Tag Archives: Time Out New York

Stressed At Work? Take A Masturbation Break

25 Jan
Someone needs a break!

Someone needs a break!

By Elizabeth Shore

Although I’m not a smoker, I’ve always felt there’s something appealing about taking a cigarette break at work.

Know what I mean?

You go outside for a few minutes, get some fresh air, and just chill the heck out for a few minutes away from the phone, the computer, and those annoying work mates. It’s a few perfect moments to de-stress. And because it’s so darn perfect, seems like there ought to be a similar work stress break for us non-smokers. Sure, we could go outside as well and just stand there, but somehow not having the ciggie prop to accompany the standing doesn’t seem quite right. So what to do?? Well, according to some doctors, their go-to Rx is to find a private spot and rub out some self love. You read that right. To de-stress at work, they say you should take a masturbation break.

Psychologist and Life Coach Dr. Cliff Arnall, in an article posted in metro.co.uk., says, “I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling, Certainly taking a masturbation break for boredom or an escape would increase work focus.”

I like the way you think, Cliff! After all, in corporate lingo, masturbation breaks seem like the perfect “win-win” situation. They’re healthy for the employee since she’ll be more relaxed and better able to focus on work, and healthy for the company because a happy employee is a productive employee. Anyone see a problem here?

Not Hot Octopuss. Last year the sex toy maker debuted its inaugural “masturbation booth” on 28th street and 5th avenue in NYC and claims to have had 100 men take full advantage of it on its debut day. Success like that surely means expansion, right? Right on! Hot Octopuss says it’ll be setting up more self-love booths in other major cities across the globe, so stayed tuned. Of courose, what I want to know is, where are booths for the women?

There are some religious groups, of course, who want nothing whatsoever to do with “pleasures of the flesh.” Porn-free.org states that masturbation, “opens the door to the deceiving influences of lust.” Sounds serious. However, there is a possibility that the masturbation break at work could potentially lead to sexual harassment situations. Or hostile workplace environments. For instance, if employees started bringing in their favorite skin mags as a way to “inspire” them during their breaks and then accidentally left them lying around. Or worse yet, asked a fellow employee to be the source of inspiration. If the solo becomes a duo, then inappropriate workplace behavior become an HR nightmare just waiting to happen.

Those concerns aside, the masturbation break is, literally, just what the doctor ordered as a way to de-stress. Apparently plenty of workers have already jumped on that bandwagon. A Time Out New York poll had 39 percent of male respondents confessing to doing the deed, and a 2012 Glamour magazine poll put the figure at 31 percent of all workers.

What do you think? Are you in on the masturbation break at work, or is it better to keep work and play separate? Let us know in the comments, and be sure to follow us at Lady Smut, where our posts are always a nice break. No lube required.

Have Yourself A Kinky Little Christmas

14 Dec

Wanna celebrate with me?

By Elizabeth Shore

Egad, can it be? Are we seriously saying that Christmas is the end of next week???!! Gaaah!! If you haven’t finished your shopping, there’s no time to waste. Stop binge watching Master of None and focus, people, focus! And yet…what to get? What would he love to receive? What should you do that he’d remember? Relax and rest easy, friends. Lady Smut is here with some decidedly smutty ideas to get you either 1) in the proper frame of mind to ignore rude, pushy shoppers at the mall; or 2) in the proper frame of mind to imagine what you and your gift receiver are going to do with your bounty. So get going!

1. Tis better to give than receive, right? We all know that. So instead of loading up on material gifts from the mall, how about giving your man a gift you can keep on giving? One he’s truly going to remember? And just what is this marvelous idea? Why, your supreme new techniques on pleasuring his balls, of course.

The delicate scrotum is to some women nothing but a scary sack of mystery. Should you touch it? Would he like it? Yes, and yes, according to an interview with Metro.com, in which the interviewer rounded up a bunch of guys and simply asked them what they like done with those gonads. Imagine that. The responses uniformly stressed the importance of remembering the delicacy of the family jewels. Treat them as if they’re “made of glass,” said one bloke, since they are “delicate souls” another reminds us. Still and all, soft stroking, licking, kissing, and cupping all made the list, so if this is the kind of selfless gift you’d like to bestow upon your guy, here’s the link for the tips.

2. Pull together a soundtrack for two. Getting your jiggy on is more fun when you can bump and grind to sultry beats, so why not present him with a customized playlist just for the two of you, fire it up and head for nirvana. Or Nirvana. According to Spotify, the #1 song in 2016 to have sex to is Rihanna’s Sex With Me. So there’s that. However, if it just so happens that you loathe that song (I’m just sayin’), Time Out New York put out earlier this year their list of 50 Best Sex Songs of All Time. We all know that music preference can vary wildly, but this list has a pretty wide range, with tunes from Lady B to Bobby D (Dillon, that is) and loads of artists in between. Get some inspiration from the list and then go inspire him.

3. If you’re hankering for a getaway where clothing is optional – and really, who wouldn’t? – why not give you both a vacation and splurge on the world’s “most iconic playground,” Hedonism II. With the tagline, Your Pleasure is our Passion, the adults only, clothing-optional resort lets you bring out your wild child. There are shows, bands, nightclubs, water sports – and theme nights! Ranging from hedonistic school girl to bare as you dare to fetish night, they aim to bring out the true meaning of hedonism, “the pursuit of pleasure and sensual self-indulgence.” Vice writer Anna Pulley said in a recent article that she learned to love her body at Hedonism II so really, how bad can that be? Book by December 20th and get a special “lust price.” I’m lusting already.

4. Some miscellaneous sexy ideas, in no particular order:

  • Butt table. It’s a table. With a picture of a butt on it.
  • Fur oil. Whether you’re bare down there or you’ve got a garden you tend, give it some love with fur oil. Sold on Gwyneth Paltrow’s site, Goop (where else?), for only $39 a little dab will do ya to soften and condition either the hair or the skin in your most private of regions.
  • Organic, fair trade-certified condoms, lubes, and wipes from Sustain. Oh, and they donate 10% of pretax profits to women without access to healthcare, so you can not only feel awesome about buying these products, you can be awesome by helping the cause.
  • Pine Pollen aphrodisiac. Mix it in a smoothie, or into tea. It’ll make you go whee!! Or not. Who knows. But it claims to be a potent aphrodisiac so it could be worth a try. At the very least, it’ll be fun to find out whether it works.

So there you have it. A few gift suggestions for making the season bright. Wishing you a very kinky holiday from all of us at Lady Smut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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