romance tropes on crack. Grace (Jane Fonda) and Frankie (Lily Tomlin) learn that their husbands have been secret lovers for twenty years. You read that right. Robert (Martin Sheen) and Sol (Sam Waterston) have come out and want to get married. Grace and Frankie, who couldn’t be more more different, are thrown together with crisis as their common denominator. The fallout is both entertaining and awkward as the children try not to take sides between their mothers and their step dad-to-be.

 

via Giphy

What makes the show different from your typical romance is that our heroines are well into their 70s. There aren’t very many romance books that feature heroines over fifty. Even Hollywood isn’t kind to women actresses once they reach their forties. To see older women playing funny, ambitious, and even raunchy multi-dimensional characters? I love it.

While I’m not even close to their ages, I love seeing these two amazing women and the characters they embody every night on my tv.

I learned a something very important from Grace and Frankie: Don’t wait until you’re 70 to talk about sex toys with your friends.

via Giphy

In season two, the two women have many discussions about lube and vibrators. The discussions aren’t always easy or comfortable for either characters. Even though Grace ran a successful skincare business, she still has a hard time ask for what she needs during sex. I won’t spoil it for you but let’s just say that Frankie makes her own lube out of yams.

Netflix even made this fake commercial for her yam lube:

During the twelve years that I sold sex toys at home parties, the majority of my clients were embarrassed to discuss sex toys and speaking up in the bedroom. You might scoff and say it’s an older generation thing, but that wasn’t what I saw.

Women of all ages, social class, and ethnicity had a tough time talking about sex. They were comfortable discussing it with me, a person they’d only met. But their friends? It took a few glass of wine to reach that comfort level. Some didn’t even talk to their husband about their lack of orgasms during sex.

We’re excited to tell everyone about the most comfortable yet stylish shoes we’ve found,so why can’t we do that with sex toys? Talk to your girlfriends about sex, vibrators, lube, foreplay–anything sex and body related. Maybe a friend tried a new position that blows her mind. Or you found a vibrator that makes you sing–loud.

Not sure how to start the conversation? Here’s some ideas:

  • Watch Grace and Frankie together.
  • Visit boutique sex shops with your friends
  • Host a home sex toy party
  • Start an erotic romance book club

Sex is fun. The more you talk about it, the less taboo it feels.

Do you talk to your friends about sex toys?

Thien-Kim Lam is runs an erotic romance virtual book club and you’re invited! She is currently writing romances about Asian American women who have mega hot sex. She is the founder of Bawdy Bookworms, a subscription box that pairs sexy reads with bedroom toys and sensual products. Batteries included. Check her Pleasure Pairings guide with buzzy recommendations for the adventurous reader

Bondage Rope Starter Guide: the busy woman’s cheat sheet on what to get to get what you want.

10 Feb

by Isabelle Drake

Thinking about buying some bondage rope? If you are, you won’t be alone this weekend.

First time thinking about buying rope? Again, you won’t be alone this weekend.

Headed to the hardware store because you want that rope – in – a – hurry?

Sounds good. But you may want to think about what’s going to work best for you ahead of time. You know, to avoid that awkward moment when the helpful salesperson asks you what type you want then, in attempt to assist you better, asks you what you want it for. See what I mean?rope-tape-cable-ties

There are three things to consider.

Fiber

Think of fiber as the rope’s texture and appearance. It’s what the rope is made from, so fiber determines the look, texture, pliability, smell, and overall aesthetic. The four most common fibers used in bondage are hemp, jute, nylon and MFP.

hemprope.jpg

Hemp rope

Hemp

Thanks to the fact that its natural, hemp offers great smell and texture. It’s soft but strong. It ‘breathes’ and bends, tucking itself into the contours of the body. The texture makes it easy to secure knots and this rope adjusts to varying tension levels.

Bonus, it has great old-school appeal, making it easy to imagine you’re being bound by a pirate or roped by a cowboy.

Notes on hemp:

  • it can be put through the washer but looses strength with each washing.
  • it looks wonderful in person but is hard to photograph.
  • its more expensive than the other commonly used roped.

 

jute.jpg

Jute rope

Jute

Jute, the other natural choice, is nearly the opposite of hemp.

This fiber starts out very strong, sturdy and rough. This makes it a favorite of those who prefer edge in their rope play. That same firm texture makes it hold knots very well and photograph really well.

Bonus, this rope is light and so travels well. And yes, it also has that old school appeal of hemp.

Notes on jute:

  • it has enough grip to stay in place, but not as much as hemp. As a result, careful tensioning is required when using jute.
  • it can be tricky to wash and must be stretch dried to retain length.
  • it requires careful selection when purchasing. Be sure to ask about the weave, as loosely woven jute will not last very long.

Nylon and MFP (multi-fiber polypropylene)

1424207683-fifty-shades-of-grey-rope.jpg

Nylon rope

These are manufactured, oil-based ropes, so cost quite a bit less than the natural alternatives. Because they are not natural, they maintain their round shape consistently and over a long period. They both wash easily and can be used in the water.

Something to consider, they don’t hold body heat. As a result, some users find these feel less natural and say they fell disconnected from these ropes.

Bonus, these fibers comes in many bright colors, are super shiny and photograph great.

Notes on nylon and MFP:

  • in regard to weight, they are about the same as jute.
  • they are very strong.
  • they can be tricky to use as they are slippery so tension can be difficult to control.

Diameter

A good diameter to start with is between 4mm-8mm. 7mm and 8mm are frequently selected due to strength and comfort. Obviously, strength is very important when considering suspension. Also, the thicker ropes are easier on the skin and, as a result, are the better option for longer bondage sessions.

Thickness impacts rope stiffness and weight. Thicker ropes are more stiff. The stiffer the rope is, the less pliable it is. Therefore, knots and intricate patterns can be difficult. Thicker ropes are also heavier and, consequently, more difficult to transport.

Length

In regard to length, consider what the rope will be used for, ie, simple wrist ties or full body suspension, and the size of the person being bound.  The North American standard is about 30 feet, with 15 foot spares. The Japanese have a more complicated system of deciding rope length, basing the decision on the measurements of the rigger. The idea is to use a length that the rigger can work with easily and fluidly. That measurement is typically between 23 and 27 feet with 12.5 foot spares.

Not buying any rope for yourself? No worries. In an effort to make this knowledge useful, take yourself to the opening of FIFTY this weekend, reread your tattered paperbacks, and check out what they use, see if you would have made the same selections.

Be sure to come back all next week for our Fifty Shades Darker Celebration and Valentine’s Giveaway. We’ll be doing it Lady Smut style!

fifty-ball

Isabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, urban fantasy, and young adult thrillers. She’s also working on her own sexy android erotica.

What are you doing for Valentine’s Day? Taking a bath with your book boyfriend?

Click to see other wonderful spa items from Lux Aromatica.

This Valentine’s Day weekend, we’re offering a Kama Sutra giveaway from Lux Aromatica that includes massage oil, soap, a candle, and lip balm.

To enter the giveaway, hit the SUBSCRIBE button on our blog now–it’s the pink button up at the top on the right–and fill out the form.  One random winner will be chosen from central Virginia where Kerensa’s stores are located and one random winner from the nation at large. (Continental US only, please!)

What I REALLY Want for Christmas

2 Dec

Hi! I’m Thien-Kim Lam, and I’m the new kid here at Lady Smut. Instead of being hazed by my fellow authors, I’ve been tasked to write about vibrators–one of my favorite topics. Enjoy!

I’ve been told that I’m hard to shop for.

It’s true.

My family members lament about this challenge every holiday. My mother sends me more coffee–which is never a bad thing. My sister demands a wish list from me. My husband doesn’t even ask what I want anymore. I don’t really need or want more stuff cluttering my apartment. I usually suggest we purchase something practical, like new tires for our old, but trusty car. Totally boring and domestic, but much needed.

Wish lists are supposed to things you really want but never give yourself permission to purchase. Extravagant. Decadent. Impractical. Not tires.

As I navigated my inbox during Thanksgiving weekend, I attempted to make a wish list to share with my friends and family. Turns out my neverending search for a smoking hot red dress is not wish list material. I didn’t need more books. (Blasphemous, but true.) I hoard most of my books on my e-reader anyway, which takes away from the Christmas day unwrapping tradition.

Then I hit the jackpot.

Sort of.

I figured out the one item that I really wanted but never made an effort to purchase. Make that multiple items: sex toys.

Confession: I don’t need any more vibrators. Or lube. Or clit cream.

As a former sex toy sales consultant and an owner of a romance book-sex toy pairing subscription box, I have a very healthy collection. As in so many, I have to purge our pleasure pantry every so often.

Sex toys are like books. I can never have enough. Each one has its specialities. Each one serves a very orgasmic purpose. They’re the gift that keeps on giving–as long as you don’t misplace the charger.

Obviously, this isn’t the type of wish list I could send to just anyone. Definitely not my parents.

Ryan Reynolds Shudder gifimage via giphy

This is your call to gift that sexy someone in your life with a sex toy. Don’t make them ask.

You’ll benefit too, even if they use it for solo play. Though I’m pretty sure if you’re close enough that you can gift them a silicone rabbit vibe or pair of wrist cuffs, they’ll want to use them with you.

No, not this kind of rabbit. Even if it is cute

No, not this kind of rabbit. Even if it is cute

Let’s pretend I have an unlimited budget and unlimited storage space. What bedroom accessory would I put on my wish list? If I hadn’t already purchased this sex toy advent calendar, it would be first on my list. I’d want a badass vibrating wand. Some high quality leather handcuffs. The kind of the leather that smells so good, you just beg to be bound in them. And a steel boned corset.

Make your list, check it twice, and hand it over to your love. Because all we really want for Christmas are orgasms. If you’re not sure where to start, I’ve got some recommendations:

If you had to make a sex toy wish list, what items would you put on it?

Sex toys, always more than meets the eye…

29 Oct

By Isabelle Drake

Mysterious, tantalizing, surprising, smooth, and designed to make you feel amazing.

Think I’m describing a perfect guy? Nope. I’m describing sex toys—everything from the tried and true girl’s best friend, the classic vibrator, to remote control butt plugs. If you’re lucky enough to be a woman, toys are all about you because all the best ones are designed to increase a woman’s pleasure. They give you the opportunity to take ownership of your sexuality, experiment with different sensations, and most of all have fun.

Sex toys are a rite of passage. Where were you when you got your first? Your eighteenth birthday party? Bridal shower? At one of the shops on the side of the freeway? It’s awesome to receive a sex toy as a gift because it’s an invitation to a sisterhood. It hilarious to roam through a shop with your girlfriends, maybe after having a couple (several?) afternoon martinis, giggling and daring each other to try something ‘outrageous.’ You know what else is great? Receiving a box of fantastic erotic goodies delivered right to your door.

Here at Lady Smut we’re being treated to a some of the amazing, thrill-inducing subscription boxes from Unbound, a discreet subscription service for women who are unleashed, adventurous, independent, and know love a decadent time. Every three months the ba14805650_1242456599151177_910417584_n.jpgbes at Unbound put together a fantastic collection of items designed to put some sass in your step. This month I was treated to the Double Entendre box and yep, my steps have been sassy ever since.

The center attraction of this box, the Je Joue Ooh Collection. “The Sea Witch from the Little Mermaid once said that life is full of tough choices. But what if it weren’t? Je Joue’s fabulous new “Ooh” collection features a core vibrator motor that can be used with whatever your heart desires- be it a butt plug, a cock ring or their fabulous “pebble” clitoral vibe.” Sure,  I stole those lines right from the Unbound’s own site. By why not? That description is perfect. This set offers endless possibilities for private time.

The treasure from the box I’ve gotten the most use from is the one the box must’ve been named for. Is it a gleaming pair of bangles? Nope. Look closer. It’s a pair of golden handcuffs. This flirty accessory is an absolute conversation starter. Put on your sexiest blouse or form fitted T, run your fingers across the edge while chatting with the object of your desire, and the rest of the night is going to go your way. handcuff_mirror_grande.jpg

Cuff yourself? Link the two of you together? Or hook that hot one to the bed. These are all excellent ways to make sure everyone gets what she—and he—wants. Because we rock here at Lady Smut, we’ve written about handcuff before. Check out our post, Very Restrained Foreplay: Handcuffs in Hollywood.

Let’s not forget the yummy Smith and Sinclair cocktail pastilles, scrumptious Sliquid flavored lubricant and inviting Unbound door hanger. Yep, those were in that box too.

Isabelle Drake writes urban fantasy, erotica, and erotic romance. She even wrote a story, PLAY FOR KEEPS, about a woman’s first experience with sex toys.

514-180x288About PLAY FOR KEEPS:

Two men, one woman, a secluded beach and a challenge – which man really knows how to give her what she craves?

Keera Koltai is convinced she’s lost her sexual spark. Burnt out from her work at an adult toy store, Fantasies Inc., she’s headed south for some time alone – away from men. But thanks to a washed-out causeway, she finds herself stranded on a tiny island with two guys. For years, she’s listened to customers talk about lust at first sight, but she’d decided if it hadn’t happened to her already, it was never going to happen. Her instant reaction to the men proves that theory all wrong.

Check out an excerpt, share your experiences and thoughts about erotic play, and follow us here at Lady Smut. We know what you want and we’re here to give it to you.

Ladies, Are You Unbound?

26 Jul
Want one? Click to buy.

Want one? Click to buy.

By Alexa Day

You know what? I love treating myself to stuff. I’ve been good. Or good enough. It’s hard and hot out there, and not in a sexy way. I deserve a little something.

Unbound found me in this state of mind. Unbound is a company based in New York City and dedicated to connecting women to fabulous erotic toys and accessories without forcing them to go to a store to shop for them. I’m at some distance from New York City, but I can definitely understand the mission. In the South, the nicer stores have short shelf lives, and the live shopping experience is … well … often less than desirable.

Unbound hooked me up with their Delta box, a glossy black package tied up with a fancy ribbon, a naughty little goody box that I received in exchange for a review. There seems to be a subscription box for everything now, from cat treats to packaged snacks. But a package filled with sexy fun for just us girls is an idea whose time has come. Unbound satisfies that need quite nicely.

Let’s start with the main event. The Delta box has a JimmyJane Intro 2 vibrator. Batteries included. So you can get down while you’re still going through the box.

The Intro 2 is about the size of my hand, a black silicone pod with two prongs like bunny ears. It’s super quiet — I can barely hear it across the room — and it’s waterproof. And it’s intense. Like hold-on-to-your-dentalwork intense, even at the lowest setting.

Is it possible for a vibrator to be too intense? I can’t answer that question for you.

What can you do with a vibrator that’s too intense? That I can help you with.

I’ll suggest two things. First, there’s aftercare and foreplay, both of which present lovely opportunities to melt those knots in one’s shoulders and kinks in one’s neck. I’ve had a tough couple of weeks, marked by cross-country air travel, inadequate sleep, and people intent on trying my patience. My shoulders needed intense vibration.

You might also think of your partner. If he’s even a little ticklish, you could absolutely torture him with this small but mighty vibe. The bunny ears deliver pinpoint stimulation, and you’ll get impressive results on all your favorite sweet spots. You might consider restraining him in some way first. He’ll thank you later.

It also bears mentioning that the Intro 2 doesn’t have the phallic shape that screams ‘sex toy.’ Once it’s activated, it will probably proclaim its purpose to the world, but if you’re in a situation that might expose your vibrator (again, thinking of air travel), the Intro 2 won’t raise as many nosy eyebrows, especially if you remove the batteries.

Next up is a little bottle of gel. It says it’s ginger lychee flavored, which made me smile. Ever seen a lychee? A most appropriate choice for this stuff.

The pleasure gel is supposed to increase sensation and libido, and I can certainly see how it might pair with the Intro 2 to intensify the results you’re getting there. The Intro’s bunny ears slide over the skin once it’s slick, which will be useful when it’s time to approach your bound, ticklish partner.

The vibrator and gel might be the centerpieces of the box, but I actually enjoyed the other items the most. Don’t you love when this happens, and the little things steal the show?

The box includes a drawstring bag made of easily washable cotton, featuring a quote from Mae West: “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” The bag is just the right size for your new friend, the Intro 2, that bottle of gel, a pair of handcuffs, and a blindfold. (I threw in the handcuffs and blindfold from my own stash. You know how product testing works.) The pouch is a subtle cream color with black print. It’s not here to make a splash — that vibrator will do the job quite nicely — but it’s a way to hide your little secrets in plain sight at the bedside. I just think that’s thoughtful.

I’m so old school, so delightfully vintage, that when I read the word “pasties” on the card describing the Delta box’s contents, my mind went right to tassels. Very cool, I thought. That’s how I roll.

That’s not what Unbound has in mind. The pasties in the box are little starbursts of rhinestones designed to surround the nipple. They attach to the skin with an adhesive, and they are pure fun. A bra would hide them completely … so hang on to them for a night you won’t be wearing one so much.

(Just as an aside, you can absolutely get a pair of tasseled pasties from Unbound, too.)

Now we come to my favorite item. It’s a body chain. I’d never heard of a body chain before this box, I’m ashamed to say, and I would never have thought of getting one for myself. But I dig it.

Getting into the body chain is no mean feat. Like any necklace, it has a way of tangling up when it’s not actually being worn. But once I figured it out — the closed loop goes over your head and drapes down to another chain, which fastens around the waist — I fell in love with it.

The body chain is a fantastic addition to a girl’s summer wardrobe. It adds a little exotic pop to the skimpy sundress or bathing suit. You could probably tuck it beneath a more responsible blouse and let it peek out from a plunging neckline in the evening. Or during the daytime, if that’s the sort of place you work.

But I love the way it feels. The slender chain slides over the skin as you move through the day. The gentle tug around the chest and belly reminds you that it’s on. The subtle sensation of movement is surprisingly sensual, and if you’re wearing it under your clothes, it’s your little secret.

Oh, yes. The body chain is a definite win.

There’s even more good news.

The Delta box is available on Unbound’s website. It’s also part of a subscription. Every quarter, Unbound sends subscribers a box of naughty goodies carefully curated for the quarter’s theme. Other boxes have included some high-quality stuff — hell, this box’s JimmyJane is worth the price of admission all by itself — so I’m all curious now to see what’s next.

Are you?

For a 30% discount on the Delta box, hit up the Unbound folks right now for a subscription with this discount code: SLUTIST30. I know. I know. I have chosen to pronounce it with a long ‘u,’ so that it rhymes with ‘flute,’ but I know.

And make sure you’re following Lady Smut.

Love Thyself – It’s Masturbation Month!

4 May

By Elizabeth Shore

May is an awesome month, isn’t it? The weather’s finally nice, flowers are in full bloom, and love is in the air. Self love, that is. Even if you’re not involved in any kind of relationship with another person, May is the time of year when you most certainly should be celebrating a committed relationship with yourself. Why? Because, my friends, as our pals over at kinkly.com recently reminded us, May is National Masturbation Month.

It’s said that 98% of people masturbate and the other 2% are liars. So c’mon, everyone. Go ahead and spank that bishop. Flick that bean. Engage in a little hand to gland combat. Whatever your euphemism of choice, May is the time to get out there and show yourself some love.

For women, there have long been gadgets galore to help us with solo sex. Dildos and vibrators are commonplace. As one friend of mine lamented as she flicked through the catalogue at a Passion Party we were attending, “The last thing I need is yet another dildo.” It hasn’t historically been the same way for men, who for years have been perfectly content to beat their meat using nothing but a well-practiced hand. Recent years, however, have seen the rise in the “guybrator” and other toys specifically designed for men. Why? I found an article on salon.com that quotes Leo Debois, co-founder of adamstoybox.com, an online retailer offering a virtual smorgasbord of male sex toys. Debois says that straight men in particular are becoming more familiar with the amazing sensation of prostate stimulation during sex and they want toys to enhance their pleasure.

Because men are buying more toys, the amount of choices are increasing as well. Going beyond the “Fleshlight,” men can choose from among options such as guybrators, sleeves, prostate stimulators, and anal pleasure toys. And – bonus points! – many of these toys can also be used in couple play.

But hey, let’s stay focused on going solo, shall we? We’re celebrating Masturbation Month, after all, and this year marks its 21st anniversary. It all began back in 1995 in San Francisco and has been noted every year since. Yet the marking of this month is far from a hallowed hullabaloo. Masturbation to this day has a slightly shameful or embarrassing association, and that’s just ALL WRONG. First off (heh), it’s a natural thing to do. Second, talk to most men and they’ll tell you that watching a  woman masturbate is one of the hottest things she can do for her partner. And women, I dare say, feel the same. It can be a huge turn on watching your man masturbate for you, as I mentioned last year in a post about mutual masturbation. It’s intimate, it shows he trusts you, you can learn what pleases him, and – perhaps first and foremost – it’s just incredibly, scorching-hot sexy.

bestfriendsnever_800 (1You want another reason why May’s an awesome month? Because we’re celebrating the releae of our own Isabelle Drake’s new book, Best Friends Never. It’s Book 1 in her Cherry Grove series, and is a fast-paced, suspenseful YA where secrets are plentiful, and nothing is what it seems. Do yourself a favor and grab a copy. It’ll be another way of giving yourself a little love.

 

Elizabeth Shore writes both contemporary and historical erotic romance. Her recent releases include Hot Bayou Nights and The Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires. Her newest book, released April 29th, is an erotic historical novella, Desire Rising, from The Wild Rose Press. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Read A Book, Have An Orgasm

27 May

KissBy Elizabeth Shore

For those familiar with the vibrator industry – and if not, have I got a homework assignment for you! – the dominant player among high-end devices is Lelo. Praised for it innovative, sleek designs, Lelo also manufacturers one of the priciest vibrators in the world – a $15,000, 24-karat gold-plated number that allegedly counts Jay Z and Beyoncé among its (very) satisfied customers.

But a new player in town may just make Lelo buzz in alarm. With its titilating tagline commanding us to Read! Vibrate!, B. Sensory brings us Little Bird, the world’s first sex toy synchronized via Bluetooth to literally make literature erotic. Read a book, have an orgasm? We’re all a-quiver here at Lady Smut.

The concept works by installing an app on your smartphone or tablet to make it function as a remote device for Little Bird. Start reading a hot story and as you breathe hard or shake the tablet, it will trigger vibrations in Little Bird that the author has chosen for you. Even more fun is that this pleasure needn’t be yours alone. You can start off (or get off, as the case may be) by going solo, but the option exists to hand the device over to a partner who can command the vibrations when and where he or she sees fit. The promo video, seen here, shows a naughty couple in a restaurant using the app in “duo” mode.

 

Clearly the woman in the video is wearing her Little Bird and, according to B. Sensory’s website, it’s easy to do. The “loveLittle Bird egg,” as the designers call it, is sleek (although does look curiously like a Sherlock Holmes’ pipe), waterproof, made of medical-grade silicon, and – perhaps most important – quiet, thus providing the ability to give yourself a little thrill from your Little Bird whenever you like, without anyone being the wiser.

B. Sensory has attracted several authors eager to sign on to the concept, including erotic writer Françoise Rey, the “grande dame of erotic literature” in France. The crowdfunding campaign is apparently working and B. Sensory claims on its website that Little Bird and the app will be available in November.

If all this sounds like something you’d like in on, there’s a solicitation for authors to submit their manuscripts in either French or English. Ooh là là! What a nice way to get a whole new group of readers discovering your erotic stories. For you editors out there, by the way, B. Sensory is looking for you, too. Scroll toward the bottom of this link and you’ll find the information. It’s in French, but essentially all you need to know is that they’re looking for editorial partners. If you’re interested, you’re invited to contact them.

Leave it to the French to combine vibrators and books, but leave it to Lady Smut to make sure you all know about it. Hit us up with the comments about Little Bird, but don’t rely on a little bird to keep you up on all the latest fun. For that you’ll need to follow us at Lady Smut.

Oh, and while you’re at it, hop on over to Goodreads and be sure to enter the Lady Smut Book of Dark Desires giveaway. We’d love for you to win a copy.

One Small Implant for a Woman, One Giant Orgasm for Womankind?

5 Apr
Giggling about the Orgasmia? Dr. Feelgood says to check your presumptions.

Giggling about the Orgasmia? Dr. Feelgood says to check your presumptions.

By Alexa Day

Technology is awesome.

I’m mesmerized by the Apple Watch. I’m super stoked about the electric car. (I’d rather have one that flies, but you know, other drivers.) I even love the occasional throwback, like that time medieval medicine killed the MRSA superbug. Prithee, superbug, what saith thou?

Even as the world advances, though, I have to ask one important question.

Who’s asking for the surgically implanted vibrator?

In case you’re hearing about this for the first time from me, medical science has now made it possible for women to have a vibrator surgically implanted inside their bodies. As I write this, this procedure is available from exactly one doctor in Beverly Hills, and it costs about $6500, which I think is pretty reasonable for such a thing. The implant goes against the legs of the clitoris, it has Bluetooth connectivity, and implantation is an outpatient procedure.

My first thought was that I need to be able to microwave metal utensils a hell of a lot more than a surgically implanted vibrator.

But let’s really think this through.

Is there a class of patients out there who need an internal vibrator? Yes. I think there must be.

Quite some time ago, the FDA approved a vibrator for use by men who had difficulty maintaining an erection. (It costs about $300 and did not require implantation, but I’m not going to complain about that here.) Is it really so unreasonable to think that the implanted vibrator serves a similar class of women affected by female sexual dysfunction?

I’m grateful to live in a world where a woman can obtain a vibrator in any size and shape conceivable by the imagination. We even have sex toys now that will allow us to photograph the interior of our vaginas, although the recreational purpose for that is also a mystery to me. (Again, I see doctors all over something like that.) I definitely think that with enough patience and a large enough budget, most women could find something that will suit their needs and achieve orgasm with the help of a toy. Apparently, doctors have also prescribed topical treatment to facilitate orgasm for women.

But that’s not for everyone. We may never know how many women are in this situation, but I have no doubt that lots of women have honestly tried everything and are still unable to reach orgasm. Still more women cannot climax for other reasons, like antidepressant use. I would think the surgically implanted vibrator is a discreet option for female sexual dysfunction. By offering women the chance to control the vibration while removing the impediment of a toy, the implanted vibrator is poised to make real waves in the treatment world.

I’ll be frank — medical science is not doing nearly enough to treat female sexual dysfunction. Personally, I think it’s because medical science isn’t taking female sexuality seriously, and it never has. I’d like to see medicine continue to make strides like this.

But it’s easy to giggle at the implanted vibrator, isn’t it? It’s made by a company called the Fun Factory, after all. They call it Orgasmia, which sounds like something right out of a slut-shameful sixties sci-fi movie. Both Bustle and Jezebel are covering it, but in the context that they’re sure glad they don’t need or want something like that.

Let’s go back to my original question.

Who’s asking for the surgically implanted vibrator?

I hope someone is. And if not, I hope there’s another breakthrough in the future.

Follow Lady Smut. We keep it coming.

Pussy Footing Around

4 Feb

Couple kissing, red bra, panties

By Elizabeth Shore

So here we are a week and a half away from Valentine’s Day and lots of us are thinking, dang. What could I get this year that would really show him my love? It could be something of the romantic variety. A beautiful card. His favorite cologne. A cozy sweater. Or maybe you prefer to walk on the sexy side. A pack of flavored condoms, perhaps a naughty board game for two. But what about if your man happens to be one who starts panting like a dog in heat at the sight of your pretty toes? Aside from making certain your pedicure’s up to date, how can you please your foot fantasizing guy? Well, my friends, never fear. The vajankle is here.

OMG - The horror! Courtesy Sinthetics

OMG – The horror!
Courtesy Sinthetics

I bet I know what you’re thinking. WTF???!! What is that?! Right? When a friend first showed me a picture of the vajankle, I thought I was looking at a horror movie prop. If only I could burn my eyes out with acid so I could forever unsee this revolting piece of silicone. And honestly, that’s what’s most perplexing to me. The vajankle has to be the least sexiest sex toy I’ve ever had the misfortune of coming across.

Let’s start with the obvious. Vaginas don’t grow on ankles! The vajankle looks so freaky that it’s like something you’d see in a medical book about horribly unfortunate birth defects. The open, gaping vagina planted right at the stump of the foot is about as natural as a penis with a tongue growing out of it. (And please, if there is such a thing, don’t show me a picture. I’m already scarred from the vajankle).

And what about those toes? Are they sexy? Pretty? When I look at them the only thought going through my mind is that somebody needs a toenail clippers – stat! Isn’t that fourth digit a hammer toe? So weird to be included on a foot fetish toy. Yet I’m a girl, so what do I know? Maybe guys really do find this sexy. I decided to poll a few male friends to get their reaction.

“There is NOTHING sexy about it,” one of my guy friends exclaimed, going on to add, “Even if I had a serious foot fetish, I can’t imagine having sex with this thing… I’m pretty open, but it’s kind of disturbing!” Another perplexed male commented on how totally unnatural it was to have a vagina on an ankle, and that it harkened back memories of the “fleshlight” that was all the rage a few years ago. (click on the link only if you dare, my friends. Only if you dare). A third said simply, “It looks like an amputation.”

Despite the reactions of general abhorrence I’ve gotten from men and women alike after showing pictures of the vajankle, if you decide that it’s just what the doctor ordered for your foot-loving guy, there are options to make it extra special for him. Instead of a French pedicure, the vajankle’s toes could be painted a pretty cherry red, for example. You can choose from a variety of flesh tones. And you can have that stumpy ankle a little longer. More vajeg than vajankle.

The fun thing about sex toys is how a couple can use them together in their love play. But the vajankle really strikes me as more of a solo venture. I’m going to hazard a guess that a guy who wants to f**k a foot wants to do it alone.

What do you think? Would your guy like a vajankle? And – big question, if so … would you get one for him? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below. And while you’re at it, dive in with both feet and follow us at Lady Smut. Our posts will be sure to keep you on your toes.

 

 

Sex Toys—What and How a Woman Wants them

9 Sep

By Liz Everly

A friend of mine turned me on to “Frisky Business.”  Have you seen it? It’s a LifetimeUK show (or in my case a Netflix show) that is basically a reality show about “Lovehoney,” one of the world’s largest purveyors of sex toys. Yes, that’s right. And the show is a fascinating glimpse into the sex toy business.

First a bit of history. A few years ago, these two men decided to start this internet-based business up in Bath, England. The idea behind the company was that while there were a lot of sex toys available, they were mostly packaged in a very porn-ish way and very unattractive to most women. How, these two men wondered, could they make sex toys more appealing to women?

shutterstock_190760951

The answer was packaging. Their products are lovely to look at—very appealing to women, who might not care for the proverbial woman spread-eagle-across-the-vibrator package. The packaging is very discrete, feminine, and sexy.

They have an exclusive license for a line of “Fifty Shades of Grey” products, all approved by the author of the series, E.L James. How about that? Very clever, given the popularity of the series. And I quite like that she’s involved—quite openly. In fact, she’s quoted on the landing page of their website.

But as for the show, it’s well worth your viewing time. When you watch “Frisky Business,” you never know what you will see. A fake “fisting hand” used as a paperweight. Nipple clamps as a desk decoration. A squishy dildo used to squeeze as a de-stressor. All in a day’s work at the offices of Lovehoney.

And, I might add, you never know what you will hear. They have cuts to the customer service women—all extraordinarily professional and polite saying things like “The jelly is mostly an anal lubricant, but might be able to use it elsewhere. But it’s quite sticky. Just so you know.” Or, “Which size anal plug was that again?” “Yes, that dildo does come with balls.” And so on and so forth.

It’s lively entertainment—and it’s all a part of the sex-positive, woman-friendly attitude of Lovehoney. (I must add that there are plenty of high-quality toys for the men, as well.)

We can glean many lessons  from this company’s success in terms of women and sexuality. There’s no seedy or even borderline-seedy in the way of packaging, prodct, or attitude. Being open about sex is part of the company ethos. One of the owners of the company regularly takes news products around to their women employees to ask what they think of it.

In one episode, one of the women tells them the button on a vibrating finger toy is in the wrong place, it would make it too uncomfortable to use. (This toy will be out later this year and will be called Rockbox Finger Toy.) This is all done very matter-of-factly. Imagine, asking women what they want in a product made just for them. Why more sex toy companies don’t do this, I have no idea. I mean, really, only a woman would know this—obviously, the male designer, who was standing right there, had not thought the design through. I think he was viewing from the angle of a man using it on a woman. Interesting, isn’t it?

In the mean time take a look around this site that’s a LIFETIME site, but the Frisky Business folks seem to be blogging there. Great stuff. 

Also, do check out their US site here and their UK site here.

After you visit, come back to Lady Smut, where we are always sex-positive. Subscribe so you don’t miss a thing.

Full disclaimer: I’ve not purchased anything from this company and they are not paying me to write about them. I just think they are very cool. That said, if they wish to shower gifts on me, I will be happy to oblige. Wink.

%d bloggers like this: