Tag Archives: Sex

Meow…Pet me, love me, I’m your kitten. Kitten Play 101

9 Mar

Cute furry ears, long beautiful tail, licking from bowls of milk, scratching, biting and being naughty–no, I’m not talking about the little creature you just adopted from the animal shelter. I’m talking about BDSM kitten play.

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The kitten is the sub, the master or owner the Dom. The kitten acts as you’d imagine: biting, crawling, meowing. The owner cares for the little one by petting and caressing, but also by punishing for misbehavior. What’s the special draw?

Kittens thrive on being cared for, rewarded and punished, but they also thrive on belonging and commitment. The pet and owner participate in a collaring ceremony that binds the two together as well as establishes the boundaries, privileges and responsibilities of the relationship. As with any good relationship, the two care for each other physically as well as emotionally.

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As for the boundaries, those are similar to ones outlined in many BDSM relationships, with the addition of elements regarding the pet aspects. How will the kitten be punished for misbehavior? Rewarded for loyalty and affection? What will the owner do to care for it? How obedient and loyal will it be?

Like other BDSM relationships, kitten play is based on trust, attention and equal dependence. Why this particular fantasy? Kittens thrive on being taken care of, nurtured and cherished, while also getting to put themselves in “kitten headspace” and behaving like the pets they are. The lounge, seek affection and get feisty when the mood strikes. Like with pony play and other types of animal play, many says it relieves stress, generates creativity, and gives them a chance to break from their human self and the complications of their daily life.

tailA while back, I did a post on pony play. Among other things, I offered some reasons why someone would incorporate animal play into their life. The reasons are both sexual and non-sexual, the same applies to kitten play.

Maybe you’re thinking its obvious why a woman who want to be a kitten. Who doesn’t love being taken care of while also getting to lounge around, sleeping and being enigmatic? But what’s the draw for man? Why would he want to be the master of a kitten? I have three words: Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman.

You’re intrigued. You need an idea of where to start. Want to know what type of kitten you are? Try this quiz. Alas, it won’t tell you what sort of submissive kitten play personality you may have, but taking the quiz will give you a break from that pile of work on your desk.

Give us a shout in the comments and follow Lady Smut for more info and awesomeness.

Isabelle Drake writes erotic romance, urban fantasy, horror and young adult thrillers. Her latest story, BAIT, features a woman who hunts and sells zombies, can be found in the horror anthology Gone With The Dead.

Let’s (Not) Have a 3-Way with My Hot Friend

12 Jan

Imagine a man and woman, a committed couple, cozy in each other’s arms. They’re in front of a fireplace, stretched across a soft rug and covered by plaid blanket A half empty bottle of red wine is within reach. Everything is bliss. Until he asks, “Have you ever thought about us doing it with ______.”  No, blank isn’t Charlie Hunnam or Chris Hemsworth. It’s her friend. The hot one with the perfect legs, curvy ass and Instagram ready smile.  sexy-couple-kissing-making-love-in-front-of-a-fireplace-awen-fine-art-prints

Just like that, the sweetness of the moment is gone, and she’s left with an uncertain queasy sensation that starts in her stomach and spreads to her heart. Never mind what happens to her mind. She can’t decide which of her emotions to deal with first. Anger? Hurt? Disgust? Humiliation?

Imagine she says no. But, because she’s reeling from that freshly-delivered nasty basket of emotions, she replies gently, as though she’s hoping that by speaking softly the whole matter will float up the chimney, drifting out into the starry night sky. After being burned into nothingness, of course.

For some reason, maybe the wine, he doesn’t accept her response. He thinks he should explain, offer some reasons:

Its in the books you read/write.

  • Anxiety, murder, disappointment, heartbreak, betrayal…these things are in our books too, but we don’t want them in real life either. That’s why people read–to experience things in the imaginary part of the mind.

It’s so fucking hot in porn.

  • Hello? Everything looks better in porn. That’s why it generated 97 billion dollars last year. How about we not use porn as a standard for positive, sustainable behavior.

You won’t know unless you try it.

  • This is just childish. For example, consider cutting off your pinky finger. You don’t need to do that to know it is 1) a bad idea 2) very painful and 3) irreversible.

It’d just be the one time.

  • See directly above, childish, with the addition of why does that make any difference? I suppose that could be the strength of this reason, as it makes so little logical sense that there is no equivalent response.

Let’s just ask her, then decide if we want to go through with it. There’s no harm in asking.

  • First of all, that’s disrespecting her reply of no. Secondly, yes, there is harm in asking. In fact, he has already caused harm by asking. It’s this asking business that caused the initial complications and delivered that nasty basket of confusing emotions mentioned above.

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Her anger may be the easiest to decode and deal with. She’s mad because he ruined their night by being a disgusting asshole. She’s mad because he’s suggesting the Hot Friend is hotter than she is. Also reasonable–she’s mad that he was stupid enough to bring it up. WTF.

Hurt, while also terrible, is easy to sort thorough and understand–for her. She’s miserable that he doesn’t think she’s enough. Disappointed that he’s been eyeing, and thinking about, sex with not just other women…but a woman she herself has brought around him. When she tells him he has hurt her by suggesting this one-time-only-night-of-fun, he again makes a mistake.

He assumes his woman feels intimated by the Hot Friend and offers some reasons why she need not see herself as less than. The Hot Friend’s boobs aren’t really that great; one may be bigger than the other. When she smiles, you can see the crooked tooth on the lower left center of her jaw, and its kind of janky. She’s a slob…sometimes when she bends over the tops of her panties show. All these reasons makes things worse, hurting the woman partner more because all it does is reveal how carefully this guy has been studying the Hot Friend.

Disgust. This one is tricky. Confusing. Feeling this way may even make her feel guilty. After all, who feels disgusted by the idea of her friend’s body? Let’s skip over that question and hop to the last emotion because its there that the answer to this one lies.

Humiliation. This one is even trickier than disgust. More confusing. Why does she feel so much shame when he’s the one who has asked the question? Why does she feel crushing humiliation when she’s in the same room with the guy and her friend? After all, the three of them being together used to be the best time ever.

Shame comes from acts we’ve done but also from acts that have been done to us. ‘Good’ shame is the guilt we feel after we’ve done something we know we shouldn’t have. ‘Toxic’ shame comes from others; it occurs when we’ve been exposed in a way we weren’t prepared for or in a way that’s too intimate. So, when he asks her if she wants to do the 3-way with her Hot Friend, he’s crossed a boundary and pulled her along for the ride–whether she wanted to go or not. Without repair, the border that had been clearly around the two of them will remain unclear. Unclear = uncertain. Toxic shames also creates feelings of inadequacy. You don’t need me to tell you what doubt  +  insecurity equals.

Pretending ‘the question’ was never asked isn’t going to work. That’s one genie that’s not going back into the bottle. While only one person, in this case her, realizes it, there’s a crack in the foundation. What’s going to repair it? Probably, only more conversation. Will that work?

Have some thoughts? We’d love to hear them. Share ‘em in the comments.

*****

Isabelle Drake writes erotic romance, urban fantasy, horror and young adult thrillers. Her latest story, BAIT, features a woman who hunts and sells zombies, can be found in the horror anthology Gone With The Dead.

Giant Girls and the Men Who Want Them: Macrophilia 101

9 Jun

According to Playboy and the recent Pornhub annual report, giantess women are the new big thing in fantasyland. The demand for macrophiliac images, videos, and stories are on the rise and show no sign of slowing.  macrophilia-fetish-the-men-who-want-to-have-sex-with-actual-giants-body-image-1477499129

In case you’re not one of those typing in “giant woman porn” and hitting search, a macrogynophile is someone, usually a man, who is sexually attracted to a giant person, usually a woman. The word macrophilia translates to “lover of large.” The largeness is typically in height. Even though new giantess sites are now popping up all over the internet this passion isn’t new. Are you familiar with the ’58 movie, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman? You know the one about the beautiful woman who’s turned into a vengeful magnificent giant after encountering some aliens? Oddly sexy, right? How about the adventures of Tom Thumb–I mean the original from the Brothers Grimm. Weirdly intriguing.

Men who long for giant woman dream about being smothered by her huge breasts, 280758d832bcd76453e03d891714f5a1squashed beneath her behemoth feet, or–a special subfantasy of the giantess crowd–vore–which is being eaten by this gorgeous gargantuan. Swallowed whole.

Why, you want to know? Other than the obvious, the idea of being overtaken by a giant woman is kinky and unique, why would a guy be particularly excited by a giant woman? One theory is that because in most societies men are seen as powerful and dominant, they find the idea of being released from the pressure and responsibility that comes along with those assumptions both freeing and frightening. This combination ignites the fight or flight instinct and by choosing to fight, even in their imagination, they get an adrenaline rush. That leads to arousal and… You see? In this case the fear is safe–like the rush you get from watching a good horror movie. Another theory is that one often applied to kinks and fetishes. An adolescent experiences something non-sexual yet he is suddenly and inexplicably powerfully aroused, and so from that moment forward the person associates sexual arousal with the otherwise non-sexual experience or object.

Frequently there are BDSM themes or erotic humiliation elements woven into the giantess fantasies. According to sex therapist Pamela Supple, “Power, domination and vulnerability are at the heart of macrophilia.”It’s allowing your mind to go wherever it wants to go, whilst engaging in play to gain the maximum sexual arousal. Some want to feel and experience terror – being crushed or controlled. Everyone is different in what they want to experience.” Supple also believes macrophilia has enjoyed a massive surge in popularity in the past few years, citing the internet’s crucial role in helping to both create and facilitate the fetish. And, in some cases, introducing the fetish to those who have been looking for a name for what they feel.

Obviously, this particular fantasy can be difficult to act out in real life, as 50 foot women are hard to find. However, there are some unusually tall women who specialize in catering to men who love them for their statuesque stature.

Women, if you’re feeling left out, and wonder if there is a parallel world where you get to fantasize about giant men, the answer is yes. It’s just not as common. The speculation on this is that there isn’t enough reality breaking to really give this traction. Men are already typically bigger, we’re accustomed to being somewhat smaller. So the step outside of the usual just isn’t that far. Still, if you’re one of the rare women who share this interest, check out https://giantesskatelyn.com/.

Shout out in the comments, let us know what you think about these hot, giant women. And, follow us at Lady Smut! But wait, there’s more: Subscribe to our saucy monthly newsletter!

-An Anthology of Romance and Horror-mediumIsabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, urban fantasy, and young adult thrillers. Her latest story, BAIT, features a woman who hunts and sells zombies, can be found in the horror anthology GONE WITH THE DEAD.

Never Have You Ever Ever, sex-positive game, home and office edition.

12 May
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Can you believe they trusted me with the mic?

What do sweet tea, brownies, free books, prize boxes filled with sex toys, swag bags featuring sexy body chains from Unbound Boxes, and highly personal, potentially inappropriate questions about your sex life have in common? If you joined us at the raved about Lady Smut Blogger’s RTBooklover’s convention event, Never Have You Ever Ever, you already know the answer.

If you weren’t able to join us, no worries. You don’t have to wait until next year to play. Here is the Never Have You Ever Ever home and office edition. How do you play?

  1. Gather a group of your friends.
  2. Do a trial run to make sure they know how to raise their hand. Do this by asking, “Do you want to play this highly personal and potentially inappropriate game?” Anyone who raises their hand is in.

Now that they’re in, here are the rules:

  1. You ask a question.
  2. If their answer is “yes,” they raise their hand.
  3. If their hand is up, they are still in the running to win.
  4. If their hand goes down, they’re out.

Variation: allow game players to rejoin if their subsequent answer are “yes.” To do this, they simply raise their hand to get back in. Later, you can switch to sudden death.

Variation: add your own questions.

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Unbound Boxes, filled with sex toys.

The first round is the sweetness round. Here, the sweetest of the sweet is revealed. The sweetness finalists who attended our RT event were gifted with a box of sex toys…but, maybe you could simply offer your winners the great, well-kept secret underground website that only very few people know about: PORNHUB.

Ready, set, read the questions to reveal the sweetest of the sweet.

  • Raise your hand if you’ve had less than 2 sexual relationships in your whole life.
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve NEVER given or received oral sex.
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve NEVER EVER tried masturbating.
  • Keep your hand up if you’re a vaginal virgin.
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve NEVER EVER EVER French kissed someone.

The second round is the naughty round. Who among you has done…if not all, a lot. Same rules. Hand up for yes. Down for no. Again our RT finalists were gifted with an awesome box of sex toys. What should you give your winner? How about a pad of paper and a pen, so they can start writing some steamy romances for us all to read.

  • Raise your hand if you’ve ever done any role-playing.
  • Keep your hand up if you have any piercings below your neck.

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    Hostesses Kris, Elizabeth, Isabelle & Stephy. 

  • Keep your hand up if you’ve ever intentionally seduced someone.
  • Keep your hand up if it’s not your bellybutton.
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve ever gotten or given a lap dance.
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve ever done any bondage or spanking.
  • Keep your hand up if you’re a member of the mile high club.
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve ever had sex with a younger person (by which we mean you were over the age of 30, and the person was at least 9 years younger).
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve ever had anal sex.
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve ever used a strap on toy .
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve ever interacted with a stripper or stripper–male or female.
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve ever had sex with more than one person at the same time?
  • Keep your hand up if you have been, or been with, a unicorn.
  • Keep your hand up if you’ve ever participated in an orgy.
  • Keep your hand up if you have a rumpus room at home.

There you have it, the official, abbreviated home and office edition of the first ever Lady Smut sex-positive game.

Start playing, folks! Share your discoveries and results in the comments! Follow us at Lady Smut! Subscribe to our saucy monthly newsletter!

-An Anthology of Romance and Horror-mediumIsabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, urban fantasy, and young adult thrillers. Her latest story, BAIT, features a woman who hunts and sells zombies, can be found in the horror anthology GONE WITH THE DEAD.

It’s Time to Make a Sex Bucket List

3 Mar

New Year’s Eve kisses are a distant memory. The Valentine’s Day afterglow has faded. Now that we’re in the lull of winter-spring, how do you keep the bedroom fires burning?

Might I suggest creating a sex bucket list?

The sex bucket list is exactly what it means. Make a list of naughty, sexy things you want to try (or do more of) this year. Imagine the smile on your face when you cross off “Have sex outdoors” or something equally adventurous.

Making a sex bucket List

Why you need a sex bucket list

When it comes to bedroom play, we often get stuck in a rut without realizing it. Sex and orgasms isn’t usually top of mind after a long day of work, kids, and household chores. A bucket list creates low-stress but mega-fun goals. Even if you don’t quite hit the goal, you’ll have fun trying.

Prioritizing fun in the bedroom means you’ll have something to look forward to that evening (day, night, whenever you decide). Did I mention it’s fun?

Tips on making your list

Making your list doesn’t have to be hard. Here are some things to keep in mind as you make your list:

  • Try new to you locations: take the sex out of the bedroom. How about a blow job in the shower, sex in the woods, or test out a remote control egg during an action movie?
  • Take it off: Include or remove clothing or toys. Go out to a fancy dinner with no underwear or wear some vibrating panties during a road trip.
  • Play with yourself: Include items that don’t need a play buddy, unless you count a rabbit vibe as your play buddy. You’re more likely to accomplish them if you’re not dependent on a partner and their mood.
  • Include your play buddy (if you have one) when you make your list. You’ll have fun making the list together and they might come with ideas you’ve never even considered. You can even include some sex toys for couples into the challenge.
  • Experiment with BDSM. After all, we’ve read all about it in our smut, why not give it a go? If you’re not sure how to bring up the topic of domination and submission, Domme Mona Darling offers some tips.

You’ve made your list, now what?

It’s time to get busy! Close the blinds (or not) and start crossing off the challenges you’ve chosen.

I figure, by the time I come up for air, spring will have finally have its foot in the door and we can take things outside. Live dangerously, right?

What would you put on your sex bucket list?

Thien-Kim Lam is currently writing romances about Asian American women who have mega hot sex. She is the founder of Bawdy Bookworms, a subscription box that pairs sexy reads with bedroom toys and sensual products. Batteries included. Check her Pleasure Pairings guide with buzzy recommendations for the adventurous reader

Bondage Rope Starter Guide: the busy woman’s cheat sheet on what to get to get what you want.

10 Feb

by Isabelle Drake

Thinking about buying some bondage rope? If you are, you won’t be alone this weekend.

First time thinking about buying rope? Again, you won’t be alone this weekend.

Headed to the hardware store because you want that rope – in – a – hurry?

Sounds good. But you may want to think about what’s going to work best for you ahead of time. You know, to avoid that awkward moment when the helpful salesperson asks you what type you want then, in attempt to assist you better, asks you what you want it for. See what I mean?rope-tape-cable-ties

There are three things to consider.

Fiber

Think of fiber as the rope’s texture and appearance. It’s what the rope is made from, so fiber determines the look, texture, pliability, smell, and overall aesthetic. The four most common fibers used in bondage are hemp, jute, nylon and MFP.

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Hemp rope

Hemp

Thanks to the fact that its natural, hemp offers great smell and texture. It’s soft but strong. It ‘breathes’ and bends, tucking itself into the contours of the body. The texture makes it easy to secure knots and this rope adjusts to varying tension levels.

Bonus, it has great old-school appeal, making it easy to imagine you’re being bound by a pirate or roped by a cowboy.

Notes on hemp:

  • it can be put through the washer but looses strength with each washing.
  • it looks wonderful in person but is hard to photograph.
  • its more expensive than the other commonly used roped.

 

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Jute rope

Jute

Jute, the other natural choice, is nearly the opposite of hemp.

This fiber starts out very strong, sturdy and rough. This makes it a favorite of those who prefer edge in their rope play. That same firm texture makes it hold knots very well and photograph really well.

Bonus, this rope is light and so travels well. And yes, it also has that old school appeal of hemp.

Notes on jute:

  • it has enough grip to stay in place, but not as much as hemp. As a result, careful tensioning is required when using jute.
  • it can be tricky to wash and must be stretch dried to retain length.
  • it requires careful selection when purchasing. Be sure to ask about the weave, as loosely woven jute will not last very long.

Nylon and MFP (multi-fiber polypropylene)

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Nylon rope

These are manufactured, oil-based ropes, so cost quite a bit less than the natural alternatives. Because they are not natural, they maintain their round shape consistently and over a long period. They both wash easily and can be used in the water.

Something to consider, they don’t hold body heat. As a result, some users find these feel less natural and say they fell disconnected from these ropes.

Bonus, these fibers comes in many bright colors, are super shiny and photograph great.

Notes on nylon and MFP:

  • in regard to weight, they are about the same as jute.
  • they are very strong.
  • they can be tricky to use as they are slippery so tension can be difficult to control.

Diameter

A good diameter to start with is between 4mm-8mm. 7mm and 8mm are frequently selected due to strength and comfort. Obviously, strength is very important when considering suspension. Also, the thicker ropes are easier on the skin and, as a result, are the better option for longer bondage sessions.

Thickness impacts rope stiffness and weight. Thicker ropes are more stiff. The stiffer the rope is, the less pliable it is. Therefore, knots and intricate patterns can be difficult. Thicker ropes are also heavier and, consequently, more difficult to transport.

Length

In regard to length, consider what the rope will be used for, ie, simple wrist ties or full body suspension, and the size of the person being bound.  The North American standard is about 30 feet, with 15 foot spares. The Japanese have a more complicated system of deciding rope length, basing the decision on the measurements of the rigger. The idea is to use a length that the rigger can work with easily and fluidly. That measurement is typically between 23 and 27 feet with 12.5 foot spares.

Not buying any rope for yourself? No worries. In an effort to make this knowledge useful, take yourself to the opening of FIFTY this weekend, reread your tattered paperbacks, and check out what they use, see if you would have made the same selections.

Be sure to come back all next week for our Fifty Shades Darker Celebration and Valentine’s Giveaway. We’ll be doing it Lady Smut style!

fifty-ball

Isabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, urban fantasy, and young adult thrillers. She’s also working on her own sexy android erotica.

What are you doing for Valentine’s Day? Taking a bath with your book boyfriend?

Click to see other wonderful spa items from Lux Aromatica.

This Valentine’s Day weekend, we’re offering a Kama Sutra giveaway from Lux Aromatica that includes massage oil, soap, a candle, and lip balm.

To enter the giveaway, hit the SUBSCRIBE button on our blog now–it’s the pink button up at the top on the right–and fill out the form.  One random winner will be chosen from central Virginia where Kerensa’s stores are located and one random winner from the nation at large. (Continental US only, please!)

Turned on by wires & circuits? Intrigued by the opportunity to pre-program your experience? Robot fetish 101

13 Jan

By Isabelle Drake

Want to get busy with a techno man?  Interested in androids? Love the AMC show Humans?

If you are a Duran, Duran fan, or remember the old school video to Electric Barbarella, the sexy robot thing is nothing new to you.

Here’s something that might be new. Robot fetishism, considered part of technosexuality, is divided into two usually separate fantasies:

  • Sex with a person dressed in a robot costume, a person acting like a robot, or sex with pre-made sex android robot.
  • Sex with person who has been willingly or unwillingly transformed into a robot or being transformed into a robot oneself and subsequently having sex. The transformation is of key interest in this fantasy.

Both of these interests stem from the uncanniness of the android.

Ernst Jentsch, credited with being the first to identify the state of the uncanny in a 1906 essay, “On the Psychology of the Uncanny,” defines the state as a person’s “doubts whether an apparently animate being is really alive; or conversely, whether a lifeless object might be, in fact, animate.” He was quick to note that awareness and understanding of such a state is important to a fiction writer. “In telling a story one of the most successful devices for easily creating uncanny effects is to leave the reader in uncertainty whether a particular figure in the story is a human being or an automaton and to do it in such a way that his attention is not focused directly upon his uncertainty, so that he may not be led to go into the matter and clear it up immediately.”

In the show, Humans, Anita confesses her love for Ed the scene is both compelling and disturbing. According to Sigmund Freud the basis for this reaction in the uncanny.

In his essay, “The Uncanny” Freud expanded this concept of the uncanny state being linked to the relationship between the animate and the innate. Additionally, he examined concepts of human development in regard to maturation as having a key relationship to a person’s perception of what is uncanny. For example, in childhood humans enjoy repetition. This appreciation begins before the child is old enough to desire, or even understand, control. As the child matures, and begins to understand the advantage of control and thus desires it, the child takes less pleasure in repetition.

Therefore, continued, undesired, and uncontrollable repetition is disturbing because it represents a lack of control and thus regression and is therefore potentially alarming. Freud asserted that the state of the uncanny is linked to the subconscious in additional way. He stated that a person experiences something as uncanny because it reminds the individual of the conflict between their repressed desires, desires which the individual presumably struggles to control, and feared punishment for deviating from societal norms.

Tell us what you think in the comments. Are human-like robots sexy or scary? Want to get busy with an android?7818008_f260

And – follow us here at Lady Smut. We’re always here to inform, entertain, and keep you up to date.

Isabelle Drake writes erotica, erotic romance, urban fantasy, and young adult thrillers. She’s also working on her own sexy android erotica.

The joy of travel sex

16 Dec

by Rachel Kramer Bussel

If you ask me, travel sex is some of the hottest sex in the world. Why? Because travel puts us in a different headspace, where anything can happen. For me, there’s a mix of anticipation, uncertainty and adventure that, when combined as I step onto a plane, check into a hotel or set foot in a new to me city, make me feel far more uninhibited than I do at home.

One of the most outrageous travel sex adventures I’ve ever had happened during an unexpected overnight layover. My flight had been cancelled and I decided to stay at the airport overnight. This was long ago enough that I don’t actually remember what airport it was, which doesn’t really matter save for the fact that the place cleared out as people scrambled to find hotel rooms. Except for me…and a guy who was also stranded. I believe he was from somewhere in South America. He was incredibly sweet and as we waited next to each other, we talked…and then did much more.

It’s hard to put into words without it sounding sordid but what we shared in that airport is actually one of my favorite sexual memories. Why? Because it was completely unexpected. Because we likely never would have met had fate not brought us together that night. Because I would have been scared as hell to spend a whole night in an airport entirely alone. So yes, it was much more than stolen hand jobs. It was a chance to connect with a total stranger and get through a frustrating situation and release some sexual tension. It was an opportunity to be exhibitionists hidden in plain sight.

I also have a huge fondness for hotel sex, whether during a staycation or a full on trip, because hotels are such gorgeous blank slates, with their freshly made beds and amenities, with the chance to shed all my mental baggage for a few nights and bring out my most erotically adventurous side.

on-sale-now-best-womens-erotica-of-the-year-2

So it’s no surprise that travel lust made its way into my brand new anthology, Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 2, released this week. I didn’t set out with that plan in mind, but as I read the submissions that landed in my inbox, over and over I found a trip to be the key to starting a fling or relationship. This made perfect sense within the context of each story, and as I crafted the table of contents, I realized how perfectly each travel erotica tale fit within the greater whole. Each of these women are on an adventure, whether they know it when they start out or not, that takes them somewhere they didn’t expect to go. They don’t just “make the best of things” and muddle through, but truly use travel to learn more about themselves and avail themselves of the erotic opportunities awaiting them.

dorianne-best-womens-erotica-quote

One of the travel stories in the book is “Like Lights in the Northern Sky” by Dorianne. Here’s how she describes the title phenomenon:

Green and blue waves of light pirouetted across the sky. The stars were dazzling here every night, but now they played peekaboo, constantly disappearing behind a vibrant wash of color only to reappear a second later as the real color (teal, royal blue, emerald and chartreuse green) pulsed in a different direction. Valentina stopped breathing, her entire awareness focused on the light show playing against a rich, black backdrop.

“Aurora borealis,” said one of the tourists.

Wawasayg,” Johnny whispered in her ear.

Dorianne paints an intriguing and intimate portrait not just of this natural phenomenon, but also about the lodge owner and his wife, who are in an open relationship, and how tourist Valentina gets an unexpected but very welcome erotic introduction to the land she’s visiting.

kay-jaybee-best-womens-erotica-of-the-year-volume-two

In “Brick Dust” by Kay Jaybee, protagonist Liza, who lives in England, takes a job at a South African sandstone brick quarry, which leads to some very sexy on-the-job training. We find out she’s taken this assignment in part to escape her ex, Ryan, and his kinky requests, but in this isolated location, with hunky boss Mick, they just may be right up her alley:

Liza could picture the words her ex had written clearly despite her blindfold, she had read them so often. “He…he wanted to tease my body until I begged.”

“That’s the bit that I’ve waned about the most.” Dropping to his knees, Mick sent a shower of particles spraying across Liza’s legs. “It’s not the fact you are bound at at my mercy, but that you’er going to have to plead for me to fuck you that’s working the magic.”

The blanket of ground brick beneath Liza’s body that had initially felt like a soft mattress morphed into unyielding grime-covered earth as Mick spoke. The top layer was sticking to her back, making Liza feel as though she were a living piece of sandpaper. Each time she wriggled her back was scratched, but rather than feeling uncomfortable, it sent ripples of confused desire tripping through her veins.

Jaybee does an excellent job of making sure we get up close and personal with how aroused Liza gets by their public sex, precisely because she’s in a new environment with someone she trusts completely.

josie-jordan-best-womens-erotica-of-the-year-volume-two

In “Volcano Nights” by Josie Jordan, strangers are thrust together when they have to share the only available room in a hotel. When I interviewed the author about the story’s origins, she told me, “There’s something inherently sexy about long-haul travel. All these strangers briefly thrown together, never to meet again.”

Indeed, the surprise layover, combined with her feelings after catching her boyfriend in bed with someone else, make Monica prone to flirting in ways she like wouldn’t be back home:

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“That I’m going to bed with you in a minute,” I blurted before I could help myself. To hide my embarrassment, I drained my wine.

His smile widened. “I keep thinking about that too.” His eyes sparkled.

My stomach fluttered again and I toyed with my empty glass.

For me, whenever I roll my suitcase away from home and set forth on a voyage, a part of me does step into that anything-can-happen mindset. It’s part of what, in my opinion, makes joining the mile high club so much fun. These days, I’m in a monogamous relationship, but were I to find myself on a crashing plane taking my last breaths, I have a feeling I wouldn’t be worried about propriety. While I am not too fearful about air travel, that frisson of concern and the fact that there are so many factors out of my control, have in the past helped me blurt out similar sentiments to Monica’s. It’s almost as if when we travel, we are adding a layer of sexual bravado that allows us to go where we’ve never gone before, in more than the geographic sense.

Reading itself offers a similar feeling from home, letting us virtually travel to other lands, other worlds and other people’s beds and, perhaps, letting us absorb some of the characters’ coveted bravado. If you’re curious about just what kinds of naughty adventures traveling can lead to, I hope you’ll check out Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 2, out now in print and ebook and available at your favorite local bookstore.

Rachel Kramer Bussel (rachelkramerbussel.com) has edited over 60 anthologies, including Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, Volume 1 and Volume 2, Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, Begging for It, Fast Girls, The Big Book of Orgasms and more. She writes widely about sex, dating, books and pop culture and teaches erotica writing classes around the country and online. Follow her @raquelita on Twitter and find out more about her classes and consulting at eroticawriting101.com.

The Complexity Of Desire

1 Feb

Sexy coupleAn interesting statistic published in the most recent issue of Psychology Today states that 50% of men aged 18-25 think about sex at least once every five minutes. Yowza! The drive to copulate stays pretty healthy as men age, too. According to that same study, only 25% of men still couldn’t go five minutes without sex coming to mind. That’s a whole lotta sex going on in our heads, although not necessarily in our beds. I wonder why this might be. If men are thinking about sex that much, there’s gotta be a certain percentage of the gals who are thinking about it, too. But how come there’s all this thinking without as much doing. How come we’re not having as much sex as we apparently want, or having exactly the kind of sex we truly desire?

British philospher Alain de Botton has a theory. In his new book,  How To Think More About Sex, he states that most people lie about their true desires. We’re not gettin’ it the way we want it, because we’re not being honest about exactly what we want.

The problem, according to de Botton, is complicated. What’s erotic to one person can just as easily be disgusting to another. Revealing what we desire sexually to our partners makes us vulnerable and open to ridicule. A guy who longs to give his gal a facial might be met with a look of revolt and annoyance. How could he even consider such a thing?! And just like that, revealing his desire gets him nothing more than a big fat reject slip. But let’s say that the girl is cool with having her face sprayed with his cum; in fact, thinks it’s the most intimate thing she’s ever heard. That’s what makes moments of true eroticism so intense, says de Botton, because the revealed desire is accepted and welcomed rather than scorned and rejected.

Sex is a wonderful thing, but it’s also exceedingly complicated. De Botton says that it’s always going to cause us angst because we often suffer privately with our sexual thoughts. Well, that in itself is kind of dismal, but I can see where he’s going with it. Sex isn’t just one thing. It’s not merely the psysiological act of intercourse. It’s the whole ball o’ wax. The longing, the arousal, the shared intimacies, the (hopefully) shared desires which all lead to sex.

This is another reason why I love erotic romance. The stories reflect how we feel, how we struggle, how we perform the dance of love and sex. It doesn’t all have to be a journey of sugar-coated happiness. Our characters can be put through their paces, they can be tested, they can suffer. But along the way they have really hot sex where no one is rejected, where women always achieve orgasm, and they end up happily together in the end. Fantasy? Sure. Escapism? Absolutely. But if, in real life, we have to suffer through everything including our own desires, then I’m cool with leaving those struggles behind when I open the pages of a hot erotic romance.

Hmm, I think I’ve got some reading to do. Have a great weekend!

Sweet, Sexy, or Smokin’: What Makes A Story Hot?

26 Oct

At a recent book signing I attended, I stopped by the table where one of my writer friends was stationed. Wanting to lend my support I told her I’d buy one of her books and suggested she recommend one among the several available. She drew one out and said, “Well, you read a lot of erotic romance. Try this one. It’s hot, but without the words.” Saaaay what?!

I haven’t read the book yet, but a quick flip through the pages revealed plenty of “erections” “nipples” and “spilled seed.” Those are the words I’d expect to see. So it got me thinking: what exactly makes a story hot?

The book signing took place at the New Jersey RWA annual conference, and at one of the panels an editor talked about an upcoming book that had her squiming in her seat because of an erotic hand washing scene. That’s right. Hand washing. No kissing, no petting, no nudity, just a girl and a guy washing their hands together. The editor said the description of the slippery soap and the hands intermingling and sliding around could’ve lit a bonfire in her office.

So if a story is hot “without the words” – and without the sex! – what’s an erotic romance author to do in order to appeal to the widest possible audience? To get her readers squirming in their seats? Tastes and perception of what turns someone on vary from one reader to the other. One gal’s desire for a hero’s six pack abs gets her as revved as another girl does from full, soft lips.

When I think about what makes a scene hot, I also consider the length . . . of the scene. 🙂 Erotic romance love scenes are generally more descriptive and longer than those in sweet or sexy romances. They are also, often, more graphic. That, too, is something to ponder. Is it hot if the scene includes a detailed description of the heroine’s juices flowing down her thighs? If we’re informed that the head of the hero’s aroused cock is so hard that it’s purple? For me it can be . . . as long as the emotion is there. If I know how much the couple is really into each other, on an emotional level, that in itself is arousing. I understand that they’re hardly going to be in love if they’ve just met, but if there’s an emotional connection on some type of level, the desciption of their sexual experience can be arousing in lots of different ways.

In the end, I imagine there’s a tipping point in any given erotic romance in which the description is too long, or too graphic, and the scene fizzles faster than Kim Kardashian’s marriage. The challenge for the writer is to walk that fine line and get our motors running without making us run away.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Elizabeth

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